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Was I justified in asking my bro this question (2 Viewers)

chet

Footballguy
This story is not that interesting.  However, with the board being as slow as it is, I thought I'd ask the FFA if I were justified in asking the question below.  Here's the backstory.

One Tuesday night, my brother and 5 of his friends arrived at my ski house in Park City.  They've planned their trip for months and I was more than happy to let them stay at my place.  They will be there until Monday.  My bro has been to the house many times with his family and is familiar with the area.  He also knows some of the ski instructors that we've used over the years to teach our kids to ski.

On Wednesday am, he tells me that he's arranged to ski with Brent who's was nationally ranked skier who competed to make the Olympic team in 2014 in his discipline.  He was ranked about 10th nationally and is a world class skier.  We have skied with Brent for many years and he's a great guy.  My bro and his family have also used Brent as an instructor and have gotten along very well.  Even though Brent has been over to the house many times for dinner, the skiing relationship has always been professional--i.e. we always pay him.

I was surprised to have the following text message exchange yesterday:

Bro:  Do you ever ski with Austin without paying him?

Me: no

Bro: Invited him just to ski with us and give him folks to ski with. Think he is assuming he is here to teach us.

Me: That would be a good assumption from his perspective

Bro: K  Expensive lesson.  I got two runs before having to quit.  

ASIDE:  my bro was diagnosed with Lyme disease earlier this week and had to stop skiing yesterday because of that

Me:  with all due respect, Brent probably doesn't want to ski with a bunch of ~45yo guys on his day off

There was no response from him so around dinner, I texted him the following:

Me: please tell me you took care of Brent

Bro:  Why do you even need to ask?

Was I justified in asking?  Is my bro justified in being pissed off?

 
Meh. He's staying in your house. You can say stuff like that. 

He should have been aware that the instructor might have been expecting pay due to the history teaching bro and Chet family.

 
This story is not that interesting.  However, with the board being as slow as it is, I thought I'd ask the FFA if I were justified in asking the question below.  Here's the backstory.

 Brent who's was nationally ranked skier who competed to make the Olympic team in 2014 in his discipline.  He was ranked about 10th nationally and is a world class skier.
Oh never mind you already thought to tell us

 
This story is not that interesting.  However, with the board being as slow as it is, I thought I'd ask the FFA if I were justified in asking the question below.  Here's the backstory.
Listen, we get it.  The story is taking a long time, but I've been assured that someone is going to lose a foot.

 
This story is not that interesting.  However, with the board being as slow as it is, I thought I'd ask the FFA if I were justified in asking the question below.  Here's the backstory.

One Tuesday night, my brother and 5 of his friends arrived at my ski house in Park City.  They've planned their trip for months and I was more than happy to let them stay at my place.  They will be there until Monday.  My bro has been to the house many times with his family and is familiar with the area.  He also knows some of the ski instructors that we've used over the years to teach our kids to ski.

On Wednesday am, he tells me that he's arranged to ski with Brent who's was nationally ranked skier who competed to make the Olympic team in 2014 in his discipline.  He was ranked about 10th nationally and is a world class skier.  We have skied with Brent for many years and he's a great guy.  My bro and his family have also used Brent as an instructor and have gotten along very well.  Even though Brent has been over to the house many times for dinner, the skiing relationship has always been professional--i.e. we always pay him.

I was surprised to have the following text message exchange yesterday:

Bro:  Do you ever ski with Austin without paying him?

Me: no

Bro: Invited him just to ski with us and give him folks to ski with. Think he is assuming he is here to teach us.

Me: That would be a good assumption from his perspective

Bro: K  Expensive lesson.  I got two runs before having to quit.  

ASIDE:  my bro was diagnosed with Lyme disease earlier this week and had to stop skiing yesterday because of that

Me:  with all due respect, Brent probably doesn't want to ski with a bunch of ~45yo guys on his day off

There was no response from him so around dinner, I texted him the following:

Me: please tell me you took care of Brent

Bro:  Why do you even need to ask?

Was I justified in asking?  Is my bro justified in being pissed off?
Well, Is your bro even pissed off?   Seems like a reasonable question to ask a free loading brother.  

 
Well, Is your bro even pissed off?   Seems like a reasonable question to ask a free loading brother.  
Don't know.  I haven't called him.  Like I said, this story isn't that interesting.

He did reply tersely when I asked where he was skiing this am.

 
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What can a ranked skier teach of bunch of old dudes who are just trying not to break a limb?

 
Your brother was an idiot to think that Brent just wanted to hang out with them.  Kinda like a guy who thinks a prostitute really has a thing for him. 

 
Did I miss where there was an actual lesson? If you ask him to ski with you and some friends, is that code that you want a lesson and will pay him?

 
Bro:  Do you ever ski with Austin without paying him?

Me: no

Bro: Invited him just to ski with us and give him folks to ski with. Think he is assuming he is here to teach us.

Me: That would be a good assumption from his perspective

Bro: K  Expensive lesson.  I got two runs before having to quit.  

ASIDE:  my bro was diagnosed with Lyme disease earlier this week and had to stop skiing yesterday because of that

Me:  with all due respect, Brent probably doesn't want to ski with a bunch of ~45yo guys on his day off

There was no response from him so around dinner, I texted him the following:

Me: please tell me you took care of Brent

Bro:  Why do you even need to ask?

Me: You know why. 

Bro: No, I really don't.

Me: Look, I just need you to take care of Brent. He is really special to me. 

Bro: What the heck is that supposed to mean?

Me: Let's just say that he is more than a ski instructor, but I need you to keep that on the down low.

Bro: You mean in a friend kind of way or in a ski instructor with benefits kind of way?

Me: In a Ski Slope Mountain kind of way.

Bro: Ohhhh............
The real story.

 
chet i am glad you started this thread about asking our bros things the other day i was fixing my toilet and after a long drive out to pewaukeeland and back i discoveryed that i needed not one but two five eight wrenches to tighten some threaded rod on up so i called a bro of mine in this instance a brohan in fact and i said hey can you come over with a five eights i got to finish fixing my crapper was i in the right on this one take that to the i will answer yours bank bromigo

 
Did I miss where there was an actual lesson? If you ask him to ski with you and some friends, is that code that you want a lesson and will pay him?
Yes.  The guys a professional skier.  If it's his day off and he hits the mountain he's jumping off 30' rocks and hitting secret powder stashes.  If he hangs out with you on the mountain, it's no longer his day off = he should get paid.   

You invite him out for a few beers after skiing, then you'll figure out if he actually wants to hang out with you.

 
This reminds me of a situation I had..

My buddy lived by my sister about 30 minutes away from me..  I lived by his sister, just down the road from me.  We had a deal, he'd plow my sister if I plowed his sister..  Well after a few times of plowing, I texted my sister to make sure she was taking care of my buddy for plowing her, as my buddy's sister was taking care of me.

She was like "I'm supposed to PAY HIM!?"

 
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I dont see any reason you would be justified asking him that. First off, he implied that he did pay Austin-Brent. Secondly, he is 45 years old. Whether he paid him or not has no reflection on you. 

 
If I was staying at my bothers property I would be pretty happy he's letting me use his place and wouldn't have had a problem with it. I also have pretty thick skin so I don't know, I guess it sort of depends on your relationship.

Bottom line is he felt dumb and got defensive. No one really did anything wrong here IMO. I think this is one of those situations where it's so minor it's not worth bringing up again... your only risk is it snowballing if you try to re-address it.

 
I am so happy my relationship with my brother is the way it is today. Took a long while to get there, but I can absolutely say this would never be an issue between us. It would go more like this.

bro: Do you ever ski with Brent S Austin esquire without paying him?

Me: Do you call your barber to come over and, you know, just shave with you and your friends.

Bro: Dang it. I should have texted before we met up. What do I do now?

Me: Be up front with him, tell him you are sorry, pay him a prorated amount for the group, and part ways. By the way, make sure you give the toilet a quick brushing if you have twin airbreathers again.

Bro: I will send you a before, during, and after picture if I do so you can make sure its cleaned right. 

Me: Have fun. Wear a helmet, and I am not talking about while skiing. 

 
This story is not that interesting.  However, with the board being as slow as it is, I thought I'd ask the FFA if I were justified in asking the question below.  Here's the backstory.

One Tuesday night, my brother and 5 of his friends arrived at my ski house in Park City.  They've planned their trip for months and I was more than happy to let them stay at my place.  They will be there until Monday.  My bro has been to the house many times with his family and is familiar with the area.  He also knows some of the ski instructors that we've used over the years to teach our kids to ski.

On Wednesday am, he tells me that he's arranged to ski with Brent who's was nationally ranked skier who competed to make the Olympic team in 2014 in his discipline.  He was ranked about 10th nationally and is a world class skier.  We have skied with Brent for many years and he's a great guy.  My bro and his family have also used Brent as an instructor and have gotten along very well.  Even though Brent has been over to the house many times for dinner, the skiing relationship has always been professional--i.e. we always pay him.

I was surprised to have the following text message exchange yesterday:

Bro:  Do you ever ski with Austin without paying him?

Me: no

Bro: Invited him just to ski with us and give him folks to ski with. Think he is assuming he is here to teach us.

Me: That would be a good assumption from his perspective

Bro: K  Expensive lesson.  I got two runs before having to quit.  

ASIDE:  my bro was diagnosed with Lyme disease earlier this week and had to stop skiing yesterday because of that

Me:  with all due respect, Brent probably doesn't want to ski with a bunch of ~45yo guys on his day off

There was no response from him so around dinner, I texted him the following:

Me: please tell me you took care of Brent

Bro:  Why do you even need to ask?

Was I justified in asking?  Is my bro justified in being pissed off?
first world problems of the highest order

 

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