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Worst Movie You’ve Seen

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Last night I watched a horror movie entitled "mother!".  I understood mostly none of it. There was very little plot, things happened for no reason, but there was lots of screaming, even explosions and I still hated it, mostly because I couldn't figure it out.  It gets 6.9 stars on imdb, so apparently it's me. 

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44 minutes ago, Bull Dozier said:

Ice Pirates and Transylvania 6-5000 have to be at the top of my list for worst movies I have personally seen.

I saw Ice Pirates in the theater with my dad when I was 11 years old and loved it.  Granted I haven't seen it again in the 30+ years since it's been released, but you're still dead to me.

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3 minutes ago, BrutalPenguin said:

Last night I watched a horror movie entitled "mother!".  I understood mostly none of it. There was very little plot, things happened for no reason, but there was lots of screaming, even explosions and I still hated it, mostly because I couldn't figure it out.  It gets 6.9 stars on imdb, so apparently it's me. 

I haven't seen it yet, but listened to his interview on WTF and he said it's a mix of environmental,  personal/relationship, and religious metaphors.  I believe he said in that order too.  Don't think horror movie was the intent, but again, I haven't seen it.  (it's on my list, and forgot that came out Tuesday too)

Edited by KarmaPolice

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8 minutes ago, General Malaise said:

I'd say the bigger sticking point is Tom getting so butt hurt over a dream his wife had.  She's just telling him a dream.  Relax, nerd.  No need to go out and risk your marriage or career or life chasing down a sex orgy or slumming with hookers.  And yeah, as a daily smoker since the early 90's, the impact of weed to a person doesn't render such behavior.  Cmon, now.  

Now I want to watch EWS again since it's been awhile.   I guess I took it as mistrust in the relationship in general, him obsessing over what she told him and thinking maybe it wasn't a dream (I remember it being told in a way that wasn't joking more as she was trying to hurt him), and him acting on it and trying to have something like that for himself.   

I know I get paranoid as #### when I smoke, or are you talking about people don't have conversations like that when they are high?

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12 minutes ago, Buckychudd said:

I saw Ice Pirates in the theater with my dad when I was 11 years old and loved it.  Granted I haven't seen it again in the 30+ years since it's been released, but you're still dead to me.

We're probably about the same age as I think that's how old I was when I saw it.  It was funny stupid.

The thing I realized about both Ice Pirates and Transylvania 6-5000 was that the most memorable scene from each movie to a classic "groin shot."  In Ice Pirates, the guy on the conveyor belt moving towards the circular saw pointed at his groin, and in Transylvania, the hand reaching up out of the swamp to grab the guys crotch.  Good stuff to a pre-teen/early teen.

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14 minutes ago, Bull Dozier said:

We're probably about the same age as I think that's how old I was when I saw it.  It was funny stupid.

The thing I realized about both Ice Pirates and Transylvania 6-5000 was that the most memorable scene from each movie to a classic "groin shot."  In Ice Pirates, the guy on the conveyor belt moving towards the circular saw pointed at his groin, and in Transylvania, the hand reaching up out of the swamp to grab the guys crotch.  Good stuff to a pre-teen/early teen.

It was probably the funniest movie my 11 year old brain had ever seen.

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45 minutes ago, KarmaPolice said:

I haven't seen it yet, but listened to his interview on WTF and he said it's a mix of environmental,  personal/relationship, and religious metaphors.  I believe he said in that order too.  Don't think horror movie was the intent, but again, I haven't seen it.  (it's on my list, and forgot that came out Tuesday too)

Yes, a stream or collage of metaphors much better describes it than words like "story" or "coherent". 

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34 minutes ago, General Malaise said:

Fine, I'll leave it be, but me not liking it has no bearing you explaining to us how it's Kubrick's most misunderstood film.  What did we not understand?  If you've got the Rosetta Stone to this film, share it with us.   

Kubrick's films have always been cold and detached, and Eyes Wide Shut was slammed for being cold and detached. 

I can't say it any better than this:

"But when it was finally released in the middle of 1999, Eyes Wide Shut was received with almost universal disappointment. Critics roundly panned the film’s lack of pace and narrative drive. They sneered at the oddly stilted performances and derided the lack of genuine eroticism. Kubrick was out of touch, they said. He’d been a recluse for too long. The wider movie going public, lured along by the titillating promise of spicy goings on between Cruise and Kidman, were simply left baffled by Kubrick’s cold, unsparing exploration of the human condition in the pre-millennial modern world. Disappointment, derision and resentment were the order of the day. “It’s just not sexy enough!” went the bitter, repeated complaints."

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1 hour ago, General Malaise said:

I'd say the bigger sticking point is Tom getting so butt hurt over a dream his wife had.  She's just telling him a dream.  Relax, nerd.  No need to go out and risk your marriage or career or life chasing down a sex orgy or slumming with hookers.  And yeah, as a daily smoker since the early 90's, the impact of weed to a person doesn't render such behavior.  Cmon, now.  

Again, people imagine all kinds of nonsense. They think Vitamin C and echinacea help cure colds. So it's completely reasonable that a dude could "freak out" on weed when weed doesn't even have that effect. And Cruise's character is jealous over a dream? Talk to women who've married jealous men. They get jealous over everything - no matter how ridiculous. 

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1 hour ago, BrutalPenguin said:

Last night I watched a horror movie entitled "mother!".  I understood mostly none of it. There was very little plot, things happened for no reason, but there was lots of screaming, even explosions and I still hated it, mostly because I couldn't figure it out.  It gets 6.9 stars on imdb, so apparently it's me. 

This movie is widely hated - so you are in the majority. I haven't seen it, but I loved Arronofsky's Requiem for a Dream.

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1 hour ago, Buckychudd said:

I saw Ice Pirates in the theater with my dad when I was 11 years old and loved it.  Granted I haven't seen it again in the 30+ years since it's been released, but you're still dead to me.

I fondly remember seeing this in the theater with my cousin in 1984.  I guess the mom sitting in front of us thought it wasn't very good as she left with her kids just after the sex scene started.

I just looked up on wiki the movies of 1984 and wow what a year.  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_American_films_of_1984

I just counted them up and I've seen 94 of these movies from 1984!  Thank you HBO.

(ETA: I saw 76 of the ones from 1985.  Woah)

Edited by rick6668

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1 hour ago, KarmaPolice said:

Now I want to watch EWS again since it's been awhile.   I guess I took it as mistrust in the relationship in general, him obsessing over what she told him and thinking maybe it wasn't a dream (I remember it being told in a way that wasn't joking more as she was trying to hurt him), and him acting on it and trying to have something like that for himself.   

I know I get paranoid as #### when I smoke, or are you talking about people don't have conversations like that when they are high?

No, I'm saying pot doesn't lead people to head out into the night in search of sex orgies and dalliances with hookers that would jeopardize both their marriages and careers.

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37 minutes ago, jdoggydogg said:

Again, people imagine all kinds of nonsense. They think Vitamin C and echinacea help cure colds. So it's completely reasonable that a dude could "freak out" on weed when weed doesn't even have that effect. And Cruise's character is jealous over a dream? Talk to women who've married jealous men. They get jealous over everything - no matter how ridiculous. 

That's quite a reach, Plastic Man.  I guess your suspension of disbelief is more generous than mine. 

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42 minutes ago, jdoggydogg said:

Kubrick's films have always been cold and detached, and Eyes Wide Shut was slammed for being cold and detached. 

I can't say it any better than this:

"But when it was finally released in the middle of 1999, Eyes Wide Shut was received with almost universal disappointment. Critics roundly panned the film’s lack of pace and narrative drive. They sneered at the oddly stilted performances and derided the lack of genuine eroticism. Kubrick was out of touch, they said. He’d been a recluse for too long. The wider movie going public, lured along by the titillating promise of spicy goings on between Cruise and Kidman, were simply left baffled by Kubrick’s cold, unsparing exploration of the human condition in the pre-millennial modern world. Disappointment, derision and resentment were the order of the day. “It’s just not sexy enough!” went the bitter, repeated complaints."

Right, so it's NOT misunderstood.  It's just bad.  That's what I've been saying all along.

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Most of the Jaws sequels were pretty awful. Which one had the shark grabbing a helicopter? I think that was 2? I think 3 was the worst, but I never saw 4.

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11 minutes ago, General Malaise said:

Right, so it's NOT misunderstood.  It's just bad.  That's what I've been saying all along.

And here's the reason I didn't bother to elaborate. I like the movie, and you're going to swat away any attempts at reconsideration. 

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12 minutes ago, General Malaise said:

No, I'm saying pot doesn't lead people to head out into the night in search of sex orgies and dalliances with hookers that would jeopardize both their marriages and careers.

Again, was it that same night and he was still on the weed, or was it another day? Like I said, I don't remember.   I took it as them having a joint and talking, and him obsessing about it afterwards, and not necessarily him looking for it all, just him becoming more aware of stuff around him.  

That's it, I am stopping by the library and picking this damn movie up.  I have been wanting to rewatch some Kubrick, maybe I will go in reverse order. 

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1 minute ago, KarmaPolice said:

Again, was it that same night and he was still on the weed, or was it another day? Like I said, I don't remember.   I took it as them having a joint and talking, and him obsessing about it afterwards, and not necessarily him looking for it all, just him becoming more aware of stuff around him.  

That's it, I am stopping by the library and picking this damn movie up.  I have been wanting to rewatch some Kubrick, maybe I will go in reverse order. 

Mom?

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8 minutes ago, McJose said:

Mom?

:lol:

I don't have streaming ability and I am a cheap ###, so I mine the Madison system for most of my old movie watching. 

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The 9th gate. Only movie I have ever gone home before the movie was over.

Wait, thats not true. I left during High fidelity because I had a terrible case of diarrhea. 

That was still a better experience.  

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2 hours ago, BrutalPenguin said:

Last night I watched a horror movie entitled "mother!".  I understood mostly none of it. There was very little plot, things happened for no reason, but there was lots of screaming, even explosions and I still hated it, mostly because I couldn't figure it out.  It gets 6.9 stars on imdb, so apparently it's me. 

sounds like you were just following me around and watching my life brohan take that to the bank 

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1 hour ago, jdoggydogg said:

And here's the reason I didn't bother to elaborate. I like the movie, and you're going to swat away any attempts at reconsideration. 

That's fine.  That's also different than telling everybody it was the most misunderstood of Kubrick's films.  

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You nerds sure get worked up over movies. And none of you has listed a movie worse the Gymkata, eleven pages later. Not even close.

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4 minutes ago, kevzilla said:

You nerds sure get worked up over movies. And none of you has listed a movie worse the Gymkata, eleven pages later. Not even close.

The most misunderstood of Kurt Thomas' films IMO.

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43 minutes ago, General Malaise said:

That's fine.  That's also different than telling everybody it was the most misunderstood of Kubrick's films.  

I didn't coin the phrase, I merely repeated it.

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21 minutes ago, kevzilla said:

You nerds sure get worked up over movies. And none of you has listed a movie worse the Gymkata, eleven pages later. Not even close.

Title of the thread is Worst Movie You’ve Seen

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17 minutes ago, McJose said:

The most misunderstood of Kurt Thomas' films IMO.

That...was awesome!

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54 minutes ago, General Malaise said:

That's fine.  That's also different than telling everybody it was the most misunderstood of Kubrick's films.  

Look, I like Eyes Wide Shut. I'm comfortable with you hating it, but it sounds like you're uncomfortable with me liking it. I like discussing movies and I'm very grateful to engage in these lively conversations. But ultimately, if I like a movie, I don't give a flying #### if I'm the only guy on earth that does. 

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:lmao:

HERE is a NSFW clip from Killer Nerd.  Looks like both KN and Bride of KN are on youtube.  

We were obsessed with these movies b/c one of the local video stores in town had it, and it had a MUST be 18 to rent sticker on it.   The first of our group to turn 18, we rented it for his birthday and watched it and just sat there thinking WTF.  Of course I ended up buying both movies and it became a favorite in HS and the first couple years in the dorms.  

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2 minutes ago, jdoggydogg said:

Look, I like Eyes Wide Shut. I'm comfortable with you hating it, but it sounds like you're uncomfortable with me liking it. I like discussing movies and I'm very grateful to engage in these lively conversations. But ultimately, if I like a movie, I don't give a flying #### if I'm the only guy on earth that does. 

No, I've said this I don't know how many times now, but I'll do it again - I'm FINE with you liking it.  That's great.  You said it was the most misunderstood of Kubrick's films.  That's my problem.  Not you liking it, you saying it was misunderstood.  I asked how, you linked me to Google.  Good one.  Now you're walking it back saying you didn't coin the phrase, just repeating it.  Fine.  You can have the last word; I've stated my point.

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2 hours ago, parasaurolophus said:

The 9th gate. Only movie I have ever gone home before the movie was over.

Wait, thats not true. I left during High fidelity because I had a terrible case of diarrhea. 

That was still a better experience.  

EPIC FAIL! I LOVE THE 9TH GATE!!!

 

DISLIKE X 10000000000000000000000000000000000000000

 

Edited by JoeSteeler

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10 minutes ago, General Malaise said:

No, I've said this I don't know how many times now, but I'll do it again - I'm FINE with you liking it.  That's great.  You said it was the most misunderstood of Kubrick's films.  That's my problem.  Not you liking it, you saying it was misunderstood.  I asked how, you linked me to Google.  Good one.  Now you're walking it back saying you didn't coin the phrase, just repeating it.  Fine.  You can have the last word; I've stated my point.

Now it sounds like you're trying to win an argument. This isn't an abortion debate. Feels like you're upset that I said people misunderstood Eyes Wide Shut. I think you took that personally despite the fact that I never directed that comment at you.

Cheers :)

 

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1 minute ago, KarmaPolice said:

I don't think you'd understand it. :P

For sure. Anything beyond Earnest Goes To The Proctologist and I'm lost.

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Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter

It's pretty hard to ruin a movie about Jesus hunting vampires that are, in turn, hunting lesbians because their blood allows vampires to walk in the sun without dying.  This movie did though.

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5 hours ago, General Malaise said:

 

9 hours ago, Todem said:

:no:

Pretty sure he was schticking here.

 

as schticky as somebody calling My Dinner with Andre the worst movie ever because there's too much talking.

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3 hours ago, General Malaise said:

No, I'm saying pot doesn't lead people to head out into the night in search of sex orgies and dalliances with hookers that would jeopardize both their marriages and careers.

Speak for yourself. 

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Saw Pixels last night.  Recency bias, but that terrible.  Wife looks over after movie and says "that was pretty good".

We have a thread for worst wife?

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35 minutes ago, ghostguy123 said:

Saw Pixels last night.  Recency bias, but that terrible.  Wife looks over after movie and says "that was pretty good".

We have a thread for worst wife?

It is worth it just for the Dinkledge mullet. 

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1 hour ago, ghostguy123 said:

Saw Pixels last night.  Recency bias, but that terrible.  Wife looks over after movie and says "that was pretty good".

We have a thread for worst wife?

I can't put it on a worst movie list, but it certainly belongs on bad movies list.  I really wanted to like it, but I wound up hating everything about it.

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Drop Dead Rock. 

Stars Deborah Harry and Adam Ant - and directef by my Cousin. So I should have found a way to like it.

But OMG, it was brutal. I didn't make it though the family viewing at my aunts house it was so brutal.

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3 minutes ago, The General said:

Just watched “Downsizing”.

That set the new low bar. Horrible on so many levels. 

That looked atrocious from the TV ads.  Why would you pay $$$ to see that?

 

 

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1 minute ago, General Malaise said:

That looked atrocious from the TV ads.  Why would you pay $$$ to see that?

 

 

The director has done some great movies. Matt Damon, Kristen Whig, Jason Sudeikis. 

Cant believe how bad this was.

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On 12/20/2017 at 6:07 AM, saintfool said:

my older brother tried to sneak me and his girlfriend into "The Breakfast Club" when i was a freshman in high school. we bought tickets to a different movie but were caught as we tried to drift over to "The Breakfast Club". We got redirected and sent back into "Fast Forward" .

WTF is that?  

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