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Caught wife texting another guy and hiding it - what's the play? (1 Viewer)

S

stlrams

Footballguy
A little background here, wife of 22 years who never gave any hint of cheating. At 11:30 Christmas eve, a text comes from Katie. The next day I ask who is Katie, she tells me its coworker from NY. When I ask why CT #, she goes on to tell me its really a divorce guy she works with that going thru a tough time. I ask to see text but they're all deleted and when I ask that we can recover deleted texts she refuses saying I would get wrong message. She has hid her phone, changed the passcode, deleted everything from ipad, and deleted all recent phone #'s. She indicates nothing ever happen outside of having a few drinks one night at a work function....

 
Whoops. Might not have ever made it to a physical relationship, but there's definitely an emotional one. Christmas Eve? I would only text my closest of closest friends that night.

 
I'll bite.

She's cheating on you. And she's awful at hiding it. "Katie," I mean for real - she chose a girl's name as an alias...and then just gave in that it's a male co-worker? Fact that she won't even try to lie about the texts and snow you with something false, and instead just shuts the conversation down, is a huge red flag. Changing all the passcodes on all devices in panic mode...

Start hiding money.

 
The good news is that when the woman cheats you get to come out of it as the good guy and can live out your remaining years peacefully without anyone complaining at you.

 
Terrible liar. Guilty conscience.

Call your phone provider and recover those texts. Check call log to see how often they talk.

Good luck.

 
How did you know it was a CT#? If I have a contact all of my texts just show the name not the number, you have to go into the contact details to see the actual number.

 
stlrams said:
A little background here, wife of 22 years who never gave any hint of cheating. At 11:30 Christmas eve, a text comes from Katie. The next day I ask who is Katie, she tells me its coworker from NY. When I ask why CT #, she goes on to tell me its really a divorce guy she works with that going thru a tough time. I ask to see text but they're all deleted and when I ask that we can recover deleted texts she refuses saying I would get wrong message. She has hid her phone, changed the passcode, deleted everything from ipad, and deleted all recent phone #'s. She indicates nothing ever happen outside of having a few drinks one night at a work function....
Click to expand...
Why would she say "its my coworker from NY" - who says that?

 
AAABatteries said:
stlrams said:
A little background here, wife of 22 years who never gave any hint of cheating. At 11:30 Christmas eve, a text comes from Katie. The next day I ask who is Katie, she tells me its coworker from NY. When I ask why CT #, she goes on to tell me its really a divorce guy she works with that going thru a tough time. I ask to see text but they're all deleted and when I ask that we can recover deleted texts she refuses saying I would get wrong message. She has hid her phone, changed the passcode, deleted everything from ipad, and deleted all recent phone #'s. She indicates nothing ever happen outside of having a few drinks one night at a work function....
Click to expand...
Why would she say "its my coworker from NY" - who says that?
Click to expand...
Maybe coworker from NY sounds better than dude I'm #######?

 
AAABatteries said:
stlrams said:
A little background here, wife of 22 years who never gave any hint of cheating. At 11:30 Christmas eve, a text comes from Katie. The next day I ask who is Katie, she tells me its coworker from NY. When I ask why CT #, she goes on to tell me its really a divorce guy she works with that going thru a tough time. I ask to see text but they're all deleted and when I ask that we can recover deleted texts she refuses saying I would get wrong message. She has hid her phone, changed the passcode, deleted everything from ipad, and deleted all recent phone #'s. She indicates nothing ever happen outside of having a few drinks one night at a work function....
Click to expand...
Why would she say "its my coworker from NY" - who says that?
Click to expand...
She has done several jobs for him.

 
I'd love to know if your feelings change dramatically if you find out your wife is cheating on you with another chick especially if said chick is hot. I'd imagine for a lot of dudes, it would go from you thinking about getting a divorce to a possible 3 way opportunity.

 
NutterButter said:
I'd love to know if your feelings change dramatically if you find out your wife is cheating on you with another chick especially if said chick is hot. I'd imagine for a lot of dudes, it would go from you thinking about getting a divorce to a possible 3 way opportunity.
Click to expand...
Duh

 
Probably isn't real, but if it is... get everything on the table right now. 22 years is a long time together and there is a lot invested. But there can't be any secrets between you. It just doesn't work that way. She needs to come clean on whatever it is she has done. Chances are it is just texting/sexting or whatever, and no physical contact (yet), but gone unchecked it will move onto that at some point. Clear the air right now.

 
Recover texts and phone records.

Print out 1000 copies and tape them up all over the neighborhood.

 
We have 2 kids that are 16 and 18. This is not a fishing expedition. Not sure if I can recover texts and phone log since its her phone, don't have the phone # and account in her name as I get my phone thru work.... I was thinking of just grabbing phone and running down to verizon but doubt they would help.

 
stlrams said:
We have 2 kids that are 16 and 18. This is not a fishing expedition. Not sure if I can recover texts and phone log since its her phone, don't have the phone # and account in her name as I get my phone thru work.... I was thinking of just grabbing phone and running down to verizon but doubt they would help.
Click to expand...
Lawyer time.

 
Insein said:
AAABatteries said:
stlrams said:
A little background here, wife of 22 years who never gave any hint of cheating. At 11:30 Christmas eve, a text comes from Katie. The next day I ask who is Katie, she tells me its coworker from NY. When I ask why CT #, she goes on to tell me its really a divorce guy she works with that going thru a tough time. I ask to see text but they're all deleted and when I ask that we can recover deleted texts she refuses saying I would get wrong message. She has hid her phone, changed the passcode, deleted everything from ipad, and deleted all recent phone #'s. She indicates nothing ever happen outside of having a few drinks one night at a work function....
Click to expand...
Why would she say "its my coworker from NY" - who says that?
Click to expand...
She has done several jobs for him.
Click to expand...
THIS will not end well.

 
stlrams said:
We have 2 kids that are 16 and 18. This is not a fishing expedition. Not sure if I can recover texts and phone log since its her phone, don't have the phone # and account in her name as I get my phone thru work.... I was thinking of just grabbing phone and running down to verizon but doubt they would help.
Click to expand...
Just keep asking her what is going on. Based on what she's revealed so far, her conscience will not allow her to keep lying to you. Keep at it and get it out in the open for discussion... today.

 
stlrams said:
We have 2 kids that are 16 and 18. This is not a fishing expedition. Not sure if I can recover texts and phone log since its her phone, don't have the phone # and account in her name as I get my phone thru work.... I was thinking of just grabbing phone and running down to verizon but doubt they would help.
Click to expand...
You don't have your wife's phone number? Did I read that wrong?

 
stlrams said:
We have 2 kids that are 16 and 18. This is not a fishing expedition. Not sure if I can recover texts and phone log since its her phone, don't have the phone # and account in her name as I get my phone thru work.... I was thinking of just grabbing phone and running down to verizon but doubt they would help.
Click to expand...
She deleted all her history? wtf? Do you guys have, what you thought, was a good relationship?

 
ClownCausedChaos2 said:
stlrams said:
We have 2 kids that are 16 and 18. This is not a fishing expedition. Not sure if I can recover texts and phone log since its her phone, don't have the phone # and account in her name as I get my phone thru work.... I was thinking of just grabbing phone and running down to verizon but doubt they would help.
Click to expand...
You don't have your wife's phone number? Did I read that wrong?
Click to expand...
He dont have Katies number

 
stlrams said:
We have 2 kids that are 16 and 18. This is not a fishing expedition. Not sure if I can recover texts and phone log since its her phone, don't have the phone # and account in her name as I get my phone thru work.... I was thinking of just grabbing phone and running down to verizon but doubt they would help.
Click to expand...
I'd start dieting/exercising/bettering yourself and get ready to start nailing random strange. Divorce would be top of mind, sorry dude.Personally I'd find it difficult to not kill my wife, yet alone lay next to her.

If you are the forgiving type, then at least get some side action to even the score. Not hookers either, there needs to be some emotion attached with your cheating. See how she likes that. Use a site like AshleyMadison.com

I'd also have to explain to my kids what a whore there mother is should divorce become a reality.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
comfortably numb said:
ClownCausedChaos2 said:
stlrams said:
We have 2 kids that are 16 and 18. This is not a fishing expedition. Not sure if I can recover texts and phone log since its her phone, don't have the phone # and account in her name as I get my phone thru work.... I was thinking of just grabbing phone and running down to verizon but doubt they would help.
Click to expand...
You don't have your wife's phone number? Did I read that wrong?
Click to expand...
He dont have Katies number
Click to expand...
Ooohhh....That makes way more sense.

 
ClownCausedChaos2 said:
stlrams said:
We have 2 kids that are 16 and 18. This is not a fishing expedition. Not sure if I can recover texts and phone log since its her phone, don't have the phone # and account in her name as I get my phone thru work.... I was thinking of just grabbing phone and running down to verizon but doubt they would help.
Click to expand...
You don't have your wife's phone number? Did I read that wrong?
Click to expand...
Doesn't have the other dudes phone number.
 
She's having an affair. Either emotional or physical but it's the same thing when it progresses to lying.

The next step truly depends on what you want. What you really want.

 
stlrams said:
We have 2 kids that are 16 and 18. This is not a fishing expedition. Not sure if I can recover texts and phone log since its her phone, don't have the phone # and account in her name as I get my phone thru work.... I was thinking of just grabbing phone and running down to verizon but doubt they would help.
Click to expand...
Drag your divorce out for 2 years so you don't have to pay child support.

 
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