Chemical X
Footballguy
I could make this post quite lengthy, but the quick version here is that on 11/15/2015 I lost my beagle jasper. he was around 15. I had been an apartment dweller most of my life, so he was my first dog, after me and my wife got our first house. not just a dog, but my side kick. we logged over 20,000 walks and he became part of my being. part of my routine. part of me. I am realistic in knowing that a dog's life is time stamped, but I thought I had a bit more time with my guy. his last year was rough on us. he had arthritis start to creep in, so he couldn't climb the stairs upstairs to sleep in our bedroom, which was his spot. this was about 12/2014.
I spent many nights up with him downstairs till he fell asleep, or I fell asleep or till the AMs of the morning. in February he had a vestibular episode, which we thought was a stroke and chronic bronchitis which required daily meds, including prednisone. during all the tests, they discovered a 3cm spot on his bladder, likely cancer. no matter, he was still the same dog, my dog. same routine, just slower and more befitting his age. he still wanted his 4 walks a day. he had another vestibular episode or 2, which we could manage and I began changing his diet to get some weight off, while bringing him to the vet for some therapy for his hind legs.
he'd get a laser and adequan shots and he seemed to be getting his legs under him a bit. my plan was to get his weight down, rehab his arthritis a bit and then peak harder into that bladder issue. sadly, I ran out of time. in October he was hospitalized for pancreatitis and I could never get his appetite started again. the saying for dogs and people I guess is that food is for the living. it's hard to get into what our routine was after he got out and came home, but I tried everything to jump start his appetite. home cooked meals, different foods, daily trips to the vet for fluids and some force feeding. anything to give my guy a shot..........he would nip a little at food, but just slept mostly. we let him go at home at 1p on a sunday, kind of kick off time. that's all I can really say about that.
since that day, I can only describe most of my days as being. I get up and do and go, but I don't have a zest nor any enthusiasm. my wife understands, she was inconsolable when we lost him and she knows he was a chunk of my life. I figure to get over this at some point, but that last year took almost everything out of me, both physically and emotionally. while I miss my guy like I got gut raped, not having a dog these last 2 months has been somewhat peaceful, but I miss the presence.
this leads to where we are now....our guy was a rescue and we know so many dogs need a good home. especially the older ones. we have talked doing a beagle again and went to an event on Saturday where we saw a bunch for adoption. had a home visit with a funny guy yesterday and my wife is 100% for bringing him in. he is around 8, but seemingly a good fit.
I am truly on the fence and torn. does getting another dog minimize my dog and what he meant to me? will this dog ever be my dog? do I have the fortitude do go thru this again? is it simply better to be dog free, remember what I lost and move onto to a new chapter? I have a myriad of other questions for myself, with no clear answer. we are not young people, but with no kids, decent resources and a dog friendly house, it is something I could do again. am I being selfish if I choose not to adopt again? I really don't know my path anymore...............
lastly, while it may seem that this is an overreaction for me losing a pet, I treated him as a family member, no more, no less. he was part of my family and an important part. what I will remember about him the most is that I can't call him a great dog, he was flawed, like all of us. he would nip at me and ask for forgiveness. he wasn't very dog friendly, but humans don't like everyone. he wanted his alone time. was stubborn as a mule. had his illnesses and fought through them.
so, to dog again is the question....................
I spent many nights up with him downstairs till he fell asleep, or I fell asleep or till the AMs of the morning. in February he had a vestibular episode, which we thought was a stroke and chronic bronchitis which required daily meds, including prednisone. during all the tests, they discovered a 3cm spot on his bladder, likely cancer. no matter, he was still the same dog, my dog. same routine, just slower and more befitting his age. he still wanted his 4 walks a day. he had another vestibular episode or 2, which we could manage and I began changing his diet to get some weight off, while bringing him to the vet for some therapy for his hind legs.
he'd get a laser and adequan shots and he seemed to be getting his legs under him a bit. my plan was to get his weight down, rehab his arthritis a bit and then peak harder into that bladder issue. sadly, I ran out of time. in October he was hospitalized for pancreatitis and I could never get his appetite started again. the saying for dogs and people I guess is that food is for the living. it's hard to get into what our routine was after he got out and came home, but I tried everything to jump start his appetite. home cooked meals, different foods, daily trips to the vet for fluids and some force feeding. anything to give my guy a shot..........he would nip a little at food, but just slept mostly. we let him go at home at 1p on a sunday, kind of kick off time. that's all I can really say about that.
since that day, I can only describe most of my days as being. I get up and do and go, but I don't have a zest nor any enthusiasm. my wife understands, she was inconsolable when we lost him and she knows he was a chunk of my life. I figure to get over this at some point, but that last year took almost everything out of me, both physically and emotionally. while I miss my guy like I got gut raped, not having a dog these last 2 months has been somewhat peaceful, but I miss the presence.
this leads to where we are now....our guy was a rescue and we know so many dogs need a good home. especially the older ones. we have talked doing a beagle again and went to an event on Saturday where we saw a bunch for adoption. had a home visit with a funny guy yesterday and my wife is 100% for bringing him in. he is around 8, but seemingly a good fit.
I am truly on the fence and torn. does getting another dog minimize my dog and what he meant to me? will this dog ever be my dog? do I have the fortitude do go thru this again? is it simply better to be dog free, remember what I lost and move onto to a new chapter? I have a myriad of other questions for myself, with no clear answer. we are not young people, but with no kids, decent resources and a dog friendly house, it is something I could do again. am I being selfish if I choose not to adopt again? I really don't know my path anymore...............
lastly, while it may seem that this is an overreaction for me losing a pet, I treated him as a family member, no more, no less. he was part of my family and an important part. what I will remember about him the most is that I can't call him a great dog, he was flawed, like all of us. he would nip at me and ask for forgiveness. he wasn't very dog friendly, but humans don't like everyone. he wanted his alone time. was stubborn as a mule. had his illnesses and fought through them.
so, to dog again is the question....................
fishing?
