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[s]Anxiety[/s] Pothead -[s] reach out for help.[/s] Update- Sobriety is strange (1 Viewer)

STEADYMOBBIN 22

STEADYMOBBIN 22

Footballguy
I lay awake in bed. I'm exhausted. I just want to sleep, more than anything. I can't control the thoughts of work tomorrow. Is so and so going to show up? Did I get enough material for my men to do their work?  But it's not always work, though. It could be anything, my mind racing from one subject to the next, totally random and uncontrollable. One moment I might be thinking about football, the next moment I'm thinking about a random event from elementary school or a topic on this board from a year ago. 

Most of the time I'm Mr calm, cool and collect. I make sound, rational and intelligent decisions when others are in a panic. Other times I have no patience, little things upset me so. My kids leaving the light on or some stupid MFer who won't make a right on red will enrage me. Now I won't (always) fly off the handle but the rage is still inside me. Afterwards I'm ashamed I made such a big deal about such a small thing. If only I just internally composed myself I would handle the situation rationally. 

Having too many tasks will cause me to almost shut down, feeling overwhelmed. I have learned that if I just concentrate on one thing at a time I can "catch up" and I almost always say to myself, "see, that didn't take long and you were worrying for nothing" 

I always assumed it was just my Irish blood. I thought I would eventually grow out of it. I turned 40 in march and I think I'm getting worse. 

I'm against pills although I've been self medicating with weed for 25 years. 

I'm so tired, I want to sleep and I want this to stop. I'm mentally and sometimes physically exhausted. I'm a functional mental wreck. 

H

e

l

p

 
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:( - sorry man - my only suggestions are get exercise, cut out the weed and alcohol and maybe see a therapist?  Hang in there.

 
sorry to hear buddy, have been there before.  There's no silver bullet, there's no magic answer.  I think the most reasonable, appropriate advice to give is to maybe talk to a psych professional who can give you decent advice.

But from my annectdotal, "works for now" advice, a few things...

-plenty of exercise, outside, in nature as much as possible.  For whatever studies are worth, the studies overwhelmingly support the calming value of this of just being in that enviroment.  So walks in the woods, walks in the park, walks on the beach, or running, riding, whatever suits you.  Make time for it even if you don't have time.  Take the kids but it has helped me a lot

-yoga is also great to help with the breathing and body rhythms.  Pursuant to this...

-meditation.  Its not just sitting idly but actively working to relax your mind.   This will seem all but impossible to you right now, but it can be done.

-lastly, maybe most importantly, throw yourself into helping others.  Its homespun, folksy advice but its harder to worry about yourself when you're helping others.  Maybe its your kids, maybe its volunteering, maybe its a parent or elder but it will also give you a purpose.

-PS, a project is also nice.  Could be anything, working out, running a marathon, home improvement, but a reasonable goal you can set and achieve is also a good recipe.

Good luck and good on you for reaching out.  Start with the exercise, and if you need to get through the night, Pink floyd Echoes and dark side of the moon on headphones and you'll zone out. 

 
AAABatteries said:
:( - sorry man - my only suggestions are get exercise, cut out the weed and alcohol and maybe see a therapist?  Hang in there.
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Quit smoking weed about two weeks ago. I can't smoke that #### forever. Part of my attempt at "fixing" this. 

I'm by no means depressed or having any thoughts of hurting myself or others...

I just want to sleeeep and compartmentalize some of these thoughts. 

 
Hey man, hang in there and talk it out with some friends.

Not being trite here, I find books helpful at these times. Grab a book and read and just block out other thoughts for a while. Just focus on the words, nothing else. Give it a shot.

 
Smack Tripper said:
sorry to hear buddy, have been there before.  There's no silver bullet, there's no magic answer.  I think the most reasonable, appropriate advice to give is to maybe talk to a psych professional who can give you decent advice.

But from my annectdotal, "works for now" advice, a few things...

-plenty of exercise, outside, in nature as much as possible.  For whatever studies are worth, the studies overwhelmingly support the calming value of this of just being in that enviroment.  So walks in the woods, walks in the park, walks on the beach, or running, riding, whatever suits you.  Make time for it even if you don't have time.  Take the kids but it has helped me a lot

-yoga is also great to help with the breathing and body rhythms.  Pursuant to this...

-meditation.  Its not just sitting idly but actively working to relax your mind.   This will seem all but impossible to you right now, but it can be done.

-lastly, maybe most importantly, throw yourself into helping others.  Its homespun, folksy advice but its harder to worry about yourself when you're helping others.  Maybe its your kids, maybe its volunteering, maybe its a parent or elder but it will also give you a purpose.

-PS, a project is also nice.  Could be anything, working out, running a marathon, home improvement, but a reasonable goal you can set and achieve is also a good recipe.

Good luck and good on you for reaching out.  Start with the exercise, and if you need to get through the night, Pink floyd Echoes and dark side of the moon on headphones and you'll zone out. 
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Thanks. 

I do exercise, and that does help. Maybe I should take my dog for a long walk right before bed. 

My best recipe for sleep is watching WW2/history docs on YouTube. Doesn't always work thought, lol last night I watched over 5 hours of a Harvard professor teaching WW2 history. 

Ill give Pink Floyd a shot tonight. 

Thanks again. 

 
Have you tried one of those mindfulness apps like calm?  Can help to keep your mind from wandering to the things you don't need to worry about when trying to sleep.

 
SaintsInDome2006 said:
Hey man, hang in there and talk it out with some friends.

Not being trite here, I find books helpful at these times. Grab a book and read and just block out other thoughts for a while. Just focus on the words, nothing else. Give it a shot.
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That's not even remotely possible. The only book I've ever managed to finish was Stephen Kings "The Green Mile" and that was only because he initially released them a volume at a time. 

Audio books sometimes work but other time, not unlike books I start wandering.... thinking about a pass Joe Montana threw in 1988. 

 
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I've suffered from the "can't shut work off at home" thing off and on for years, and after decades of it it got intolerable. I have the luxury (and curse) of being able to put off what I want to put off at work, and that seems to be the key to unhappiness. It becomes a Pile of Dread. 2-3 months ago I had enough of lying awake thinking uselessly about work, decided to hit the things I put off head-on, move them along to a successful outcome, and just go through the client grief in the process. It has worked well to relieve any at-home worry; there is only one weekend the last 2 months where I've thought at all about work. But I know I'm prone to procrastination, and I'll lapse into it again if I'm not careful.

The other things I've changed are to exercise a bit more, and when it seems the worries are coming on (for no active reason other than my brain) I have a strong rum & coke 30-60 minutes before bed. That relaxes me. Weed can be fun but it speeds my brain up which is the last thing to do for useless worrying. YMMV.

Good luck, man. And if all else fails, sit back and imagine what you'd tell a friend to do who was in your situation. Then take your advice.

 
STEADYMOBBIN 22 said:
Thanks. 

I do exercise, and that does help. Maybe I should take my dog for a long walk right before bed. 

My best recipe for sleep is watching WW2/history docs on YouTube. Doesn't always work thought, lol last night I watched over 5 hours of a Harvard professor teaching WW2 history. 

Ill give Pink Floyd a shot tonight. 

Thanks again. 
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Tellyawhat I started walking my dogs every night a few months ago, take some music along, and I pretty much crash. Gonna do that now actually.

 
STEADYMOBBIN 22 said:
I'm by no means depressed
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I used to have several of the same issues. Not the lying awake at night part though. I've never had trouble sleeping. But some of the other stuff was definitely me. And I was experiencing depression. 

People experience it in different ways. 

But I am no mental health expert, so take that for what it is worth. 

Good luck.

 
As a lifelong insomniac (although I mostly only have problems sleeping these days when I need to work the next day or something important is coming up, so its definitely anxiety driven), I just wanted to suggest perhaps taking melatonin to help you with your sleep.  It has worked really well for me, although I'm unsure about the long term side effects (google doesn't seem to come up with anything too worrisome).  

 
I have this problem every night too.

What I find that works most often for me is to just concentrate and make up a song in my head. If you can get the sound vivid enough it may help you pass out.

 
STEADYMOBBIN 22 said:
Purchased. I'll try my best to read it.
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cool... let me know what you think.  Its perhaps not for everyone but it was like someone wrote a book inside of my head.  Its easily 2-300 pages but usually following whats set forth in the first 30-40 cures what ails me.  Maybe if I read and did the whole thing they'd be gone for good :lmao:

In all seriousness, I think my mind has shifted and I don't see them as something to cure, as I don't think they're going away, but something to manage periodically.  They've come before and they've gone before, and they're no fun when they're here but they won't be here forever. 

 
STEADYMOBBIN 22 said:
That's not even remotely possible. The only book I've ever managed to finish was Stephen Kings "The Green Mile" and that was only because he initially released them a volume at a time. 

Audio books sometimes work but other time, not unlike books Instart wandering.... thinking about a pass Joe Montana threw in 1988. 
Click to expand...
Before reading this reply, I was going to explain my annual battle with insomnia (no anxiety though), but if you can't focus on a book to put yourself out, then see a pro. There's no shame in it. Fwiw, I will completely exhaust myself physically to get past the insomnia. Both through exercise and deliberately not sleeping. Laying in bed miserable or running the hills at 3am? I've hiked 15 miles with no sleep the day before (5 miles at a time) just to reach exhaustion, and it is the sleep of angels when it comes.

 
STEADYMOBBIN 22 said:
Downloading now. Thank you.
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kinda hokey, but I have used it occasionally.  Two basic kinds of mindfulness these apps use.  One is stories which are supposed to distract and lull you to sleep, other is just getting you to focus in on things like feeling the weight of your toes up to to your ears.  The latter ones seem to work better for me. Another app is "mindshift", there are a bunch out there.

 
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fatness said:
I've suffered from the "can't shut work off at home" thing off and on for years, and after decades of it it got intolerable. I have the luxury (and curse) of being able to put off what I want to put off at work, and that seems to be the key to unhappiness. It becomes a Pile of Dread. 2-3 months ago I had enough of lying awake thinking uselessly about work, decided to hit the things I put off head-on, move them along to a successful outcome, and just go through the client grief in the process. It has worked well to relieve any at-home worry; there is only one weekend the last 2 months where I've thought at all about work. But I know I'm prone to procrastination, and I'll lapse into it again if I'm not careful.

The other things I've changed are to exercise a bit more, and when it seems the worries are coming on (for no active reason other than my brain) I have a strong rum & coke 30-60 minutes before bed. That relaxes me. Weed can be fun but it speeds my brain up which is the last thing to do for useless worrying. YMMV.

Good luck, man. And if all else fails, sit back and imagine what you'd tell a friend to do who was in your situation. Then take your advice.
Click to expand...
I think I need to change jobs. My work requires faaaar more from me then most jobs. Work piles it o me cause they know (think) I can handle it. I out produce everyone in my position and often do other people's jobs because I do whatever needs to be done, even if it isn't my responsibility. 

I gotta stop that. 

 
I know quite a few people with anxiety and they take medicine for it.  It may take a few tries to find out what works for you, but there is no reason not to seek medical advice on this issue in this day and age.  There are solutions for you that are much better than weed, which is self-medicating.  If you are gonna do that you should get a medical marijuana prescription.

Good luck. 

 
Asking for help is half the battle. Talk openly to those closest to you or an intellectual buddy who will understand. 

Sounds like you're not really a reader but for me I wanted to learn everything I could about the way I was feeling. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy helps. 

A great therapist is awesome. Find one that fits. Be honest with them. You'll know a good fit when it happens. They'll help keep things in perspective and give you one or two things to help cope, then add more to your plate as you are able. That's my experience. It's very healthy and liberating to talk about the deeper issues that affect us. You can and will feel better. It doesn't have to keep being like it is now.

Stay positive and keep working at it. The happiness that comes back is worth it. We're pulling for you!

 
Chaos Commish said:
Before reading this reply, I was going to explain my annual battle with insomnia (no anxiety though), but if you can't focus on a book to put yourself out, then see a pro. There's no shame in it. Fwiw, I will completely exhaust myself physically to get past the insomnia. Both through exercise and deliberately not sleeping. Laying in bed miserable or running the hills at 3am? I've hiked 15 miles with no sleep the day before (5 miles at a time) just to reach exhaustion, and it is the sleep of angels when it comes.
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Lol, I'm with ya man. 

Last Thursday I fell asleep at 4:25 AM (fri morn)

woke up Friday morn at 6:45

made the kids breakfast, walked the dog for over an hour so she wouldn't be bored,

drove 4 hours north to PA 

proceeded to get tattooed for 6 hours 

drove home another 4 hours 

finally got to bed at 2AM

i slept well that night (still woke up around 9AM the next morn. 

 
STEADYMOBBIN 22 said:
I think I need to change jobs. My work requires faaaar more from me then most jobs. Work piles it o me cause they know (think) I can handle it. I out produce everyone in my position and often do other people's jobs because I do whatever needs to be done, even if it isn't my responsibility. 

I gotta stop that. 
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Sounds like you're more than competent, more than willing, and it results in you carrying too much of a load. Can you (either through change of habits or talking to a boss) get your load back to what it ought to be? Might be worth checking out.

 
Doctor Detroit said:
I know quite a few people with anxiety and they take medicine for it.  It may take a few tries to find out what works for you, but there is no reason not to seek medical advice on this issue in this day and age.  There are solutions for you that are much better than weed, which is self-medicating.  If you are gonna do that you should get a medical marijuana prescription.

Good luck. 
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bigbottom said:
I wouldn't categorically reject meds. 
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I'm concerned about psychoactive drugs and also have concerns about seeing a therapist and the stigma of that- meaning can it hurt me for future jobs or be held against me for any reason later? 

Also, when the wife and I were having martial issues years ago I was less then impressed with the 3 different therapists we saw. 

 
STEADYMOBBIN 22 said:
I think I need to change jobs. My work requires faaaar more from me then most jobs. Work piles it o me cause they know (think) I can handle it. I out produce everyone in my position and often do other people's jobs because I do whatever needs to be done, even if it isn't my responsibility. 

I gotta stop that. 
Click to expand...
Work/life balance is huge

I left my dream job for a job that is a lot less stressful three years ago and I rarely regret it.  I get to work remotely quite a bit when I don't have operations, I no longer get 300+ emails a day, and there isn't someone knocking on my door every 10 minutes.  There is peace in that. 

 
STEADYMOBBIN 22 said:
I'm concerned about psychoactive drugs and also have concerns about seeing a therapist and the stigma of that- meaning can it hurt me for future jobs or be held against me for any reason later? 

Also, when the wife and I were having martial issues years ago I was less then impressed with the 3 different therapists we saw. 
Click to expand...
How is an employer going to know you see a shrink?

 
STEADYMOBBIN 22 said:
I'm concerned about psychoactive drugs and also have concerns about seeing a therapist and the stigma of that- meaning can it hurt me for future jobs or be held against me for any reason later? 

Also, when the wife and I were having martial issues years ago I was less then impressed with the 3 different therapists we saw. 
Click to expand...
I went through a period in my life when I suffered from anxiety and stress. Took meds for a while and it definitely helped. It's probably been ten years though and I can't remember what it was I took. 

Didnt need to go to a therapist to get the prescription. 

 
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RokNRole said:
How is an employer going to know you see a shrink?
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I have no idea.

RokNRole said:
I have this problem every night too.

What I find that works most often for me is to just concentrate and make up a song in my head. If you can get the sound vivid enough it may help you pass out.
Click to expand...
My best trick was to invision a hot girl who wore kinky outfits and would do anything. 

Probably explains the things I say and do to my wife in my sleep. She refers to it as "devil ****". 

:lmao:

 
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bigbottom said:
I went through a period in my life when I suffered from anxiety and stress. Took meds for a while and it definitely helped. It's probably been ten years though and I can't remember what it was I took. 

Didnt need to go to a therapist to get the prescription.
Click to expand...


I stopped smoking weed two weeks ago.

 
STEADYMOBBIN 22 said:
I'm concerned about psychoactive drugs and also have concerns about seeing a therapist and the stigma of that- meaning can it hurt me for future jobs or be held against me for any reason later? 

Also, when the wife and I were having martial issues years ago I was less then impressed with the 3 different therapists we saw. 
Click to expand...
The first thing you tell a physiologist/psychiatrist is you don't want drugs that make you feel like you're not yourself.  I have PTSD, and I'm the same as you; no drugs, no mind benders, I want to maintain my edge.  I just wanted to stop beating guys up in the parking lot, so they tried me on a few things and I didn't like them.  Made me drowsy or just lethargic, so I stopped.  They finally gave me something that is mild and just takes that edge off enough to where I don't want to kick everyone's ###.  It's been four years now, I have only been in one fight since (and that dude asked for it).  :shrug:

 
STEADYMOBBIN 22 said:
I have no idea.

My best trick was to invision a hot girl who wore kinky outfits and would do anything. 

Probably explains the things I say and do to my wife in my sleep. She refers to it as "devil ****". 

:lmao:
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My wife had insomnia this morning and woke me up at like 5AM to try to work it out with the secks. I was happy to oblige, though I am tired now since I went to sleep close to 1AM.

Not really really relevant I guess.

Cool story, bro.

 
Doctor Detroit said:
The first thing you tell a physiologist/psychiatrist is you don't want drugs that make you feel like you're not yourself.  I have PTSD, and I'm the same as you; no drugs, no mind benders, I want to maintain my edge.  I just wanted to stop beating guys up in the parking lot, so they tried me on a few things and I didn't like them.  Made me drowsy or just lethargic, so I stopped.  They finally gave me something that is mild and just takes that edge off enough to where I don't want to kick everyone's ###.  It's been four years now, I have only been in one fight since (and that dude asked for it).  :shrug:
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EXACTLY! And so funny.  

 
STEADYMOBBIN 22 said:
Quit smoking weed about two weeks ago. I can't smoke that #### forever. Part of my attempt at "fixing" this. 

I'm by no means depressed or having any thoughts of hurting myself or others...

I just want to sleeeep and compartmentalize some of these thoughts. 
Click to expand...
Take a walk, outside, at night.  No Phone, no electronics, just your thoughts.  Has to be outside.  let your thoughts swim, do not try to discipline them.  Look for no resolutions or accomplishments, just walk.  No sugar of any kind, no caffeine, and no artificial sweeteners after 18:00 hours. If you can stretch for two minutes mid-walk that would be great. Tear one off once and a while.

 
i have the same issue.  exercise helps a lot.

stopping the weed is a good thing, but the detox/withdrawals will  definitely f with your sleep.  for at least 2-3 months

gl bud.  

 
Ditkaless Wonders said:
Take a walk, outside, at night.  No Phone, no electronics, just your thoughts.  Has to be outside.  let your thoughts swim, do not try to discipline them.  Look for no resolutions or accomplishments, just walk.  No sugar of any kind, no caffeine, and no artificial sweeteners after 18:00 hours. If you can stretch for two minutes mid-walk that would be great. Tear one off once and a while.
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Unfortunstly its raining or I so would. Seems like something I should make routine going forward. 

 
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Oh yeah.... and if have to get up to pee in the middle of the night..... it's ovah. No FN chance to get back to bed after I've have anymore then an hours sleep. 

 
Seems lame, but go to a yoga class. 

Sit in a dark room, use a scent diffuser. 

Use an oscillating fan, sit right in front of it and feel the wind and clear your mind.

--

These are my go-to methods when I'm stressed. Use 2 and 3 in combination. 

 
STEADYMOBBIN 22 said:
Unfortunstly its raining or I so would. Seems like something I should make routine going forward. 
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Every night.  Even in the rain.  Hell that may be the best time, the thoughts that  come whirling in the rain washed air. The puddles, puddles like you maybe have not had time to appreciate since you were a kid.  The lights reflecting off wet pavement.  This could not have worked out better.  Even just ten minutes if that's all you have.

 
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STEADYMOBBIN 22 said:
Gonna try that calm app or some Pink Floyd if that doesn't work. 

See you guys in an hour! :kicksrock:
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i find if i put any time constraints or start thinking about what time it is or when i have to get up, i'm ####ed.  i removed the clock from my room, so i don't know what time it is as i lay there trying to get to sleep.

 
Have your Doc check your prostate.  Share the waking to urinate symptom along with the insomnia.  You are not alone and it can pass.  I am confident that in your case it will.  Now go for a stroll. 

 
on the pill front, i'm in agreement with you.  i tried ambien and it caused problems for me.  id say more, but the mods don't like me/anyone talking about it.

 
DA RAIDERS said:
open the window and enjoy the rain.  i always sleep fabulously when it's raining
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The smell of wet dirt with awakening spring growth is a gift.  We knew this as children.  We sometimes forget as adults because we too seldom walk in the rain.  Momma ain't here anymore to tell us not to do exactly what we knew absolutely was a great thing.  So what better time than now.  We don't care what Momma don't allow. Sometimes we walk in the rain. Sometimes we deliberately stomp a puddle, ####'em, those puddles have it coming and we all know it.

 
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