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I Love My Wife, But....... (1 Viewer)

ChiefD

ChiefD

Footballguy
Love her dearly. A great person, beautiful, great mother, but....

1. She will not wipe off the counters in the kitchen. If I didn't do it they would never get done. She will clean the kitchen, do the dishes, but never the counters. No idea why.

2. We remodeled the kitchen 2 years ago. Bought some nice stainless steel appliances. Walk in one day, and she is cleaning them with the green scratch pad side of the sponge. Love seeing those scratches on the new appliances day after day.  :wall:

Yet, I never say a word about either of these. Trying to salvage what little sex I still get. Women are great!  :lol:

 
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ChiefD said:
Love her dearly. A great person, beautiful, great mother, but....

1. She will not wipe off the counters in the kitchen. If I didn't do it they would never get done. She will clean the kitchen, do the dishes, but never the counters. No idea why.

2. We remodeled the kitchen 2 years ago. Bought some nice stainless steel appliances. Walk in one day, and she is cleaning them with the green scratch pad side of the sponge. Love seeing those scratches on the new appliances day after day.  :wall:

Yet, I never say a word about either of these. Trying to salvage what little sex I still get. Women are great!  :lol:
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I don't think this is a woman thing, it is a person thing. Ask her why she doesn't clean off the counters, and tell her that scratch pad side is not the side you clean with.  Why wouldn't you say these things to her in the first place?   

 
Maybe you should take the initiative and clean the entire kitchen.  I'm sure both of you would appreciate that.     :shrug:  

 
The person with the highest standards for cleanliness/neatness should be the one carrying out at least the chores specific to meeting that standard.

So go get 'em, Chief!

 
ChiefD said:
Love her dearly. A great person, beautiful, great mother, but....

1. She will not wipe off the counters in the kitchen. If I didn't do it they would never get done. She will clean the kitchen, do the dishes, but never the counters. No idea why.

2. We remodeled the kitchen 2 years ago. Bought some nice stainless steel appliances. Walk in one day, and she is cleaning them with the green scratch pad side of the sponge. Love seeing those scratches on the new appliances day after day.  :wall:

Yet, I never say a word about either of these. Trying to salvage what little sex I still get. Women are great!  :lol:
Click to expand...
She does 90% of the cleaning and you can't bring yourself to do the last 10%?  And you are the one complaining?

 
I have a few complaints but in the spirit of the thread...

Any food item with a screw/twist top, she places the top on, but never actually twists the top closed. Instead it teeters on the top of the bottle or jar, waiting patiently for its next victim who lifts the bottle/jar and all the contents spill all over the place. 

I have come accustomed to her traps but it's still annoying. And stupid. Very stupid. 

 
ChiefD said:
Love her dearly. A great person, beautiful, great mother, but....

1. She will not wipe off the counters in the kitchen. If I didn't do it they would never get done. She will clean the kitchen, do the dishes, but never the counters. No idea why.

2. We remodeled the kitchen 2 years ago. Bought some nice stainless steel appliances. Walk in one day, and she is cleaning them with the green scratch pad side of the sponge. Love seeing those scratches on the new appliances day after day.  :wall:

Yet, I never say a word about either of these. Trying to salvage what little sex I still get. Women are great!  :lol:
Click to expand...
Isn't it something what men will put up with for a lil nookie? :lol:

 
Just apply what I tell myself about my wife - if she was smarter/cleaner/more frugal/less crazy she probably wouldn't have married me to begin with.

 
In the spirit of the thread, mine gets upset lately if we spend any money outside the strict budget she's decided we need to live on.  I've told her I'm on board with saving money and spending intentionally but she's ridiculous about it.  

That and her lack of sex drive are my only complaints. 

 
You can't discuss things like this with the person you've chosen to spend the rest of your life with?  Beyond strange. 

 
My wife leaves clumps of hair in the shower every day. Like she's washing her hair and when she's done she has all this hair that came off and she just smears it on the nearest shower wall.

I've made several gentle requests to stop doing it but yesterday i told her flat out that it was no different than peeing on the toilet seat and walking away. She actually sounded remorseful and I'm optimistic it might stop.

 
simey said:
Why wouldn't you say these things to her in the first place?   
Click to expand...
I would like to respond to this in general terms.

My wife has no problem confronting me about trivial things like this, but she also confronts me on bigger issues such as parenting our children. She will criticize the way that I handle things, how I treat each child differently, etc. And It basically boils down to the fact that she doesn't like the way that I do it. And every time she does this, we get into a heated discussion. And I have to admit that it makes me very angry. It's not that I have necessarily done anything wrong... it's just that she disagrees with how I handled it, or that she would have handled it a different way, or that I should handled it in a better way.

Imagine if I criticized her every time I disagreed with the way she does something. It would be a nightmare. And that's not why I don't do it. I don't do it because I know that we are two different personalities and two different ways of parenting. My wife is a pushover, and it makes me crazy. She does not apply consequences as harshly as I do. And as a result, the kids take advantage of that. And then my wife gets frustrated when the kids treat her with disrespect. But I would never criticize for how she deals with the kids. She knows why they treat her that way. I do not need to make matters worse. But somehow, it seems OK for my wife to do it to me.

But this explanation also applies to stupid stuff like cleaning counters too.

 
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tonydead said:
You can't discuss things like this with the person you've chosen to spend the rest of your life with?  Beyond strange. 
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I don't know the personality of his wife but some things are just not worth arguing over.  That's why my suggestion for him was to just clean the damn kitchen himself.  When I don't like the way my wife does something, I do it myself.  It keeps us both happy.  

 
SkyRattlers said:
My wife leaves clumps of hair in the shower every day. Like she's washing her hair and when she's done she has all this hair that came off and she just smears it on the nearest shower wall.

I've made several gentle requests to stop doing it but yesterday i told her flat out that it was no different than peeing on the toilet seat and walking away. She actually sounded remorseful and I'm optimistic it might stop.
Click to expand...
My wife does this as well and now I just make her clean that bathroom.  I used to clean all the bathrooms.  

 
STEADYMOBBIN 22 said:
I have a few complaints but in the spirit of the thread...

Any food item with a screw/twist top, she places the top on, but never actually twists the top closed. Instead it teeters on the top of the bottle or jar, waiting patiently for its next victim who lifts the bottle/jar and all the contents spill all over the place. 

I have come accustomed to her traps but it's still annoying. And stupid. Very stupid. 
Click to expand...
My wife does this all the time, but will twist it on with about a 1/20th rotation. 

I'm a big "wash stuff right away, then into the dishwasher" guy. My wife will put stuff down and get to it later, never letting it get too full but definitely not in a rush to clean it. It used to bother me, but then I realized that is my own issue, not hers. Why should she have to change her behavior to match what I want? If it piled into a disgusting mess, that's another story. Picking your battles sometimes sounds like just a method to avoid confrontation but it also helps you realize when things really matter and when it's your personal annoyances that bother you. Life is too short. 

 
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fred_1_15301 said:
I don't know the personality of his wife but some things are just not worth arguing over.  That's why my suggestion for him was to just clean the damn kitchen himself.  When I don't like the way my wife does something, I do it myself.  It keeps us both happy.  
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Just seems to me a more healthy relationship is one where things that aren't worth arguing over don't get argued over when discussed.  Why would you choose a life partner that likes to argue with you when you're trying to communicate with her your likes or dislikes?  

 
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tonydead said:
Just seems to me a more healthy relationship is one where things that aren't worth arguing over don't get argued over when discussed.  Why would you choose a life partner that likes to argue with you when you're trying to communicate with her your likes or dislikes?  
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I should add that there are different grades of "arguing".  I would consider this to be something that would invoke a very minor argument and IMO not worth starting.  We're all humans and we have different philosophies on how things should be done.  I think you could still be in a very healthy relationship when you let little things like this go.  Perhaps his wife believes that she is doing it correct.  IMO the better solution is for him to just clean the kitchen himself (especially if it bothers him).  

 
I say leave #1 alone but would put the kibosh on #2.

My opinion is similar to others expressed that some things are too trivial to bring up (esp when she's cleaning up the kitchen in all other aspects). Sure, you should be able to discuss these things with your spouse but just because you can doesn't mean you should. 

#2 is another story because the surface is being ruined.

 
Those are your biggest complaints???   You are a man I assume.  Let the little things roll off you.  Otherwise, you are a woman.  And just rub one out to some pron.

I love my wife, but "she talks to damn much".

 
fred_1_15301 said:
I should add that there are different grades of "arguing".  I would consider this to be something that would invoke a very minor argument and IMO not worth starting.  We're all humans and we have different philosophies on how things should be done.  I think you could still be in a very healthy relationship when you let little things like this go.  Perhaps his wife believes that she is doing it correct.  IMO the better solution is for him to just clean the kitchen himself (especially if it bothers him).  
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Sure.  But, withholding sex isn't very minor to me and again seems unhealthy.  I can agree with the cleaning of the counters, but, scratching new stainless appliances warrants a discussion imo.

 
My wife is usually great but she loves to make little deals into big deals.  Like seemingly innocuous "slights" she gets fired up about and just can't let them go.  And if I have to hear about her conversation with her mother and how her mother didn't ask about this or her mother said this and can you believe it, I may just have to continue to try to talk reason to her.

Never works though.

 
James Daulton said:
My wife is usually great but she loves to make little deals into big deals.  Like seemingly innocuous "slights" she gets fired up about and just can't let them go.  And if I have to hear about her conversation with her mother and how her mother didn't ask about this or her mother said this and can you believe it, I may just have to continue to try to talk reason to her.

Never works though.
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inevitably, if my wife and I argue, it ends with her saying that I'm yelling at her (I'm not) or I'm being "rude" (possible, but usually just me stating my opinion)

Like most people, she doesn't like it when she doesn't get her way.  I probably do similar things when I don't.

 
my gf is a saint ... she does amazing work with the developmentally disabled all day (some dodgy commutes, to boot), handles 90+% of the legwork during the week for our daughter ... then gets to deal with all of my wonderful, dbag charms as a bonus!!1!   :wub:

BUT SHE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO CLEAN MY SUNDAY GRAVY POT PROPERLY, AND OVERCOOKS MY CAVATELLI ON OCCASION!

#####! 

:unsure:

 
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My wife doesn't clean.  Like, at all.  We have two young kids and I swear she leaves more of a mess behind than they do.  If I let it out house would look like a frat house the morning after a party.

So yeah, not feeling so bad for you about the countertops.

 
fred_1_15301 said:
I don't know the personality of his wife but some things are just not worth arguing over.  That's why my suggestion for him was to just clean the damn kitchen himself.  When I don't like the way my wife does something, I do it myself.  It keeps us both happy.  
Click to expand...
So many ways to go with this......  

 
Tom Skerritt said:
simey said:
Why wouldn't you say these things to her in the first place?   
Click to expand...
I would like to respond to this in general terms.

My wife has no problem confronting me about trivial things like this, but she also confronts me on bigger issues such as parenting our children. She will criticize the way that I handle things, how I treat each child differently, etc. And It basically boils down to the fact that she doesn't like the way that I do it. And every time she does this, we get into a heated discussion. And I have to admit that it makes me very angry. It's not that I have necessarily done anything wrong... it's just that she disagrees with how I handled it, or that she would have handled it a different way, or that I should handled it in a better way.

Imagine if I criticized her every time I disagreed with the way she does something. It would be a nightmare. And that's not why I don't do it. I don't do it because I know that we are two different personalities and two different ways of parenting. My wife is a pushover, and it makes me crazy. She does not apply consequences as harshly as I do. And as a result, the kids take advantage of that. And then my wife gets frustrated when the kids treat her with disrespect. But I would never criticize for how she deals with the kids. She knows why they treat her that way. I do not need to make matters worse. But somehow, it seems OK for my wife to do it to me.

But this explanation also applies to stupid stuff like cleaning counters too.
Click to expand...
I don't think telling someone they are using the wrong side of a sponge pad is criticizing them. I would think she doesn't realize she is supposed to use the other side. I doubt she purposely wants her new appliances scratched up.

 
MarvinTScamper said:
inevitably, if my wife and I argue, it ends with her saying that I'm yelling at her (I'm not) or I'm being "rude" (possible, but usually just me stating my opinion)

Like most people, she doesn't like it when she doesn't get her way.  I probably do similar things when I don't.
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Frankly this would be more of a problem than most things listed in this thread.  I guess it depends how she says it but the response seems condescending. 

 
The thread reminds me of the last time we got into a real argument.  She keeps a sponge and a dishcloth on the sink.  I (erroneously) assumed the dishcloth was for dishes.  Turns out, and this is after 20 years of being together so maybe I'm just not paying attention, that the cloth is for wiping down counters and is NEVER TO BE USED FOR DISHES! :confused:

I'm like "honey, it's a dishcloth", she got upset about this and when her mom came to visit brought it up.  Now, I love her mom really, and to her credit she didn't want to get involved, but apparently her whole family uses dishcloths on the counter, never dishes. 

 
fred_1_15301 said:
My wife does this as well and now I just make her clean that bathroom.  I used to clean all the bathrooms.  
Click to expand...
My main issue though is that she wakes up and showers first, which means every time I step into the shower there is a nice fresh bit of wall fur. 

 
SkyRattlers said:
My wife leaves clumps of hair in the shower every day. Like she's washing her hair and when she's done she has all this hair that came off and she just smears it on the nearest shower wall.

I've made several gentle requests to stop doing it but yesterday i told her flat out that it was no different than peeing on the toilet seat and walking away. She actually sounded remorseful and I'm optimistic it might stop.
Click to expand...
Yeah that #### freaks me out. :X  

 
Tom Skerritt said:
I would like to respond to this in general terms.

My wife has no problem confronting me about trivial things like this, but she also confronts me on bigger issues such as parenting our children. She will criticize the way that I handle things, how I treat each child differently, etc. And It basically boils down to the fact that she doesn't like the way that I do it. And every time she does this, we get into a heated discussion. And I have to admit that it makes me very angry. It's not that I have necessarily done anything wrong... it's just that she disagrees with how I handled it, or that she would have handled it a different way, or that I should handled it in a better way.

Imagine if I criticized her every time I disagreed with the way she does something. It would be a nightmare. And that's not why I don't do it. I don't do it because I know that we are two different personalities and two different ways of parenting. My wife is a pushover, and it makes me crazy. She does not apply consequences as harshly as I do. And as a result, the kids take advantage of that. And then my wife gets frustrated when the kids treat her with disrespect. But I would never criticize for how she deals with the kids. She knows why they treat her that way. I do not need to make matters worse. But somehow, it seems OK for my wife to do it to me.

But this explanation also applies to stupid stuff like cleaning counters too.
Click to expand...
Wow.  Makes counter tops seem pretty insignificant.  

 
FreeBaGeL said:
My wife doesn't clean.  Like, at all.  We have two young kids and I swear she leaves more of a mess behind than they do.  If I let it out house would look like a frat house the morning after a party.

So yeah, not feeling so bad for you about the countertops.
Click to expand...
This.  SAHM that did nothing all day but smoke cigarettes and play Candy Crush.  Asking her to take 15 minutes a day to straighten up the clutter she created was apparently too much to ask.  I actually scrubbed toilets on my birthday one year because she invited her family over and they hadn't been cleaned in weeks.  I'm divorcing her as we speak.    

So, yeah, sorry about your counters.  

 
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