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timschochet

Lies About Hitler

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While rowing he once saw a stranger and a dog drowning. He continued without helping any of them

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Did not believe in soup kitchens or any human related charities. Instead threw raw meat to local feral cats.

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Hitler's copyright infringement lawsuit against Iran for copying "the whole Jew thing" was tossed out of court. 

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17 hours ago, Leroy Hoard said:

I never realized that this started out as a serious thread.  Well at least for one post.

I'm not sure what you mean by "started out as".

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18 hours ago, Leroy Hoard said:

I never realized that this started out as a serious thread.  Well at least for one post.

It was a Tim thread and deserved to be pulled off the rails.

:tfp:

Edited by Tom Servo
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Hitler did not think this topic deserved to be pulled off the rails.

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Hitler designed the test forum but only for 3 digit members.

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21 minutes ago, CGRdrJoe said:

Hitler designed the test forum but only for 3 digit members.

But only if they came by their 3 digit member number naturally.  If you purchased it, you were worse than...UMMMM...

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43 minutes ago, Tom Servo said:

But only if they came by their 3 digit member number naturally.  If you purchased it, you were worse than...UMMMM...

The Houston Astros?

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Hitler launched Blitzkrieg on Poland to prevent an imminent attack

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Hitler's last command to his army before he realized it was over was to "Run the fake punt on 4th and 4."  When that failed, he shot himself in the bunker.

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Hitler gave vegetarians a bad name

Dammit, that's for the "Truth about Hitler thread"

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Hitler was extremely upset about the lack of gender and racial representation in Oscar nominations, and he let everyone on social media know about it.

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1 hour ago, IvanKaramazov said:

Hitler was extremely upset about the lack of gender and racial representation in Oscar nominations, and he let everyone on social media know about it.

He was also sad when Cory Booker dropped out, citing the same reasons.

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Was unaware that Cory Booker dropped out of the Presidential race because the Oscars lacked gender and racial representation.

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Hitler thought he was funny because after the College Football Championship game, he'd tell everyone , "I knew the Tigers would win."

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6 hours ago, TheIronSheik said:

Hitler preferred dry roasted peanuts to cocktail peanuts.

So he did have some redeeming features.

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Hitler walked around with a " Kiss Me, It's My Birthday" button on at least three times a year. 

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Is in the running to replace Sandi Toksvig as host of "The Great British Bake Off", since the producers still have so many short jokes left to use.

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3 hours ago, Buckychudd said:

So he did have some redeeming features.

And Mussolini made the trains run on time.  Probably sold dry roasted peanuts on those trains.

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Hilter wore a Broncos jersey to a Raiders home game. 

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12 hours ago, Leroy Hoard said:

And Mussolini made the trains run on time.  Probably sold dry roasted peanuts on those trains.

Hitler was so jealous.

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Hitler put a buzzer on Himmler to let him know when a fastball was coming. 

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1 hour ago, TheIronSheik said:

Hitler put a buzzer on Himmler to let him know when a fastball was coming. 

Even Himmler wouldn't have gone along with that.

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1 hour ago, TheIronSheik said:

Hitler put a buzzer on Himmler to let him know when a fastball was coming. 

 

4 minutes ago, Bull Dozier said:

Even Himmler wouldn't have gone along with that.

:goodposting:  There are some lines even the Nazis won't cross. 

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Hitler didn't like a big fuss made over his birthday, but Eva Braun INSISTED on having cake and coffee.  She just had to make sure Albert Speer was invited.

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Has drafted Pau and Marc Gasol in round 1 and 2 of every fantasy basketball draft for 13 years running. 

Edited by neal cassady

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Always felt that the Patriots should share some of the blame for all of the murders he committed.

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Hitler was always jealous of Hermann Göring because of his being able to pull stunts and get away with it. Hermann used his good looks and acted like the bad boy the teachers loved.  Everything he did got blamed on Hitler and resulted in many trips to the principal's office.

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Certainly never tried to flush anything 10 or 15 times. The water pressure was fine, up to the end

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Really, really enjoyed playing Fallout 76

Edited by msommer

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Was appalled by the Kansas - K-State basketball brawl. But he did laugh because Himmler lost the money line bet on K-State.

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On 1/17/2020 at 2:39 PM, TheIronSheik said:

Always felt that the Patriots should share some of the blame for all of the murders he committed.

Hitler knew that Aaron Hernandez was capable of murdering people in cold blood, but he didn't see what the big deal was.

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Had memory issues towards the end.   Stressed many a night that one day, he'd forget that he hated Jews.

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Because Hitler was a proto-FBG, he decided to spend the extra $750 to fly to the Italian Riviera during the day. 

ETA: He also know Goring could fly himself anywhere he wanted and was extremely jealous.

Edited by Tom Servo

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Hitler really wanted to be an artist and that's why he liked Albert Speer so much.

(Actually, that's totally true.)

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Hitler went through an insane amount of bananas in a week, but oddly no one ever saw him eating one. 

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37 minutes ago, Ditkaless Wonders said:

Sported some wicked dreadlock in high school.

But they school wouldn't let him graduate.

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2 hours ago, Skipdog77 said:

Hitler went through an insane amount of bananas in a week, but oddly no one ever saw him eating one. 

On a related note, that was the same week Eva Braun spent away at Oktoberfest.

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The Nazis promoted Hitler to GM after his horrendous loss in WWII.

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Once grabbed a fellow Nazi by the suit jacket and told him to vote for Himmler.

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