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What is the laziest thing you have ever seen or done? (1 Viewer)

msudaisy26

msudaisy26

Footballguy
What is it?

Mine was in college, my roommate and I didn't feel like walking the rest of the way back from class so we went into the local pizza place and ordered a pizza to deliver and got a ride back. 

 
In college, my buddy Fat Rob and I were watching football for like 10 hours straight.  We were on opposite couches, neither of us wanted to get up.  Somehow, we convinced one of Fat Rob's roommates to bring us a bag of chips that we shared by tossing the bag back and forth.  Eventually, the bag got stuck halfway between us.  Rather than get up, i took off my belt (apparently I was still in yesterday's clothes as that couch is where I typically ended up crashing), fashioned it into a lasso and managed to snare the chips back to within reach.

Later that night Fat Rob successfully convinced the neighbor girls to go to McDonalds for us.  

Neither of us legitimately got off the couch between the 1:00 and 8:30 games. 

It was glorious.

 
When I set the time to cook in my microwave instead of putting in 1:00, I put in 1:11 because it was easier to just keep my finger on the 1.

 
Off the top of my head texting my wife  to bring me a beer (she was upstairs,  I was downstairs) 

Or maybe wiping my hands on the dog because I didn't want to get up and grab a paper towel

 
When I see able-bodied people just standing on the moving sidewalk thing at the airport, I envision them having plenty of things to post in this thread.

 
In law school I was too lazy to go to the laundromat and too lazy to fold clothing. 

So I had rotating piles of clothes on my bedroom floor based on levels of stench and times worn. If a pile seemed old I'd let it sit for a week, assume to "aired out" and consider it a "fresh" pile. 

 
Zow said:
In law school I was too lazy to go to the laundromat and too lazy to fold clothing. 

So I had rotating piles of clothes on my bedroom floor based on levels of stench and times worn. If a pile seemed old I'd let it sit for a week, assume to "aired out" and consider it a "fresh" pile. 
Click to expand...
:shrug:

Folding clothes is for fools

 
Delivery groceries. I got a move in coupon for 20 off instacart and was in for a grocery order. I figured I'd just tip the delivery guy. It was an older lady, and of course on top of everything I ordered I ordered a 30 pack of water from Costco that she was dying carrying to my 3rd floor walk up. I took it from her as soon as I saw her walking up before the stairs, tipped about 40 that I chalked up to ahole tax, and deleted the app.

 
I don't know that I'd call it lazy... maybe creative?

One time I was filling gas and this little pickup pulls up to the pump with a loud generator running in the box. It was powering a small window AC which was mounted in the back sliding gas window of the cab. Apparently the guy's AC went out in his truck and this was his cheap workaround.

 
I think I've put more work into being lazy than if I had just done the task in the first place.

One time when we were kids, my brother & I decided we didn't want to do the chores my father was sure to assign us when he got home from work. So, we took baths, put on our pajamas, and went to bed - at 3 p.m. I remember pretending to be asleep when he got home and the look of disgust on his face. Our master plan didn't work.

eta: Mom let us do it, too. She would usually say stuff like "you can get a head start on your chores before Dad comes home" - which made sense, but we would usually have none of it. This time, she must have thought "ok, you little ####s - let's see how THIS works for ya".

 
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moleculo said:
In college, my buddy Fat Rob and I were watching football for like 10 hours straight.  We were on opposite couches, neither of us wanted to get up.  Somehow, we convinced one of Fat Rob's roommates to bring us a bag of chips that we shared by tossing the bag back and forth.  Eventually, the bag got stuck halfway between us.  Rather than get up, i took off my belt (apparently I was still in yesterday's clothes as that couch is where I typically ended up crashing), fashioned it into a lasso and managed to snare the chips back to within reach.

Later that night Fat Rob successfully convinced the neighbor girls to go to McDonalds for us.  

Neither of us legitimately got off the couch between the 1:00 and 8:30 games. 

It was glorious.
Click to expand...
Adult diapers?  

 
Many years ago I ordered pizza and a 2-liter of coke from Dominos and told the person taking the order to have the driver get the spare key from a fake rock in the front, unlock the door, and bring the pizza in back because it's being delivered to someone who's severely injured and can't come to the door.  When the driver did, I pretended I couldn't come get it from him and tipped well.  He was very helpful and got me a cup of ice from the kitchen and some paper towels.  

That same weekend I lost the remote and watched 7 straight hours of Bonanza.

Edit: why did I think Bonanza had an exclamation point after it in the title?

 
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From reddit.  This one takes the cake:

Late to the party but this one is too good to pass up: I was once on a US military ship, having breakfast in the wardroom (officers lounge) when the Operations Officer (OPS) walks in. This guy was the definition of NOT a morning person; he's still half asleep, bleary eyed... basically a zombie with a bagel. He sits down across from me to eat his bagel and is just barely conscious. My back is to the outboard side of the ship, and the morning sun is blazing in one of the portholes putting a big bright-### circle of light right on his barely conscious face. He's squinting and chewing and basically just remembering how to be alive for today. It's painful to watch. But then zombie-OPS stops chewing, slowly picks up the phone, and dials the bridge. In his well-known I'm-still-totally-asleep voice, he says "heeeey. It's OPS. Could you... shift our barpat... yeah, one six five. Thanks." And puts the phone down. And then he just sits there. Squinting. Waiting. And then, ever so slowly, I realize that that big blazing spot of sun has begun to slide off the zombie's face and onto the wall behind him. After a moment it clears his face and he blinks slowly a few times and the brilliant beauty of what I've just witnessed begins to overwhelm me. By ordering the bridge to adjust the ship's back-and-forth patrol by about 15 degrees, he's changed our course just enough to reposition the sun off of his face. He's literally just redirected thousands of tons of steel and hundreds of people so that he could get the sun out of his eyes while he eats his bagel. I am in awe. He slowly picks up his bagel and for a moment I'm terrified at the thought that his own genius may escape him, that he may never appreciate the epic brilliance of his laziness (since he's not going to wake up for another hour). But between his next bites he pauses, looks at me, and gives me the faintest, sly grin, before returning to gnaw slowly on his zombie bagel.
Click to expand...

 
Dentist said:
Adult diapers?  
Click to expand...
Honestly, it was  after a long night of hard drinking, as was our custom at the time.  I was pretty dehydrated.  Probably took care of business before the games started and it hurt my head too much to get up.  Fat Rob's roommates kept coming in and out and scowling at us for not moving.

I wish I could say this wasn't a common occurrence.  Some days we were just more successful at sloth than others.

I should add: TV viewing has never been better than it was on Sundays in the fall in the late 90's.  Pregame-> football->football->NFL primetime when Berman was still fresh. Immediately after that, simpsons->king of the hill->X files (while flipping to the late game during commercials).

 
Even though the fridge is within 15 feet, during NFL season, I will often pack a cooler with beer and (who am I kidding) more beer and position it near the couch so I don';t have to get up and miss something,

(and yes, I have a DVR  :bag: ) 

 
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msudaisy26 said:
OMG, we need more of these!
Click to expand...




I have a dog and a cat, and I HATE sleeping with the door open. Sometimes dog wants to sleep in the bedroom, sometimes dog wants to sleep outside the bedroom. But he never decides until I'm comfy in bed. Solution? Keep a laser pointer on my nightstand. Once dog decides where he's sleeping, I'll shine the laser pointer on the door so that my cat paws it closed. It has now become a routine that my cat will wait by the door for the laser before laying down.
Click to expand...

 
I just asked my husband this question and he said "This one time I just married this chick because she had a lot of crap and I was too lazy to move it out of my house."

How nice. 

 
moleculo said:
In college, my buddy Fat Rob and I were watching football for like 10 hours straight.  We were on opposite couches, neither of us wanted to get up.  Somehow, we convinced one of Fat Rob's roommates to bring us a bag of chips that we shared by tossing the bag back and forth.  Eventually, the bag got stuck halfway between us.  Rather than get up, i took off my belt (apparently I was still in yesterday's clothes as that couch is where I typically ended up crashing), fashioned it into a lasso and managed to snare the chips back to within reach.

Later that night Fat Rob successfully convinced the neighbor girls to go to McDonalds for us.  

Neither of us legitimately got off the couch between the 1:00 and 8:30 games. 

It was glorious.
Click to expand...
12/5 odds Fat Rob currently has diabetes

 
I have a tape measure on a table next to the side of my couch I usually sit on which I use to hook items from the far side of the couch and pull over to me. Works especially well on my PS 4 controller.

 
I am also guilty of having used the dog to wipe my hands because I didn't want to get up to get a napkin.  It was after eating a pile of bacon too.  I felt bad for the guy.  He could SMELL the bacon, he just couldn't figure out where it was. As I sat in my recliner watching football he was busy turning around in a circle trying to find it. :bag:

 
Often I don't want to walk to the laundry room so I wash a pair of boxers in the bathroom sink and hang dry them for the next day.

 
Laziest thing I have ever done...

...automatically labeled those I disagree with as "stupid".

Yeah, "stupid" exists, but it is not as prevalent as the times it is tossed.

Just my opinion///

...and it my be a stupid one. :shrug:

 
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