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Strip Club Tips: #1 Avoid Buffets, Can Lead to Diarrhea On Stage (1 Viewer)

Bozeman Bruiser

Footballguy
http://www.borderherald.com/tainted-buffet-jacksonville-strip-club-blamed-severe-diarrhea-incident-stage/

The esteemed news site in the link won't let me cut and paste quotes here. 

Cliffs:

Last Friday a few gentlemen were enjoying a show when it started to smell like burrito farts. Then a young lady on stage who is working her way through Medical School shot brown liquid all over the stage, and her high heels. A few minutes later the other studious, yet seductive, beauties on stage began to spray from their ani. It sounds like a disgusting re-enactment of the pie eating contest from Stand By Me because eventually gentlemen in the crowd rushed to the facilities and covered the sinks, urinals, floors and possibly each other with liquid feces.

After investigating the matter it has been determined that tainted buffet food was the culprit. Specifically shrimp.

Be careful guys next time you are at the Strip Club, you must always watch what you eat at those places. 

Feel free to share any other Strip Club Tips. 

(And before someone cries "fake news", I did verify that two of the other hard to believe stories on their site actually happened ....... not recently but they did happen)

 
Food and strip clubs don't mix, never have mixed no matter how healthy the food is, is indicia of amateur hour number one. Don't care how posh the setting, the strippers nor the customers shall eat. 

It should be a hard and fast rule for this reason alone. Oh, and farting, too. Forget diarrhea potential. Farting is bad enough. 

Sorry. There's limits to fantasy, and farting and ####ting isn't among them.  

 
Never get so drunk that you start dancing seductively with each girl that comes by offering a table dance. A few of the girls might be amused but management REALLY frowns on that sort of thing.

 
If a Hispanic stripper walks up to you and says "Propina?", she is asking for a tip.

Look on the club's website for a possible free admission or free drink coupon.

Be nice and respectful to everyone from the bouncers to the dancers to the other patrons. Some unsavory characters are present at strip clubs...be aware of your surroundings and don't cause a situation. 

 :baller:

 
I'm sure I've told the story in here of when I went to the Acropolis in Portland with a professor while we were in town post producing a film. While I was paying attention  to the ladies he was seduced by the menu scroll on the electric sign. He kept saying "12 egg omelette, $4.99! How is that even possible!" I stuck to bottled beer thank you. 

 
If a Hispanic stripper walks up to you and says "Propina?", she is asking for a tip.

Look on the club's website for a possible free admission or free drink coupon.

Be nice and respectful to everyone from the bouncers to the dancers to the other patrons. Some unsavory characters are present at strip clubs...be aware of your surroundings and don't cause a situation. 

 :baller:
So when I answered that my penis still had amateur status that was the wrong answer?

 
I have had a decent prime rib at crystal city restaurant for under $10.  
I was just going to post exactly this. Of course, that was many years ago. I actually went to a wedding party there. One of the waitresses married a friend of mine. All of the strippers attended wearing nice gowns, dresses, etc. Guys were calling them by their stage names and had to be corrected.

 
Not paying for a lap dance is frowned upon in many establishments. You will be asked to leave, sometimes nicely sometimes you will be fighting to get to the door. If you plan it usually can get away before serious entanglements,  dine and dash scenario. 

 
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I'm sure I've told the story in here of when I went to the Acropolis in Portland with a professor while we were in town post producing a film. While I was paying attention  to the ladies he was seduced by the menu scroll on the electric sign. He kept saying "12 egg omelette, $4.99! How is that even possible!" I stuck to bottled beer thank you. 
Ate the steak there with my gb gm, skipped the salad bar. This was after roller derby so of course when the waitress asked if we'd like a pitcher of beer we said yes, a pitcher for each please.

 
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Yeah, there has been no mention of this locally. The leading contender for this did get shut down temporarily a couple months ago. But that was for selling meth to an undercover officer.

 
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If you go back for a private dance remember the meter is running for every song (or every piece of every song).  Also, put a post it note on your debit card that says "dude, time to go home (or Taco Bell)"

 
If you go back for a private dance remember the meter is running for every song (or every piece of every song).  Also, put a post it note on your debit card that says "dude, time to go home (or Taco Bell)"
:goodposting:

I learned this the hard way once.  I just thought the chick was into me or something and wanted to keep grinding instead of having go go saddle up on some slob but alas she tried to hit me up for $100 at the end of the session.  Peeked in my wallet and told her I only had $60 which she promptly snatched and stormed off

 

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