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Do you let your child quit youth sports? (1 Viewer)

shadyridr

shadyridr

Footballguy
My son is 7. He plays little league baseball and loves it. He expressed interest in playing basketball so I signed him up. He played one game so far and the other kids clearly have been playing before. My son never played doesn't know how to dribble, shoot, or catch the ball. He is actually terrified of catching the ball and no matter how much I practice with him he's still scared of it. He said one of his teammates was making fun of him and now he's lost all his confidence. 

I really don't know what to do. He's crying today because it's his second game and he doesn't wanna go. I don't want him to be upset and lose confidence. But I also don't want him to quit after one game. I'm telling him the more he plays the better he gets and if he still wants to quit after the season then he can quit but he's still upset. 

 
We let my 6 yo daughter quit soccer. Cried every time we went, didnt like it. Wasn't worth the fight and hassle every sat morning.

 
Generally, my approach with my kids has been to make them stick out a season once they signed up, even if they didn't want to. I wrapped the lesson of "being part of the team" around that. The idea being, that once you are part of a team, you would be letting the team down if you quit in the middle of the season and that's not something that we do.

But if the level of the other kids is that vastly different from your son's, I guess I could see the other side of it too. The teasing by the other kids on the team doesn't help either.

Tough call.

Good luck.

 
My daughters played every sport growing up and liked some better than others.  My rule was if you signed up you stuck out the season and then you did not have to play again if you did not like it. They both were very good swimmers but hated the individual practice...my youngest said she was quitting and I told her you finish the year and quit. Although she did not like it she was finishing top 3 in her events so she enjoyed the meets.

That being said I have never been in a situation like you are in now where they were over matched in terms of experience and skill level. If you can get him though a few weeks he may end up improving and fitting in better.   But if he it is totally at a different level and feels humiliated then you have to make a decision if it is worth it.

 
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I would usually say stick out the season, but at that age, it's not worth it if they are that miserable.  It needs to be fun.  

We had a similar thing with my son and baseball.  Cried the first practice when we got there, but did participate after a bit, and was ok after that.  If it would have gone on longer or he didn't play with me, we would have pulled the plug. That was more of a scared to be around other people thing, not a scared of the ball thing though. 

 
If other kids are giving him a hard time, maybe best to try something else.  If kids are supportive and trying to help, id give it a few more games. 

 
My 6yo hasn't been that thrilled with some activities (gymnastics, soccer). We've had her finish out the "season", but we won't sign her up again if she doesn't want. 

I don't know what I would do if she was as upset as your kid seems to be. I'd like to use it as a life lesson, but I can't stand to see her upset. Especially with something I can prevent. 

 
If there was a chance for real improvement over the course of the season, I'd make him stay. But when you're 7 years old, "improvement" is largely dependent upon physical development. And if the body isn't ready yet, you can't force it to be ready.

Is there another sport that you could switch to?

 
We've stuck through each season but now only one (our 8yo) of my 4 sons is still in a sport (running, karate, and skating - not really team sports).  Our 6yo will go back to team sports in the spring but our 12 and 14yo stopped a while ago.  I don't know if making them stay with each season made them stay away after that season but it's possible.  

 
Sorry to hear this. My son is 6 and in the first year of most sports with 7 yr olds in their 2nd year that have much more of a clue what's going on. Hopefully you can find something fun or rewarding about it to engage your son or help him enjoy the team experience. Maybe an aspect of the game will click with him - some of the kids on my team are timid and we've helped their confidence with improving their passing and showing them it's ok be be more aggressive to rebound etc. 

good luck dude. 

 
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5 kids, first two and the fifth completely unathletic - middle son was a decent wrestler and second youngest is a very good baseball player.  All of them at one time or another were involved in a sport or an activity and my rule was always never force them into an activity but once started they need to complete and give full effort in that activity until that season ends.  For the non-athletes it helped them a lot in their non-athletic endeavors when they got older (not quitting, time management, humility) - and for the athletes it made them better teammates down the road.

 
Thanks all. Gave him a pep talk and he's willing to stick out more. He's decent at baseball so I think he can improve if he just gives it a chance. 

 
I get the idea and sentiment of not quitting, but there has to be a cutoff somewhere.  There is a difference between simply not liking something or not being the best at it and crying through the whole thing and being scared.  There is also a big difference in just a few years.  6-7 yr olds it's barely a team, probably aren't keeping score etc.  We starting seeing more of what looks like a sport around 9-10 here (maybe it's different elsewhere).  

We had this talk with my 10yr old this year b/c he is not enjoying soccer quite as much this year.  And said he didn't think he wanted to do it any more.  The team he is on plays in the spring again, and only has a couple subs, so I told him to finish the spring season and we will talk about it after that and if he doesn't want to do it, no problem.  Like I said, it would have been an entirely different thing if he still kept crying at practice and was upset at home a few years ago when we started. 

 
shadyridr said:
Thanks all. Gave him a pep talk and he's willing to stick out more. He's decent at baseball so I think he can improve if he just gives it a chance. 
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Is there any aspect of the game that he's semi-good at? Like if he just focused on defense or rebounding?

 
shadyridr said:
My son is 7. He plays little league baseball and loves it. He expressed interest in playing basketball so I signed him up. He played one game so far and the other kids clearly have been playing before. My son never played doesn't know how to dribble, shoot, or catch the ball. He is actually terrified of catching the ball and no matter how much I practice with him he's still scared of it. He said one of his teammates was making fun of him and now he's lost all his confidence. 

I really don't know what to do. He's crying today because it's his second game and he doesn't wanna go. I don't want him to be upset and lose confidence. But I also don't want him to quit after one game. I'm telling him the more he plays the better he gets and if he still wants to quit after the season then he can quit but he's still upset. 
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Let him quit and maybe he comes back down the road.  If you force it, he will hate the sport forever.  Happened to me while I was pledging with beer pong.

 
When youngest my daughter was 12 she changed soccer clubs to go to a better club, never really fitted in and very soon after she joined started having trouble with her knees. She stopped (couldn't play for a while) but never went back to it after the knee problems went away. She runs a lot though.

 
put him on a beginner team. or if he isn't comfortable bail and work with him yourself so that he is a bit more consistent with the others for next year.

 
Apple Jack said:
put him on a beginner team. or if he isn't comfortable bail and work with him yourself so that he is a bit more consistent with the others for next year.
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It's intramural biddy basketball. Doesn't get much more beginner than that. Just clearly kids have been playing at earlier ages and he just started 

 
shadyridr said:
It's intramural biddy basketball. Doesn't get much more beginner than that. Just clearly kids have been playing at earlier ages and he just started 
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cool, not a big deal. i would just work with him on basic ball handling and layups. save the triangle offense for next season.

 
[scooter] said:
Is there any aspect of the game that he's semi-good at? Like if he just focused on defense or rebounding?
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I like the rebounding idea because that's something that can be focused on easily and can be counted.  All it takes is hustle.  

 
Honestly I can't get him past his fear of catching a pass. He was like that on baseball too but he's gotten better. I think once I get him past that he will get more confidence. 

 
shadyridr said:
Honestly I can't get him past his fear of catching a pass. He was like that on baseball too but he's gotten better. I think once I get him past that he will get more confidence. 
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Just go the Dodgeball route and start throwing wrenches at him.  A basketball won't be nearly as scary after that. ;)

 
shadyridr said:
No its bizarre and irrational. I can understand being scared in baseball but basketball?
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Those are the worst as a parent because you feel the need to fix it.  My 10yr is afraid of bleachers.  Not heights in general, but bleachers damn near paralyze him with fear and bring the tears. 

 
My wife and myself were both athletes. She's the tall super model type, like every FBG's SO, so was elated to hear we were having a son.  Signed him up for soccer and he liked talking to the coache's wife more than being on the field. So let him quit. It's supposed to be fun.

My youngest son loves playing baseball so still get to enjoy that. Pretty average player really and the funny thing is I convinced my oldest to play catch with us last summer and he has a better arm and accuracy than my youngest that plays and practices all the time.  He doesn't get to quit because I know it would be our of frustration.

 
I don't know of someone was actually making fun of him. I was watching him the whole time and didn't see anything. He just said he heard a laugh so he may be making it up. 

Anyway we just practiced and he seems ok so well give it a few more weeks. 

 
Let my son quit baseball over here.  He was playing up with the older group and they won a game 40-0, mercy rule, pitchers threw 4 perfect innings and he saw one inning in the field and zero ABs.  Coach tried to play it off like there was nothing he could do because of the mercy rule.  Even if he copped up to getting caught off guard by it I would have reluctantly given him the benefit of the doubt but he took zero responsibility.  Sold our stuff back to the club the next week.  More time for hoops now.

 
shadyridr said:
I don't know of someone was actually making fun of him. I was watching him the whole time and didn't see anything. He just said he heard a laugh so he may be making it up. 

Anyway we just practiced and he seems ok so well give it a few more weeks. 
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Kids are funny that was.  You just gotta keep firing the ball at him and he will learn to trust his hands.  Positive reinforcement.  Tell him how good his hands are.

 
Getzlaf15 said:
I like the rebounding idea because that's something that can be focused on easily and can be counted.  All it takes is hustle.  
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Rebounding at that age is really hard to teach.  I don't even drill it until u14.  Too many other parts of the game to work on that are more beneficial skill wise and will stick easier.

 
shadyridr said:
Honestly I can't get him past his fear of catching a pass. He was like that on baseball too but he's gotten better. I think once I get him past that he will get more confidence. 
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I would imagine that part of the fear is because the other kids will make fun of him if he doesn't catch it. Maybe have him bounce the ball against a wall? That way there's no pressure to catch it (and it also helps him figure out the concept of rebounding). Then work your way up to you bouncing the ball off of the wall, then start throwing bounce passes to him, then finally throw regular passes to him.

 
There's a difference between teaching your kids a lesson and scaring them for life. If you want him to hate basketball for the rest of his life, then don't let him quit. If my kids want to quit something because they found something better to do, I don't let them quit. But it it's something that terrifies them, then of course I let them quit. 

 
Apple Jack said:
cool, not a big deal. i would just work with him on basic ball handling and layups. save the triangle offense for next season.
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:goodposting:

Have him do figure eights, etc when he is watching TV.   Always be dribbling when you have a ball.  Never hold it.  Lay ups, don't be focused on outcome.  Correct footwork, correct hand.  Makes come later.  Right-left-lift.  Left-Right-lift.  Amazing how quick they improve when they focus on the process and not the outcome.

 
Short Corner said:
Rebounding at that age is really hard to teach.  I don't even drill it until u14.  Too many other parts of the game to work on that are more beneficial skill wise and will stick easier.
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At 7, it's "when you see someone shoot, go run after it!"  No need for drills  :D   Make it into a game for him.

 
my girls have quit everything we put them in.   sports are just not their thing.   more free time for me on the weekend.   

 
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