Who has been the most important person in your life? (1 Viewer)

Discuss

Eddie Vedder.

Without me this conversation's over.

Me, myself, and I.

Besides my parents it would be my high school biology teacher.  The guy graduated tops in his class at Harvard and chose to be a public school teacher.  He was an amazing man - a nerdy little scrawny guy from Maine with greasy hair who was the coolest guy in the school.  Not only was he brilliant but he was also a phenomenal teacher.  He won National Teacher of Year while I was there.

He always answered our questions with another question.  It was annoying as hell at first until we realized what he was doing - teaching us to "learn how to learn".  Largely because of him I ended up going to two of the best Universities in the world, but in all my travels I never encountered a teacher even remotely close to him.  He passed away about 15 years ago.  I still think about him at least once a week and it's been over 30 years since I graduated.

My wife..

I had ZERO direction/push/interest/encouragement from my parents on helping me maneuver my way into "Adulthood".. At 18, when I was a senior in High School, when I told them I was going to drop out for a $9/hour job, which compared to friends who were making $4/hour made me "Rich" .. all I got was "I hope you know what your doing, good luck" ...

A year later I met my now wife... After dating her for 6 months she "gently" pushed me to go to the local Technical college to see about getting my High School Diploma.
The Counselor there helped me enroll in their Computer/Electronics Associate degree that started in the Fall explaining that by doing so I could receive my High School Diploma and my College Degree on the same day.

Without her, who knows if I ever would have done anything other then trudged along in one meaningless job after another.

Shuke is up there.  

The guy who invented Hot Pockets

snogger said:

My wife..

I had ZERO direction/push/interest/encouragement from my parents on helping me maneuver my way into "Adulthood".. At 18, when I was a senior in High School, when I told them I was going to drop out for a $9/hour job, which compared to friends who were making $4/hour made me "Rich" .. all I got was "I hope you know what your doing, good luck" ...

A year later I met my now wife... After dating her for 6 months she "gently" pushed me to go to the local Technical college to see about getting my High School Diploma.
The Counselor there helped me enroll in their Computer/Electronics Associate degree that started in the Fall explaining that by doing so I could receive my High School Diploma and my College Degree on the same day.

Without her, who knows if I ever would have done anything other then trudged along in one meaningless job after another.

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No shtick answer I'd agree with this.  While my wife didn't make me a better person as drastically as it appears to be the case for you, she definitely made my life better.  Almost everything in my life that I enjoy is due directly, or indirectly thanks to her.

my babysitter's kid sis Maureen - the toughest girl on the block, mouf like a drunken sailor - and gorgeous beyond belief.  breathtakingly beautiful - stunning.

with the body (folks from the neighborhood back in the day called it "shape") of a Playboy centerfold, to boot. she embodied all that i found so glorious about the opposite sex - and she learned me good - about e'erything a young lad needed and wanted and was dying to know. 

her influence is still hovering over my day to day goings on ... she was an amazing soul, elevated to goddess-like status by so many (mostly us younger guys) - and then she was gone. forever. never got to see her 18th birthday. 

miss that girl. 

My wife. She's 100x better person than I am. She gives me purpose and direction. If she died tomorrow I'd be lost. 

My mom has helped me the most but her father influenced me the most.  I've never seen so much as a picture of my father so he was basically my dad and grandfather. 

"Pop" was the son of Irish/German immigrants. He grew up during the great depression. He was a pacific WW2 vet, carpenter and extremely hard worker. As a kid I spent literally every single day with him. Our summers were spent working in the yard at either his ( also our house since my mon and I lived there too) or at one of the many widows of WW2 vets that didnt make it home.  He taught me so much that I value today. I would give anything just to spend just 10 more minutes with him. 

Id go on and on but I'm balling like an infant already. 

Gee thanks FBGs! 

wife is the correct answer.  Before she entered my life, 2 people.  My grandfather.  Served in WWII, was a standup guy, taught all the right and the wrong things to know.  Never put up with any BS, and more or less made sure I had high expectations for myself and the people around me.   The other was my first ROTC instructor, Capt. Tom Kroeger.   Pretty much was my grandfather at an age of my father.   Totally changed the way I looked at responsibility.

otb_lifer said:

my babysitter's kid sis Maureen - the toughest girl on the block, mouf like a drunken sailor - and gorgeous beyond belief.  breathtakingly beautiful - stunning.

with the body (folks from the neighborhood back in the day called it "shape") of a Playboy centerfold, to boot. she embodied all that i found so glorious about the opposite sex - and she learned me good - about e'erything a young lad needed and wanted and was dying to know. 

her influence is still hovering over my day to day goings on ... she was an amazing soul, elevated to goddess-like status by so many (mostly us younger guys) - and then she was gone. forever. never got to see her 18th birthday. 

miss that girl. 

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Wow. What happened? 

Jesus.  

Especially his early years with the SF Giants. Jesus Alou really made me want to be a major league baseball player when I was little. 

rockaction said:

Wow. What happened? 

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much like so many from that era and that 'hood ? ? supposedly was heavily dusted that night, as well - PCP was just worming it's way in, and her dbag bf Frankie was a big dealer. 

:(

Easily my mother (parents got divorced when I was in kindergarten). She was a strong women throughout my childhood. Although we knew we were poor, she never talked or complained about it. We knew we received food stamps, but my brother and I never knew how really poor we were. She did without, basically her whole life, and in many ways, still does. I still tear up thinking about the year I bought her a winter coat for Christmas and how excited she was. I was probably 17-18 and I didn't get what was the big deal. It was like $125 (circa 1993). At some point, I realized she never had anything that nice. She grew up one of twelve kids, so you can imagine how little they had. She eventually became a CNA, working the rest of her life in nursing homes (she recently retired). Although I'm a terrible son who never calls, I know I am who I am because of her. 

My wife is #1. I was never motivated as a kid, teenager because my life seem destined to be in my step-father's business which I knew like the back of my hand. Once that didn't manifest into what I was going to do with my life, I was aimless. Always worked, and was always a damn good worker, but as long as I was employed and fed, I was content. Once she entered my life, I knew I had to do more. She gave direction and I'm where I am today because of her.

If its not her, I can see a pretty good argument for it being my biological father.

He was a tremendous drunk and, because of it, had himself 6 feet under before I was 6 months old. While I've always been told that he was good guy, happy drunk type, I can't help but think him passing and my mother relocating out of the South Side of Chicago is probably the best thing that could have happened to me.

Cjw_55106 said:

Easily my mother (parents got divorced when I was in kindergarten). She was a strong women throughout my childhood. Although we knew we were poor, she never talked or complained about it. We knew we received food stamps, but my brother and I never knew how really poor we were. She did without, basically her whole life, and in many ways, still does. I still tear up thinking about the year I bought her a winter coat for Christmas and how excited she was. I was probably 17-18 and I didn't get what was the big deal. It was like $125 (circa 1993). At some point, I realized she never had anything that nice. She grew up one of twelve kids, so you can imagine how little they had. She eventually became a CNA, working the rest of her life in nursing homes (she recently retired). Although I'm a terrible son who never calls, I know I am who I am because of her. 

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call her right now and tell her you appreciated her and love her.

MarvinTScamper said:

call her right now and tell her you appreciated her and love her.

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I was just going to type this. Call, dude.  

Easily Mom, if for no other reason than I've done some colossally dumb stuff throughout a privileged life and while disapproving, has always been there to at least listen before, during, and after the time I turned my head into a chemistry set.  

I'm a weird dude, and she hears me out when we talk.  

otb_lifer said:

much like so many from that era and that 'hood ? ? supposedly was heavily dusted that night, as well - PCP was just worming it's way in, and her dbag bf Frankie was a big dealer. 

:(

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Sorry to hear that. Too many lost.  

Wife for me also. Without her I would have dropped out of college and become a general labourer at the local paper mill like five generations of my family before me.  

A path that my generation of brothers and cousins have all taken (those that are even gainfully employed)

my wife, my MIL and my dog (techinically not a person, though I would argue otherwise).......sometimes you learn more thru death that you just didn't realize thru life.

No one biggie. Family were, with one exception who was gone too soon, all examples of what i wanted to avoid being; didnt get much schoolin & paid as little attention as possible; my loves (even my Mary, who this day is lugging my heart thru some spot in downtown Hell) were more puzzles than people; the only person i really wanted to be mentored by died shortly after i got to know him. Some memorables:

Aunt June: My dad was 1 of 10 children, born on a subsistence farm in northernmost VT, son of a halfbreed who made some dough letting out his barn to bootleggers in Prohibition and sent away for a mailorder halfbreed bride so he didnt have to marry a cousin (most of my fam are hydrocephallic droolers or geniuses). The firstborn, most Indian, most beautiful, most brilliant of Da's 3 baby sisters has been my angel all my life. In my baby pictures, i always look like Nixon-on-the-pot, except when my Aunt Junie's holding me and i'm all gurglesgigglesgoogles. June had a short, unlucky life - raped by a farmhand when she was 12. bore its stigma til her early 20s. got leukemia, refused treatment & died three years later. There was an anomaly of a room behind the farmhouse kitchen, which she boarded herself up in when she got diagnosed and virtually wouldnt let anyone in those last few yrs, while she wrote poetry and painted and screamed in pain. Except when we would come home wkends from Da's college. June would pull me into her hovel and play and laugh and hold me in her rocking chair for hours&hours&hours. Still feel her arms and her pain, life has been virtually pointless since she died (the fam tore the house down when she did and no one can talk about her to this day).

Mr. Rabin & Mr. Patkin: I ran away from home the first month of my junior year in high school cuz i knocked up the daughter of a mobbed-up construction boss and his sons (one of whom was later killed by cops after a hi-speed chase cuz there was a pound of blow & a dead 19yo girl in his trunk, so they were were serious folk) were lookin for me. I returned to the Boston area for good at the halfway point of my senior year, but wasnt gonna return home. Thought that meant not going back to school, but i ran into this rich car dealer i used to do odd jobs for and he offered to let me live on his property if i went back to school. Mr Patkin negotiated me going back to school without living w my parents, but they wanted me to make up the extra year and i didnt want to do that. My old teacher, Mr Rabin (cool guy from NYC who shot pool & played piano for a living til he was 40 then went to school to get his teach cert) stepped in and convinced them that a "rigorous" course of independent study lasting through summer school (which, luckily, it was his turn to supervise that yr) would catch me up creditwise, allowing me to technically graduate with my class. My last two papers (i had volunteered w the Panther breakfast program in several cities as a runaway from which i assumed a hubristic load of black cred) were on Fred Hampton & the origin and use of the word "mother####er", so Mr Rabin was pretty hip with me as long as he sensed i was personally serious. He even sponsored me as a teacher's aide for the school's brand new expanded Special Ed dept for the next year, which kept me off the fastfood track and made my great adventures to come possible. When i got kicked out of the music biz, Mr Patkin gave me a 6-month lease on a storefront, some seed money & a grant-writing teacher and told me to set up a program to help kids like me so he wouldnt have to. I did - rated 3rd-best outreach program in MA its 1st year of grant review and still exists. Can't thank them two guys enough.

Numbers: I left him for last cuz i want to write about him but i really dont want to write about him. I learned my biggest life lesson from a serial killer. Hobo camps were still a thing when i was a runaway. There were some parts of the country that were still easier for a longhairhippiefreak to cross by railhopping (cowboy bars across most of the west had bounties for the hair of any hippie and the scalpin was almost as severe as in Indian days) than by hitchhiking and there was food & smokes to be had in the camps. Anyways, i kept running into this guy with long hair and longer winter-fatigue coat named Norm at these camps (first time in NPlatte Neb) and he always wanted to set out with me when i left and it was cool cuz he always could find a joint or a roach (which he called 'numbers') in one of the 147 pockets of that giant coat. He was quiet, personable and very savvy in ways of food & shelter, so very useful to a 16yo runaway. Anyway, this one time, we were set up to sleep under an overpass and i got a pretty bad case of the cold-and-skeerds that youngfolk on their own sometimes get. Numbers knew i was in tough so he found a roach, we each got a puff or two out of it and he told me he had learned in stir how to shut all the bad #### out. I had recently spent 10 days in a Louisiana jail, gettin my ribs kicked out for lunch, just for bein a hippie hitchhiker, so i knew the dramatic sound of a celldoor closing. "Listen for the click", Numbers said "Shut the world out the same way it shuts you in". Took me a while, but i learnt it and use it all the time to this day waiting for a dentist appt or as my nightly sleeper or to close out anything gittin in my way. It's really quite wonderful. Saw him for the last time in a truckstop in Council Bluffs Iowa when he'd chatted himself up a ride to Chicago and didnt want me to come, which sucked cuz it was raining like ####. Next time i was in the NPlatte camp, the hobos were surprised to see me because it turns out Norman liked young boys and it was pretty common knowledge that he raped & killed all them boys stoopid enuff to leave camp w him. Got no answer why he didn't rape & kill me, but that's why i hesitate to write about him (i tried in my story thread years ago and couldnt, so this here is about all you'll hear from me on him). nufced

KCitons said:

My wife. She's 100x better person than I am. She gives me purpose and direction. If she died tomorrow I'd be lost. 

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This.

Wife

First Twenty Years: Mother

Last Twenty+ Years: Wife

KCitons said:

My wife. She's 100x better person than I am. She gives me purpose and direction. If she died tomorrow I'd be lost. 

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This x1000000000000000. Where I am at today has been 1000% because of her support and encouragement. She is everything I aspire to be as a person. Love her so much.

My oldest child. Changed the way I thought about life and the way I approached things. 

KCitons said:

My wife. She's 100x better person than I am. She gives me purpose and direction. If she died tomorrow I'd be lost. 

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This. 

My daughter riley. Her 3 months on earth and subsequent passing taught me how to be a more confident,  loving,  selfless person. I volunteer now for a foundation and became manager to my son's little league team, two things I never thought I'd do in a million years. I don't take #### from anyone and learn that most things people complain about in life are pointless. I've also appreciated my son and my wife more and tell my family I love them more often. Riley made me a better person. 

snogger said:

My wife..

I had ZERO direction/push/interest/encouragement from my parents on helping me maneuver my way into "Adulthood".. At 18, when I was a senior in High School, when I told them I was going to drop out for a $9/hour job, which compared to friends who were making $4/hour made me "Rich" .. all I got was "I hope you know what your doing, good luck" ...

A year later I met my now wife... After dating her for 6 months she "gently" pushed me to go to the local Technical college to see about getting my High School Diploma.
The Counselor there helped me enroll in their Computer/Electronics Associate degree that started in the Fall explaining that by doing so I could receive my High School Diploma and my College Degree on the same day.

Without her, who knows if I ever would have done anything other then trudged along in one meaningless job after another.

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Cool. Good for her, and you. 

Probably Betty Cantor.  GB those boards.

Win Butler and Arcade Fire brought me back from the brink.  They get some credit.

Agree with wife.  Man - if you have a bad life partner it's hard to be happy in life.  And if you have a great one you are so grateful.  Since I sleep next to her every day and she is the #1 person that can make me happy or miserable she's my choice.

I had a fantastic Jr. High coach who was a phenomenal influence.  Mr. Roffler, was a tough, great coach. Lots of life lessons over those 3 years. Showed me what a great family looked like and also introduced me to religion (I'm happy to have some foundation).  6th grade teacher Mr. Lipniski was also very tough.  But the coaches and teachers who see a diamond in the rough and make it shine are the ones you remember.  

Your mom.

shadyridr said:

My daughter riley. Her 3 months on earth and subsequent passing taught me how to be a more confident,  loving,  selfless person. I volunteer now for a foundation and became manager to my son's little league team, two things I never thought I'd do in a million years. I don't take #### from anyone and learn that most things people complain about in life are pointless. I've also appreciated my son and my wife more and tell my family I love them more often. Riley made me a better person. 

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Not enough likes for this.  You're a strong dude.

Cjw_55106 said:

Easily my mother (parents got divorced when I was in kindergarten). She was a strong women throughout my childhood. Although we knew we were poor, she never talked or complained about it. We knew we received food stamps, but my brother and I never knew how really poor we were. She did without, basically her whole life, and in many ways, still does. I still tear up thinking about the year I bought her a winter coat for Christmas and how excited she was. I was probably 17-18 and I didn't get what was the big deal. It was like $125 (circa 1993). At some point, I realized she never had anything that nice. She grew up one of twelve kids, so you can imagine how little they had. She eventually became a CNA, working the rest of her life in nursing homes (she recently retired). Although I'm a terrible son who never calls, I know I am who I am because of her. 

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My mother's like that too. 

And I'd add my father, in a tie with my mother on the "most important".

Spike said:

Cjw_55106 said:

Easily my mother (parents got divorced when I was in kindergarten). She was a strong women throughout my childhood. Although we knew we were poor, she never talked or complained about it. We knew we received food stamps, but my brother and I never knew how really poor we were. She did without, basically her whole life, and in many ways, still does. I still tear up thinking about the year I bought her a winter coat for Christmas and how excited she was. I was probably 17-18 and I didn't get what was the big deal. It was like $125 (circa 1993). At some point, I realized she never had anything that nice. She grew up one of twelve kids, so you can imagine how little they had. She eventually became a CNA, working the rest of her life in nursing homes (she recently retired). Although I'm a terrible son who never calls, I know I am who I am because of her. 

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My mother's like that too. 

And I'd add my father, in a tie with my mother on the "most important".

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:jealous:

My mom..then my wife.  

I contemplated for years leaving a good paying job at Ford to go on my own and use my connections with all the suppliers to sell back to the Big Three, Honda and Toyota. As a buyer I knew how the system worked.  My daughters were younger and we just bought a new house in a nice area and my wife said "Screw it..quit and go for it. If you stay 5 years longer you will be there for life  We will always someway somehow make it if things don`t work out."

First year was tough as I made less than half that I was making before..after 3 years I was making double what I made at Ford and working less hours.  Never would have taken the chance without her support.

KCitons said:

My wife. She's 100x better person than I am. She gives me purpose and direction. If she died tomorrow I'd be lost. 

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Wife 

It's a toss up between my mom and sister for next / pre-wife. My sis is one of those people everyone likes and looks up to, especially me.  I wasn't do much concerned that my parents would find out what I was doing as my sister.  And then it was more seeking her approval.  Glad I went to a different college so I could spread my wings a bit but she's the one I made sure to go see when I had the chance.  

Da Guru said:

My mom..then my wife.  

I contemplated for years leaving a good paying job at Ford to go on my own and use my connections with all the suppliers to sell back to the Big Three, Honda and Toyota. As a buyer I knew how the system worked.  My daughters were younger and we just bought a new house in a nice area and my wife said "Screw it..quit and go for it. If you stay 5 years longer you will be there for life  We will always someway somehow make it if things don`t work out."

First year was tough as I made less than half that I was making before..after 3 years I was making double what I made at Ford and working less hours.  Never would have taken the chance without her support.

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Similar story with me, sans the mom. My wife is the one person I know who has been through as much crap as I have in life, so we are on the same page.

When I was going to quit Honeywell and take out a $20K home equity loan to start our business, she didn't blink an eye. When I had doubts about it, she explained how much I would regret it 10 years later if I didn't do something then. We have a pretty good life now because of that moment.

kutta said:

Similar story with me, sans the mom. My wife is the one person I know who has been through as much crap as I have in life, so we are on the same page.

When I was going to quit Honeywell and take out a $20K home equity loan to start our business, she didn't blink an eye. When I had doubts about it, she explained how much I would regret it 10 years later if I didn't do something then. We have a pretty good life now because of that moment.

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My mother was totally against it and begged me not to.  We grew up without much and my mom thought I was out of my mind to leave a secure job.