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My sisters gifts for my 52nd birthday. (1 Viewer)

squidrope

squidrope

Footballguy
  I'm perplexed, disappointed, and kinda skeeved. 

What say you?

I don't generally exchange gifts with my sister.  This year my birthday fell when I was away at a race.  Race went horribly and I came home to two large boxes of books with a "Happy Birthday" note on the side that also said "sorry about your race, hope that this cheers you up".  Inside the top box was books on Ali, Hefner, and other famous figures from the 70's.  Nothing that would interest me.  The second box was a home run, with books on formula one drivers, teams, and tracks around the world. (I love that crap).

  I donated the first box to my local library and would sort through the second box when I had more time.  While I was away this weekend, my sister called with car problems and wanted my help.  I got back today and while repairing her car I found out that the books came from her neighbors deceased  brother.  OK no big deal.  I have an interest in that topic so...  We had a party this afternoon for my wife, nephew (sisters son) and moi.  All of our birthdays are within a few weeks and one party makes things easier.

   To my surprise I have a wrapped gift from my sister. I open it and it's a replica leather football helmet from the 40's or 50's.  Not at the top of my list of wanted items but I play along and have some fun wearing the helmet.  I eventually find out she got the helmet from the dead neighbors estate. 

   I'm not thrilled by the dead guy gifts.  It creeps me out, and I find my sister to be incredibly cheap.  Maybe I'm all wet, but I can't help but feel slighted by her lack of consideration and general cheapness with these "gifts". 

    I've always been very giving towards her and her family as they lived with us for over 3 months while searching for a home, and I have done many things around their house and with their cars without any type of compensation expected or received. My sister always cries poor, but are doing quite well and are very frugal people.  Am I blowing this out of proportion, or should I be upset?    

 
squidrope said:
  I'm perplexed, disappointed, and kinda skeeved. 

What say you?

I don't generally exchange gifts with my sister.  This year my birthday fell when I was away at a race.  Race went horribly and I came home to two large boxes of books with a "Happy Birthday" note on the side that also said "sorry about your race, hope that this cheers you up".  Inside the top box was books on Ali, Hefner, and other famous figures from the 70's.  Nothing that would interest me.  The second box was a home run, with books on formula one drivers, teams, and tracks around the world. (I love that crap).

  I donated the first box to my local library and would sort through the second box when I had more time.  While I was away this weekend, my sister called with car problems and wanted my help.  I got back today and while repairing her car I found out that the books came from her neighbors deceased  brother.  OK no big deal.  I have an interest in that topic so...  We had a party this afternoon for my wife, nephew (sisters son) and moi.  All of our birthdays are within a few weeks and one party makes things easier.

   To my surprise I have a wrapped gift from my sister. I open it and it's a replica leather football helmet from the 40's or 50's.  Not at the top of my list of wanted items but I play along and have some fun wearing the helmet.  I eventually find out she got the helmet from the dead neighbors estate. 

   I'm not thrilled by the dead guy gifts.  It creeps me out, and I find my sister to be incredibly cheap.  Maybe I'm all wet, but I can't help but feel slighted by her lack of consideration and general cheapness with these "gifts". 

    I've always been very giving towards her and her family as they lived with us for over 3 months while searching for a home, and I have done many things around their house and with their cars without any type of compensation expected or received. My sister always cries poor, but are doing quite well and are very frugal people.  Am I blowing this out of proportion, or should I be upset?    
Click to expand...
Blowing out of proportion. You don't normally exchange gifts. She thought you would like them. Be grateful.

 
Yes,  you're blowing it out of proportion. Enjoy your books, put the helmet on a shelf somewhere, and don't worry about where they came from.

 
She didn't have to do anything for you--she got some stuff that she thought would interest you and if you don't like it--pay it forward or donate it.

 
Learning how to appreciate receiving  a gift is as important as learning how to give a gift.   People say "thank you" when you hold a door open for them for gods sake.  Your sister was thinking about you regardless of how she obtained the stuff that she gave you.  Be grateful and show appreciation.  

 
Go to a cemetery and dig up a woman's grave and steal some jewelry and give it to her for Xmas.  See how she likes it 

 
my brother in law gives my family candles for christmas every year

candles. to my kids.

he gives my wife a list of things he, his wife and kid want every year. she dutifully spends $1-200 on the kid and buys things for her brother and sister in law. yet he moans we didn't do enough. every. year.

bottom line: people suck

 
Soootch said:
I have an aunt who is unbelievably cheap. When eating out she'll order hot water with lemon instead of coffee or tea and never tips. When attending a family gathering she'll bring leftovers from her fridge or a cake or pie that's already had pieces cut. One year for christmas she gave me a can of peanuts that was already opened and a little more than half full. We all just laugh about it. She's nuts. :shrug:  
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I see what you did there.

For the OP: If she picked up stuff she thought was kind of neat from the neighbor's estate, it would have been better to give it to you as a "JB" ("just because," as a friend of mine calls it) ...not under the pretense of a thoughtful birthday gift.  But you know better than we do if this fits a pattern of being cheap (=my BIL) or if she thought she was doing good.  :shrug:

 
You don't normally exchange gifts.  She came across some things and was sweet enough to think, "my brother may enjoy these".

Don't be a ####.

 
squidrope said:
  I'm perplexed, disappointed, and kinda skeeved. 

What say you?

I don't generally exchange gifts with my sister.  This year my birthday fell when I was away at a race.  Race went horribly and I came home to two large boxes of books with a "Happy Birthday" note on the side that also said "sorry about your race, hope that this cheers you up".  Inside the top box was books on Ali, Hefner, and other famous figures from the 70's.  Nothing that would interest me.  The second box was a home run, with books on formula one drivers, teams, and tracks around the world. (I love that crap).

  I donated the first box to my local library and would sort through the second box when I had more time.  While I was away this weekend, my sister called with car problems and wanted my help.  I got back today and while repairing her car I found out that the books came from her neighbors deceased  brother.  OK no big deal.  I have an interest in that topic so...  We had a party this afternoon for my wife, nephew (sisters son) and moi.  All of our birthdays are within a few weeks and one party makes things easier.

   To my surprise I have a wrapped gift from my sister. I open it and it's a replica leather football helmet from the 40's or 50's.  Not at the top of my list of wanted items but I play along and have some fun wearing the helmet.  I eventually find out she got the helmet from the dead neighbors estate. 

   I'm not thrilled by the dead guy gifts.  It creeps me out, and I find my sister to be incredibly cheap.  Maybe I'm all wet, but I can't help but feel slighted by her lack of consideration and general cheapness with these "gifts". 

    I've always been very giving towards her and her family as they lived with us for over 3 months while searching for a home, and I have done many things around their house and with their cars without any type of compensation expected or received. My sister always cries poor, but are doing quite well and are very frugal people.  Am I blowing this out of proportion, or should I be upset?    
Click to expand...
Dude.  :no:

 
I'd be happy to get any gift at all, and would be ####ing thrilled if one out of every three gifts I received was a "home run."

 
mr. furley said:
my brother in law gives my family candles for christmas every year

candles. to my kids.

he gives my wife a list of things he, his wife and kid want every year. she dutifully spends $1-200 on the kid and buys things for her brother and sister in law. yet he moans we didn't do enough. every. year.

bottom line: people suck
Click to expand...
Seriously?  What a ####.

 
When you say that you don't typically exchange gifts with your sister, what does that mean? When was the last time she gave you a gift before now and when was the last time you gave her a gift before now?

 
GroveDiesel said:
When you say that you don't typically exchange gifts with your sister, what does that mean? When was the last time she gave you a gift before now and when was the last time you gave her a gift before now?
Click to expand...
And what did you give her son at the shared birthday party?

 
My sister gave me three boxes of gifts for my 52nd birthday and I only loved one of them, so now I'm angry that she didn't spend more money on them. 

 
if i am 52 and want something, i buy it.  i generally don't wait for the 1 day a year when i happened to be born to hope i get that one indispensable item.  this way, i am not disappointed when an adult gives me a gift.

 
DocHolliday said:
And it does not even have to be talked about.  You just don't do it. 
Click to expand...
I got a gift from my brother and SiL this birthday, and I was slightly uncomfortable with it. It's because I get the nieces and nephews (of which there are four) gifts for birthday and Xmas. Please tell me I'm wrong, because I felt weird receiving the gift, but didn't want to refuse it out of politeness.  It was a nice gesture, and I appreciated it, but there was no need.  

I also think these things are family-dependent, and a one-size-fits-all attitude never suffices for advice.   

 
Last edited by a moderator:
rockaction said:
I got a gift from my brother and SiL this birthday, and I was slightly uncomfortable with it. It's because I get the nieces and nephews (of which there are four) gifts for birthday and Xmas. Please tell me I'm wrong, because I felt weird receiving the gift, but didn't want to refuse it out of politeness.  It was a nice gesture, and I appreciated it, but there was no need.  

I also think these things are family-dependent, and a one-size-fits-all attitude never suffices for advice.   
Click to expand...
From you posts, It has seemed more like you didn't like the gifts.

 
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I'm not sure what's more childish....you whining about birthday gifts or the fact that a 52 year old man is obsessed with car racing.  Self-evaluation needed here.

 
squidrope said:
I find my sister to be incredibly cheap.

[snip]

    I've always been very giving towards her and her family as they lived with us for over 3 months while searching for a home,
Click to expand...
um. . . give the lady a break.

I'm with you about not wanting something that a dead person used to own, but come on, no need to go down this rabbit hole.  Tell her you appreciate the gifts and move on, and DON'T complain to other family members, because that just brings drama.  Complain to your wife if you need to, or us. 

 
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