Ever built a house? Would you do it again? (1 Viewer)

Back story (hopefully it doesn't turn out TLDR)

My wife and I have been kicking around the idea of buying a different house. We have been in ours 15 years and we are at the point of doing a lot of updates or just unloading it and buying something bigger. We have 5 children and with 3 of them out of the house, bringing home boyfriend/girlfriend, getting married, grandchildren probably coming at some point we are going to need more space for family get togethers.

My cousin is the owner of a construction business.  This last winter He bought 2 lots in a new addition and built a spec house on one of them, it is now finished.  We went and looked at it and of course the wife instantly fell in love with the floor plan and everything about it. We really hadn't considered a new house but the more we talked about it and kicked it around the more it seemed like the way to go.  We have a plan in place to sell our house to his son so we don't have to worry about listing our house and waiting for someone to buy it.  Unfortunately his son is only 2 years out of high school so him getting the loan for the house is a bit of a challenge, but his dad is going to do a loan on it letting him make the payments until he is able to get a loan on it.

Now the complicated part, my cousin is separating from his partner and going off on his own.  The new house is part of the separation and is going to his former partner. This is also complicating his son buying our house because the banker wants my cousin to wait until the separation is complete before putting any more money out due to start up costs of the new business etc.   His former partner is willing to sell the house to us, but said yesterday that he has someone ready to buy now with check in hand and he really wants to get rid of the house. 

My cousin made the suggestion to us to just walk away from the house and he would build us a house similar to the existing one on the other lot that he owns.  By the time the house is finished, he would be able to have the additional money to buy our home and the transaction would take place as we originally planned.  Building a house has never been in my wife's or my plans.  We have heard a few horror stories about building.  My wife has no desire to pick out cupboards, trim, doors, knobs, etc.  The idea is intriguing however because we could walk through the existing house one more time and not any changes that we would make, specific things that we like and get exactly what we want.

If you have built a house, would you do it again?  Was it a nightmare or a good experience? What is something you would definitely do different.

snellman said:

My cousin made the suggestion to us to just walk away from the house and he would build us a house similar to the existing one on the other lot that he owns.

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I wouldn't do anything related to your cousin's assets until the separation of his partnership is complete.  He might say this land has nothing to do with the partnership but you really don't know.

We enjoyed every minute of it.  We would do it again but can't see it happening because we now have exactly what we want in our forever home.  That said, my Spidey sense starts tingling anytime someone is going to enter into a contract with a relative.  That extra relationship seems to cause problems more often than not.

Everything above adds up to terrible idea

lets start simple. What makes your house so perfect for this teenager? There can only be two answers. 1) he is getting to purchase it below market price. 2) he is able to avoid a usual loan and thus transfer the risk to someone else (you or bank)

what makes your cousins spec house so perfect for you. The above scenario of walking through a spec house and specifying changes (tip - new homes start getting real expensive once you start “customizing”) applies to many new houses. 

Keep family and business separate 

Micro: Man, this whole situation is a damned mess and I'd run as fast as I could away from it.

Macro: I've been in construction my entire adult life (I'm 56) and have watched people who thought they could GC their own houses being built have heart attacks, divorces before the tile was set, and no bank account left. Unless you have a LOT of time and know what you are doing - and I don't mean just knowing what a 2x4 is - hire a pro to run the job for you. You'll appreciate the amount of years on your life it adds.

Lots of them. 

Hopefully I'll do a lot more.

Our first house was a spec house.  A little different in that it was just a builder who was putting up a bunch of houses in a neighborhood.  I would just say that if you're having a house built, make sure you go check on it often.  For instance, we paid extra for screwed down floors, I went to check it out as they were doing the floors and saw them nailing them in.  I had to get the builder on the phone and make him do it right.  I would consider getting another house built, but probably would want to know the builder better.

In your case it sounds like not a good situation with the circumstances around the separation.  I would stay away.

This is the dumbest idea around here in a long time

Yes and yes

Ignoring the business aspect I am not sure getting a bigger home is the way to go after the kids move out.

No.  Do not enter into this kind of relationship with family.  It will suck one way or another. Guaranteed.

Chaka said:

Ignoring the business aspect I am not sure getting a bigger home is the way to go after the kids move out.

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This was my first thought.  Shouldn't this be the time to start looking forward to downsizing?  3 of 5 are gone...the other two I assume aren't far behind.  You want a bigger house for the one or two times a year you will have get togethers?  Have your kids host the get togethers.

I don't build houses, I just have k4 buy me a new one every 9 months or so.  Easier.

Yes, no