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Creepy Guy at the YMCA (1 Viewer)

pyite76

Footballguy
Had a lousy experience at the YMCA last night, I'd love to hear some thoughts from the FFA. Sorry if it's long.  I'm pissed.  Should I be, or am I overreacting?

Backstory:  There is a creepy guy at the YMCA where I take my kids for swimming lessons.  The dude is just plain weird, and we've seen him there almost every time we go for lessons for the last 2 years.  My kids are 5 and 8.  The dude wears his suit (trunks and a shirt), a bandana on his head, headphones, and about 15 rubber bands (the kind used for physical therapy on shoulders) hanging around his neck everywhere he goes.  He also wheels around a suitcase with him, around the pool and into the sauna with him.  He goes in and out of the sauna numerous times, back and forth.  The sauna is located in the pool area.   I always knew he was "off", and perhaps suffering from some sort of mental health issues. Eccentric would be the PC way to describe him, to say the least.

As we went into the locker room after lessons, the dude is showering in the stall immediately facing the door you enter into the shower room (which connects to the locker room).  He is showering with the curtain open, staring at everyone entering who entering.  Dude is washing his junk, flopping it around while making eye contact with the men and their son's who are entering.

My son is 5.  I have to help him in the shower, and I won't let him be alone to shower while he is so young. The only stall that is open is directly across from him and his suitcase is on the seat, wrapped in a garbage bag.  He saw us trying to use the shower, apologized, and removed the suitcase while still washing himself.

We went in the shower and I began directing my boy to get down to business showering and to not screw around and waste time.  I put my back to him, completely aware and on guard of his goofy behavior, to shield my son.  Dude says to my back, "Why does big boy need dad to help him shower?  You should let him come shower alone, you're going to give him a complex. Let the boy shower alone!".  I ignored him, though I was PISSED.  My son heard him, and was noticeably taken aback and did not understand why dude was talking to us and referring to him.  We ignored him, hurried the shower, and went to get dressed.  My son was with a friend, and he went into the lobby to meet my wife and daughter so we could leave.  The whole time I was helping him get dressed and packing up, I knew I couldn't just let it go. 

When my son left, I went back to the shower and stood outside and addressed the wall, outside his stall.  "Don't ever speak to me or my son again. Ever."  He peeked his head out, still flopping his #### around and said, "You're going to give him a complex, when I see a big guy like you terrorizing a little boy, that's what I think."  I just repeated myself, "Don't ever speak to us again. Ever. Period," and walked out of the shower room.  As I walked away he gave me the whole smart a$$ commentary, "Sir yes sir! Yesss SIR" in the sarcastic military-esque voice, condescending and the like.  I was hot, my initial reaction was to wait for him to get dressed and kick the ever loving $hit out of him, and let him really understand I was serious.  This is me in my 20's. Me without kids.  Now I am able to calm down, and think first.  I walked away, and went to report it to the desk.

Am I nuts or is this unacceptable behavior?  IMO if you don't understand simple locker/shower room etiquette, you should not be allowed in the shower.  Do you talk to strangers in the shower at the gym?  I do not.  I do my business quietly and get dressed.  I'm still angry.  The neanderthal gene in me says I ####ied out and should have left no doubt in his mind how serious I was. The responsible adult in me is proud of how I handled it.

 
You were right to set things straight that it's not acceptable. And you were right not to Beat the #### out of him. Nothing to gain from Daddy going to jail. 

Tell the YMCA administrator about it and tell them how uncomfortable he made you and your son feel. If they are competent in the least they will investigate. They don't need that happening at their place.

 
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I would tell the Y. If it is a pattern of behavior, telling may get them sooner to enough justification to do something.

The touching himself while talking to you both in a way you thought inappropriate, I would stress.

 
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You handled it properly. That is very creepy. Now you need to start recruiting other members to complain about the guys creepy behavior. I’m sure the staff is well aware of this guy and with some complaints would be happy to ban him

 
Imagine, creepy older guys at the Y advocating that young boys not be monitored in the showers.  This has to be a first.  I presume the guy is a priest.  Ask Father Aqualung to seek communion with young boys other than your son.  Let him know that if he does not comply the next act of contrition you say will be for shanking his pedo ### in the shower.

 
This dude won't talk to another kid at the Y under my watch.  I don't care whose kid he is talking to, if he is addressing them without their parent present, I am stepping in.

 
I would have been swearing at this guy and telling him how I was going to beat his face in when he walks outside. I would have made fun of his suitcase and the way he acts too. You handled it very well.

 
Yeah, you handled it fine. Telling the YMCA management was going to be my suggestion which you've already done.

 
I would have been swearing at this guy and telling him how I was going to beat his face in when he walks outside. I would have made fun of his suitcase and the way he acts too. You handled it very well.
I'm telling you, every bone in my body wanted to do exactly this, only there would have been no prior warning.  Thanks be to God I didn't do this.  I've had the crazy gene come out anytime another person corrects my kid, but this one was tough to hold back.  I'm proud of myself for being mature, but at the same time my pride says a lesson needed to be taught to the creep.

 
This dude won't talk to another kid at the Y under my watch.  I don't care whose kid he is talking to, if he is addressing them without their parent present, I am stepping in.
zero chance you don't have a run in with this guy again unless he gets the boot.  He will talk #### to you again if he was doing the mocking yes sir bit

 
I'm 6'4", 280 pounds and an obvious former Offensive lineman.  I've always been able to avoid most fights by physical stature alone. He'd be really stupid to try and stir this up again.  After one warning, and a report filed, he'd really be poking the bear if he does try and approach me.  I made it clear in the report that I don't want an apology, I want him to look the other way when I am around, and my kids are off limits completely, with no exceptions.

 
I think you handled it fine. Guy clearly has issues

Just out of my own curiosity, why not wait until you get home for your kids to shower. Not saying you did anything wrong showering there, just wondering. 
My son has pretty sensitive skin, and the chlorine dries him out.  We also have a 25-30 minute drive home. Plus it's nice to just be done with the shower for the night, right after lessons.

 
I'm 6'4", 280 pounds and an obvious former Offensive lineman.  I've always been able to avoid most fights by physical stature alone. He'd be really stupid to try and stir this up again.  After one warning, and a report filed, he'd really be poking the bear if he does try and approach me.  I made it clear in the report that I don't want an apology, I want him to look the other way when I am around, and my kids are off limits completely, with no exceptions.
Were you wearing your jersey?

 
The whole locker room scene at the ymca is just creepy.   There's typically a bunch of old dudes walking around naked just have conversations with each other.   
That isn't just the Y. I worked at a pretty high end country club and the locker room for their gym was filled with naked old guys lounging around drinking coffee, watching tv, shooting the breeze, etc. It was really weird. 

 
The guy is a nut. You probably can't make him change his behavior, but at least you gave him a warning. Would it be something that could be reported to the police? 

Did your stall have a curtain? If not, or if you chose to leave it open, I think you made a mistake. You might consider waiting for a better stall location if there's a next time.

I would think it best not to have a violent confrontation in front of your kids, but I am also one who believes you have every right to defend your family. If authorities cannot or do nothing to protect your family, it wouldn't bother me if you found a way to end the threat on your own.

 
The guy is a nut. You probably can't make him change his behavior, but at least you gave him a warning. Would it be something that could be reported to the police? 

Did your stall have a curtain? If not, or if you chose to leave it open, I think you made a mistake. You might consider waiting for a better stall location if there's a next time.

I would think it best not to have a violent confrontation in front of your kids, but I am also one who believes you have every right to defend your family. If authorities cannot or do nothing to protect your family, it wouldn't bother me if you found a way to end the threat on your own.
Yes our shower had a curtain, it was half way closed, my body blocked the rest of the space between the curtain and the wall.  I was blocking him, for sure, and on purpose.

 
The guy is a nut. You probably can't make him change his behavior, but at least you gave him a warning. Would it be something that could be reported to the police? 

Did your stall have a curtain? If not, or if you chose to leave it open, I think you made a mistake. You might consider waiting for a better stall location if there's a next time.

I would think it best not to have a violent confrontation in front of your kids, but I am also one who believes you have every right to defend your family. If authorities cannot or do nothing to protect your family, it wouldn't bother me if you found a way to end the threat on your own.
Reporting to the police was in my head.  I agree, normally I would have waited for another stall but we were in a time crunch and I wasn't worried that I couldn't protect him.  I never imagined he'd address us specifically in the shower.  I was blocking him from the donger.

 
Handled it way better than a lot of people would have. Getting into a physical confrontation is a no win situation. Guy probably has a lot less to lose (assets) than you do.  

 
I'm 6'4", 280 pounds and an obvious former Offensive lineman.  I've always been able to avoid most fights by physical stature alone. He'd be really stupid to try and stir this up again.  After one warning, and a report filed, he'd really be poking the bear if he does try and approach me.  I made it clear in the report that I don't want an apology, I want him to look the other way when I am around, and my kids are off limits completely, with no exceptions.
Handled well, I'm a large man too - I don't want my son to see me violent either, although my temper sometimes gets the better of me. 

I would've been in and out as quick as possible, given a warning when my son was out of earshot's way and moved along, similar to you. 

Now, if this man ever says anything to either of your kids again, he's been warned, let him eat his food out of a straw for 6 weeks at that point, IMO. Your kids say the man said something sexually suggestive to them, no chance at all you'd be leaving in cuffs. 

 
Wait a second, something creepy happened in the mens showers at the YMCA?  If that isn't a safe spot, I don't know what is anymore.
:lol:

Yeah. I'm used to seeing all manner of weird/creepy at ours. But never had one of these nutters engage me or my kids.... I'd hope to react as well as the obvious offensive lineman if so, even though I'm more of an obvious clipboard holding QB.

 
:lol:

Yeah. I'm used to seeing all manner of weird/creepy at ours. But never had one of these nutters engage me or my kids.... I'd hope to react as well as the obvious offensive lineman if so, even though I'm more of an obvious clipboard holding QB.
I'm an obvious neurotic jew, no where near an obvious offensive lineman, but I come to expect high creep levels in mens' locker rooms, especially the shower area.  Hard to have a meaningful conversion with a creeper who is in the shower knocking his junk around.  I would request a private meeting with Y officials.  Then a private conversation with creeper. 

If he doesn't respect the size of an obvious offensive lineman, then he really is teh crazy.   

 
:lol:

Yeah. I'm used to seeing all manner of weird/creepy at ours. But never had one of these nutters engage me or my kids.... I'd hope to react as well as the obvious offensive lineman if so, even though I'm more of an obvious clipboard holding QB.
Dan McGwire was 6'8" 240  :shrug:

 
“Obvious offensive lineman” is awesome shtick. Just phenomenal. 
Maybe I don't understand the meaning of shtick, but I was just trying to make it known my size and how it's kept me out of fights for the most part in my life.  :shrug:

If I was drooling, had a mullet, and my sleeves cut off I could see how I would be mistaken for a defensive lineman... but I digress.

 
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I don't get this. 

In this day and age, one mention to the police that he was talking to your young child in the shower while touching himself should be enough to get him out of there, permanently.  If you don't get immediate satisfaction from the Y, tell them your next stop is the police.  God forbid this guy is truly a serious nut and does something you can't stop in time.

 
A schticky response would have been to tell him to get his mouth off of your son; not sure it’d have been appropriate though. 

 
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