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Kids...phones...social media...a caution to parents (1 Viewer)

sho nuff

sho nuff

Footballguy
Not that this hasn't been said a lot on here...but watch what your kids are sending and receiving.

Inform school officials of anything inappapriate from others and consider not even letting them on some of those platforms.

There have been 12 expulsions (well, 11...but will be 12 after this last one goes through due processs) in the last 2 years at my son's middle school.  10 of those 12...the evidence to expel came from some sort of messaging or social media.  Mostly bullying stuff...or other types of inappropriate messages...until Friday when it was due to a threat on the school.

At some point in January they received an anonymous call.  Vague info about a student hearing from another student that someone was planning something agaisnt the school.  Only gave grade, gender, and first letter of the "suspect".  School managed to narrow it down to the one kid...call this kid Student X.  School has an armed resource officer (all Middle and High Schools do in our district). Between district officials, school admin, and resource officer...a plan is set forth to talk to the student who isn't at school on the day in question.  Next step was for authorities to perform a home wellness visit.  I believe it was a police officer that went to Student X's home and spoke with the student and parent (s).  At that point...no evidence of any threat was found.

I believe there was one more call within a few days of this...this with even less information.

At some point in the last week (and the students that come forward said it was because of the Florida shooting that they did)...a student (Student A) comes forward and said they have seen messages by Student X about police and a threat.  Says Student B may have the messages.  Student B states they saw something on instagram and its checked (it ends up only being a message from Student X posted that the cops came to the house in January).  No other messages or info at this time.

At some point Friday morning...I can't recall if it was another student or Student B coming forward saying they think there was more, but they don't have their phone there.  In the process of reaching a parent to retrieve the phone...Student A comes forward saying they have more messages (screen shots even of older messages).  Messages dating back to October 2017 are found wherein Student X made a threat that was to happen in May.

Within 5 minutes, Student X was removed from class by administration and the resource officer.  Multiple levels of law enforcement, and district admin are contacted.  Within 30 minutes the district threat assessment team is at the school.  Student X and locker are searched as well as other areas.  No weapon found.  Within 2 hours, student X is removed from campus by police.

Lots of changes coming to the school...and talks about social media...about coming forward no matter if you think the threat is real or a joke...coming forward with bullying with anything.  Trying to remove the connotation that being a "snitch" is a bad thing...telling the truth is seen as a bad thing.

Scary stuff....and thankful that it was handled the way it was by the school with what info they had.  Thankful that after first dropping the ball a bit...Student A came forward with information.

 
This is such a tough kind of thing for schools to handle though. 

Tragedy happens.

Everyone asks ‘were there signs?’  

Often times media finds some signs buried on social media/texts/conversations etc.

Media then says ‘how can we prevent this?’  

Schools/LE/parents become hyper vigilant (in a good way IMO) finding ‘signs’

I get that there are proactive steps that can/should be taken. But how do you balance that with the potential for some kind of Salem-esque witch hunt?

Lots of kids tease/troll online. Not excusing it. If my kid was teasing others or faking threats I would be outraged. But if they got expelled for a poorly conceived text or post?  

 
mr roboto said:
This is such a tough kind of thing for schools to handle though. 
Click to expand...
Its tough on everyone.

The day after the Marshall County shooting in Kentucky - someone called in a bomb threat to my younger daughter's middle school.

The day after the Florida shooting, someone started a social media rumor at my older daughter's middle school about a planned shooting at the Valentines Dance.

Both turned out to be false alarms - but these threats take up resources.  And, now I fear, that LE will be inundated with threats, perceived and real, and won't have the resources to effectively process them all.

 
Very happy to see kids relaying threats and LEO responding promptly.

We WILL need a plan in place to deal with fake reports as pranks or bullying. Repercussions and whatnot. Ala swatting.

 Will be a balancing act. They said erring in side of caution is the right play always. 

 
Have to be a really ####ty parent to let your kid under like 15 on social media.

 
sho nuff said:
Not that this hasn't been said a lot on here...but watch what your kids are sending and receiving.

Inform school officials of anything inappapriate from others and consider not even letting them on some of those platforms.

There have been 12 expulsions (well, 11...but will be 12 after this last one goes through due processs) in the last 2 years at my son's middle school.  10 of those 12...the evidence to expel came from some sort of messaging or social media.  Mostly bullying stuff...or other types of inappropriate messages...until Friday when it was due to a threat on the school.

At some point in January they received an anonymous call.  Vague info about a student hearing from another student that someone was planning something agaisnt the school.  Only gave grade, gender, and first letter of the "suspect".  School managed to narrow it down to the one kid...call this kid Student X.  School has an armed resource officer (all Middle and High Schools do in our district). Between district officials, school admin, and resource officer...a plan is set forth to talk to the student who isn't at school on the day in question.  Next step was for authorities to perform a home wellness visit.  I believe it was a police officer that went to Student X's home and spoke with the student and parent (s).  At that point...no evidence of any threat was found.

I believe there was one more call within a few days of this...this with even less information.

At some point in the last week (and the students that come forward said it was because of the Florida shooting that they did)...a student (Student A) comes forward and said they have seen messages by Student X about police and a threat.  Says Student B may have the messages.  Student B states they saw something on instagram and its checked (it ends up only being a message from Student X posted that the cops came to the house in January).  No other messages or info at this time.

At some point Friday morning...I can't recall if it was another student or Student B coming forward saying they think there was more, but they don't have their phone there.  In the process of reaching a parent to retrieve the phone...Student A comes forward saying they have more messages (screen shots even of older messages).  Messages dating back to October 2017 are found wherein Student X made a threat that was to happen in May.

Within 5 minutes, Student X was removed from class by administration and the resource officer.  Multiple levels of law enforcement, and district admin are contacted.  Within 30 minutes the district threat assessment team is at the school.  Student X and locker are searched as well as other areas.  No weapon found.  Within 2 hours, student X is removed from campus by police.

Lots of changes coming to the school...and talks about social media...about coming forward no matter if you think the threat is real or a joke...coming forward with bullying with anything.  Trying to remove the connotation that being a "snitch" is a bad thing...telling the truth is seen as a bad thing.

Scary stuff....and thankful that it was handled the way it was by the school with what info they had.  Thankful that after first dropping the ball a bit...Student A came forward with information.
Click to expand...
You seem to know an awful lot of details, Sho nuff... or should I call you Mr. X?

 
RBM said:
Have to be a really ####ty parent to let your kid under like 15 on social media.
Click to expand...
Not sure if this is trolling or not but it’s a pretty extreme position. 

Although I would tend to be on your side of the argument most likely. 

 
RBM said:
Not trolling. It’s full of the most vile, disgusting people.  I see no upside. 
Click to expand...
You could say that about a lot of things.  If you've done your job as a parent and continue to do your job as a parent there should be no issue.  If you are too lazy to monitor your child's online activity well that speaks more to your poor parenting abilities.

 
TheFanatic said:
I have a 9 year old. Two kids in his class have iPhones. I've been rounding up other parents and letting them know that we are waiting until at least high school before the kids get a cell. It's going to be that much harder with parents giving them to their 4th graders. WTF
Click to expand...
My 11 yr old son knows better than to play the, "but friend X has a smart phone!!!"  My daughter is just 8 and kind of oblivious to this point.

They have their own kindle fire's but no social media accounts yet.

My wife is a 2nd grade teacher but is in a building that goes up to 6th.  She has a finger on the pulse of things to this point, but once the kids head off to 7th grade, we will be making a lot of tougher (what I would say is normal) parenting decisions.

 
Jayrod said:
My 11 yr old son knows better than to play the, "but friend X has a smart phone!!!"  My daughter is just 8 and kind of oblivious to this point.

They have their own kindle fire's but no social media accounts yet.

My wife is a 2nd grade teacher but is in a building that goes up to 6th.  She has a finger on the pulse of things to this point, but once the kids head off to 7th grade, we will be making a lot of tougher (what I would say is normal) parenting decisions.
Click to expand...
My 9 year old hasn't played that card yet. He's never played that card, but I'm guessing this will be the first time he does. The 7 year old is clueless as well. 

It's going to be harder and harder as the years go by. 

 
Another side of this is false reporting. My friend has had police to her house a couple times because some kid said her son was threatening to shoot up the school. I don't know all the details but I know it was very upsetting to her and no credible threat was found. 

 
Clown Car said:
Another side of this is false reporting. My friend has had police to her house a couple times because some kid said her son was threatening to shoot up the school. I don't know all the details but I know it was very upsetting to her and no credible threat was found. 
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Are you sure it wasn't one of your kids and you just lost track of who-is-whose? 

 
It is the big thing to do around here. We have had numerous threats against schools put out through social media. Luckily the majority of these kids are dumb as rocks and don't cover their internet tracks well. Ultimately, they get caught and get to spend some detention time. As I posted in another thread, one of the threats was very credible and included a very convincing video that resulted in 600 kids calling in sick the next day at the high school.

Kids have been using the safe2tell app here and it has led to a lot of discoveries of guns, drugs or even suicidal kids that just needed someone to talk to. 

We need a new law here in Colorado because the most these kids are going to be convicted of is Interference with Staff at an Educational Facility--which is a low level misdemeanor. There needs to be a new higher level felony created by our legislature to address social media threats that cannot be mitigated away under a defense of freedom of speech. 

 
TheFanatic said:
I have a 9 year old. Two kids in his class have iPhones. I've been rounding up other parents and letting them know that we are waiting until at least high school before the kids get a cell. It's going to be that much harder with parents giving them to their 4th graders. WTF
Click to expand...
I like being able to get ahold of my 11 & 12yo boys whenever I want  :shrug:

 
mozzy84 said:
I like being able to get ahold of my 11 & 12yo boys whenever I want  :shrug:
Click to expand...
I would like to like this post, but when my boys were that age, they usually didn't have them with them if I wanted to get ahold of them, or they would turn alerts off so their clash of clan battle wouldn't be interupted or whatever.

 
When my daugther age 12 started 7th grade she got a phone.  Still no social media other than texting.

First year without after care and with late bussing, after school sports , etc it made things easier.

She was the last one to get a phone among her friends.  I had to use family link because I used her real birthday,  any kid under 13 using google needs this now (unless you lie about the kids birthday)

 
My son just turned 13 and has been taking the S-Bahn to and from school for three years now.  He also has basketball practice twice a week in the city so he S-Bahn's there in the evening.  He's on multiple WhatsApp groups for sports and school.  I see no problem with it but I didn't raise a little punk either.

 
RBM said:
Most my kids do is YouTube kids on mine or my wife’s iPad. My oldest is 9. WTF are you talking about?
Click to expand...
How about WTF are you talking about? When you have a kid chasing their teenage years, then feel free to opine about what you think is right for them. Personally, I say start them somewhat early. Much easier to set expectations of how it will be supervised going forward 

 
Last edited by a moderator:
I will be holding off as long as possible before getting my 11 year old daughter a phone. She is already the only one of her friends without one. 

 
I don't see the big deal.   It wouldn't be a huge deal logistically right now with my 11 year old, but there's definitely some times that it would help.  For instance, today, she and my eight year old took a bike ride a couple miles to the downtown area of town and I would've liked to have been able to shoot them a text every few to make sure all was good.  So I'm cool with her having one, but the wife has final say.

 
Epic Problem said:
How about WTF are you talking about? When you have a kid chasing their teenage years, then feel free to opine about what you think is right for them. Personally, I say start them somewhat early. Much easier to set expectations of how it will be supervised going forward 
Click to expand...
Oh horse crap. Be a parent. 

 
Epic Problem said:
You're telling me to be a parent? You're the one stomping around saying no instead of teaching them about the inevitable and how to handle it responsibly.
Click to expand...
I agree with your premise, but don’t think it’s appropriate before 14-15. I feel like lazy parents are always looking to speed up the aging process. 

 
RBM said:
I agree with your premise, but don’t think it’s appropriate before 14-15. I feel like lazy parents are always looking to speed up the aging process. 
Click to expand...
Both of you just chill.

What works for your family may not work for other families

You equally suck at being parents, as much as we all do. 

 
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