pats3in4
Footballguy
Update 9/26/14 (post 613): Getting divorced
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Wife: (yelling at me)
Me: "Please stop yelling. You're going to wake the kids and we promised we wouldn't do this for their sake."
Wife: (yelling at me)
5yr old daughter (entering the kitchen): "You guys are being too loud."
Me: "Sorry, sweetie. We'll quiet down, we promise." (she goes back to bed)
Wife: (continues to yell at me)
Me: "Seriously, this has to stop. Come on, the kids can hear this."
Wife: "Fine. I'm going to my folks' house to get away from you."
A few minutes pass while she packs a small overnight bag, then returns to put on her shoes and get the car keys...
Me: "When you're ready to talk and not yell, I'm ready to talk, too."
Wife: "Shut the f*** up!"
Me: "Hey! What the..."
Wife: "Shut the f*** up!"
Me: "Yeah, I think you need to go."
Wife leaves. Wife calls house 90 minutes later to "talk"...
Wife: (major pissed-off tone) "Okay, I'm ready to talk. Are you?"
Me: "To talk, yes. To yell and tell me to..."
Wife: "Stop! You said when I'm ready to talk then you're ready to talk to. Now there are conditions?"
Me: "You told me to shut the f*** up. Twice. I'm not ready..."
Wife: "Ohhh! So you only want to talk on *your* terms, huh?"
Wife then goes on angry rant about how I'm trying to be controlling.
Me: (trying to interject during her angry monologue) "Okay, you're clearly not ready to have a real discussion so let's just talk about this another time."
Wife continues rant.
Me: "Okay, I'm hanging up now. We'll talk another time. Get some sleep."
Wife continues rant. I hang up phone. Wife calls back 30 second later.
Wife: "Ohhh! So it's okay to hang up on me?!? That's so rude!"
Me: "I tried telling you, but you wouldn't listen or let me get in a single word."
Wife restarts rant.
Me: "Seriously, this is going nowhere. You're so angry you're just ranting away. I'm hanging up again. Please don't call back. We'll talk tomorrow."
Wife continues rant. I hang up again. Wife calls 10 seconds later, we repeat the sequence of the 2nd call. After this time, I unplug the phones and answering machine and put my cell on silent ringer.
Wife came home this morning and is pissed. Hasn't said a word to me all day, except giving me short answers to questions about the kids. I really don't want to talk to her because she knows the shut the f*** ups are out of bounds, yet won't acknowledge that.
This has been going on and off for 12 years of marriage, amped up quite a bit the last few years with the birth of our last child and the stress of being a stay-at-home-mom with 3 kids under 9. The potential for these kinds of blowups hovers over every misunderstanding or disagreement...like playing marital russian roulette. We've talked about these blowups so many times. So many promises that she'll work on them. So many broken promises. I've suggested couples counseling multiple times. She refuses. We found a great website by a marital counselor that has helped us work through a lot of these issues and were doing well for about 5 weeks, but now this.
Any real feedback is appreciated. Anybody who has similar experiences to share and how you and your spouse worked through them is appreciated. Multiple responses with a simple "nomarriage.com" will be noted, if not appreciated My job tends to keep me busy, so I may find it difficult to reply to any posts in a timely manner.
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Wife: (yelling at me)
Me: "Please stop yelling. You're going to wake the kids and we promised we wouldn't do this for their sake."
Wife: (yelling at me)
5yr old daughter (entering the kitchen): "You guys are being too loud."
Me: "Sorry, sweetie. We'll quiet down, we promise." (she goes back to bed)
Wife: (continues to yell at me)
Me: "Seriously, this has to stop. Come on, the kids can hear this."
Wife: "Fine. I'm going to my folks' house to get away from you."
A few minutes pass while she packs a small overnight bag, then returns to put on her shoes and get the car keys...
Me: "When you're ready to talk and not yell, I'm ready to talk, too."
Wife: "Shut the f*** up!"
Me: "Hey! What the..."
Wife: "Shut the f*** up!"
Me: "Yeah, I think you need to go."
Wife leaves. Wife calls house 90 minutes later to "talk"...
Wife: (major pissed-off tone) "Okay, I'm ready to talk. Are you?"
Me: "To talk, yes. To yell and tell me to..."
Wife: "Stop! You said when I'm ready to talk then you're ready to talk to. Now there are conditions?"
Me: "You told me to shut the f*** up. Twice. I'm not ready..."
Wife: "Ohhh! So you only want to talk on *your* terms, huh?"
Wife then goes on angry rant about how I'm trying to be controlling.
Me: (trying to interject during her angry monologue) "Okay, you're clearly not ready to have a real discussion so let's just talk about this another time."
Wife continues rant.
Me: "Okay, I'm hanging up now. We'll talk another time. Get some sleep."
Wife continues rant. I hang up phone. Wife calls back 30 second later.
Wife: "Ohhh! So it's okay to hang up on me?!? That's so rude!"
Me: "I tried telling you, but you wouldn't listen or let me get in a single word."
Wife restarts rant.
Me: "Seriously, this is going nowhere. You're so angry you're just ranting away. I'm hanging up again. Please don't call back. We'll talk tomorrow."
Wife continues rant. I hang up again. Wife calls 10 seconds later, we repeat the sequence of the 2nd call. After this time, I unplug the phones and answering machine and put my cell on silent ringer.
Wife came home this morning and is pissed. Hasn't said a word to me all day, except giving me short answers to questions about the kids. I really don't want to talk to her because she knows the shut the f*** ups are out of bounds, yet won't acknowledge that.
This has been going on and off for 12 years of marriage, amped up quite a bit the last few years with the birth of our last child and the stress of being a stay-at-home-mom with 3 kids under 9. The potential for these kinds of blowups hovers over every misunderstanding or disagreement...like playing marital russian roulette. We've talked about these blowups so many times. So many promises that she'll work on them. So many broken promises. I've suggested couples counseling multiple times. She refuses. We found a great website by a marital counselor that has helped us work through a lot of these issues and were doing well for about 5 weeks, but now this.
Any real feedback is appreciated. Anybody who has similar experiences to share and how you and your spouse worked through them is appreciated. Multiple responses with a simple "nomarriage.com" will be noted, if not appreciated My job tends to keep me busy, so I may find it difficult to reply to any posts in a timely manner.
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