Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums
Otis

Otis annual fad diet thread - Otis destroying the field with Bud Select 55s; food eaters still eating food on Mondays

Recommended Posts

I'm in on this in reverse.  I will not eat any potatoes during this period and employ a boring calorie restriction + exercise method.  When I blow up to 300#'s at least I can switch to the spud method to lose it.

Edited by James Daulton

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm in for the Nightshade Diet...

I will eat nothing but peppers, tomatoes, goji berries and tobacco for this time frame in a show of support for Bloatis

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If one goes full nightshade there is some potential they will become known as Nightshade, which sounds like a pretty sweet Superhero or Wrestler name.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, Ned said:

How are client's going to react when you pull a potato out of your satchel at dinner?

It is actually perfect.. steak house = all kinds of potato options.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Are you not supposed to lift weights during the potato diet?  I imagine you can do some light cardio, but I can't imagine it's healthy to do any significant weight training and live on 35g of protein a day.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, Chase Stuart said:

Are you not supposed to lift weights during the potato diet?  I imagine you can do some light cardio, but I can't imagine it's healthy to do any significant weight training and live on 35g of protein a day.

Why I will be drinking a casein shake each night.

Plan to go with pushups/pullups/situps/runningetc... but not weights.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, Ned said:

How are client's going to react when you pull a potato out of your satchel at dinner?

At first, they'll be amused and think it's a put-on. Then they'll hear about otis' bold moves to swim upstream, against the current of popular nutrition ideas, and they will be puffed up with admiration. "My God," they'll say "I am in the presence of a great and facile mind, a true independent thinker in the mold of Jon Stuart Mill. I admire his moxy. I must hire him, at all costs." Then, the client will order a huge plate of lyonnaise potatoes, and look at Otis, seeking his paternal approval of his choice to join the dietary revolution. Otis' lean, now-chiseled face remains stoic, save for the wry arch of an eyebrow. The client deflates, and changes his order: "baked potato, no butter, no sour cream". Fin.

19 minutes ago, Ditkaless Wonders said:

If one goes full nightshade there is some potential they will become known as Nightshade, which sounds like a pretty sweet Superhero or Wrestler name.

Nightshade is a sweet name, but I picture a woman with an impeccable physique in a black catsuit and dominatrix boots able to induce fever dreams of libidinous ecstasy. Long, red hair would be a plus. I don't just picture her because of the name, though, I pretty much picture her all the time.

i read about the solanin in potato skins, but on further review, thought the risk was pretty minimal. I eat the skins, they have more dietary fiber and a higher concentration of some micronutrients. Plus, they taste good. I did choose to buy organic, but with the money I have been saving on groceries, it evened out.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
11 minutes ago, Chase Stuart said:

Are you not supposed to lift weights during the potato diet?  I imagine you can do some light cardio, but I can't imagine it's healthy to do any significant weight training and live on 35g of protein a day.

I'm no expert in weight lifting metabolic requirements, or optimizing gains- and I don't lift, so that's my disclaimer.

i have seen recommendations to limit yourself to moderate exercise while doing this. But there was also a study done, on two Olympic athletes that adopted exactly this diet for several weeks, while undergoing intense training. They were so impressed with their performance gains and the satiety of the diet, they did not want to end the diet when the experiment was over. A diet like the one Culdeus listed above would be fine, I imagine for weight lifting, if you're worried about protein, etc. but that's why potatoes are the perfect food: they contain everything your body needs in one package. All the amino acids, perfect ratio of fat, protein, starch/carbs, vitamins and minerals. The only thing missing is Vitamin B12, which could be supplemented if you were doing full spud for a very extended time period.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
14 minutes ago, ProstheticRGK said:

At first, they'll be amused and think it's a put-on. Then they'll hear about otis' bold moves to swim upstream, against the current of popular nutrition ideas, and they will be puffed up with admiration. "My God," they'll say "I am in the presence of a great and facile mind, a true independent thinker in the mold of Jon Stuart Mill. I admire his moxy. I must hire him, at all costs." Then, the client will order a huge plate of lyonnaise potatoes, and look at Otis, seeking his paternal approval of his choice to join the dietary revolution. Otis' lean, now-chiseled face remains stoic, save for the wry arch of an eyebrow. The client deflates, and changes his order: "baked potato, no butter, no sour cream". Fin.

Nightshade is a sweet name, but I picture a woman with an impeccable physique in a black catsuit and dominatrix boots able to induce fever dreams of libidinous ecstasy. Long, red hair would be a plus. I don't just picture her because of the name, though, I pretty much picture her all the time.

i read about the solanin in potato skins, but on further review, thought the risk was pretty minimal. I eat the skins, they have more dietary fiber and a higher concentration of some micronutrients. Plus, they taste good. I did choose to buy organic, but with the money I have been saving on groceries, it evened out.

It's like you are in my head.  Of course if you really were you were know about her Asian twin handmaidens.  Go on, I dare you, if you are in my head you would know their names, costumes, and powers.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
31 minutes ago, Chase Stuart said:

Are you not supposed to lift weights during the potato diet?  I imagine you can do some light cardio, but I can't imagine it's healthy to do any significant weight training and live on 35g of protein a day.

Weights?   

 

You lift your sacks of potatoes 

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, Getzlaf15 said:

So what's for lunch today? 

Two boiled potatoes in a ziplock bag.  May nuke 'em up.  Maybe some salt or pepper.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
41 minutes ago, ProstheticRGK said:

At first, they'll be amused and think it's a put-on. Then they'll hear about otis' bold moves to swim upstream, against the current of popular nutrition ideas, and they will be puffed up with admiration. "My God," they'll say "I am in the presence of a great and facile mind, a true independent thinker in the mold of Jon Stuart Mill. I admire his moxy. I must hire him, at all costs." Then, the client will order a huge plate of lyonnaise potatoes, and look at Otis, seeking his paternal approval of his choice to join the dietary revolution. Otis' lean, now-chiseled face remains stoic, save for the wry arch of an eyebrow. The client deflates, and changes his order: "baked potato, no butter, no sour cream". Fin.

Nightshade is a sweet name, but I picture a woman with an impeccable physique in a black catsuit and dominatrix boots able to induce fever dreams of libidinous ecstasy. Long, red hair would be a plus. I don't just picture her because of the name, though, I pretty much picture her all the time.

i read about the solanin in potato skins, but on further review, thought the risk was pretty minimal. I eat the skins, they have more dietary fiber and a higher concentration of some micronutrients. Plus, they taste good. I did choose to buy organic, but with the money I have been saving on groceries, it evened out.

This exchange between ProstheticRGK and DW is some of the most elaborate and artful use of the English language we've witnessed in some time.  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

wait, Im not supposed to go for runs on this diet. That might change everything

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
30 minutes ago, Otis said:

Two boiled potatoes in a ziplock bag.  May nuke 'em up.  Maybe some salt or pepper.

LINK

Put 'em in the microwave for 40 seconds.  Delicious.  Pretty full right now.  

The only other Day 1 update is that I've had a monster headache all morning.  Not sure what is causing that as I normally would just have had coffee before lunch on a regular day (drank it black today as opposed to the splash of milk I usually have, but that can't be the cause).  Wondering if it's dehydration or something.  Anyway just popped a couple of Tylenol and drinking some delicious sparkling seltzer water.

Considering doing something like this in my garage.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 minutes ago, Ditkaless Wonders said:

It's like you are in my head.  Of course if you really were you were know about her Asian twin handmaidens.  Go on, I dare you, if you are in my head you would know their names, costumes, and powers.

Of course, you are referring to Jade and Umai, twins born to a kitchen maid in the monastery at Shang-tung. The only females ever indoctrinated into the secret, esoteric arts of the Dragon Gate clan of Wu-Shi monks.

Jade, as her name suggests, is flawless. Her body is perfectly faceted, as if cut by the hands of Li Po himself. Snake-like taut muscle, enhanced by the silky, saffron-hued skin; she is breathtaking, and fully aware of it. She enhances her beauty like a Geisha, ceremoniously applying her green eyeshadow and black lipstick to make her face even more stern and cruel. She is cognizant of the effect her beauty has on her opponents, and uses that as her opening weapon, for only a eunuch or a true-hearted warrior can be unfazed by the raw desire, the covetousness, they feel when they first gaze upon her supple breasts, barely encased by the green silk dress she wears, or her long legs and explosive glutes.

Jade's fighting style is all yang: aggressive flurries and combinations of kicks and punches designed to beat her opponents into submission, and give no quarter. She is an extremely skilled and agile gymnast, with the most remarkable body control, able to perform series of forward and backflips to lead into her favorite submission hold- the Flying Guillotine.

A series of forward flips that end with a lunging leg scissor hold around the necks of her hapless opponents. Her most treasured victories, are inducing the submission of her opponents between her iron banded thighs, and sneering at them while she watches the conflicted expressions on their faces. Simultaneously, they are terrified to feel the rigid bands of steel around their necks, choking off life-giving air and blood supply to the brain. But at the same time, there is something else, a strange sense of excitement, to be between the legs of such a beautiful woman, face inches from her heavens gate, held tight, but almost caressed by her smooth, silky skin. "And what is that," they think as their will diminishes and their lights grow dim, "is that Jasmine?" Of course it is. Crafty Jade has developed a powerful neuro toxin that induces a sense of euphoria and contentment in al those who inhale it. A closely guarded decoction of blooming jasmine and a fruit unknown to us in the West, known simply as the love apple to those trained in its uses. This perfume, applied by jade to the scent points of her femoral arteries in the pubic folds, induce a somnolent sense of well-being and euphoria, reminiscent of the post-coital euphoria experienced on a warm, tropical beach with the gentle sounds of the waves crashing in your ears. A death blow, to be sure, but what a way to go.

And of course, for such a prodigious yang warrior, what other weapon of choice but the bo staff. Decidedly phallic, but expertly wielded by such a diminutive and lithe foe. Jade knows that she who controls the staff, makes the decisions.

 

Stranger, if there is interest in the story of her twin, Umai, I would be glad in the telling. But for now, let's enjoy this fire, and drink this plum wine. 

  • Like 7

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, Getzlaf15 said:

So what do you think the major differences will be in terms of results being that you are eleven inches shorter than Otis the Spud?  Also, can we call you Spud Webb now?

Spud Webb vs. the German Butterball.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

fajitas for lunch :thumbup:

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
6 hours ago, fantasycurse42 said:

Otis starting weight: 231

Otis diet failed weight: 237

Potato diet start date: 5/15

Potato diet starting to slide off the track date: 5/17

Otis official concession of failure on diet attempt: 6/3

I'm not sure I've ever read of him conceding.  He just stops posting in the thread.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
25 minutes ago, ProstheticRGK said:

Of course, you are referring to Jade and Umai, twins born to a kitchen maid in the monastery at Shang-tung. The only females ever indoctrinated into the secret, esoteric arts of the Dragon Gate clan of Wu-Shi monks.

Jade, as her name suggests, is flawless. Her body is perfectly faceted, as if cut by the hands of Li Po himself. Snake-like taut muscle, enhanced by the silky, saffron-hued skin; she is breathtaking, and fully aware of it. She enhances her beauty like a Geisha, ceremoniously applying her green eyeshadow and black lipstick to make her face even more stern and cruel. She is cognizant of the effect her beauty has on her opponents, and uses that as her opening weapon, for only a eunuch or a true-hearted warrior can be unfazed by the raw desire, the covetousness, they feel when they first gaze upon her supple breasts, barely encased by the green silk dress she wears, or her long legs and explosive glutes.

Jade's fighting style is all yang: aggressive flurries and combinations of kicks and punches designed to beat her opponents into submission, and give no quarter. She is an extremely skilled and agile gymnast, with the most remarkable body control, able to perform series of forward and backflips to lead into her favorite submission hold- the Flying Guillotine.

A series of forward flips that end with a lunging leg scissor hold around the necks of her hapless opponents. Her most treasured victories, are inducing the submission of her opponents between her iron banded thighs, and sneering at them while she watches the conflicted expressions on their faces. Simultaneously, they are terrified to feel the rigid bands of steel around their necks, choking off life-giving air and blood supply to the brain. But at the same time, there is something else, a strange sense of excitement, to be between the legs of such a beautiful woman, face inches from her heavens gate, held tight, but almost caressed by her smooth, silky skin. "And what is that," they think as their will diminishes and their lights grow dim, "is that Jasmine?" Of course it is. Crafty Jade has developed a powerful neuro toxin that induces a sense of euphoria and contentment in al those who inhale it. A closely guarded decoction of blooming jasmine and a fruit unknown to us in the West, known simply as the love apple to those trained in its uses. This perfume, applied by jade to the scent points of her femoral arteries in the pubic folds, induce a somnolent sense of well-being and euphoria, reminiscent of the post-coital euphoria experienced on a warm, tropical beach with the gentle sounds of the waves crashing in your ears. A death blow, to be sure, but what a way to go.

And of course, for such a prodigious yang warrior, what other weapon of choice but the bo staff. Decidedly phallic, but expertly wielded by such a diminutive and lithe foe. Jade knows that she who controls the staff, makes the decisions.

 

Stranger, if there is interest in the story of her twin, Umai, I would be glad in the telling. But for now, let's enjoy this fire, and drink this plum wine. 

You are way off.  You got the lipstick color completely wrong.  Otherwise spot on, but thankfully this proves you are not in my head.

Now if you excuse me I need to smoke a member of the nightshade family, and yes, I am well aware that has at least one sexual connotation.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, NutterButter said:

I'm not sure I've ever read of him conceding.  He just stops posting in the thread.

Otis doesn't fail, he only less than succeeds.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, NutterButter said:

This is what I've been waiting for.   We need a better name for this other than the potato diet.

How about "nothing but tubers".

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, ProstheticRGK said:

Of course, you are referring to Jade and Umai, twins born to a kitchen maid in the monastery at Shang-tung. The only females ever indoctrinated into the secret, esoteric arts of the Dragon Gate clan of Wu-Shi monks.

Jade, as her name suggests, is flawless. Her body is perfectly faceted, as if cut by the hands of Li Po himself. Snake-like taut muscle, enhanced by the silky, saffron-hued skin; she is breathtaking, and fully aware of it. She enhances her beauty like a Geisha, ceremoniously applying her green eyeshadow and black lipstick to make her face even more stern and cruel. She is cognizant of the effect her beauty has on her opponents, and uses that as her opening weapon, for only a eunuch or a true-hearted warrior can be unfazed by the raw desire, the covetousness, they feel when they first gaze upon her supple breasts, barely encased by the green silk dress she wears, or her long legs and explosive glutes.

Jade's fighting style is all yang: aggressive flurries and combinations of kicks and punches designed to beat her opponents into submission, and give no quarter. She is an extremely skilled and agile gymnast, with the most remarkable body control, able to perform series of forward and backflips to lead into her favorite submission hold- the Flying Guillotine.

A series of forward flips that end with a lunging leg scissor hold around the necks of her hapless opponents. Her most treasured victories, are inducing the submission of her opponents between her iron banded thighs, and sneering at them while she watches the conflicted expressions on their faces. Simultaneously, they are terrified to feel the rigid bands of steel around their necks, choking off life-giving air and blood supply to the brain. But at the same time, there is something else, a strange sense of excitement, to be between the legs of such a beautiful woman, face inches from her heavens gate, held tight, but almost caressed by her smooth, silky skin. "And what is that," they think as their will diminishes and their lights grow dim, "is that Jasmine?" Of course it is. Crafty Jade has developed a powerful neuro toxin that induces a sense of euphoria and contentment in al those who inhale it. A closely guarded decoction of blooming jasmine and a fruit unknown to us in the West, known simply as the love apple to those trained in its uses. This perfume, applied by jade to the scent points of her femoral arteries in the pubic folds, induce a somnolent sense of well-being and euphoria, reminiscent of the post-coital euphoria experienced on a warm, tropical beach with the gentle sounds of the waves crashing in your ears. A death blow, to be sure, but what a way to go.

And of course, for such a prodigious yang warrior, what other weapon of choice but the bo staff. Decidedly phallic, but expertly wielded by such a diminutive and lithe foe. Jade knows that she who controls the staff, makes the decisions.

 

Stranger, if there is interest in the story of her twin, Umai, I would be glad in the telling. But for now, let's enjoy this fire, and drink this plum wine. 

I thank you for the warmth of both fire and tale.  These high mountain passes can bear cold worry into the bones of an old man.  To a wanderer hospitality is most refreshing, as was your excellent plum wine.  As I pass across this isthmus of life, relying now on the staff of an old man, I contemplate my journey.  I believe I see more clearly the strip of time separating the infinites, the boundaries of our lives, but I suspect also all is illusion.  Your tale will give me pleasant dalliance on my journey for not all is destination, but also travel.  It refreshes as surely as spring water from a well or the hope and ambition of youth.  Perhaps, for a time, we may find ourselves companions along the road, if so the tale of Umai holds promise for moments well spent.  For now, with your permission, I will place my bedroll close tight to the embers of your fire and will dream of butterflies and blossoms. 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
37 minutes ago, Ditkaless Wonders said:

I thank you for the warmth of both fire and tale.  These high mountain passes can bear cold worry into the bones of an old man.  To a wanderer hospitality is most refreshing, as was your excellent plum wine.  As I pass across this isthmus of life, relying now on the staff of an old man, I contemplate my journey.  I believe I see more clearly the strip of time separating the infinites, the boundaries of our lives, but I suspect also all is illusion.  Your tale will give me pleasant dalliance on my journey for not all is destination, but also travel.  It refreshes as surely as spring water from a well or the hope and ambition of youth.  Perhaps, for a time, we may find ourselves companions along the road, if so the tale of Umai holds promise for moments well spent.  For now, with your permission, I will place my bedroll close tight to the embers of your fire and will dream of butterflies and blossoms. 

Rest well, friend. It seems our paths have coalesced for a time. I am grateful for a companion with such a gift for story telling and listening. My hope is that there is much more opportunity to spend in regaling ourselves of all manner of stories. Although, I confess, there is no more fulfilling pastime than sitting by a fire with a new friend and belly full of strong plum wine, sharing tales of the fairer sex.

So, the story of Umai will wait, in true yin fashion: accepting, enfolding and embracing us, as we seek to penetrate her secret spaces.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This book Maurile recommended, The Potato Hack, is pretty great. The digestive and anti-cancer benefits here seem tremendous.  Kind of makes one wonder why we all aren't on this diet (or at least, perhaps we should be).

***

Also, I'm breaking the potato fast (and maybe my over two week alcohol fast) on Friday night, to attend a dinner I've been roped into.  Sounds like that is OK--The Potato Hack talks about these being 3 or 5 day "hacks," so I'll get in a full five days, one meal off, then back on it.  For my meal off, I'll be reasonable and aim for some meat and greens; I'll plan to limit alcohol to just a couple, if that.  I figure I'll have to survive this way in the real world eventually anyway, might as well get used to occasional normal meals.

Tempted to just order up a plain baked potato and a water, but that could make for a brutal few hours...

 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My thread title vote goes to "They Call Me Tater".

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Some of us will gladly cheer on the weight loss but we'll be here to catch you as well when you fall off/down. 

Any books on people who ate nothing but spuds for like 75-80 years?

Good Luck boys, sounds like another Atkins.

Someone needs to hurry and create a Spuds Energy Bar.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
52 minutes ago, Otis said:

Sounds like that is OK--The Potato Hack talks about these being 3 or 5 day "hacks," so I'll get in a full five days, one meal off, then back on it.

I'll root for you if you stop using the word "hack" in this way.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
9 hours ago, Peyton Marino said:

honestly, 6'4 230 doesn't even sound that fat.

6 foot 4, medium frame, ideal weight is about 175-185 lbs, you are obese. 

:lmao:

If you go by insurance charts anyways...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
58 minutes ago, Otis said:

This book Maurile recommended, The Potato Hack, is pretty great. The digestive and anti-cancer benefits here seem tremendous.  Kind of makes one wonder why we all aren't on this diet (or at least, perhaps we should be).

***

Also, I'm breaking the potato fast (and maybe my over two week alcohol fast) on Friday night, to attend a dinner I've been roped into.  Sounds like that is OK--The Potato Hack talks about these being 3 or 5 day "hacks," so I'll get in a full five days, one meal off, then back on it.  For my meal off, I'll be reasonable and aim for some meat and greens; I'll plan to limit alcohol to just a couple, if that.  I figure I'll have to survive this way in the real world eventually anyway, might as well get used to occasional normal meals.

Tempted to just order up a plain baked potato and a water, but that could make for a brutal few hours...

 

:lol: the justifications starting already?  Cmon man!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm doing the 3 day potato diet, everyone at work is mocking me, I just roll with it. We'll see if it works. I'm potato curious

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
14 minutes ago, Ned said:

:lol: the justifications starting already?  Cmon man!

Believe me, I don't want to do this dinner.  It near sparked WWIII here.  I've decided that letting my guard down for one meal will be OK, provided I don't go off the rails and freebase a cheesecake.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 minutes ago, tommyboy said:

I'm doing the 3 day potato diet, everyone at work is mocking me, I just roll with it. We'll see if it works. I'm potato curious

They're just jealous of how handsome the Thursday you will be.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Just now, Otis said:

They're just jealous of how handsome the Thursday you will be.

All my hair will grow back and my #### grows 2 inches

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
26 minutes ago, Ministry of Pain said:

6 foot 4, medium frame, ideal weight is about 175-185 lbs, you are obese. 

:lmao:

If you go by insurance charts anyways...

Dude, Steph Curry is 6-3, 190. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
29 minutes ago, Ministry of Pain said:

6 foot 4, medium frame, ideal weight is about 175-185 lbs, you are obese. 

:lmao:

If you go by insurance charts anyways...

I'm kind of a thick built guy, I don't think I could ever be 185.  At my most fit, nearly 20 years ago, I was right around 190.  I don't think that's a realistic weight for me today.  I'd be thrilled to be around 200 or 205.  Right now the immediate goal is 210.  With spuds on my side, that is conceivably like a month away...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.