What's new
Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums

Welcome to Our Forums. Once you've registered and logged in, you're primed to talk football, among other topics, with the sharpest and most experienced fantasy players on the internet.

Trouble shoot this family situation for me (1 Viewer)

Dentist

Dentist

***Official FBG Dentist***
Wife's cousin has wedding scheduled 11/3 - been scheduled 2 years.  They are close, my sons are the ring bearers in the wedding.

My sister just got engaged today.  Unbeknownst to me, she had been planning her wedding in advance of the engagement and scheduled it 11/3.

Wife and sister don't get along at all.  Wife afraid if she doesn't show to sister's wedding that she will really be black listed for life... But also doesn't feel like she should have to miss cousins wedding.

We both feel like we're in a lose lose and feel slighted no one asked about our availability before planning.

What would you do?

 
Don't feel slighted you weren't asked about the dates.  You really have nothing to do with the dates chosen and shouldn't have any say in that matter. 

Obviously in a tough spot and doesn't sound like reasonable heads will prevail.  I think you gotta split up with wife and kids going to cousin's wedding (already committed to being in the wedding) and you go to sister's wedding....because after all she is your sister (unless you don't get along and then it probably doesn't matter anyway. 

 
The General said:
Either split up (you go to your Sister's and wife goes with kids to her cousin's) or you all go to the cousin's wedding.

Sister would have to understand the scenario if you don't go. If she doesn't it's on her.

Tough call.
Click to expand...
Is sister's wedding set in stone? Explain situation to her. And then poop on her chest probably. Is this the right dentist? He's married with kids so I may be off base here.

 
Gally said:
Don't feel slighted you weren't asked about the dates.  You really have nothing to do with the dates chosen and shouldn't have any say in that matter. 

Obviously in a tough spot and doesn't sound like reasonable heads will prevail.  I think you gotta split up with wife and kids going to cousin's wedding (already committed to being in the wedding) and you go to sister's wedding....because after all she is your sister (unless you don't get along and then it probably doesn't matter anyway. 
Click to expand...
Yeah this is probably the best bet.  How close are the weddings/receptions?  Like could wife bail on cousin reception early and at least make an appearance at sisters reception?

hopefully they understand, if not, #### em

 
There is a way to thread this needle

if you approach sis and say wife is committed but you can split off... now your wife is the bad guy and it’s all about her 

you gotta take the focus off her her due to array strained relations

instead you tell sis your family is already committed to the cousin wedding, let her know how much it sucks but at no point do you show any seams in your (you and wifes) family armor. 

Sis might have plenty to say here. Be open to options / ideas but make it clear you already committed to the cousin. 

Eventually one your sis ideas will be for you to split up. Tell her you don’t think wife will be happy with that but you’ll see what you can do. Come back and say the wife felt awful for the sis, and she is willing to do whatever she can to mke her day work and of course you can split off 

 
Dentist said:
Wife's cousin has wedding scheduled 11/3 - been scheduled 2 years.  They are close, my sons are the ring bearers in the wedding.

My sister just got engaged today.  Unbeknownst to me, she had been planning her wedding in advance of the engagement and scheduled it 11/3.

Wife and sister don't get along at all.  Wife afraid if she doesn't show to sister's wedding that she will really be black listed for life... But also doesn't feel like she should have to miss cousins wedding.

We both feel like we're in a lose lose and feel slighted no one asked about our availability before planning.

What would you do?
Click to expand...
If your sister and wife don't get along, then split up. Because if it's not this, it will be something else that blacklists her for life. And you just need to explain to your sister that your wife and sons won't be there.

Her cousin's wedding is important too.

 
Dentist said:
Wife's cousin has wedding scheduled 11/3 - been scheduled 2 years.  They are close, my sons are the ring bearers in the wedding.

My sister just got engaged today.  Unbeknownst to me, she had been planning her wedding in advance of the engagement and scheduled it 11/3.

Wife and sister don't get along at all.  Wife afraid if she doesn't show to sister's wedding that she will really be black listed for life... But also doesn't feel like she should have to miss cousins wedding.

We both feel like we're in a lose lose and feel slighted no one asked about our availability before planning.

What would you do?
Click to expand...
You go to sister's wedding, wife takes kids to cousin's.

Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

 
wilked said:
There is a way to thread this needle

if you approach sis and say wife is committed but you can split off... now your wife is the bad guy and it’s all about her 

you gotta take the focus off her her due to array strained relations

instead you tell sis your family is already committed to the cousin wedding, let her know how much it sucks but at no point do you show any seams in your (you and wifes) family armor. 

Sis might have plenty to say here. Be open to options / ideas but make it clear you already committed to the cousin. 

Eventually one your sis ideas will be for you to split up. Tell her you don’t think wife will be happy with that but you’ll see what you can do. Come back and say the wife felt awful for the sis, and she is willing to do whatever she can to mke her day work and of course you can split off 
Click to expand...
Oh, this guy's clever.  Well played.

 
Dentist said:
Wife's cousin has wedding scheduled 11/3 - been scheduled 2 years.  They are close, my sons are the ring bearers in the wedding.

My sister just got engaged today.  Unbeknownst to me, she had been planning her wedding in advance of the engagement and scheduled it 11/3.

Wife and sister don't get along at all.  Wife afraid if she doesn't show to sister's wedding that she will really be black listed for life... But also doesn't feel like she should have to miss cousins wedding.

We both feel like we're in a lose lose and feel slighted no one asked about our availability before planning.

What would you do?
Click to expand...
Nobody cares if it fits your schedule.

Just go to the one that's most important and blow off the other.  If they don't understand then that's their problem not yours

 
tommyboy said:
Nobody cares if it fits your schedule.

Just go to the one that's most important and blow off the other.  If they don't understand then that's their problem not yours
Click to expand...
It's like the opposite of Wilked's answer!  Fascinating.

This is exactly why I read FBG.

 
wilked said:
There is a way to thread this needle

if you approach sis and say wife is committed but you can split off... now your wife is the bad guy and it’s all about her 

you gotta take the focus off her her due to array strained relations

instead you tell sis your family is already committed to the cousin wedding, let her know how much it sucks but at no point do you show any seams in your (you and wifes) family armor. 

Sis might have plenty to say here. Be open to options / ideas but make it clear you already committed to the cousin. 

Eventually one your sis ideas will be for you to split up. Tell her you don’t think wife will be happy with that but you’ll see what you can do. Come back and say the wife felt awful for the sis, and she is willing to do whatever she can to mke her day work and of course you can split off 
Click to expand...
This is the way to go for sure but two things:

1. You need to make your sister aware of the other wedding and your attendance ASAP.

2. Once it is settled that you will split up, start working on a date. No reason for you to go alone to the wedding. I suggest just hiring a pro.

 
:lmao:  feeling slighted they didn't ask you about the date first. 

As for the weddings just split the day, or go to cousin's wedding (since your boys are in the wedding) and then go to the sister's reception if the travel is possible. 

 
Been in the same type situation. If the wedding are close do your best to make both. 

 Go to the cousins wedding with your kids and make sure you seen by hugging the bride and groom looking right in their face and wishing them the best.  At the reception they will be too busy to miss you. Receptions are a blur to the married couple.

Blow out of there and then at the reception of your sister do the same..make sure you are seen.  Walk up and hug her a few times to make it known you are having a good time. 

Then when sister is all busy blow out of there and back to your cousins and say to her face what a great time you are having at her reception.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
2 years?  They set a date 2 years ago?  That's seems crazy, but I guess that isn't the issue.  I echo what others have said...divide and conquer.  Wife and kids fulfill commitment to cousin...you go to sister's.  You can't miss your sister's wedding.

Now that that issue is solved, let's get to the interesting part of this story.  Why aren't the wife and sister getting along?

 
msudaisy26 said:
:lmao:  feeling slighted they didn't ask you about the date first. 

As for the weddings just split the day, or go to cousin's wedding (since your boys are in the wedding) and then go to the sister's reception if the travel is possible. 
Click to expand...
That’s a good way to make everyone unhappy (including the Dentist)

at least split up each can enjoy themselves 

 
wilked said:
That’s a good way to make everyone unhappy (including the Dentist)

at least split up each can enjoy themselves 
Click to expand...
Would they really enjoy themselves then? Dentist has to field questions about why his wife and boys aren't there and even though his excuse is legit some people will speculate that it is because his wife and sister don't get along and I am not sure how anyone can have a good time at a reception watching a 3 and 4 year old. 

 
Last edited by a moderator:
msudaisy26 said:
Would they really enjoy themselves then? Dentist has to field questions about why his wife and boys aren't there and even though his excuse is legit some people will speculate that it is because his wife and sister don't get along and I am not sure how anyone can have a good time at a reception watching a 3 and 4 year old. 
Click to expand...
There is no chance of enjoyment that weekend regardless of how it shakes out.

 
Galileo said:
Now that that issue is solved, let's get to the interesting part of this story.  Why aren't the wife and sister getting along?
Click to expand...
Honestly I have no idea, wife doesn't either.  Sometime after our son was born the relationship deteriorated.

No good story

 
wilked said:
There is a way to thread this needle

if you approach sis and say wife is committed but you can split off... now your wife is the bad guy and it’s all about her 

you gotta take the focus off her her due to array strained relations

instead you tell sis your family is already committed to the cousin wedding, let her know how much it sucks but at no point do you show any seams in your (you and wifes) family armor. 

Sis might have plenty to say here. Be open to options / ideas but make it clear you already committed to the cousin. 

Eventually one your sis ideas will be for you to split up. Tell her you don’t think wife will be happy with that but you’ll see what you can do. Come back and say the wife felt awful for the sis, and she is willing to do whatever she can to mke her day work and of course you can split off 
Click to expand...
Too logical. 

Dentist should flip a coin. 

 
wilked said:
That’s a good way to make everyone unhappy (including the Dentist)

at least split up each can enjoy themselves 
Click to expand...
Dude, you already won this thread. Sit back and enjoy the well-deserved accolades. 

 
wilked said:
There is a way to thread this needle

if you approach sis and say wife is committed but you can split off... now your wife is the bad guy and it’s all about her 

you gotta take the focus off her her due to array strained relations

instead you tell sis your family is already committed to the cousin wedding, let her know how much it sucks but at no point do you show any seams in your (you and wifes) family armor. 

Sis might have plenty to say here. Be open to options / ideas but make it clear you already committed to the cousin. 

Eventually one your sis ideas will be for you to split up. Tell her you don’t think wife will be happy with that but you’ll see what you can do. Come back and say the wife felt awful for the sis, and she is willing to do whatever she can to mke her day work and of course you can split off 
Click to expand...
So you're using the sister as a means to split up the marriage. I like it.

 
msudaisy26 said:
Would they really enjoy themselves then? Dentist has to field questions about why his wife and boys aren't there and even though his excuse is legit some people will speculate that it is because his wife and sister don't get along and I am not sure how anyone can have a good time at a reception watching a 3 and 4 year old. 
Click to expand...
1. When did brides start actually caring that anyone have a good time on “their” day? Sure, they all say that they do, and their wedding is “different”, but really they want you to get dressed up so they can control where you go, what you eat, when you eat, and even where you sit for most of a day. Oh, and also you get to buy them a gift that they chose.

2. If I didn’t go to my sisters wedding over a cousin there would be hell to pay, unless I was prepared to alienate my parents as well. Sorry, that would  trump any 2 year advance reservation for me. Wouldn’t be happy about it, but that’s the way it would be. 

 
Anyway, unless my wife's cousin is more like my wife's sister who is her best friend in the world, the whole family is going to the sister's wedding. Can't believe this is actually a debate.

The cousin will find another cute kid to be the ring bearer. If she doesn't understand your family going to your own sister's wedding (your kids' aunt's wedding), she's nutso. All cause she booked the date first? FOH.

 
Tell them both you couldn't possibly choose between the two of them so you decided to go on a family vacation instead.

ETA:  A nice touch is saying you'll promise to be there for their next wedding.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
eoMMan said:
Split.

Get a divorce before 11/3 and go to sister's wedding. Get drunk and hit on bridesmaids.
Click to expand...
I assure you this is the wrong decision. The last thing you need is a bridesmaid driving 5 hours and showing up where you work the next week to surprise you for lunch. 

 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

fissure man
Teenage Daughters - Shoot me now, please and thanks
2
Replies
56
Views
2K
Wrigley
Wrigley
DJackson10
How would you handle this situation?
Replies
44
Views
1K
DJackson10
DJackson10
Anarchy99
Top 200 Bowie Recordings - #1 - Heroes
5 6 7
Replies
337
Views
16K
Ghost Rider
Ghost Rider

Users who are viewing this thread

Total: 2 (members: 0, guests: 2)
Top