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Parenting Questions (1 Viewer)

Sinn Fein

Footballguy
I am not sure if a thread already exists - I gave a cursory look, but wasn't trying too hard - but I figured maybe a general parenting thread for questions and advice might come in handy.

My specific question/issue involves finding a good set of guidelines for Cell Phone/IPad/internet usage for teens/tweens.  What are some of the rules you use with your kids when it comes to the internet and cell phones?

We are bad parents - we did not have a set of ground rules at the start, so now we are fighting some unnecessary battles, but I am trying to figure out some common ground to find the right boundaries. 

 
My daughter has a limit of 2 hours per day.  We are not always perfect about that.

She has an 8:00 pm cut-off for all device usage.  That is pretty strictly enforced.

We actually had her sign an agreement with other things like any time we ask, she must turn over the phone.  Never out at meals, the phone is not really hers, no cyberbullying, we have the right to look through phone at any time, etc.

 
My older kids had to buy their own phones and pay for their own service if they wanted it. Younger ones have old phones from us/sibs/uncle but wifi only. I haven't been able to set and maintain good rules for use. But it is a great punishment. When I take a phone I get instant obedience/cleaning/homework done type behavior. 

 
I think these are all our terms. Mostly put together from different sites that my wife researched.  Started when she was 12.

RESPONSIBILITY

 I am responsible for knowing where the phone is and if it is lost or damaged, it will my responsibility to replace it.

I understand that having a cell phone is a privilege, and that if I fail to adhere to this contract, my cell phone privilege may be revoked

I will give my parents access to my phone whenever they ask.

I will stop using my cellphone happily, whenever my parents ask

If I wouldn’t text or say it to my parents, I will not text it to my friends or put it on my social networks. What I do online stays with me forever and I don’t want to tarnish my reputation by sharing an inappropriate photo or comment.

Any selfies that I take will not contain anything inappropriate or anything that I would not feel comfortable sending to my parents.

USAGE

I may use electronic devices for two hours per day at home. 

Going on any inappropriate sites will result in immediate loss of use.

I cannot have the phone while doing homework, chores or any other activities that we determine require concentration.

I will not bring my cell phone to the family dinner table

I will not text or place phone calls after 8:00 p.m.

HONOR CODE

I understand that my cell phone may be taken away if I talk back to my parents, I fail to do my chores, or I fail to keep my grades up

I will obey rules of etiquette regarding cell phones in public places.

I will not use my cell phone to bully another

I will obey any rules my school has regarding cell phones, such as turning them off during class, or keeping them on vibrate while riding the school bus

I will not send threatening or mean texts to others

If Mom or Dad call me, I will answer right away, no exceptions. If for some reason I miss their call, I will call them back right away.

I will never message or talk to someone and then delete or hide it from my parents.

I will never share personal information such as name, address, phone number, school, etc.

My parents will always know my password.  I will never share my password with anyone else.

SAFETY

I promise I will alert my parents when I receive suspicious or alarming phone calls or text messages from people I don't know

I will also alert my parents if I am being harassed by someone via my cell phone

I understand that having a cell phone can be helpful in an emergency, but I know that I must still practice good judgment and make good choices that will keep me out of trouble or out of danger

I will not send embarrassing photos of my family or friends to others. In addition, I will not use my phone's camera to take embarrassing photos of others

Numbers that I don’t recognize will not get a response - texts or phone calls.

Parent Responsibilities

My parents will make themselves available to answer any questions I might have about owning a cell phone and using it responsibly

My parents will support me when I alert them to an alarming message or text message that I have received.

I understand that my parents have the right to set up monitoring software on my phone. I know that this is because they love me and want to protect me.

If my parents deem that my use of my smartphone is inappropriate, that I have crossed boundaries, or that I have not maintained my end of the bargain, I accept that my parents will remove my privilege of having a smartphone.

My parents have the right to revise and amend this contract at any time upon notifying me of the changes.

 
None. I trust they do the right things until they prove otherwise. If I think they’ve been on too long, I tell them to put them away. 

Never really been an issue. 

 
None. I trust they do the right things until they prove otherwise. If I think they’ve been on too long, I tell them to put them away. 

Never really been an issue. 
Pretty much how I raised my daughter. She was never allowed to have it at the dinner table. Only took a look or a short "Put it away"

Even to this day she doesn't use the phone when out or out to dinner with friends or us. 

 
My kids are still fairly young (8&7) so obviously no phones in their foreseeable futures but in terms of iPad usage there is no set rules but at most they are on them 1-2 hours a week. 

We started to let them play Wii a few months ago but only games where they have to be active like the sports ones and the dance ones. Trying our best to put strong limits on technology but I’m sure it will be a losing battle when they get older. 

 
Mine is 6, so probably too young to get into some of the bad stuff the pre-teens are probably doing.  Right now he uses our old devices, and every once and a while he games on one of ours.  My only rule is don't spend my money in clash Royale.  He doesn't make calls yet, but I wouldn't want a kid holding a phone up to their face for long periods.  I'm concerned about the radiation.

 
My best and only parenting advice is fart with your kids, as much as possible.  :thumbup:
My 11yr old comes over and asks to sit on Mom’s lap while we are watching TV. She opens her eyes wide with excitement at the fact he wanted to sit with her. He plops down; you know the rest. 

RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP 

:lmao:  

I can die knowing I did at least one thing right in this life. 

 
We have a very liberal policy with phones in our house. My 13 old daughter can have her phone in her room until 9:30 and then it is downstairs plugged in. On Fri/Sat night she gets to keep it all night. 

My daughter is a straight A kid-involved in everything, and understands that if a grade slips or she cops an attitude, that phone is gone.

We had the same policy with our 18 year old daughter and she was beyond a straight kid throughout school and is now in college and doing amazing.

There is no “one size fits all” when it comes to parenting, but I can tell you the key is communicaton. Our kids tell us everything and I mean things we may not want to hear. I know every little drama that goes on in their and the majority of their friend’s lives because they trust us to listen and not be judgmental. It is hard not to react, but knowledge is power. 

Is it always perfect? Nope, but I will take an 85-90% vs having draconian rules that you always feel like you are having to yell at them about.

Just my .02

 
We have a very liberal policy with phones in our house. My 13 old daughter can have her phone in her room until 9:30 and then it is downstairs plugged in. On Fri/Sat night she gets to keep it all night. 

My daughter is a straight A kid-involved in everything, and understands that if a grade slips or she cops an attitude, that phone is gone.

We had the same policy with our 18 year old daughter and she was beyond a straight kid throughout school and is now in college and doing amazing.

There is no “one size fits all” when it comes to parenting, but I can tell you the key is communicaton. Our kids tell us everything and I mean things we may not want to hear. I know every little drama that goes on in their and the majority of their friend’s lives because they trust us to listen and not be judgmental. It is hard not to react, but knowledge is power. 

Is it always perfect? Nope, but I will take an 85-90% vs having draconian rules that you always feel like you are having to yell at them about.

Just my .02
Pretty much this

 

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