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If you are in the wrong state of mind and have considered suicide you can reach out to people anonymously in this thread, telling us why you feel this way. Just remember you aren't alone.

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I've never been there myself but I have been at a point where I can understand why people wouldn't want to wake up the next morning.

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I'll update after the Patriots-Colts game.

This isn't a topic to make jokes about.

Anyone that doesn't want to post in this thread can PM me as well. I , and many other people are here for you. Don't be afraid to speak up

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I'll update after the Patriots-Colts game.

This isn't a topic to make jokes about.

Anyone that doesn't want to post in this thread can PM me as well. I , and many other people are here for you. Don't be afraid to speak up

Who says it was a joke?

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I'll update after the Patriots-Colts game.

This isn't a topic to make jokes about.

Anyone that doesn't want to post in this thread can PM me as well. I , and many other people are here for you. Don't be afraid to speak up

Who says it was a joke?

Still with us buddy ?

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I'll update after the Patriots-Colts game.

This isn't a topic to make jokes about.

Anyone that doesn't want to post in this thread can PM me as well. I , and many other people are here for you. Don't be afraid to speak up

Who says it was a joke?

Still with us buddy ?

For now. :(

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I'll update after the Patriots-Colts game.

:lol: Also, why suicide. Homocide would make more sense. :doh::D

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To those that consider it I have a story to share -

about 8 years ago I started experiencing panic attacks out of the blue. The first one I had, i thought I was dying of a heart attack. Well that was the precursor to a several month fight which drug me through hell and back. The anxiety led to mind racing which led to insomnia - but not normal insomnia, we are talking days on end insomnia. Every night, could not sleep - would lay down and never sleep. No appetitie and pounds were falling off. Went ot a doc and they coul dfind nothing wrong so they started experimenting with various slepeing agents...still nothing worked. Then they figured I must be bipolar so they put me on Lithium - still no effect. By this time it was literally no sleep and your mind starts playing tricks on you - wouldn't it be easy just to end the suffering by swerving into a median on the way to work? After a couple of thes types of thoughts I checked myself into the ER. They shot me up with Valium - telling my wife don't worry be gave him enough to knock out a rhino. They kept me for observation for a few hours and released me back home - but instead of sleeping for days I was wide awake again within 3 hours of arriving home. Then it seemed to even get worse because now not only was I not sleeping but I was panicking about not being able to sleep and I knew the body needed to sleep but mine wouldn't. So one Monday morning I packed a blanket and a pillow in the back of my car and grabbed all of the meds they had tried on me. I got a couple bottles of water to wash it all down and then drove to a secluded forest area twenty miles or so from town. I then proceeded to take every pill I had and waited to drift off into a sleep I would never wake up from.

Work called my wife asking where I was about noon that day - she called the police a little later and they came over to the house. Whne they got there they told her they wanted to check the garge but they didn't want her there. They thought I might have killed myself in the garage. People from work began searching for me in the local area, but I was nowhere to be found.

About 5 pm I come to my wake up from a stupor and realize what terrible choice I made. I am groggy but feeling no pain. I drive home to a panicked household. What followed was a brief n patinet stay in a psych ward where they realized I wasn't "crazy' and after severla days realized I had a condition called cyclothymia. It is a condition where cyclically you enter a manic state withoout the depressive state. Through the correct medication it was eventually manageable and now all these years later I am healthy and know the warning signs and how to control the condition.

Why do I tell this story? I am a good guy with a beautiful family a great job and a lot to live for. But, in the depths of my illness I thought ending it all was my only way out. Had I been successful I would have missed out on my oldest daughter graduating for high school and college, getitng her first job, getting engaged....I woul dhave misse dout on my oldest son graduating from high and going off to college. I would not have been there when by now 16 year old went throuhg a rough patch of anxiety disorder where I was able to help him through it with my experiences. I would have missed my 3rd son playing baseball and all of his accomplishments. I would have missed my youngest son growing into the fine young man he has become. I would have left my wife alone to raise our kids without a dad. And I would have missed out on the lives of all the other people thta come to find out I had touched in some way.

The point? Suicide is never the answer. It creates more problems than any it might "solve". Talk to someone. Get help. Don't think you are alone or what you are going through is some burden that no one else could bear. Find someone to help you bear it. Things get better.

Peace out.

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To those that consider it I have a story to share -

about 8 years ago I started experiencing panic attacks out of the blue. The first one I had, i thought I was dying of a heart attack. Well that was the precursor to a several month fight which drug me through hell and back. The anxiety led to mind racing which led to insomnia - but not normal insomnia, we are talking days on end insomnia. Every night, could not sleep - would lay down and never sleep. No appetitie and pounds were falling off. Went ot a doc and they coul dfind nothing wrong so they started experimenting with various slepeing agents...still nothing worked. Then they figured I must be bipolar so they put me on Lithium - still no effect. By this time it was literally no sleep and your mind starts playing tricks on you - wouldn't it be easy just to end the suffering by swerving into a median on the way to work? After a couple of thes types of thoughts I checked myself into the ER. They shot me up with Valium - telling my wife don't worry be gave him enough to knock out a rhino. They kept me for observation for a few hours and released me back home - but instead of sleeping for days I was wide awake again within 3 hours of arriving home. Then it seemed to even get worse because now not only was I not sleeping but I was panicking about not being able to sleep and I knew the body needed to sleep but mine wouldn't. So one Monday morning I packed a blanket and a pillow in the back of my car and grabbed all of the meds they had tried on me. I got a couple bottles of water to wash it all down and then drove to a secluded forest area twenty miles or so from town. I then proceeded to take every pill I had and waited to drift off into a sleep I would never wake up from.

Work called my wife asking where I was about noon that day - she called the police a little later and they came over to the house. Whne they got there they told her they wanted to check the garge but they didn't want her there. They thought I might have killed myself in the garage. People from work began searching for me in the local area, but I was nowhere to be found.

About 5 pm I come to my wake up from a stupor and realize what terrible choice I made. I am groggy but feeling no pain. I drive home to a panicked household. What followed was a brief n patinet stay in a psych ward where they realized I wasn't "crazy' and after severla days realized I had a condition called cyclothymia. It is a condition where cyclically you enter a manic state withoout the depressive state. Through the correct medication it was eventually manageable and now all these years later I am healthy and know the warning signs and how to control the condition.

Why do I tell this story? I am a good guy with a beautiful family a great job and a lot to live for. But, in the depths of my illness I thought ending it all was my only way out. Had I been successful I would have missed out on my oldest daughter graduating for high school and college, getitng her first job, getting engaged....I woul dhave misse dout on my oldest son graduating from high and going off to college. I would not have been there when by now 16 year old went throuhg a rough patch of anxiety disorder where I was able to help him through it with my experiences. I would have missed my 3rd son playing baseball and all of his accomplishments. I would have missed my youngest son growing into the fine young man he has become. I would have left my wife alone to raise our kids without a dad. And I would have missed out on the lives of all the other people thta come to find out I had touched in some way.

The point? Suicide is never the answer. It creates more problems than any it might "solve". Talk to someone. Get help. Don't think you are alone or what you are going through is some burden that no one else could bear. Find someone to help you bear it. Things get better.

Peace out.

wow. Im glad you were able to get a handle on things. thanks for sharing. good info for others who may be going through something.

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The point? Suicide is never the answer.

:no: Eh, I get what your saying, but I think you're wrong here. If I have a nasty terminal illness, I'm putting myself and my family out of misery.

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The point? Suicide is never the answer.

:no: Eh, I get what your saying, but I think you're wrong here. If I have a nasty terminal illness, I'm putting myself and my family out of misery.

Yeah - I see your point but I kind of differentiate that type of exit from the one where you actually have a shot at overcoming. The dying with dignity trumps my previous absolute statement.

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I remember a late night thread back on ol yeller that someone started who was about to do it. A bunch of us, Joe B being one, did our best to talk him out of it. We never knew if we succeeded but it seemed like we got through to him. It was one of the first threads here in the FFA that had a real impact on me and made me realize the power of a message board.

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I'll update after the Patriots-Colts game.

:lol: Also, why suicide. Homocide would make more sense. :doh::D

Depends on if I'm in a room full of Broncos fans next week.

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I'll update after the Patriots-Colts game.

:lol: Also, why suicide. Homocide would make more sense. :doh::D

Depends on if I'm in a room full of Broncos fans next week.

49ers/Seahawks here. Oy. Gonna be a tough one for 49ers!

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I'll update after the Patriots-Colts game.

:lol: Also, why suicide. Homocide would make more sense. :doh::D

Depends on if I'm in a room full of Broncos fans next week.

49ers/Seahawks here. Oy. Gonna be a tough one for 49ers!

Maybe we can meet up in the Superbowl? Commit a homicide? ;)

Edited by tikigods

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To those that consider it I have a story to share -

about 8 years ago I started experiencing panic attacks out of the blue. The first one I had, i thought I was dying of a heart attack. Well that was the precursor to a several month fight which drug me through hell and back. The anxiety led to mind racing which led to insomnia - but not normal insomnia, we are talking days on end insomnia. Every night, could not sleep - would lay down and never sleep. No appetitie and pounds were falling off. Went ot a doc and they coul dfind nothing wrong so they started experimenting with various slepeing agents...still nothing worked. Then they figured I must be bipolar so they put me on Lithium - still no effect. By this time it was literally no sleep and your mind starts playing tricks on you - wouldn't it be easy just to end the suffering by swerving into a median on the way to work? After a couple of thes types of thoughts I checked myself into the ER. They shot me up with Valium - telling my wife don't worry be gave him enough to knock out a rhino. They kept me for observation for a few hours and released me back home - but instead of sleeping for days I was wide awake again within 3 hours of arriving home. Then it seemed to even get worse because now not only was I not sleeping but I was panicking about not being able to sleep and I knew the body needed to sleep but mine wouldn't. So one Monday morning I packed a blanket and a pillow in the back of my car and grabbed all of the meds they had tried on me. I got a couple bottles of water to wash it all down and then drove to a secluded forest area twenty miles or so from town. I then proceeded to take every pill I had and waited to drift off into a sleep I would never wake up from.

Work called my wife asking where I was about noon that day - she called the police a little later and they came over to the house. Whne they got there they told her they wanted to check the garge but they didn't want her there. They thought I might have killed myself in the garage. People from work began searching for me in the local area, but I was nowhere to be found.

About 5 pm I come to my wake up from a stupor and realize what terrible choice I made. I am groggy but feeling no pain. I drive home to a panicked household. What followed was a brief n patinet stay in a psych ward where they realized I wasn't "crazy' and after severla days realized I had a condition called cyclothymia. It is a condition where cyclically you enter a manic state withoout the depressive state. Through the correct medication it was eventually manageable and now all these years later I am healthy and know the warning signs and how to control the condition.

Why do I tell this story? I am a good guy with a beautiful family a great job and a lot to live for. But, in the depths of my illness I thought ending it all was my only way out. Had I been successful I would have missed out on my oldest daughter graduating for high school and college, getitng her first job, getting engaged....I woul dhave misse dout on my oldest son graduating from high and going off to college. I would not have been there when by now 16 year old went throuhg a rough patch of anxiety disorder where I was able to help him through it with my experiences. I would have missed my 3rd son playing baseball and all of his accomplishments. I would have missed my youngest son growing into the fine young man he has become. I would have left my wife alone to raise our kids without a dad. And I would have missed out on the lives of all the other people thta come to find out I had touched in some way.

The point? Suicide is never the answer. It creates more problems than any it might "solve". Talk to someone. Get help. Don't think you are alone or what you are going through is some burden that no one else could bear. Find someone to help you bear it. Things get better.

Peace out.

Some people have been to dark places om meds. I have too. Jeckyll and Hyde. My right arm would feel like I hit my funny bone when I stopped the meds.

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I have a family member who committed suicide. They have no idea of the trauma and turmoil that they leave behind.

Most selfish thing that you can do.

Edited by seahawk 17

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I have a family member who committed suicide. They have no idea of the trauma and turmoil that they leave behind.

Most selfish thing that you can do.

I think for most that actually go through with it, it's about getting the pain to stop. Walk in another's shoes, sometimes it's harder than you realize.

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I have a family member who committed suicide. They have no idea of the trauma and turmoil that they leave behind.

Most selfish thing that you can do.

I think for most that actually go through with it, it's about getting the pain to stop. Walk in another's shoes, sometimes it's harder than you realize.

Brother ?

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Some people have been to dark places om meds. I have too. Jeckyll and Hyde. My right arm would feel like I hit my funny bone when I stopped the meds.

Please go back on them.

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I have a family member who committed suicide. They have no idea of the trauma and turmoil that they leave behind.

Most selfish thing that you can do.

I think for most that actually go through with it, it's about getting the pain to stop. Walk in another's shoes, sometimes it's harder than you realize.

Brother ?

Well, you and I know who this guy is.

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I have a family member who committed suicide. They have no idea of the trauma and turmoil that they leave behind.

Most selfish thing that you can do.

This is true however when you are in such pain, you don't care about that.. Which is why you should never let the suicidal person keep themselves isolated. People tend to pull away from people who are depressing and not take what they say seriously. In majority of the cases, you need to be listening to that person. I'm dealing with this in my fam too with my uncle who gets suicidal, who is also an alcoholic so it's harder to want to be around. But I know if we don't keep him a part of the fam that he will do it. He may do it anyway but I have no doubt we are at least keeping him up enough to where he still finds something in life worth living for right now.

Edited by CurlyNight

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I have a family member who committed suicide. They have no idea of the trauma and turmoil that they leave behind.

Most selfish thing that you can do.

This is true. Which is why you should never let the suicidal person keep themselves isolated. People tend to pull away from people who are depressing and not take what they say seriously. Unfortunately in majority of the cases, you need to be listening to that person. I'm dealing with this in my fam too with my uncle who gets suicidal, who is also an alcoholic so it's harder to want to be around. But I know if we don't keep him a part of the fam that he will do it. He may do it anyway but I have no doubt we are at least keeping him up enough to where he still finds something in life worth living for.

Alcohol and shame are hand in hand with suicide.

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There is a point where the darkness you have heard of in hushed tones, in passing is a reality. When you sleep with a Bible on your chest. It's horrifying.

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I have a family member who committed suicide. They have no idea of the trauma and turmoil that they leave behind.

Most selfish thing that you can do.

This is true however when you are in such pain, you don't care about that.. Which is why you should never let the suicidal person keep themselves isolated. People tend to pull away from people who are depressing and not take what they say seriously. In majority of the cases, you need to be listening to that person. I'm dealing with this in my fam too with my uncle who gets suicidal, who is also an alcoholic so it's harder to want to be around. But I know if we don't keep him a part of the fam that he will do it. He may do it anyway but I have no doubt we are at least keeping him up enough to where he still finds something in life worth living for right now.

If someone is truly suicidal and wants to kill themselves, do you really think there is anything a person can do to stop it?

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There are degrees with everything. Same as sunburn. I gather a person could lay in the sun until they blister, but most would stop them somehow if that was their intent.

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You are fat, you have Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers. Where is the out if you are suicidal?

Edited by Geezil

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Why are most so quiet when they are suicidal? Dissortate. What is the out for them? Where is the room they get to go to? Is there an S.A.?

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I've never liked the word "selfish" to go along with suicide. I get where you're coming from, but saying that isn't taking into account the very altered brain state of the suicidal. There's a whole lot of stuff going on up there that most of us will never feel or understand or go through, especially regarding chemical balances. They don't think the same way we do.

Edited by ShamrockPride
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I attempted it once ten years ago and have had it on my mind constantly my entire life. Anxiety, depression and tourettes syndrome has made my life miserable 98% of the time. The only reason I dont do it now is I found a girlfriend who accepts my faults

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To those that consider it I have a story to share -

about 8 years ago I started experiencing panic attacks out of the blue. The first one I had, i thought I was dying of a heart attack. Well that was the precursor to a several month fight which drug me through hell and back. The anxiety led to mind racing which led to insomnia - but not normal insomnia, we are talking days on end insomnia. Every night, could not sleep - would lay down and never sleep. No appetitie and pounds were falling off. Went ot a doc and they coul dfind nothing wrong so they started experimenting with various slepeing agents...still nothing worked. Then they figured I must be bipolar so they put me on Lithium - still no effect. By this time it was literally no sleep and your mind starts playing tricks on you - wouldn't it be easy just to end the suffering by swerving into a median on the way to work? After a couple of thes types of thoughts I checked myself into the ER. They shot me up with Valium - telling my wife don't worry be gave him enough to knock out a rhino. They kept me for observation for a few hours and released me back home - but instead of sleeping for days I was wide awake again within 3 hours of arriving home. Then it seemed to even get worse because now not only was I not sleeping but I was panicking about not being able to sleep and I knew the body needed to sleep but mine wouldn't. So one Monday morning I packed a blanket and a pillow in the back of my car and grabbed all of the meds they had tried on me. I got a couple bottles of water to wash it all down and then drove to a secluded forest area twenty miles or so from town. I then proceeded to take every pill I had and waited to drift off into a sleep I would never wake up from.

Work called my wife asking where I was about noon that day - she called the police a little later and they came over to the house. Whne they got there they told her they wanted to check the garge but they didn't want her there. They thought I might have killed myself in the garage. People from work began searching for me in the local area, but I was nowhere to be found.

About 5 pm I come to my wake up from a stupor and realize what terrible choice I made. I am groggy but feeling no pain. I drive home to a panicked household. What followed was a brief n patinet stay in a psych ward where they realized I wasn't "crazy' and after severla days realized I had a condition called cyclothymia. It is a condition where cyclically you enter a manic state withoout the depressive state. Through the correct medication it was eventually manageable and now all these years later I am healthy and know the warning signs and how to control the condition.

Why do I tell this story? I am a good guy with a beautiful family a great job and a lot to live for. But, in the depths of my illness I thought ending it all was my only way out. Had I been successful I would have missed out on my oldest daughter graduating for high school and college, getitng her first job, getting engaged....I woul dhave misse dout on my oldest son graduating from high and going off to college. I would not have been there when by now 16 year old went throuhg a rough patch of anxiety disorder where I was able to help him through it with my experiences. I would have missed my 3rd son playing baseball and all of his accomplishments. I would have missed my youngest son growing into the fine young man he has become. I would have left my wife alone to raise our kids without a dad. And I would have missed out on the lives of all the other people thta come to find out I had touched in some way.

The point? Suicide is never the answer. It creates more problems than any it might "solve". Talk to someone. Get help. Don't think you are alone or what you are going through is some burden that no one else could bear. Find someone to help you bear it. Things get better.

Peace out.

My parents' good friend committed suicide while on medication in his 60's. I'd met him a bunch of times; just a good guy, healthy, happy, laughing. It was just stunning to everybody. I am blown away by the ease with which psychiatrists will prescribe medication for depression, anxiety, etc. I know from personal experience that the cure can be worse than the cancer. I'm glad you made it through, GB. Blessings to you.

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You are fat, you have Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers. Where is the out if you are suicidal?

There's obviously none as every person that's ever been suicidal went through with it.

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I remember a late night thread back on ol yeller that someone started who was about to do it. A bunch of us, Joe B being one, did our best to talk him out of it. We never knew if we succeeded but it seemed like we got through to him. It was one of the first threads here in the FFA that had a real impact on me and made me realize the power of a message board.

It was a user named Unknown Soldier. Shick got a hold of him on the phone and he stayed with us.

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I have a family member who committed suicide. They have no idea of the trauma and turmoil that they leave behind.

Most selfish thing that you can do.

This is true however when you are in such pain, you don't care about that.. Which is why you should never let the suicidal person keep themselves isolated. People tend to pull away from people who are depressing and not take what they say seriously. In majority of the cases, you need to be listening to that person. I'm dealing with this in my fam too with my uncle who gets suicidal, who is also an alcoholic so it's harder to want to be around. But I know if we don't keep him a part of the fam that he will do it. He may do it anyway but I have no doubt we are at least keeping him up enough to where he still finds something in life worth living for right now.

If someone is truly suicidal and wants to kill themselves, do you really think there is anything a person can do to stop it?

No if you wait until it's almost too late to try and reach them. Like I said, they may kill themselves eventually but at least they stand a chance if they feels at least someone really cares about them. All suicidals feel very alone and are very depressed. They are isolated even further because people get tired of it all and stop being around them. Let that person simmer that way long enough and it very well could happen. One big treatment for depression is to get that person out of his home and out of being alone so much.

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To those that consider it I have a story to share -

about 8 years ago I started experiencing panic attacks out of the blue. The first one I had, i thought I was dying of a heart attack. Well that was the precursor to a several month fight which drug me through hell and back. The anxiety led to mind racing which led to insomnia - but not normal insomnia, we are talking days on end insomnia. Every night, could not sleep - would lay down and never sleep. No appetitie and pounds were falling off. Went ot a doc and they coul dfind nothing wrong so they started experimenting with various slepeing agents...still nothing worked. Then they figured I must be bipolar so they put me on Lithium - still no effect. By this time it was literally no sleep and your mind starts playing tricks on you - wouldn't it be easy just to end the suffering by swerving into a median on the way to work? After a couple of thes types of thoughts I checked myself into the ER. They shot me up with Valium - telling my wife don't worry be gave him enough to knock out a rhino. They kept me for observation for a few hours and released me back home - but instead of sleeping for days I was wide awake again within 3 hours of arriving home. Then it seemed to even get worse because now not only was I not sleeping but I was panicking about not being able to sleep and I knew the body needed to sleep but mine wouldn't. So one Monday morning I packed a blanket and a pillow in the back of my car and grabbed all of the meds they had tried on me. I got a couple bottles of water to wash it all down and then drove to a secluded forest area twenty miles or so from town. I then proceeded to take every pill I had and waited to drift off into a sleep I would never wake up from.

Work called my wife asking where I was about noon that day - she called the police a little later and they came over to the house. Whne they got there they told her they wanted to check the garge but they didn't want her there. They thought I might have killed myself in the garage. People from work began searching for me in the local area, but I was nowhere to be found.

About 5 pm I come to my wake up from a stupor and realize what terrible choice I made. I am groggy but feeling no pain. I drive home to a panicked household. What followed was a brief n patinet stay in a psych ward where they realized I wasn't "crazy' and after severla days realized I had a condition called cyclothymia. It is a condition where cyclically you enter a manic state withoout the depressive state. Through the correct medication it was eventually manageable and now all these years later I am healthy and know the warning signs and how to control the condition.

Why do I tell this story? I am a good guy with a beautiful family a great job and a lot to live for. But, in the depths of my illness I thought ending it all was my only way out. Had I been successful I would have missed out on my oldest daughter graduating for high school and college, getitng her first job, getting engaged....I woul dhave misse dout on my oldest son graduating from high and going off to college. I would not have been there when by now 16 year old went throuhg a rough patch of anxiety disorder where I was able to help him through it with my experiences. I would have missed my 3rd son playing baseball and all of his accomplishments. I would have missed my youngest son growing into the fine young man he has become. I would have left my wife alone to raise our kids without a dad. And I would have missed out on the lives of all the other people thta come to find out I had touched in some way.

The point? Suicide is never the answer. It creates more problems than any it might "solve". Talk to someone. Get help. Don't think you are alone or what you are going through is some burden that no one else could bear. Find someone to help you bear it. Things get better.

Peace out.

My parents' good friend committed suicide while on medication in his 60's. I'd met him a bunch of times; just a good guy, healthy, happy, laughing. It was just stunning to everybody. I am blown away by the ease with which psychiatrists will prescribe medication for depression, anxiety, etc. I know from personal experience that the cure can be worse than the cancer. I'm glad you made it through, GB. Blessings to you.

Medication is not a cure and it does help, assuming you are on the right one and have the correct diagnosis. It takes a lot of trial and error to find the one that works well for you. That's what sucks about psychiatric meds is unlike meds for physical ailments (for the most part), you have to try this and thats before hopefully you find that works. The question is was he getting therapy or was he just handed pills.

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You sound like an expert. No simmering and refer to them as suicidals and show you care by smothering them somehow with attention.

You should write a book. I wouldn't read it.

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I have a family member who committed suicide. They have no idea of the trauma and turmoil that they leave behind.

Most selfish thing that you can do.

I think for most that actually go through with it, it's about getting the pain to stop. Walk in another's shoes, sometimes it's harder than you realize.

Brother ?

Well, you and I know who this guy is.

Yes we do...

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Certain times in this life two words come in handy. Those two words are Zip It. And usually they are found to be handy as you might realize you have no idea what you are talking about.

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I went to NAMI meetings for seven years. You wanna know what I got out of it, seven long years, you wanna know what I got? A caffeine addiction and a tattoo on my lower back that says NAMI with sparrow wings, it's not even a cool tattoo. So, save your advice man.

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Not sure if anybody noticed I was gone since the beginning of December.

It was because of this very topic. My 2nd attempt in 4 years. I was isolating myself, was overwhelmed with stress at work and never dealt with my sister's death a couple of months ago. Took a lot of Tylenol. Not a way to die. Very ugly and painful.

Ended up in the Hospital for 7 days, then in the pysch ward for another 7 days. Where, after many long talks, a great doctor diagnosed me with Bi-Polar and got me on Lithium, which has been great. Really has stabilized me.

And the last couple of weeks, I have been in a partial hospitalization group therapy (6 Hours a day Monday-Saturday). It has been pretty helpful. I am now moving to a less intensive therapy (3 hours for Mon-Thurs) starting tomorrow

I can never undo the pain I have caused my family and friends. My kids are talking to me at least, but I know they are still pissed at me. I have a lot of work to repair that relationship.

And I have a lot of sh** I need to do to fix my own life. Lot of the stuff I need to do is pretty effen scary, but I feel hope. It can work.

I have been trying to avoid my various sites because I need to work on my real life relationships and not be so much online. But for some reason I logged on here and saw the thread. So I told my story. I will disappear again for a while, but will be back for the 2014 Summer T-Shirt exchange if not sooner.

I will check PM's every other day in case somebody wants to talk about depression, Mental Illness or Suicide. I have been there and it is not worth it

And Curlynight, thanks for the link, I will check it out

Take care all

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