What's new
Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums

Welcome to Our Forums. Once you've registered and logged in, you're primed to talk football, among other topics, with the sharpest and most experienced fantasy players on the internet.

my kids lost their mother (1 Viewer)

Nathan R. Jessep

Nathan R. Jessep

Footballguy
Got word yesterday that my ex-wife, the mother of my kids, was found dead in her apartment. She was 39. She had made some bad choices and had some struggles over the last several years and had just not taken very good care of herself on top of that. The kids have been with me the majority of the time since she and I separated about 8 years ago, and pretty much all of the last 2 years.  I had made my peace with her situation long ago, and knew from the path she was on that this day would come sooner rather than later, but you're never ready for that phone call from a police officer.  My heart breaks on behalf of my kids. My son turned 13 2 days ago and my daughter is 15. They didn't deserve this. I'm equal parts sad, frustrated, broken-hearted and, well, pissed off. 

I would appreciate thoughts and prayers and positive vibes for them (and for me). Thanks. Love y'all, man. 

 
El Floppo said:
Oh damn. So sorry to hear this. All my thoughts to you and your kids.

Were they still close with her, and/ or old enough to have any idea what was going on with her?

Ugh.
Click to expand...
Not very close lately. As she ventured down her own path of destruction, she kind of distanced herself from her family, friends, and even her kids. Even though she did keep in touch with them a little bit, there wasn't much of a relationship there. They had gotten old enough to see with their own eyes how she behaved; my daughter especially.  I'm more worried about my son, being the youngest, as he was a little more naive to everything until recently, but even he came to understand how she was.  I have tried to reinforce with both of them over the last couple of years that her problems were a direct result of the choices she had made and made sure they understood that not one bit of it was their fault. I even had talks with them a couple of times that she might not be around much longer if she continued to make poor choices, just to try and somewhat prepare them for what we all knew would inevitably come. You're just never ready for that reality check when it comes. 

 
Nathan R. Jessep said:
Not very close lately. As she ventured down her own path of destruction, she kind of distanced herself from her family, friends, and even her kids. Even though she did keep in touch with them a little bit, there wasn't much of a relationship there. They had gotten old enough to see with their own eyes how she behaved; my daughter especially.  I'm more worried about my son, being the youngest, as he was a little more naive to everything until recently, but even he came to understand how she was.  I have tried to reinforce with both of them over the last couple of years that her problems were a direct result of the choices she had made and made sure they understood that not one bit of it was their fault. I even had talks with them a couple of times that she might not be around much longer if she continued to make poor choices, just to try and somewhat prepare them for what we all knew would inevitably come. You're just never ready for that reality check when it comes. 
Click to expand...
Sounds like you did a great job. My wife’s father passed before Christmas after battling lung cancer for almost 2 years. We knew it was coming but it was still tough. 

 
Drug overdose?

I have a good friend in the same situation. Two children. His ex-wife has been hooked on pills for the past few years. She just came back from rehab and seems to be more involved in their lives.

Another guy I knew lost his child's mother when the boy was only 1 also to a drug overdose.

Its so sad.

I'm sorry for your children.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Nathan R. Jessep said:
Got word yesterday that my ex-wife, the mother of my kids, was found dead in her apartment. She was 39. She had made some bad choices and had some struggles over the last several years and had just not taken very good care of herself on top of that. The kids have been with me the majority of the time since she and I separated about 8 years ago, and pretty much all of the last 2 years.  I had made my peace with her situation long ago, and knew from the path she was on that this day would come sooner rather than later, but you're never ready for that phone call from a police officer.  My heart breaks on behalf of my kids. My son turned 13 2 days ago and my daughter is 15. They didn't deserve this. I'm equal parts sad, frustrated, broken-hearted and, well, pissed off. 

I would appreciate thoughts and prayers and positive vibes for them (and for me). Thanks. Love y'all, man. 
Click to expand...
Sorry to hear this news NRJ.   

 
Nathan R. Jessep said:
Not very close lately. As she ventured down her own path of destruction, she kind of distanced herself from her family, friends, and even her kids. Even though she did keep in touch with them a little bit, there wasn't much of a relationship there. They had gotten old enough to see with their own eyes how she behaved; my daughter especially.  I'm more worried about my son, being the youngest, as he was a little more naive to everything until recently, but even he came to understand how she was.  I have tried to reinforce with both of them over the last couple of years that her problems were a direct result of the choices she had made and made sure they understood that not one bit of it was their fault. I even had talks with them a couple of times that she might not be around much longer if she continued to make poor choices, just to try and somewhat prepare them for what we all knew would inevitably come. You're just never ready for that reality check when it comes. 
Click to expand...
Sounds like you have a good handle on this.  Focus on any positive memories of her especially with the kids but also realize she made bad choices.

Thoughts and Prayers.

 
Thoughts and prayers NRJ. If you are looking for a silver lining of sorts, the kids don't have to spend the next decade wondering and worrying. I suspect they are in a stable enough environment to get through this sad situation and come out the other end just fine. 

 
Thoughts, prayers (just in case), and as many positive vibes.  As tragic as this is, your children are fortunate to have you as a father. 

While it can't take away the pain of your children, your presence will certainly help them through this terribly sad time, and in time perhaps help provide them perspective on our choices in life and their consequences. Most of all, I'm sure they feel loved, and I know you will be there for them.

Sad, nonetheless. 

 
condolences to you and the kids. NRJ - a strong and loving father can help ease this pain for them in a big way, thoughts and prayers out to you during this troubling time. 

 
Thoughts and prayers NRJ.  

The teen years are hard enough of kids without having to deal with this stuff.  

Are the kids in therapy?  I know nothing about them but most teens need someone to talk to from time to time.  Especially if addiction runs in the genes.

 
Awful story.  Prayer sent for you and your kids.

On a side note, it always fells odd to say a prayer for guys on here using the only name I know for them. "Lord, please help Nathan R. Jessep and his kids through this difficult time."

 
Thoprawishes.  Never been through anything close to that.  Agree that your kids should have someone to talk to.  That's a rough age to go through something like this.

 
So sorry NRJ.  I agree that some counseling for your kids might be a good idea.  It might not be a bad idea for you to see somebody too, so you can get advice on how best to handle.  You are obviously a great Dad.  Keep up the good work and never let those kids feel guilt about what happened to their mother.  It is not their fault!

 
Thoughts and prayers to you and your children, Col. It's sad she couldn't kick her demons for their sake, but they are lucky and blessed to have a Dad like you. 

 
My condolences to you and your kids.

I realize that this will be a very tough time for you. You're going to have a lot of stuff going on.
If your ex-wife worked enough to be social security eligible, you should take a few minutes and notify the social security office. Your children are likely eligible for survivor benefits. While this payment may not be a ton, simply letting the payments accumulate in an account earmarked for college may be the last way for your ex-wife to positively contribute to your kids lives.

Best wishes. Give them love.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
So sorry to hear this! Luckily, your  kids have a great dad that they can count on. Your kids have each other, as well as you, and they will ultimately thrive!

T&P

 
My sincerest condolences.  I hope they understand that death does not erase history.  They are allowed sadness at the death while being very valid in any feelings of anger towards her they may also have that she made the choices she did, apparently valuing drugs over them. 

Stay strong when strength is needed, but don't bother when it is not.  You are a good man Col.  I know you will navigate this terrain better than would I.

 
Jayrod said:
Awful story.  Prayer sent for you and your kids.

On a side note, it always fells odd to say a prayer for guys on here using the only name I know for them. "Lord, please help Nathan R. Jessep and his kids through this difficult time."
Click to expand...
I did that too. Of course, God knows who NRJ really is.

 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

Terminalxylem
Older *demented* parents dating/getting remarried
2
Replies
96
Views
2K
Leroy Hoard
Leroy Hoard
Anarchy99
At a loss for words . . . the vacation that never happened (apparently)
2
Replies
77
Views
2K
ghostguy123
ghostguy123
Joe Bryant
My Dad And Cancer
2 3
Replies
133
Views
3K
ZADO
ZADO

Users who are viewing this thread

Total: 2 (members: 0, guests: 2)
Top