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Wife hired help for a party we are throwing (1 Viewer)

S

Snickers

Footballguy
I'm in a current dispute with my wife over a party we are having this weekend. We have roughly 25-30 people coming, mostly couples. The party is at night, we are not serving a dinner but will that various appetizers but nothing too heavy. My wife hired the nanny of our friends to work the party, help serve people drinks and clean up. I've told her that I think it is totally unneccessary and somewhat pretentious. She thinks it would just take the burden off of us as hosts and we can just enjoy ourselves for the evening instead of making sure everyone else is having a good time. Typically I'm the one that makes sure everyone has what they need to drink and almost always I pull myself out of whatever drunken stupor I'm in at the end of the night and do all the cleaning so we wake up to a clean house in the morning. I'm going to make a big thing in sangria, we will have lots of craft beer and tons of wine. I suspect no more than a few folks will opt for the various mixed drink options we will have available. I would think after getting everyone their initial drink that most folks will be self-sufficient. We have a room in the house with a bar and it will be a pretty easy set up. Normally, I would have to make a bunch of trips to our garage fridge to replenish the beers for the bar, open up new bottles of wine and make a few drinks. 

We are not fighting about it, just agreeing to disagree right now which pretty much means my wife will get her way. She thinks I've brought it up too late and thinks it is rude to cancel on our friend's nanny so late (party is this Saturday). Granted, the nanny is a cute little college spinner but it still seems like something we don't need. 

 
Get drunk and have sex after the party.   With the wife...or the nanny.  Maybe both, see how it goes.  

 
Ditkaless Wonders said:
Its a trap.
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Thought has crossed my mind. I'm probably in a no win situation with the nanny, I will hear it if I'm too nice/flirty with her, I will hear it if I was cold/rude with her and I will hear it if I ignored her. 

Thinking I just let her serve me a drink, drop her a $20 bill and give her a little tap on the bum while telling her to come back every 10 minutes with a fresh one and a smile.

 
Snickers said:
Thought has crossed my mind. I'm probably in a no win situation with the nanny, I will hear it if I'm too nice/flirty with her, I will hear it if I was cold/rude with her and I will hear it if I ignored her. 

Thinking I just let her serve me a drink, drop her a $20 bill and give her a little tap on the bum while telling her to come back every 10 minutes with a fresh one and a smile.
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Solid plan that can only be enhanced by calling her Sugar Britches.

 
Seen it before. Rarely turns out well.

Now the burden of being hosts will be replaced by the burden of being an employer. 

Your wife will be looking over her shoulder every 2-3 minutes making sure this person is doing what she’s supposed to instead of paying attention to the guests.

 
Shoot the lock off your wallet and enjoy the party.  The nanny will primarily ease the burden on your wife which will provide tertiary benefits to you.

 
Limp Ditka said:
Seen it before. Rarely turns out well.

Now the burden of being hosts will be replaced by the burden of being an employer. 

Your wife will be looking over her shoulder every 2-3 minutes making sure this person is doing what she’s supposed to instead of paying attention to the guests.
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Oh bull####.  If your wife does this, then she needs to be retrained.  I've done it dozens of times and it always turns out well.  If you hire a good, hard working person and provide some direction prior to the start, everything will be peaches.

 
chet said:
Oh bull####.  If your wife does this, then she needs to be retrained.  I've done it dozens of times and it always turns out well.  If you hire a good, hard working person and provide some direction prior to the start, everything will be peaches.
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My wife wouldn’t hire someone in the first place, so she’s trained just fine, thank you. If she thought it was too many people to handle, she’s scale down the guests before the invites were even sent. 

 
Limp Ditka said:
My wife wouldn’t hire someone in the first place, so she’s trained just fine, thank you. If she thought it was too many people to handle, she’s scale down the guests before the invites were even sent. 
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So your wife will never have a party where she needs someone to help because she'd be hovering over them to ensure she was getting good value for her $20/hour?  Sounds ideal.

 
chet said:
So your wife will never have a party where she needs someone to help because she'd be hovering over them to ensure she was getting good value for her $20/hour?  Sounds ideal.
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What part of ‘my wife wouldn’t hire someone in the first place’ makes you think this is how she’d act if she did actually hire someone?

She wouldn’t hire someone because she knows, from doing it countless times, that we’re more than capable of handling a party of 25-30 people on our own while still having a good time. 

 
We've done this a bunch of times for big parties; for the bigger ones even had a local place come in and cater out of our kitchen, and a local bartender sets up out back and serves drinks.  Makes it so much nicer for us to not have to deal with all that, and just focus on the guests and party.  

As I grow older, I'm becoming a huge fan of staffing up.  Relieves the stress on everyone if you can do it.  I pay a landscaper to handle all that stuff.  My wife stays home, but we started getting help in a few days a week.  Someone to help with the cooking, cleaning, keeping an eye on the kids so my wife gets a break here and there. We also pay a crew of cleaners to come in once every two weeks for a top fo bottom house cleaning.  She ends up in a better mood and, and in turn I get to be in a better mood.

 
Snickers said:
Thought has crossed my mind. I'm probably in a no win situation with the nanny, I will hear it if I'm too nice/flirty with her, I will hear it if I was cold/rude with her and I will hear it if I ignored her. 

Thinking I just let her serve me a drink, drop her a $20 bill and give her a little tap on the bum while telling her to come back every 10 minutes with a fresh one and a smile.
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Then this situation is just a minor look into a much bigger problem. If you think your wife is trying to trap you with having some help, then I don’t know what to tell you. 

25-30 people is a lot. I’m not sure I know 30 people I would want coming to my house under any circumstance.  I see no problem with hiring someone on the surface. Why can’t your wife enjoy the party while Mary poppins throws plates away?

 
bigmarc27 said:
Then this situation is just a minor look into a much bigger problem. If you think your wife is trying to trap you with having some help, then I don’t know what to tell you. 

25-30 people is a lot. I’m not sure I know 30 people I would want coming to my house under any circumstance.  I see no problem with hiring someone on the surface. Why can’t your wife enjoy the party while Mary poppins throws plates away?
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Well, as I thought I made clear in my original post that the nanny would mostly be helping me out more than my wife as I tend to be responsible for the lion share of hosting duties. I don't think the help is needed. Pretty sure my wife will get her way here though.

 
Someone's wife wants to waste money.  Shocker.

Though not nearly as wasteful as the wives who only clean up around the house right before the cleaning crew arrives.  

Have the cute lil thing sling drinks and clean when people leave, absorb the minor financial loss, and allow yourself to enjoy the evening more because of it. 

Problem is, once this happens there is no going back.  You will have hired help for every party you ever throw again.  

 
We had a party for my wife's bday for about 40 people and paid for help with set up and clean up.  It was well worth it not to have to think about taking garbage out, cleaning up drinks, putting out new trays of appetizers, etc. and focusing on just having fun.

 
How much is the nanny going to cost you?    With the amount of money you're going to drop on booze, I can't see why another hundo is going to matter and no one is going to thinking any less of you b/c you have a single person helping you out with the party.   Easy call.

 
In. 

Hiring help for a party is just foreign to me. Never thought about it before. We've hosted plenty of parties before and my wife and I have always shared the duties. Our friends and family are pretty self sufficient in being able to get their own drinks, serve their own food, and throw away their own trash.

 
Limp Ditka said:
What part of ‘my wife wouldn’t hire someone in the first place’ makes you think this is how she’d act if she did actually hire someone?

She wouldn’t hire someone because she knows, from doing it countless times, that we’re more than capable of handling a party of 25-30 people on our own while still having a good time. 
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:lol:

No idea where I'd get that idea.

Limp Ditka said:
Seen it before. Rarely turns out well.

Now the burden of being hosts will be replaced by the burden of being an employer. 

Your wife will be looking over her shoulder every 2-3 minutes making sure this person is doing what she’s supposed to instead of paying attention to the guests.
Click to expand...

 
NutterButter said:
How much is the nanny going to cost you?    With the amount of money you're going to drop on booze, I can't see why another hundo is going to matter and no one is going to thinking any less of you b/c you have a single person helping you out with the party.   Easy call.
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It has nothing to do with the cost. I guess I'm just self conscious about folks perceiving me as flaunting my money by hiring someone to help with the party.

 
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Here is how you resolve this one...

"Hey, I don't really agree with the idea and think its unnecessary but I've thought about it some more and let's give it a shot. Worst case it's a waste and we dont need to do it again, best case, it worked out awesome and we'd do it again."

I kinda enjoy being the host but it does become a lot of work especially if you were talking dinners.

Don't worry about the flaunting perception. I'd turn it into a joke when people asked. Just say she got into a car accident with your wife and a judge ruled the nanny had to be your butler for a week.

 
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chet said:
:lol:

No idea where I'd get that idea.
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To be honest, neither do I.

"I've seen it happen before" immediately means "it happened at my house and my wife acted this way."?

Now I'm not sure about you, but I've been an invited guest to other people's parties multiple times before and this is where I have seen it happen before. You know, with other people's wives.

JFC

 
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Great idea by your wife!  I don't see a problem.  Even if you don't agree with the premise, she has good intentions and that is all that matters.  Loosen up and have fun.  People make the biggest deals out of nothing. 

 
Snickers said:
Not in my mind, I've thrown parties for a lot more when I didn't have a pot to piss in
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Me too, but i didnt provide food and drinks.

Here ya go.  Have everyone kick in 5 bucks to give to the "help". You get to save face and also save money.  Maybe you can enjoy the night with that weight off your back.

 
ghostguy123 said:
Me too, but i didnt provide food and drinks.

Here ya go.  Have everyone kick in 5 bucks to give to the "help". You get to save face and also save money.  Maybe you can enjoy the night with that weight off your back.
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And have her take an article of clothing off for every 20.

Then you can maybe get her to play ring toss, or a cigar ride.

 
In all seriousness, I love the idea.  I have done this before.  Nothing wrong with a helping hand to serve some drinks, food and tidy up. 

Your wife sounds like the smart one and you must be the TV husband that has no idea what is going on and sits at burger king with a crown on his head.

 
comfortably numb said:
Here is how you resolve this one...

"Hey, I don't really agree with the idea and think its unnecessary but I've thought about it some more and let's give it a shot. Worst case it's a waste and we dont need to do it again, best case, it worked out awesome and we'd do it again."
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I actually just got off the phone with my wife and used something pretty close to this so we are settled and on with the Nanny. We will also have a 7 & 8 year old upstairs that we will need to tend to as well. Hopefully Benadryl the Babysitter takes care of them but if we are freed up from hosting duties it will allow us to monitor them more often.

 
So attended a friend of a friend party once.  They are both doctors but aren't super lavish with their house/lifestyle etc.  Actually, I had no idea they both were doctors honestly.  Anyway.

There was ~ 50 of us.  About 15-20 kids and 20-30 adults.

Anyway they had 2 people working - one on the grill making food and another on cleanup and serving drinks etc.

At first I was like "this is weird/pretentious" (since I've never been witness to this).  But he and his wife hung out the entire night. Sure they checked on a couple things here and there but they were able to enjoy the party without having to man the grill the entire time.

I will definitely think about it if I plan on having a bunch of people over for a cookout/party.

 
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