A contrarian POV:
The beginning of AC/DC’s Hell’s Bells plays as the video stops and Davis, borrowing a line from America’s former vice president when he helped passed a bill providing healthcare for all Americans, said, “This is a big f-ing deal,” before introducing Gruden to the stage.
For some people out there, this might have registered as a cool moment. Hey, Jon Gruden is back! Chucky! That's cool! He won a Super Bowl, right?
For others, it felt not like a dream come true, but a dream that occurs during an accidental overdose of cold medicine. Here is a fine football coach who works at the craft, but spent the final three years of his career middling through a 22–26 record with no playoff victories being deified like a cryogenically preserved Vince Lombardi.
If that was more your reaction, feel free to read on. These are the five most insane moments from Jon Gruden’s introductory press conference:
1. Jon Gruden says he isn’t really sure what the terms of his contract are: “I don’t really know the terms, all I know is that this year I’ll be coaching in Oakland and next year I’ll be coaching in Oakland,” he said.
This has to be flat-out untrue. This man isn’t really sure he’s guaranteed $100 million over the next 10 years of his life? Gruden said that he returned for four reasons: he loves football, he loves Oakland, he loves the Raiders and he loves to win. Yes, that—and one owner’s willingness to literally empty the club’s emergency coffer to pay him more than any head coach in the NFL.
Davis went into some meandering explanation about how there’s no salary cap for coaches, but in staging an event like this, why sidestep the fact that you just made such a gargantuan commitment? Why sweep it under the rug like it’s something we shouldn’t be talking about? No, you’re right. Let's move on with the NFL’s equivalent of a Guns N’ Roses reunion tour.
2. If you watched on ESPN, the cameras on site seemed to be struggling with focus issues and, for a few minutes, shakiness as well. It gave the press conference the feel of something taped secretly by an undercover journalist stashing their VHS recorder inside a trench coat, and it was … appropriate? It probably matched the dystopian vibe around the league. Coaches who have been grinding for the past 10 years, even coaches who have been to more Super Bowls in that time but make half as much, had to be watching this wondering what kind of profession they’ve gotten themselves into.
Football has always been a bit nepotistic, but the cream tends to rise to the top. Imagine how much money John Harbaugh, Mike Tomlin and Mike McCarthy would be worth if they just acted like a football’s Guy Fieri for three hours a week on television? We now live in a world devoid of critical-thinking skills. We get soldthings. Herm Edwards was a fine football coach, but should he be in charge of a college football program at age 63, 10 years after he last held the title of head coach? LaVar Ball used to play basketball, but should he be manipulating a professional Lithuanian team with his 16-year-old son?
3. “Technology is incredible”: Gruden says he plans to have conversations with his players about various social media platforms that were invented largely after he left coaching. Facebook was just four years old when the Tampa Bay Buccaneers parted ways with him. Twitter was two years old, Instagram wouldn’t be invented for another two years and Snapchat for another three. It opened the door for a strange few moments where I realized just how different the NFL has become since 2008. There is a new collective bargaining agreement that limits practice time. There is a salary cap jumping millions of dollars each year and a race for teams to figure out how to build a foundation not only through the draft, but also with in-prime 27- and 28-year-old players. There is a new crop of athletes who are used to vastly different forms of coaching. There have been massive strides made in the realm of health and safety. Jake Long, the player drafted No. 1 overall in Gruden’s final year with the Buccaneers, is now 32 and retired.
4. Jon Gruden has never met Marshawn Lynch: Gruden says over the years, he’s requested the running back in production meetings, but Lynch has never agreed. In that way, Gruden is cool. He’s just like the rest of us.
5. The Raiders are still pretending they’re above board in regards to the Rooney Rule: General manager Reggie McKenzie said he interviewed tight ends coach Bobby Johnson and USC offensive coordinator Tee Martin for the head coaching job before the club decided to hire Gruden.
Who actually believes that Davis, who talked about this being a dream come true, who recalled many instances of him traveling to Tampa to pick Gruden’s brain and hope that he’d one day come back to coaching, had to mull this one over? As Tony Dungy told me last week it’s the spirit of the Rooney Rule that is under attack more than anything else.
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