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Help me murder a squirrel - Merry Christmas (1 Viewer)

matuski

matuski

Footballguy
Been hearing a scratching sound every once in a while over my kitchen/breakfast are over the last several months.  It has only ever been a one off deal.  The neighbor planted a tree right along the fence line years back and had grown to a point where it was touching scraping my roof so I figured that was it.  I helped him take down that tree in September.

This morning a furious scratching/wrenching sound wakes me up.  Same place above breakfast area.  Go up in the attic, it stops, come back down it starts again.  Mother ####er.

I go outside to inspect roof.. I can see all but one area from the ground.  Climb up onto the fence to see the one spot... son of a ##### has chewed through the wood beam and into the space under the eave.  I have called about a dozen animal/pest control companies, but of course nobody is open.

So help me.  I once saw a kid get attacked by a squirrel, and Pacquiao has nothing on these monsters.  I'm not going toe to toe with a rabies ridden clawed fur ball in a tight space.  :wall:

I lay a trap right?  Is there poison that works? 

 
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Put down some bbs in the area by the opening to make him slip, then  when he tries to get back up, have a tiny paint can on a rope swing down and bonk him in his peasized brain

 
Yeah I like the bleach idea.  Not sure you'd want a poisoned squirrel to die in your attic with the inevitable stench.

 
We had one in the attic this spring. Technically rat poison doesn't necessarily work on squirrels, theyre less likely to actually go and ingest it. The pest guy recommended a specific rat poison, they were little red pucks. He threw a bunch in the attic (vaulted ceiling and can't actually get to where he was). That night we heard him find them and he went to town, sounded like he was playing a 3 on 3 hockey tournament with the puck. Each night we'd hear him, moving slower and slower. Day 6....dead.

 
Pipes said:
Yeah I like the bleach idea.  Not sure you'd want a poisoned squirrel to die in your attic with the inevitable stench.
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The stuff we used was an anti-coagulant and per the pest guy it minimizes the smell and greatly speeds up the deterioration  process. I believe it was called jaguar. We never had any smells, although as it works slowly the other up is he dies while out of the house.

 
Go to your local farm supply, like a Tractor Supply or Fleet Farm or something like that. They sell pigeon decoys there. Put 7 of those on your roofline.

Squirrel can't beat 7-1 odds.

 
WhatDoIKnow said:
Mothballs.  Have you ever smelled mothballs?

How'd you get their tiny legs apart?


Peanut butter sandwich in a live trap. 
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This. No need for a sandwich. Peanut butter on one side. Once caught, put trap in large garbage bag, they settle right down and drive at least five miles away and release. 

I've done dozens like this

 
Fishboy said:
This. No need for a sandwich. Peanut butter on one side. Once caught, put trap in large garbage bag, they settle right down and drive at least five miles away and release. 

I've done dozens like this
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How do you know it's not the same one that keeps coming back for a free pb sandwich?

 
Portis Homer said:
We had one in the attic this spring. Technically rat poison doesn't necessarily work on squirrels, theyre less likely to actually go and ingest it. The pest guy recommended a specific rat poison, they were little red pucks. He threw a bunch in the attic (vaulted ceiling and can't actually get to where he was). That night we heard him find them and he went to town, sounded like he was playing a 3 on 3 hockey tournament with the puck. Each night we'd hear him, moving slower and slower. Day 6....dead.
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6 days? Why not just throw candy up there and wait for them to get diabetes?

 
Cement mix mixed into some cornmeal.  Kills the squirrel and helps desiccate it so it doesn't stink as much when it dies in the inconvenient space you cannot get to.

 
Fishboy said:
This. No need for a sandwich. Peanut butter on one side. Once caught, put trap in large garbage bag, they settle right down and drive at least five miles away and release. 

I've done dozens like this
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Meal and a drive in the country, you're really showing these vermin who's boss.  

 
dgreen said:
How do you know it's not the same one that keeps coming back for a free pb sandwich?
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Lol. I thought the same thing at first. Multiple traps and I've taken 2 and 3 at a time. After a couple of years I only get one here and there. 

 
matuski said:
Going with this.. any dilution with water or just straight bleach?
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I poured some into a spray bottle and used it directly without dilution.  My squirrel had started to set up a little nesting area...sprayed the nest and the surrounding area.  Didn't take much.  I managed to spray the squirrel a little too as it was there when I went to do the job.  That may, or may not, have improved the effectiveness.  Whatever the case, I know it never returned.

 
Step 1.  Go to store

Step 2.  Buy suitable camo to blend in with the background in the immediate area where the "sound" was heard.  You must be within arms reach.

Step 3. Buy whiskey

Step 4. Drink Whiskey

Step 5. Take a nap

Step 6.  Another shot of whiskey

Step 7. Bathroom break

Step 8. Post your status / update here

Step 9. Put on camo

Step 10. More whiskey

Step 11. Another bathroom break?

Step 12. Put on Kevlar cut resistant gloves

Step 14. Go to area where perp has been heard

Step 15. Lie in wait overnight if you must.  You drank enough and have gone to the bathroom twice your good right?

Step 16. Post update with pic

Step 17. Profit?

 
Bleach did nothing.  The second of two critter control guys just got done inspecting.

Both identical quotes and plans.  Effing $1200, apparently as many as 8 squirrels living in my attic.  They showed me all the paths they had made through my insulation.

Trapping, rebuilding/repairing damage, metal plates in all openings, deodorizing attic.   :wall:

 
matuski said:
Bleach did nothing.  The second of two critter control guys just got done inspecting.

Both identical quotes and plans.  Effing $1200, apparently as many as 8 squirrels living in my attic.  They showed me all the paths they had made through my insulation.

Trapping, rebuilding/repairing damage, metal plates in all openings, deodorizing attic.   :wall:
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Burn it down !!!

 
I spent $2000 getting rid of bats a few years ago, and I think they are back.  Or, they never got them all the first time.

 
matuski said:
Bleach did nothing.  The second of two critter control guys just got done inspecting.

Both identical quotes and plans.  Effing $1200, apparently as many as 8 squirrels living in my attic.  They showed me all the paths they had made through my insulation.

Trapping, rebuilding/repairing damage, metal plates in all openings, deodorizing attic.   :wall:
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Have you thought of doing it yourself?  

 
Reg Lllama of Brixton said:
Have you thought of doing it yourself?  
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There is carpentry work - they chewed through beams and shingles and.. stuff.  I can probably handle the interior part of that in the attic, but the exterior roof repair.. no.  Roof has some steep/high areas I would need to get to even if I could handle the roofing/soffit repair myself.

The guy I am going with guarantees work for 18 months, and I plan to sell the house before then.

 
matuski said:
There is carpentry work - they chewed through beams and shingles and.. stuff.  I can probably handle the interior part of that in the attic, but the exterior roof repair.. no.  Roof has some steep/high areas I would need to get to even if I could handle the roofing/soffit repair myself.

The guy I am going with guarantees work for 18 months, and I plan to sell the house before then.
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Ug.  That sucks.

 
Ned said:
Holy ####

The skeptic in me would want this guy to show me every corpse. 
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He did find 2 skeletons.. they have been living here awhile.

Both of them said they were expecting more damage.  Apparently squirrels like to trash attics.

 
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