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Henry Ford

The Lawyer Thread Where We Stop Ruining Other Threads

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It has repeatedly been brought to my attention that no one wants to hear lawyers argue about lawyer stuff. This is a safe place to link to the conversation you really wanted to argue about in another thread and/or just go to town.

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he's got a point. it's a lot more entertaining reading people arguing misstated facts and assumptions

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he's got a point. it's a lot more entertaining reading people arguing misstated facts and assumptions

Like they listen to us anyway.

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he's got a point. it's a lot more entertaining reading people arguing misstated facts and assumptions

Like they listen to us anyway.

what if we just all agree to misstate the law in a way that will escalate the idiocy of the arguments?

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he's got a point. it's a lot more entertaining reading people arguing misstated facts and assumptions

Like they listen to us anyway.

what if we just all agree to misstate the law in a way that will escalate the idiocy of the arguments?

Res ipsa loquitur

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he's got a point. it's a lot more entertaining reading people arguing misstated facts and assumptions

Like they listen to us anyway.

what if we just all agree to misstate the law in a way that will escalate the idiocy of the arguments?

That's what everyone else is doing already.

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Two lawyers are walking down the beach, see a beautiful woman lying there in the sand.

"Boy," says the first lawyer, "I'd sure like to screw that one!"

The second lawyer says, "Outta what?"

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Two lawyers are walking down the beach, see a beautiful woman lying there in the sand.

"Boy," says the first lawyer, "I'd sure like to screw that one!"

The second lawyer says, "Outta what?"

I'm going to use this post as exhibit a when anyone asks me why I'm ruining another thread with lawyer talk.

I tried to start a thread just for lawyers to talk about that stuff, but people just came in and insulted lawyers. So you can thank Tim.

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Why are you trampling our First Amendment right to ruin other threads?

I prefer to think of this thread as "separate but substantially superior."

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As a non-lawyer, I like having many of you guys in threads destroying people who are very confident about their own beliefs and the law or the facts of certain scenarios. It's entertaining to watch you destroy some of the idiots board and they just keep pushing.

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As a non-lawyer, I like having many of you guys in threads destroying people who are very confident about their own beliefs and the law or the facts of certain scenarios. It's entertaining to watch you destroy some of the idiots board and they just keep pushing.

You may continue to post lawyer-friendly compliments in this thread, as well.

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As a non-lawyer, I like having many of you guys in threads destroying people who are very confident about their own beliefs and the law or the facts of certain scenarios. It's entertaining to watch you destroy some of the idiots board and they just keep pushing.

You may continue to post lawyer-friendly compliments in this thread, as well, for a reasonable fee.

FYP

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As a non-lawyer, I like having many of you guys in threads destroying people who are very confident about their own beliefs and the law or the facts of certain scenarios. It's entertaining to watch you destroy some of the idiots board and they just keep pushing.

You may continue to post lawyer-friendly compliments in this thread, as well, for a reasonable fee.

FYP

How dare you suggest that my fees are reasonable?

Read t bell post: .125 hrs.

Respond to t bell post: .125 hrs.

Research post protocol and history and etymology of "reasonable": 1.25 hrs.

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"You come in with a head full of mush, and you leave thinking like a lawyer." :shiny:

Paper Chase, right? Loved that movie. Inspired by that movie, I used to study for finals in my MBA program at Michigan by heading into Detroit to study for a few days while staying with a couple of law students and a med student who lived up there.

Did he not open the envelope at the end because he knew he finally 'got it' and nailed his classes, or because (earmuffs, lawyers!) he decided he'd had enough of the law and just wanted to keep nailing the girl?

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As a non-lawyer, I like having many of you guys in threads destroying people who are very confident about their own beliefs and the law or the facts of certain scenarios. It's entertaining to watch you destroy some of the idiots board and they just keep pushing.

You may continue to post lawyer-friendly compliments in this thread, as well, for a reasonable fee.

FYP

How dare you suggest that my fees are reasonable?

Read t bell post: .125 hrs.

Respond to t bell post: .125 hrs.

Research post protocol and history and etymology of "reasonable": 1.25 hrs.

Impressive work in the 11 minutes between my work and yours, counselor. You make me proud. Your check's in the mail.

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I know an attorney who worked for Big Law as a young lawyer, hated it, and now runs a practice where he audits company's legal bills for bull#### like HF just posted. :lmao:

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How many users here have law degrees anyway?

Do we have and medical doctors other than jene bramel?

Wasn't genedoc a doctor dealing with...genes or something...before he became a wine-shop owner?

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As a non-lawyer, I like having many of you guys in threads destroying people who are very confident about their own beliefs and the law or the facts of certain scenarios. It's entertaining to watch you destroy some of the idiots board and they just keep pushing.

You may continue to post lawyer-friendly compliments in this thread, as well, for a reasonable fee.

FYP

How dare you suggest that my fees are reasonable?

Read t bell post: .125 hrs.

Respond to t bell post: .125 hrs.

Research post protocol and history and etymology of "reasonable": 1.25 hrs.

1.5 hours, well, the billing software does this automatic rounding thing, so 2 it is.

Edited by mquinnjr

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How many users here have law degrees anyway?

Do we have and medical doctors other than jene bramel?

Wasn't genedoc a doctor dealing with...genes or something...before he became a wine-shop owner?

I think he has a PhD in like molecular genetics. Yes he owns a wine shop or is a wine distributor or somesuch. I believe his wife is a successful attorney.

Edited by Steve Tasker

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How many users here have law degrees anyway?

Do we have and medical doctors other than jene bramel?

Wasn't genedoc a doctor dealing with...genes or something...before he became a wine-shop owner?

I think he has a PhD in like molecular genetics. Yes he owns a wine shop or is a wine distributor or somesuch. I believe his wife is a successful attorney.

Solid notebooking. He definitely owns a wine shop as I've bought from him. :thumbup:

Edited by krista4

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Two lawyers are walking down the beach, see a beautiful woman lying there in the sand.

"Boy," says the first lawyer, "I'd sure like to screw that one!"

The second lawyer says, "Outta what?"

Pfffft.

The original "un-Tim-adapted for the thread" version of this joke:

A woman with no arms and legs is sitting in a row boat and is crying. A kind man walking along the beach before sunset walks towards her and asks, "Miss, why are you crying?"

The woman, dumbfounded, responds, "Oh Mister, you are so kind. I am crying because I am so lonely. I've never even been hugged before!"

The man, who feels terrible for the young woman, wraps his arms around her and giver her a big hug, sets her back down, and continues his walk down the beach.

The next day, walking along the same beach before sunset, the man sees the same woman with no arms or legs in the same rowboat and crying. He asks her, "Hello again, Miss. May I ask, why are you still crying?"

The woman responds, "Mister, you were so kind to hug me yesterday. I'm crying because no man has ever kissed me before - I feel so lonely!" The man immediately embraces the woman and gives her a long kiss. After the kiss, the man sets the woman back down in the rowboat and walks away from her, continuing his walk down the beach.

The following day, walking down the beach again before sunset, he sees the same woman with no arms or legs in the same rowboat crying. He asks her, "Hello again, Miss. May I ask, why are you still crying?"

The woman responds, "Mister, you were so nice to kiss me yesterday, I was so touched. I'm crying because no man has ever f'ed me before!" The man pauses, since the woman has no arms and legs. After thinking about the situation for a second, he picks the woman up from the rowboat and tosses her into the ocean. He then looks and says to her, "Now, you're f'ed."

Edited by mquinnjr
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Good idea. Only way we'll ever kill all the lawyers is if we get them in the same place.

But Tim is here, so there would be collateral damage. :softball:

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Hey lawyers, who is your favorite fictional lawyer?

woz

#### off. I'm on my 60th plus hour of the week right now.

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Hey lawyers, who is your favorite fictional lawyer?

woz

#### off. I'm on my 60th plus hour of the week right now.

I left the office at 3:30 yesterday.

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Hey lawyers, who is your favorite fictional lawyer?

woz

#### off. I'm on my 60th plus hour of the week right now.

I left the office at 3:30 yesterday.

I'm sure you did. I usually do too. But we got a lawyer out for medical stuff who handles the bulk of our Dependency caseload so I'm trying to get caught up. Also, I'm balls deep in the middle of a civil litigation where I'm being papered to death by the multiple defense counsels and my client refuses to settle. On top of full family and criminal caseloads. #### work right now.

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Can this double as the complaining lawyers thread??

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Can this double as the complaining lawyers thread??

I am being paid for full-time work yet haven't had any work to do since Wednesday and <10 hours this week in total. Pay your dues, grasshopper. ;)

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Can this double as the complaining lawyers thread??

In the sense that I anticipated that you would come here and that you would complain when you did, it was assumed that this would be a complaining lawyers thread.

I will also repeatedly discuss how much I hate discovery, undoubtedly.

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Any tax lawyers here? I'd love to get a day-to-day rundown of what you actually do.

It's March. You won't hear from tax guys for about 60 more days.

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Can this double as the complaining lawyers thread??

In the sense that I anticipated that you would come here and that you would complain when you did, it was assumed that this would be a complaining lawyers thread.

I will also repeatedly discuss how much I hate discovery, undoubtedly.

I'm slowly and carefully crafting a gig where basically the only discovery I'm obligated to do is depositions.

Yeah, #### written discovery.

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Any tax lawyers here? I'd love to get a day-to-day rundown of what you actually do.

It's March. You won't hear from tax guys for about 60 more days.

Right. Which is why I want to know what the #### they're doing this time of year.... ;)

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Any tax lawyers here? I'd love to get a day-to-day rundown of what you actually do.

It's March. You won't hear from tax guys for about 60 more days.

Right. Which is why I want to know what the #### they're doing this time of year.... ;)

The answer is, "Your taxes, you useless, disorganized, conniving, complaining little ####. So stop bothering me!"

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Also, non-lawyers posting in here: you should identify yourselves. We can use an acronym so it's easy - something like Am Not A Lawyer.

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