Sorry about the dad thing.
You bring up some interesting points.
- It is true in some ways that it is competitive. They admit about 1K kids and every one was at or very near the top of their class. Now, only one of them is at the top, and the other 999 need to deal with it. Many aren't prepared emotionally, some commit suicide as a result. That's one of the things I look for in my interviews. As a side note, I don't ask for grades/scores/etc., the school looks at that stuff. That being said, the environment is not so much competing against each other, but banding together to compete against the school. There is a strong greek system which I was part of, and even the dorms have their own bonding/personalities.
- I didn't read the thread to see where your kid is applying but... IMO for a bachelor's degree in engineering there are a handful of schools that warrant going out of state. Otherwise, my advice is to send him to one of your in-state schools. My son went to Arizona State, graduated last year as an EE, and got a great job with great pay with a major tech company. And because of his SATs he paid almost no tuition so has no debt. I'm confident most states are similar. That being said, he interviewed 3 times for 3 different jobs at this company; rejected, rejected, accepted. He flew to Texas 3 times. An MIT grad may have gotten the first one based on school name, so it depends on your kid's personality and if he has the gumption to do what it takes to get a job (or grad school acceptance).
- MIT has a single digit acceptance rate, but that is based on global applications. Their international acceptance is very low; in the US it is in the teens.