I think you just don't understand what it is, hence your formal decision to be condescending and ignorant.
Bitcoin is skyrocketing because of the forthcoming segwit-2x hard fork. People are expecting another jump in btc like happened last time after the Bitcoin Cash fork (where it traded around 2500 before and 5k after). There's also a Bitcoin Gold fork happening on the 25th, which seems kind of weird and scammy to me, but I've not read much about it. Money is flying out of alts into Bitcoin in anticipation of this. The money will come back when there is a massive sell-off after the segwit2x fork sometime in November, when people decide which chain of Bitcoin will be the dominant one (likely 2x going forward in 2017). It's worth noting that Coinbase will open up access to its users that held Bitcoin during the August 1st hard fork to their rightful share of Bitcoin Cash by 2018. No telling how this will affect the prices for the different Bitcoin chains.
Ethereum is staying put for now but will have its moment in the sun soon enough. People hardly even know what it is yet. There's a small fraction of people that if you ask them about Bitcoin, will know what you're talking about. There's that much smaller of a segment who have ever heard of Ethereum. Yet somehow Microsoft, JP Morgan, BP, Credit Suisse, Intel, Cisco, Deloitte, ING, MasterCard, Samsung, Toyota, and UBS seem to know what it is so I'm sure it's a huge tulip fad.
I'll step out on a limb a bit and say it'll hit $450-500 sometime by year's end.