What's new
Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums

Welcome to Our Forums. Once you've registered and logged in, you're primed to talk football, among other topics, with the sharpest and most experienced fantasy players on the internet.

GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing (18 Viewers)

Homer J Simpson said:
I'm at like 80 days sober. 

Not sure if the fourth seal has been broken, but we're definitely up to three. 
Click to expand...
Good lord. You still in adult summer camp or are you doing some of this willingly?

 
I was sitting down and enjoying a cup of coffee at the public market in Charleston this weekend and witnessed a seemingly normal 35ish year old man pick up a hand woven basket, hold it up over his head and shout  'Wouldn't this be a cute Easter basket for Owen" to his wife who was trailing 40 feet behind him.

My son and I burst out in hysterical laughter and then I silently shed a tear for his manhood.

 
berndog said:
I was sitting down and enjoying a cup of coffee at the public market in Charleston this weekend and witnessed a seemingly normal 35ish year old man pick up a hand woven basket, hold it up over his head and shout  'Wouldn't this be a cute Easter basket for Owen" to his wife who was trailing 40 feet behind him.

My son and I burst out in hysterical laughter and then I silently shed a tear for his manhood.
Click to expand...
Seriously, who names their kid Owen?

 
Wife has a sister.  She is 30.  She is newly divorced and after shedding the rest of her baby weight (youngest child is now 2) through a combination of exercise and the ever reliable divorce diet (last time this fat piece of goop saw 180), is turning heads and drawing a lot of potential suitors.

I have a friend.  He is 47 and lives a few houses down from us.  He has two sons who are 16 and 13 and has been divorced since 2012.  Guy is in great shape, former volleyball player in college and bears a slight resemblance to Tom Brady.

This friend was invited to the recent wedding we all attended in Michigan last weekend of my wife's brother and his awesome wife.  It was a festive affair and nobody really thought our friend would attend.  Attend he did and a great time was had by all.

Well, a funny thing has happened.  The friend and the sister - despite their large age gap - have become smitten with one another.  Now, I've been out with my buddy several times since his divorce.  Guy has no problem with the ladies and has gone through beautiful women like we go through pregnancy tests.  And yet despite his ability to pull, he's never truly happy and always finds some sort of strange fault with the other gal.  But this time....this time it's different.  

So last night he tells me he's bought a ticket to go back to Michigan and spend a few days with the 30 year old sister while her two kids are with her ex-husband.  Call me an optimist, call me a dreamer, but I have a strange feeling that this might be more than a fling for both of them.  

The MIL?  She adores the guy.  Was a little taken aback to find out how much older he was (she thought he was my age or younger, which is a greater testament to the fact that I look haggard and near death than it is to him looking so young, which he does) but she's thrilled over this.  17 years and 2,300 miles apart, the odds are certainly stacked against them.  But damn it, I think this might actually be something.

TL;DR My old neighbor is boning my wife's little sister

 
General Malaise said:
Wife has a sister.  She is 30.  She is newly divorced and after shedding the rest of her baby weight (youngest child is now 2) through a combination of exercise and the ever reliable divorce diet (last time this fat piece of goop saw 180), is turning heads and drawing a lot of potential suitors.

I have a friend.  He is 47 and lives a few houses down from us.  He has two sons who are 16 and 13 and has been divorced since 2012.  Guy is in great shape, former volleyball player in college and bears a slight resemblance to Tom Brady.

This friend was invited to the recent wedding we all attended in Michigan last weekend of my wife's brother and his awesome wife.  It was a festive affair and nobody really thought our friend would attend.  Attend he did and a great time was had by all.

Well, a funny thing has happened.  The friend and the sister - despite their large age gap - have become smitten with one another.  Now, I've been out with my buddy several times since his divorce.  Guy has no problem with the ladies and has gone through beautiful women like we go through pregnancy tests.  And yet despite his ability to pull, he's never truly happy and always finds some sort of strange fault with the other gal.  But this time....this time it's different.  

So last night he tells me he's bought a ticket to go back to Michigan and spend a few days with the 30 year old sister while her two kids are with her ex-husband.  Call me an optimist, call me a dreamer, but I have a strange feeling that this might be more than a fling for both of them.  

The MIL?  She adores the guy.  Was a little taken aback to find out how much older he was (she thought he was my age or younger, which is a greater testament to the fact that I look haggard and near death than it is to him looking so young, which he does) but she's thrilled over this.  17 years and 2,300 miles apart, the odds are certainly stacked against them.  But damn it, I think this might actually be something.

TL;DR My old neighbor is boning my wife's little sister
Click to expand...
"haggard and near death" > "heroin chic"...so you got that going for you...

 
Last edited by a moderator:
General Malaise said:
Wife has a sister.  She is 30.  She is newly divorced and after shedding the rest of her baby weight (youngest child is now 2) through a combination of exercise and the ever reliable divorce diet (last time this fat piece of goop saw 180), is turning heads and drawing a lot of potential suitors.

I have a friend.  He is 47 and lives a few houses down from us.  He has two sons who are 16 and 13 and has been divorced since 2012.  Guy is in great shape, former volleyball player in college and bears a slight resemblance to Tom Brady.

This friend was invited to the recent wedding we all attended in Michigan last weekend of my wife's brother and his awesome wife.  It was a festive affair and nobody really thought our friend would attend.  Attend he did and a great time was had by all.

Well, a funny thing has happened.  The friend and the sister - despite their large age gap - have become smitten with one another.  Now, I've been out with my buddy several times since his divorce.  Guy has no problem with the ladies and has gone through beautiful women like we go through pregnancy tests.  And yet despite his ability to pull, he's never truly happy and always finds some sort of strange fault with the other gal.  But this time....this time it's different.  

So last night he tells me he's bought a ticket to go back to Michigan and spend a few days with the 30 year old sister while her two kids are with her ex-husband.  Call me an optimist, call me a dreamer, but I have a strange feeling that this might be more than a fling for both of them.  

The MIL?  She adores the guy.  Was a little taken aback to find out how much older he was (she thought he was my age or younger, which is a greater testament to the fact that I look haggard and near death than it is to him looking so young, which he does) but she's thrilled over this.  17 years and 2,300 miles apart, the odds are certainly stacked against them.  But damn it, I think this might actually be something.

TL;DR My old neighbor is boning my wife's little sister
Click to expand...
You should get him a nice basket

 
Last edited by a moderator:
We had two squirrels in the yard, fed them bread in the winter and kept the bird bath full.  I saw them humping this spring so they were a mating pair. 

Anyway, woman came home Friday and found two dead baby squirrels near the front stoop.  Found the adult male near the tree they have their nest out back, found the female in the neighbor's yard next door by the road. 

Has to be poison I guess, although I doubt any of my neighbors would have intentionally done that.  Maybe some bad water, something that was passed via milk to the little ones. 

All this has me depressed, not sure why.  I like squirrels no more than the next guy but finding the youngins was tough, would have had four of those little bastards for the dog to chase.  :(

 
Doctor Detroit said:
We had two squirrels in the yard, fed them bread in the winter and kept the bird bath full.  I saw them humping this spring so they were a mating pair. 

Anyway, woman came home Friday and found two dead baby squirrels near the front stoop.  Found the adult male near the tree they have their nest out back, found the female in the neighbor's yard next door by the road. 

Has to be poison I guess, although I doubt any of my neighbors would have intentionally done that.  Maybe some bad water, something that was passed via milk to the little ones. 

All this has me depressed, not sure why.  I like squirrels no more than the next guy but finding the youngins was tough, would have had four of those little bastards for the dog to chase.  :(
Click to expand...
I wouldn't put poison past any crotchety old neighbors with tomato plants or some other sort of garden.

 
Doctor Detroit said:
We had two squirrels in the yard, fed them bread in the winter and kept the bird bath full.  I saw them humping this spring so they were a mating pair. 

Anyway, woman came home Friday and found two dead baby squirrels near the front stoop.  Found the adult male near the tree they have their nest out back, found the female in the neighbor's yard next door by the road. 

Has to be poison I guess, although I doubt any of my neighbors would have intentionally done that.  Maybe some bad water, something that was passed via milk to the little ones. 

All this has me depressed, not sure why.  I like squirrels no more than the next guy but finding the youngins was tough, would have had four of those little bastards for the dog to chase.  :(
Click to expand...
I had a bat in the house the other day and ended up having to kill it because it wasn't cooperating with my humane method of using telepathy to tell it to just leave on its own.  

 
Limp Ditka said:
I had a bat in the house the other day and ended up having to kill it because it wasn't cooperating with my humane method of using telepathy to tell it to just leave on its own.  
Click to expand...
I love bats, way more than squirrels.  However when they get in your house trying to kill your brood, sometimes you have no choice. 

 
Doctor Detroit said:
We had two squirrels in the yard, fed them bread in the winter and kept the bird bath full.  I saw them humping this spring so they were a mating pair. 

Anyway, woman came home Friday and found two dead baby squirrels near the front stoop.  Found the adult male near the tree they have their nest out back, found the female in the neighbor's yard next door by the road. 

Has to be poison I guess, although I doubt any of my neighbors would have intentionally done that.  Maybe some bad water, something that was passed via milk to the little ones. 

All this has me depressed, not sure why.  I like squirrels no more than the next guy but finding the youngins was tough, would have had four of those little bastards for the dog to chase.  :(
Click to expand...
Thanks posty. 

 
General Malaise said:
Wife has a sister.  She is 30.  She is newly divorced and after shedding the rest of her baby weight (youngest child is now 2) through a combination of exercise and the ever reliable divorce diet (last time this fat piece of goop saw 180), is turning heads and drawing a lot of potential suitors.

I have a friend.  He is 47 and lives a few houses down from us.  He has two sons who are 16 and 13 and has been divorced since 2012.  Guy is in great shape, former volleyball player in college and bears a slight resemblance to Tom Brady.

This friend was invited to the recent wedding we all attended in Michigan last weekend of my wife's brother and his awesome wife.  It was a festive affair and nobody really thought our friend would attend.  Attend he did and a great time was had by all.

Well, a funny thing has happened.  The friend and the sister - despite their large age gap - have become smitten with one another.  Now, I've been out with my buddy several times since his divorce.  Guy has no problem with the ladies and has gone through beautiful women like we go through pregnancy tests.  And yet despite his ability to pull, he's never truly happy and always finds some sort of strange fault with the other gal.  But this time....this time it's different.  

So last night he tells me he's bought a ticket to go back to Michigan and spend a few days with the 30 year old sister while her two kids are with her ex-husband.  Call me an optimist, call me a dreamer, but I have a strange feeling that this might be more than a fling for both of them.  

The MIL?  She adores the guy.  Was a little taken aback to find out how much older he was (she thought he was my age or younger, which is a greater testament to the fact that I look haggard and near death than it is to him looking so young, which he does) but she's thrilled over this.  17 years and 2,300 miles apart, the odds are certainly stacked against them.  But damn it, I think this might actually be something.

TL;DR My old neighbor is boning my wife's little sister
Click to expand...
Since when is 17 years a big difference in age?  My dad was 50 when he married my mom at age 20 (perhaps my perspective is a little skewed).

 
General Malaise said:
Wife has a sister.  She is 30.  She is newly divorced and after shedding the rest of her baby weight (youngest child is now 2) through a combination of exercise and the ever reliable divorce diet (last time this fat piece of goop saw 180), is turning heads and drawing a lot of potential suitors.

I have a friend.  He is 47 and lives a few houses down from us.  He has two sons who are 16 and 13 and has been divorced since 2012.  Guy is in great shape, former volleyball player in college and bears a slight resemblance to Tom Brady.

This friend was invited to the recent wedding we all attended in Michigan last weekend of my wife's brother and his awesome wife.  It was a festive affair and nobody really thought our friend would attend.  Attend he did and a great time was had by all.

Well, a funny thing has happened.  The friend and the sister - despite their large age gap - have become smitten with one another.  Now, I've been out with my buddy several times since his divorce.  Guy has no problem with the ladies and has gone through beautiful women like we go through pregnancy tests.  And yet despite his ability to pull, he's never truly happy and always finds some sort of strange fault with the other gal.  But this time....this time it's different.  

So last night he tells me he's bought a ticket to go back to Michigan and spend a few days with the 30 year old sister while her two kids are with her ex-husband.  Call me an optimist, call me a dreamer, but I have a strange feeling that this might be more than a fling for both of them.  

The MIL?  She adores the guy.  Was a little taken aback to find out how much older he was (she thought he was my age or younger, which is a greater testament to the fact that I look haggard and near death than it is to him looking so young, which he does) but she's thrilled over this.  17 years and 2,300 miles apart, the odds are certainly stacked against them.  But damn it, I think this might actually be something.

TL;DR My old neighbor is boning my wife's little sister
Click to expand...
47 is old?

 
Doctor Detroit said:
We had two squirrels in the yard, fed them bread in the winter and kept the bird bath full.  I saw them humping this spring so they were a mating pair. 

Anyway, woman came home Friday and found two dead baby squirrels near the front stoop.  Found the adult male near the tree they have their nest out back, found the female in the neighbor's yard next door by the road. 

Has to be poison I guess, although I doubt any of my neighbors would have intentionally done that.  Maybe some bad water, something that was passed via milk to the little ones. 

All this has me depressed, not sure why.  I like squirrels no more than the next guy but finding the youngins was tough, would have had four of those little bastards for the dog to chase.  :(
Click to expand...
They eat the wires on my Christmas lights.

 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

General Malaise
GM's thread about nothing
4998 4999 5000
Replies
250K
Views
5M
Osaurus
Osaurus

Users who are viewing this thread

Total: 18 (members: 0, guests: 18)
Top