OC Zed
Footballguy
Sounds like you are off to a good start here.
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"If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yo (2 Viewers)
- Thread starter No. 16
- Start date
No. 16
Footballguy
Need a little help from the FFA here. Went out last Saturday and got a Hawaiian spinner's phone number. Our interaction was short as my friends and I were bar hopping and I was pretty drunk.
Here's a summary of our interaction:
We danced. I bought her a drink. Talked and asked for her number at the bar . She gave it to me (number is verified as we both had our cell phones out). We danced again, bought another round of drinks. Danced a little bit more and I left without saying a word after my friends found me. While we were dancing some big black dude kept trying to butt in (Keep in mind I'm 5'6" and weigh about 140 pounds) but I held firm to my crotch positioned on her ###. She danced with me, but it seemed like she knew him though. I know for a fact it's not her boyfriend, since I asked her cousin (who told me he just got out of jail BTW), but who knows. I did see her dance with him as I was leaving.
I finally text her Monday night and this is our conversation:
Here is my initial text: "Hi. This is No. 16 from Loft. Had fun with you Saturday. We should kick it again, but this time without me making some big black dude jealous."
Her about 20 minutes later: "Lol hey! Ya just let me know!"
Me about half an hour later: "I work on call at the hospital so my only guaranteed day off is this Friday. you free?"
Her 2 hours later @ 23:52 Monday: "What time n what u thinkin of?"
My reply the next morning during break @ 0947 am: "Sorry. I sleep early when I have work. So you are free anytime Friday? Anything you want to do since u just arrived here? [she just moved to the Bay Area from Hawaii about 2 weeks or 2 months ago, not sure which.]
Her reply about 30 minutes after: "I want to sky dive!!!!"
After that I get busy at lunch don't feel like texting. And there's no way in hell I'm taking her skydiving. There is an indoor skydiving spot near me. I went to look but there's no times available for Friday. After I work I then have Happy hour with some friends so basically I didn't respond to her after that last text message for a while. I decide that for Friday night, I'd rather take her to dinner and the Warriors game then maybe a bar afterwards if everything is going well.
So last night I called her at about 930 PM. She didn't answer so I left a voice mail stating that I just wanted to talk to her about getting together Friday night.
It's now 230 pm and still no call back or text. So what's the shark move? Do I wait her out? Do I send her a text? Do I call again?
Need your help FFA.
Here's a summary of our interaction:
We danced. I bought her a drink. Talked and asked for her number at the bar . She gave it to me (number is verified as we both had our cell phones out). We danced again, bought another round of drinks. Danced a little bit more and I left without saying a word after my friends found me. While we were dancing some big black dude kept trying to butt in (Keep in mind I'm 5'6" and weigh about 140 pounds) but I held firm to my crotch positioned on her ###. She danced with me, but it seemed like she knew him though. I know for a fact it's not her boyfriend, since I asked her cousin (who told me he just got out of jail BTW), but who knows. I did see her dance with him as I was leaving.
I finally text her Monday night and this is our conversation:
Here is my initial text: "Hi. This is No. 16 from Loft. Had fun with you Saturday. We should kick it again, but this time without me making some big black dude jealous."
Her about 20 minutes later: "Lol hey! Ya just let me know!"
Me about half an hour later: "I work on call at the hospital so my only guaranteed day off is this Friday. you free?"
Her 2 hours later @ 23:52 Monday: "What time n what u thinkin of?"
My reply the next morning during break @ 0947 am: "Sorry. I sleep early when I have work. So you are free anytime Friday? Anything you want to do since u just arrived here? [she just moved to the Bay Area from Hawaii about 2 weeks or 2 months ago, not sure which.]
Her reply about 30 minutes after: "I want to sky dive!!!!"
After that I get busy at lunch don't feel like texting. And there's no way in hell I'm taking her skydiving. There is an indoor skydiving spot near me. I went to look but there's no times available for Friday. After I work I then have Happy hour with some friends so basically I didn't respond to her after that last text message for a while. I decide that for Friday night, I'd rather take her to dinner and the Warriors game then maybe a bar afterwards if everything is going well.
So last night I called her at about 930 PM. She didn't answer so I left a voice mail stating that I just wanted to talk to her about getting together Friday night.
It's now 230 pm and still no call back or text. So what's the shark move? Do I wait her out? Do I send her a text? Do I call again?
Need your help FFA.
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IvanKaramazov
Footballguy
You know I used to wait two days to call anybody, but now it's like everyone in town waits two days. So I think three days is kind of money.
Gr00vus
Footballguy
I wouldn't sweat it, if it doesn't work out for this weekend, there's always next weekend. Just hit a different club Fri with your friends if you she doesn't get back to you. Might work out great if you can work the indoor skydiving in next week anyway.Also I wouldn't do the full red carpet thing for the 1st date. Warrior game OR dinner followed by drinks, not both, at most.Remember, the goal right now is to make them know you're interested, but they're not the only thing you've got going. Keep it loose, flexible and light.
No. 16
Footballguy
So just wait her out?
John Bender
Footballguy
Don't do anything. You left the ball in her court. If she wants you, she will go to you.Otherwise, find another piece.
Gr00vus
Footballguy
Start making other plans for Friday. If she gets back to you, you're the one 
- you can either change your plans, invite her along or say, "sorry I made other plans - how about next weekend"?Worst case you go out with your friends again and pick up more numbers, which might actually be the best case. The only way you lose here is if you get hung up on this one chick who you don't even know.
No. 16
Footballguy
About finding another piece. How much facebook stalking before it is considered creepy?Went with my friends to a birthday party at a bar of a girl I didn't know. We introduced ourselves, etc and mingled with the Birthday party even though only a couple of guys knew the girl. There was this one Latina chick that I was interested in and talked to for a bit, but she left the party after about 45 minutes because she had somewhere else to go. I found the Birthday girl on Facebook, but was difficult because I had to find her through ANOTHER mutual friend since the friend that introduced us has his friends private or some BS. Her profile is private so I can't make direct access to the Latina chick. So in order to get to the Latina chick I have to befriend bday girl, but not sure if she may find it creepy that I hunted her down.
Quint
Footballguy
march down to the Marina and take your pick.
Guster
Footballguy
This seems like too much work. Oh, and it's creepy
STEADYMOBBIN 22
Footballguy
You're over thinking this. I do like the enthusiasm.Oh, and if you think it's creepy...... Also, whats then end game, you're going to send some random latina chick a FB request? Relax Tiger, save some for us.
No. 16
Footballguy
Send her a message if to ask if she wants to hang out?
Gr00vus
Footballguy
If you really want to meet her, I'd probably do it old school and see if you can't get a contact (not facebook, but her phone number) via your friend who knew the birthday girl. Just be direct, something like you hit it off with the latina chick and would like to get in touch.Send her a message if to ask if she wants to hang out?
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Jojo the circus boy
Footballguy
Dr. Awesome
Footballguy
Tracking people down is half the reason facebook exists. Worst case she thinks you're creepy and it goes nowhere. And you can always send her a message along the lines of "It was nice meeting you, I'm glad our mutual friends brought me to the party - I had a blast. Happy belated birthday!"
That kind of facebook adding is really common and it shouldn't raise any alarms. For christsakes, you were at her birthday party and have some mutual friends. Adding her is fine.
Also, tell the spinner you'll take her skydiving another time if she plays her cards right. Throw in a smilie and tell her you like a girl with a sense of adventure. Shoot her a text tomorrow. It's fine to do the double communicate since you kind of bailed on the last round of messaging (if I read it right you ended the texting then called her once, yes?). And stick to texting instead of calling. There's no need to talk to set up a date. And the others are right - dinner AND a game? Slow down, slick. She's one of the many. Skip the dinner stuff. You need to get in this mindset asap if you're going to start dating around - NO DINNERS. Second date, maybe. Third date sure thing. If she starts saying she's hungry then buy her a hot dog. If she says she wants some dinner then you tell her you'd best wrap up the evening so she can get home to grab a bite. NO DINNER. Every regular from the i-dating thread will agree on that point. You hear me? No first date dinner. Ever. It's a mistake on oh so many levels.
That kind of facebook adding is really common and it shouldn't raise any alarms. For christsakes, you were at her birthday party and have some mutual friends. Adding her is fine.
Also, tell the spinner you'll take her skydiving another time if she plays her cards right. Throw in a smilie and tell her you like a girl with a sense of adventure. Shoot her a text tomorrow. It's fine to do the double communicate since you kind of bailed on the last round of messaging (if I read it right you ended the texting then called her once, yes?). And stick to texting instead of calling. There's no need to talk to set up a date. And the others are right - dinner AND a game? Slow down, slick. She's one of the many. Skip the dinner stuff. You need to get in this mindset asap if you're going to start dating around - NO DINNERS. Second date, maybe. Third date sure thing. If she starts saying she's hungry then buy her a hot dog. If she says she wants some dinner then you tell her you'd best wrap up the evening so she can get home to grab a bite. NO DINNER. Every regular from the i-dating thread will agree on that point. You hear me? No first date dinner. Ever. It's a mistake on oh so many levels.
STEADYMOBBIN 22
Footballguy
Awwww, that's just crazy talk!!!!!Send her a message if to ask if she wants to hang out?
Dr. Awesome
Footballguy
Just respond. There's little downside to prompt replies (and a lot of upside). If she takes too long to agree to a date then you can say your weekend is already booked.
Not wanting to hijack, but someone's going to have to explain this dinner thing to me, please.
Monsieur Meursault
Footballguy
Looks to me as though No. 16 is reeking of desperation, no?
Not saying the guy shouldn't go out and have a good time, but let things happen naturally. It seems as though No. 16 is forcing things a bit too much.
Not saying the guy shouldn't go out and have a good time, but let things happen naturally. It seems as though No. 16 is forcing things a bit too much.
IvanKaramazov
Footballguy
Dr. Awesome
Footballguy
For starters, if you're planning on dating around then dinners can add up quickly. You're young and single. Save the cash for more booze and wooing latinas. You should have lots of first dates - most of them won't go anywhere (nor will you want them to, for various reasons). Dinners also lock you into something generally more strict and time consuming. What if she's boring? Fat? Ugly? Brings her kids? Orders her steak well done? Keep it something that you can bail on quickly or keep it something totally fun so if she's boring you'll still have a blast.
If you're an older guy not looking to 'play the field' then dinners are fine. It almost becomes an expected formality. But if you're under 30 there's definitely no need for it.
If you're an older guy not looking to 'play the field' then dinners are fine. It almost becomes an expected formality. But if you're under 30 there's definitely no need for it.
IvanKaramazov
Footballguy
That makes sense. Thanks for the explanation for us old, married guys.
Uruk-Hai
Footballguy
For myself, dinner on the 1st date creates an odd dynamic. You're locked in for a certain amount of time (same with going to a game). There is NO other focus than the two of you and, while that may sound romantic, it tends to put pressure on one or both right off the bat. There's also the added pressure of "who's paying for what? is he paying for everything? will I offend him/her if I try to pay my share?", etc... These may sound silly, but they're real. Most people are uncomfortable on 1st dates anyway, and adding pressure - real or perceived - just increases the unease. A drink and maybe an appetizer (if things are going well) is the best, IMO.Oh, and no movies either on the first!
McBokonon
Footballguy
If you manage to track her down, make sure to bring her a Sharpie for her eyebrows.
Yeah, very interesting. Dinner AND a movie was always the first date back in my day.
E-Z Glider
Footballguy
Things seem so easy nowadays. Facebook. Texting. No Dinners. Cell phones boobie pics. I want a do over. 
ldmanrant: 
ldmanrant:
No. 16
Footballguy
So I was getting drunk with my friends when I got the last text. So no reply yet because it is 6 am over here. I'll text her around 9ish. Telling her the plan that I'll pick her up Friday for the Warriors game.
I know someone said it seems like i'm forcing things and I am but as long as the women don't sense that too much that's fine.I'm in the school of thought of nothing ventured, nothing gained. I'm not afraid of rejection. Plus, I think women like to be woo'd/chased. You have to be very rich or supermodel handsome to have women approach you. Otherwise it's up to guys to make the first move and let them know you're interested. Right now I'm taking the shotgun approach to finding a girl I can bone. Not looking for any relationships here.
Also what the #### do i do on a first date if dinner and a movie is out of play?
I know someone said it seems like i'm forcing things and I am but as long as the women don't sense that too much that's fine.I'm in the school of thought of nothing ventured, nothing gained. I'm not afraid of rejection. Plus, I think women like to be woo'd/chased. You have to be very rich or supermodel handsome to have women approach you. Otherwise it's up to guys to make the first move and let them know you're interested. Right now I'm taking the shotgun approach to finding a girl I can bone. Not looking for any relationships here.
Also what the #### do i do on a first date if dinner and a movie is out of play?
That's why I like South America. In Colombia, the women woo/chase YOU!
Dr. Awesome
Footballguy
That's the ideal approach. It seems you have the right mindset. Hookah bar, regular bar, cooking class, mini-golf, wandering the beach, coffee, batting cages, bowling, ceramic painting class, ice skating, people watching, museum/aquarium, wine tasting. Something that involves alcohol is always ideal. Something physical is great as well (iirc there's some science that shows getting her adrenaline pumping is a good thing).
Grahamburn
Footballguy
What's with the dates? Are you looking for another relationship already?
You need to find loose chicks at the bar who like to drink, come back to your place for an after party, and then never want to talk to you again.
You need to find loose chicks at the bar who like to drink, come back to your place for an after party, and then never want to talk to you again.
Lehigh98
Footballguy
McBokonon
Footballguy
Exactly. Just don't use your home bar. Find a strange bar, defile it, and then move on to the next. Keep your home bar pure.
identikit
Footballguy
Hood rats.
Grahamburn
Footballguy
Indeed. They're the best. If they won't go home with you the first night, get their number and meet them for a drink later in the week. If they turn it down again, move on.Gordon Gekko posted this once. It's pretty spot on.'identikit said:
There's absolutely no reason to be taking some broad to a Warrior's game and dropping $200+ on her to get laid. Especially when you're two weeks removed from a 6 year relationship.
John Bender
Footballguy
I wouldn't be looking for anything other than first dates only for the next 3-4 years. You just got out of a relationship. If they aren't giving it up by the 3rd date...scadaddle immediately.
Yeah, it sounds like you are looking for a girlfriend instead of a lay.
Also, and don't take offense to this, stop acting like a little #####. Don't apologize for anything and quit asking her what she wants to do. Tell her what you two are doing. If she can't go, fine. Don't let it ruin your night. Go have fun with your friends and look for more tail.
Good luck.
Also, and don't take offense to this, stop acting like a little #####. Don't apologize for anything and quit asking her what she wants to do. Tell her what you two are doing. If she can't go, fine. Don't let it ruin your night. Go have fun with your friends and look for more tail.
Good luck.
identikit
Footballguy
The bolded is what you should be looking for,
Dr. Awesome
Footballguy
Meh. I'd generally say no but if it's something you're going to enjoy even if her company turns out to be a buzzkill then go for it. You do seem to have a quality mentality on this whole thing. A game is a better second date event.
No. 16
Footballguy
Haha well I have no other idea. I guess that's what my ex was complaining about.
Dr. Awesome
Footballguy
If you don't know the answer, do what you do for everything else you're clueless about - google it. Type in some variation of 'date ideas'. Pick something that sounds interesting. Voila - you are now a romantic/creative/whatever kind of guy. I know you're a big basketball fan. You didn't learn everything about that sport all on your own. Some knowledge came from playing the game. Other bits came from you reading/watching the opinion of experts in that field and are now a bit of an expert yourself. Same thing with this.
Grahamburn
Footballguy
How much is the game going to cost you? I know you've got a personal finance thread going as well. Tickets, parking, drinks, food, etc. Is this girl really worth that? It just seems more like an "I'm looking for a relationship" date. As opposed to an "I'm looking to get laid" date. I'd rather hit the game with some friends that enjoy basketball on a Friday night. Meet some different girls there before/during/after.
Spike
Footballguy
This is good advice. If there are improvements in you that you want to make, make them so you'll be a better you going forward. But this relationship is done. Just move on. Remember the good and bad, but move on.There's no "revenge" to be had, just life to be lived. Your alarm clock just went off, so get going.
DA RAIDERS
Footballguy
Go to the game with your boys. Troll for whores there. Meet her afterwards at a bar. Attempt the sechs. If it doesn't happen, move on.
