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What's going on here?McGarnicle said:These are a few of my favvvvvvorite thiiiiiiings
Let him know you are there for him. There's honestly just not a lot you can say or do to make anything better. But make sure he knows that you are there if he wants to talk about things.
Tough to say what to say. We must know where we care and show it when we do. Suicide occurs when there's no place to go with pain. Make sure the people who can come to you know they can. GL -
I think the important thing is to make sure the kids know it wasn't their fault. They brought joy to his life and it was an internal demon that got the best of him.
There are no rules in this thread except to be kind and respectful to one another. Great advice given.
OK, dont follow this because it's internet forum advice but, esp if nerves are a prob for you, just ask & listen. Actually listen, like you want to figure out how she works. Don't look at her like she's a bug or anything but, for a few hours anyway, most people are interesting, so listen. Takes the nerves off like nuttin.
Perfect. You won't have to worry about convo during the concert. Better than let's do drinks or coffee as a first outing while learning to navigate the social scene better.
ask questions. listen. ask more questions based on what she tells you. answer questions if asked.
ugh... sorry about your friend.
Hopefully you can find a good solution, S_F. I believe that sleep is really important with keeping things together so definitely consider seeing your doctor if you cannot get on top of your sleep issues. In the mean time, it sounds like you need a different career path. Maybe set a goal for a work transition (6 months, 1 year, 2 years, etc.). You may find having a goal set helps with the day-to-day. Also, while you have the good income, work on reducing your expenses so if your new career pays less you can handle it financially.sports_fan said:
unless you have a scenario where you NEED the money, like kids education or something or you're paying down a debt, lots of life is like a goldfish to me. Meaning you'll fit things to the size available, so with regard to money, we probably all could get by with less. But the flip side of that, is that stress will likely not be married to a job strictly and that too may follow you.sports_fan said:
Lemme ax you - family man? how tied into your identity is your profession?sports_fan said:
Have you spoken to a medical professional about this?sports_fan said:
Hey, sports_fan.sports_fan said:
If you were Shakespeare and George carlin rolled into one, your words STILL wouldn't make sense of the senseless assuming no rationale reason for the suicide( not to say illness or debt or the prospect of prison justify it but you can more readily connect those dots logically).
I just want to reiterate what many have mentioned, particularly Jayrok.sports_fan said:
I don't know if this has been asked of you, but have you been diagnosed with something and you are on meds? You mention extensive inpatient treatment. What may be happening if so is the med(s) may not be working well anymore. So many people stay on the same thing for years and years when in fact it's not working and a visit to the doc to help sort it out is in order.sports_fan said:
Thanks for the advice. I tried to just relax and not force any conversations. She ended up not going but I met her other friend at the show. He was super nice and really engaging. It's really hard to break the cycle of negativity and be present.Perfect. You won't have to worry about convo during the concert. Better than let's do drinks or coffee as a first outing while learning to navigate the social scene better.
Light and friendly.. just the basic get to know you stuff before the concert along with talking about some songs you enjoy from the group you hope they play for instance. If you don't know the group, start digging into the popular songs to familiarise yourself with them. After the concert, about the concert. Remember there are 2 of you in the convo. She'll be talking too so you'll get cues from her to carry the convo. Don't become gabby/talk more than her. Guys don't like it and so do majority of women. You'll pick up cues from body language too like eye contact, smiling, etc to help as well. So you are in the same weekly yoga class, cool, there's that to talk about as well. Has she been doing it for awhile? What led her to yoga? Any tips she has for you as a beginner?
Most importantly, RELAX. You aren't on a job interview. Don't overthink/ think too hard about any of it. Let it flow and just see how it goes without thinking about "tomorrow." And also remember, the girl is probably nervous as well. Believe it or not it's not just the guy that is nervous on a first outing with someone they like. The key is to enjoy the evening tomorrow and have fun!
The more you go out and interact with people the easier it becomes to break the negative cycle. Sounds like you had fun.
I'm sure there are any number of organizations that would welcome all of your talents.
Henry Ford is spot on. You can't help anyone until you can help yourself. I wouldn't jump to Haiti just yet esp if deep down there is a sense of escaping. Plenty of opportunities to help the needy in your own backyard. Wayne Dyer uses a great quote. Wherever you go, there you are. Btw I recommend reading his books. PBS sometimes airs his program but I haven't seen it in awhile. Great self help author.wazoo11 said:
Happy Birthday! With the steps you are taking it sounds like it will be better. Best wishes. xxx
Make sure if you donate to a site that it is legit. So many fake sites out there that look legit. Some cancer charity site in NJ was just busted and I know there are many others that look mighty suspicious. Unfortunately people can be clever and create a site that looks like a great charity but is really a scam.
Congrats on him graduating. It takes time, patience and a ton of love and support in helping a loved one cope with such depression and anxiety. I went through a very long bout trying to help my cousin awhile back with a couple of attempted suicides and hospitalisations as well. Allow him all the time he needs, don't talk about college so much unless he brings it up. One thing my cousin hated was being asked all the time, are you feeling better? I was asking not because I wanted her out of my place asap but because I cared. So knowing this I quit asking so much and she felt better about that. It doesn't take much to make a highly anxious person more anxious, Good luck.
Happy birthday, waz - enjoy
He's looking forward to getting out of Dodge and starting over in college. He agreed to go for the inpatient transitional program last night- much to mom and dad's relief- because he, too realizes what a toxic environment home (his room, friends, etc) has become. He really needs the reboot. He hates being asked, "How's it going?"- probably because he doesn't know where to begin. And it hasn't been good. It took a lot of time for us to catch up with what things we did to contribute to his anxiety.
Well, I realized how much time was wasted watching porn.
