Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums
Welcome to Our Forums. Once you've registered and logged in, you're primed to talk football, among other topics, with the sharpest and most experienced fantasy players on the internet.
TSA: 95% failure rate (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter Rayderr
- Start date
Security theater.
Baloney Sandwich
Footballguy
Most of the TSA folks I encounter seem about as sharp as your average fast food worker but with less of a work ethic. I'm surprised they were able to be successful 5% of the time.
mquinnjr
Footballguy
Reassuring to know that if I just put the shampoo in a bottle strapped to my chest hidden in a container that looks like homemade explosives that I'll have no problems.
Hastur
Footballguy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AHZISoNlqAAReassuring to know that if I just put the shampoo in a bottle strapped to my chest hidden in a container that looks like homemade explosives that I'll have no problems.
Nick Vermeil
Footballguy
I agree the TSA is nonsense. But what replaces it? Serious question.
Rayderr
Footballguy
Well, the FFA could probably devise a system that's 5% effective. So does it really matter?
Hang 10
Footballguy
Hastur
Footballguy
Coming back from the Philippines two months ago, and I had a run in with the TSA.
Sitting in Tokyo during my layover, and I realize I forget where my seat is on the plane(it's been 2 months at this point since I bought the tickets). I thought maybe I could change it to an aisle seat if it weren't. I walked up to the counter, and asked if they could look that up for me, which they did. Aisle seat, awesome! I then ask how much it would be to upgrade to 1st class(I was curious, and wanted to know if it was worth it since it was a 14 hour flight). Her response to me was:
"Oh, very expensive! By the way, you have been randomly selected by the TSA for a security screening! Please go get your carry on bags, and come back to the counter".
I go get my bags, and go to the counter. The lady motions me over to the side, where a tall Japanese security guard is waiting. He motions me to a back room, and communicates with me thru written instructions and hand motions. I'm guessing he didn't speak english. He pats me down, and swipes the palms of my hands with some cloth that resembled a very large band aid. He also does this to the handles of my luggage. He takes that cloth and puts it into a box, and holds up a sign that says I am free to go.
Weird all around.
Sitting in Tokyo during my layover, and I realize I forget where my seat is on the plane(it's been 2 months at this point since I bought the tickets). I thought maybe I could change it to an aisle seat if it weren't. I walked up to the counter, and asked if they could look that up for me, which they did. Aisle seat, awesome! I then ask how much it would be to upgrade to 1st class(I was curious, and wanted to know if it was worth it since it was a 14 hour flight). Her response to me was:
"Oh, very expensive! By the way, you have been randomly selected by the TSA for a security screening! Please go get your carry on bags, and come back to the counter".
I go get my bags, and go to the counter. The lady motions me over to the side, where a tall Japanese security guard is waiting. He motions me to a back room, and communicates with me thru written instructions and hand motions. I'm guessing he didn't speak english. He pats me down, and swipes the palms of my hands with some cloth that resembled a very large band aid. He also does this to the handles of my luggage. He takes that cloth and puts it into a box, and holds up a sign that says I am free to go.
Weird all around.
snogger
Footballguy
Dan Lambskin
Footballguy
Doctor Detroit
Please remove your headgear
That's essentially what they are. Salary isn't much better either.Baloney Sandwich said:
matuski
Footballguy
I've been carrying through huge medical devices whose sole purpose is to pierce/cut human flesh through for years.
Only time they stopped me was an old woman TSA officer that decided to hold up my model uterus like a kaleidoscope and nearly fainted when I explained what it was.
Only time they stopped me was an old woman TSA officer that decided to hold up my model uterus like a kaleidoscope and nearly fainted when I explained what it was.
The General
Footballguy
The Pentagon is envious of the boondoggle TSA has going.
Doctor Detroit
Please remove your headgear
No they aren't, they have to fly too.
Doctor Detroit
Please remove your headgear
Um, how do you think they would catch weed at the gate? Your pal would be in jail right now had one of those dhs drug dogs would have happened upon him. Now that would have been a story for the next reunion.
The Ref
Footballguy
EYLive
Footballguy
They took your DNA and made a sex slave clone.Hastur said:Coming back from the Philippines two months ago, and I had a run in with the TSA.
Sitting in Tokyo during my layover, and I realize I forget where my seat is on the plane(it's been 2 months at this point since I bought the tickets). I thought maybe I could change it to an aisle seat if it weren't. I walked up to the counter, and asked if they could look that up for me, which they did. Aisle seat, awesome! I then ask how much it would be to upgrade to 1st class(I was curious, and wanted to know if it was worth it since it was a 14 hour flight). Her response to me was:
"Oh, very expensive! By the way, you have been randomly selected by the TSA for a security screening! Please go get your carry on bags, and come back to the counter".
I go get my bags, and go to the counter. The lady motions me over to the side, where a tall Japanese security guard is waiting. He motions me to a back room, and communicates with me thru written instructions and hand motions. I'm guessing he didn't speak english. He pats me down, and swipes the palms of my hands with some cloth that resembled a very large band aid. He also does this to the handles of my luggage. He takes that cloth and puts it into a box, and holds up a sign that says I am free to go.
Weird all around.
mquinnjr
Footballguy
Besides the fact that you're likeness is probably a top 10 sex doll in Tokyo now, what you were selected for at random is a bomb test for residue on you or your belongings. I've been picked a few times for it, quick test and you're on your way.They took your DNA and made a sex slave clone.Hastur said:Coming back from the Philippines two months ago, and I had a run in with the TSA.
Sitting in Tokyo during my layover, and I realize I forget where my seat is on the plane(it's been 2 months at this point since I bought the tickets). I thought maybe I could change it to an aisle seat if it weren't. I walked up to the counter, and asked if they could look that up for me, which they did. Aisle seat, awesome! I then ask how much it would be to upgrade to 1st class(I was curious, and wanted to know if it was worth it since it was a 14 hour flight). Her response to me was:
"Oh, very expensive! By the way, you have been randomly selected by the TSA for a security screening! Please go get your carry on bags, and come back to the counter".
I go get my bags, and go to the counter. The lady motions me over to the side, where a tall Japanese security guard is waiting. He motions me to a back room, and communicates with me thru written instructions and hand motions. I'm guessing he didn't speak english. He pats me down, and swipes the palms of my hands with some cloth that resembled a very large band aid. He also does this to the handles of my luggage. He takes that cloth and puts it into a box, and holds up a sign that says I am free to go.
Weird all around.
MikeIke
Footballguy
If you were a terrorist, you would have said no and been searched . TSA security works!
Rayderr
Footballguy
Per usajobs.gov, they make $31k-$44.5k per year. That's $18.45-21.40 per year. If that's what fast food workers are making, then why are they demanding $20 an hour?
fred_1_15301
Footballguy
Nevertheless that's a pretty ####ty salary and I'm not surprised they're doing a pretty ####ty job.
Rayderr
Footballguy
I've been job hunting for a while since the Feds are getting rid of my job. I've come across several jobs that require degrees, technical certifications and/or 5+ years of experience that pay less than that. Just because you've adjusted to life with a higher salary does not mean the salaries for a TSA officer are bad. In fact, they're pretty much right about at the median salary in the US.
matuski
Footballguy
The money goes up pretty quickly as well as long as you dont go full donkey. Pretty stable.
Opportunity for advancement, etc.
johnnycakes
Footballguy
"Anything to make flying safer". 
Godsbrother
Footballguy
I bet the 5% found were the guns stuffed in people's shoes and under their belts.
Henry Ford
Footballguy
Don't be so negative. They have a 5% success rate!
fred_1_15301
Footballguy
Not to mention job security - head of TSA not fired after this debacle but merely reassigned....to another division of Homeland Security!
Rayderr
Footballguy
Then think we should maybe raise the bar for the qualifications for the job? Qualifications: Have a High School Diploma or GED and Be proficient in English.
If it's so important, why are we trusting it to anybody who can successfully fill out an application?
And for comparison, average police officer salary? $48k. Private in the army? $18k-21k (they do get food and housing allowance, but still fall short of a TSA officer.) Firefighter? $43k. EMT? $31k.
Last edited by a moderator:
Hang 10
Footballguy
Ditkaless Wonders
Footballguy
And with the grace of god and increased funding they are confident they can push that to 6%.
RedmondLonghorn
Footballguy
I've always enjoyed that they have these machines that literally can see right through your clothes, but they get all bent out of shape if you don't automatically take off a zip-up sweater or sweatshirt.
Ditkaless Wonders
Footballguy
I just hate the financial waste of their machines. they spend millions on single machines. those same millions invested in the x-ray glasses technology of the 1960's, which where sold in the back of any comic book would provide a far bigger bang for the buck. I feel any responsible administrator ought to prioritize this. Let's get those dollars working efficiently.
Godsbrother
Footballguy
Similar threads
