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Guys who have cheated on their wife. Aftermath? (1 Viewer)

Sabertooth

Sabertooth

Footballguy
The I'm tired thread got me to thinking a bit about cheating on the spouse/hookups/side piece.  Anyway I have no thoughts of doing it but it is Friday so let's hear it.  How did it go? Did you care afterwards?  Did they ever find out?  Did you tell them?  Guilt?    I'm always curious too about having sex with somebody else after doing it with the same person for like 10-20 years.    Gotta be awesome.

So let us nice guys live vicariously through you.  If you want to keep security.  PM me and I'll post it anonymously.  You owe this to us.  

 
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I'm not proud of it, but I cheated on my wife. 

We were playing Monopoly, and I was the banker. First off, I'm always the racecar. Always. She picked the dog and my youngest kid picked the racecar. I was stuck with the thimble. They basically made me do it. I paid myself $400 every time I passed Go. The Free Parking money? That was all mine.

I won, but the shame sticks with me, like owning those cheapass Baltic and Mediterranean properties.

 
ProstheticRGK said:
I'm not proud of it, but I cheated on my wife. 

We were playing Monopoly, and I was the banker. First off, I'm always the racecar. Always. She picked the dog and my youngest kid picked the racecar. I was stuck with the thimble. They basically made me do it. I paid myself $400 every time I passed Go. The Free Parking money? That was all mine.

I won, but the shame sticks with me, like owning those cheapass Baltic and Mediterranean properties.
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I'm a proud slum lord. 

 
Anonymous post -

"About three years in I had a one night stand with a girl I met at a bar. Felt awful about it. Never told the wife, still regret doing it. About to hit our 20th anniversary now."

 
Pretty sure the first rule of cheating is to not tell anyone your cheating... unless you don't care if you get caught.  No one can keep a secret, and the last place I would want anything written is on the internet.

 
Someone always knows.  I unfortunately watched it play out at work (the process, not the act) and it sucked.  They thought they were so smart and nobody would find out. Wrong.

 
If and when I get married, I'd love for my wife to be open to other women joining the fray.  Seems like it would alleviate the need to hunt/gather on the low. 

 
Hey Guys. This can be a valuable discussion if people want to discuss the devastation that can follow cheating, we can do that. If this is to make light of cheating on your wife or turn something into jokes or Forum type stories, please find another board for that. 

 
I sincerely believe that prostitution, in an above board safe and legal form, could (and should) act as an institution that saves marriages.

Unfortunately we stigmatize and criminalize sex between consenting adults and treat sexuality as a source of shame.

 
I struggled through a few years of a declining marriage, multiple therapists, and and on-again-off-again "open marriage" arrangement that led to some good times.  But it was never really that comfortable for me, and to no one's surprise the marriage eventually ended.  It wasn't the extramarital stuff that led to it's demise, that was more a symptom of what was really going on which in the end we weren't able to fix.  Or perhaps more accurately, we got to a point where we weren't willing to try and fix it anymore. And going through a divorce, especially with kids involved, is no fun for anyone.

But we're both in better relationships now, and after a rough couple of years everyone is happier.  So a happy ending (can we still say that here?).

 
Yankee23Fan said:
Never have, never will..... but I have represented a fairly large number of men who did.

I've never had one of them say it was worth it.
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That's been my experience. 

I have two friends, one very close and one pretty close who've dealt with this. One tried to keep the marriage together and spent massive amounts of time and energy on it and eventually it imploded. The other has managed to keep it together for a year or so now and it seems headed on a positive track. Both cases the damage and aftermath was devastating. I think both guys would say it's by far the worst decision they ever made. 

I know it'll get lots of :lmao:  for not letting this thread run, but this is real stuff with real consequences.

With that said, cheating is often a symptom of another problem. There are tons and tons of marriages where spouses are unhappy. I'd urge guys to seek counseling if that's you. There's sometimes a negative stigma for counseling. That's ridiculous. If you're having trouble, seek some help there. 

 
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From PM.  

I have never told anybody about this...

Wife was out of town. I was doing a 24 hour relay walk fundraisers. It was at the track of the high school I graduated from. Ran into a a girl I went to high school with. Not just any girl, one of those girls. You know, the ones that everybody ogles and wonders what it would be like to date. Especially her since she pretty much never dated anybody. Usually when you see these girls years later you wonder what all the fuss was about back then. Not this one. She was still stunning. Still insanely fit just like she was still on the soccer team. She approached me on the grass just before I was getting ready to take my shift. Asked if she could walk with me. I barely got out an awkward "sure" as I coughed. We walked two laps in dead silence. She finally starts laughing and tells me she can't believe how awkward this is for her as she always had a huge crush on me back in high school. I am pretty sure if my head whipped to the left today as quickly I would have a sore neck for weeks. 

I explain how I always had a huge crush on her as well. We start talking/flirting/reminiscing. I tell her I am married, she tells me she knows that, and pretty much before we know it my two hour shift is up. It is like 11 or 12 at night now. My next shift is early in the morning. I am there with coworkers that I dont socialize much with so I tell them I am going to sleep at home. I ask her if she wants to go grab a drink. She says she would rather just keep walking. So we walk to the back end of the parking lot where the nature trails begin and walk toward the biology pond. She asks me if I think they still have the paddle boats at the pond. So we go look. They actually still have 4 or 5 paddle boats, but they are all chained together. We notice they actually aren't chained to anything. So she decides she wants to put them in the water and try to paddle. I am kind of freaking out since I am generally one heck of a rule follower. But I am still a young enough and dumb enough male that the whims of a beautiful girl wearing a sports bra and union jack shorts sparking all sorts of high school fantasies/memories is too powerful to resist. So before you can say stinky pond water we have every paddle boat in the water. She hops on and starts climbing across them. I suggest that the best way to do this is to be in the outside boats so we will have the most control. She laughs and comes back across the boats and grabs my hand tells me we wont really be paddling. I laugh and say something dumb like yeah probably wouldnt really go anywhere anyway, those things barely worked right when it was just one boat. She smiles and says I think you know what I meant. 

Now I feel kind of weird getting into details about what happened next, so I apologize it is going to be a short version. I also dont want to break any rules here. So there we are out on the stinky high school biology pond, having sex on the paddle boats that high school kids (us inlcuded from back when we attended) use to go out and collect different algae, plant, and tadpole and minnow specimens. Just so weird and exciting all in one. It was a good dot considering the unromantic mostly disgusting surroundings. We share several laughs after and start to figure out how we are going to paddle back to the beach landing. It doesnt work no matter which way we try. So now I realize I have to jump in this stupid pond. The excitement has worn off and I start freaking out about the whole situation. Realize what I have done, worried about getting in legal trouble, even worrying about somehow breaking the boats. So I jump in wade through the disgusting muck and pull her and the boats to shore. She slips climbing back over the boats and ends up about thigh deep in the muck too. The smell is awful. We run to my car. I have a few golf towels we clean up as best we can and all we can think about is just getting clean. I live very close so we go to my house and hose each other off. I grab some more towels. We go inside and each take a shower and we wash our clothes. I drop her back off at the school and we agree we will talk about it more on our next shifts walking together. I head home and go to sleep. 

The next day on the track walking laps I see her arrive and am instantly nervous as heck. She walks out and before I can say a thing, she quickly tells me how sorry she is and how bad she feels and that she doesn't want to talk about it, ever. To anybody. She then drops back and walks with some of the people from another group. I finish my shift and that's that. I literally never spoke to her again. I learned through mutual friends later her mom was diagnosed with cancer not long after and her sister died like 6 months after that. Then her mom died like a year later and from what I understand she moved to colorado and didnt really handle all of that very well. I am sure to her our encounter became a nothing thought in her life that she didn't much think of as she tried to figure out all sorts of other problems. 

I never told a soul. I dont think she has either.   

 
Joe Bryant said:
That's been my experience. 

I have two friends, one very close and one pretty close who've dealt with this. One tried to keep the marriage together and spent massive amounts of time and energy on it and eventually it imploded. The other has managed to keep it together for a year or so now and it seems headed on a positive track. Both cases the damage and aftermath was devastating. I think both guys would say it's by far the worst decision they ever made. 

I know it'll get lots of :lmao:  for not letting this thread run, but this is real stuff with real consequences. I think it's good to get a grasp of that.

With that said, cheating is often a symptom of another problem. There are tons and tons of marriages where spouses are unhappy. I'd urge guys to seek counseling if that's you. There's sometimes a negative stigma for counseling. That's ridiculous. If you're having trouble, seek some help there. 
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You locking it down JB? Seems premature.

Let it go on for a bit, we may surprise you.

 
I’m 8 years in and happy to say this hasn’t been me. The last couple years though have found out it has happened in 4 marriages we know. I believe they are all “working through it” to some degree. Agree with thoughts above, can’t see how it’s worth it between the suffering of the wronged party and the suffering the other will have to go through to “fix” it. 

 
Well looking back a few posts, I think it's safe to say everyone may as well quit posting. This is turning into the NFT...the No Fun Threads. I can't believe EG's story thread lasted with all of that scandalous material. Anyone want to start a thread on quilting or sewing??

 
Joe Bryant said:
That's been my experience. 

I have two friends, one very close and one pretty close who've dealt with this. One tried to keep the marriage together and spent massive amounts of time and energy on it and eventually it imploded. The other has managed to keep it together for a year or so now and it seems headed on a positive track. Both cases the damage and aftermath was devastating. I think both guys would say it's by far the worst decision they ever made. 

I know it'll get lots of :lmao:  for not letting this thread run, but this is real stuff with real consequences.

With that said, cheating is often a symptom of another problem. There are tons and tons of marriages where spouses are unhappy. I'd urge guys to seek counseling if that's you. There's sometimes a negative stigma for counseling. That's ridiculous. If you're having trouble, seek some help there. 
Click to expand...
I agree with all of this. 

 
Chaka said:
You locking it down JB? Seems premature.

Let it go on for a bit, we may surprise you.
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Not locking it at all. I mean run on the joke or Forum story line. It's exceptionally valuable discussion if it can be serious. 

 
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GoBirds said:
I’m 8 years in and happy to say this hasn’t been me. The last couple years though have found out it has happened in 4 marriages we know. I believe they are all “working through it” to some degree. Agree with thoughts above, can’t see how it’s worth it between the suffering of the wronged party and the suffering the other will have to go through to “fix” it. 
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I can't see the "working through it" to be honest.  It's like when the trust is gone, it's gone. 

 
Walking Boot said:
So, only discussion that follows your own ideology is allowed? 
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It's not news I mostly set what's allowed.

If this is to make light of cheating on your wife or turn something into jokes or Forum type stories, please find another board for that. 

 
Walking Boot said:
:whoosh:

"Devastation", "making light", and "jokes or Forum type stories" are not the only options, Joe. There are others. Seems like you're set only discussing things from the perspective of a priest. There are other perspectives out there. If we have to follow the Catholic worldview on these boards, you should probably just come out and state that up front.
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Not sure how to make it any more clear for you. For the third time, If this is to make light of cheating on your wife or turn something into jokes or Forum type stories, please find another board for that. 

 
Walking Boot said:
:whoosh:

"Devastation", "making light", and "jokes or Forum type stories" are not the only options, Joe. There are others. Seems like you're set only discussing things from the perspective of a priest. There are other perspectives out there. If we have to follow the Catholic worldview on these boards, you should probably just come out and state that up front.
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I don't know what world you're living in, but now way would stories of the Catholic worldview fly around here anymore. :rimshot: 

 
Sabertooth said:
The I'm tired thread got me to thinking a bit about cheating on the spouse/hookups/side piece.  Anyway I have no thoughts of doing it but it is Friday so let's here it.  How did it go? Fun?  Did you care afterwards?  Did they ever find out?  Did you tell them?  Guilt?  Fun?   I'm always curious too about having sex with somebody else after doing it with the same person for like 10-20 years.  How fun would that be?  Gotta be awesome.

So let us nice guys live vicariously through you.  If you want to keep security.  PM me and I'll post it anonymously.  You owe this to us.  
Click to expand...
I never have but had a former co worker and current one who cheated on their spouses. The girl was about 10-15 yrs older then my male co worker were neighbors and she use to babysit him. Both the male and his fiancée went to my school. He apparently cheated on her once before. The second time she found out a month before their wedding and dumped him. I've heard rumors but nothing confirmed that she found them or her the girls husband found them in bed together. All I know is the fiancee found the text came running into my store one night looking for her ready to throw down and about to cut a ##### and go DMX on this girls ###. The older women is a crazy loon who I feel once was trying to hit on me on me back in HS. I ended up calming my friend down before anything happened and the women luckily wasn't working that night. I really haven't seen her fiancee since before this and she moved down to Maryland to teach and got married to a great guy. But according to people who have seen him it feels more like he doesn't think he ever did anything wrong. The crazy loon at work has always pledged her innocence too. Either way no one ever got the full story and I've yet to really ask my friend about it because of her moving out of state. I'm just glad no one got physically harmed and my friend I don't know why the dude would cheat on her because she's really hot. 

 
I had a relative recently walk into a bar owned by the "Other man's" family and pound the #### out of a guy who was sleeping with his wife.  Now he's heading to jail.

 
Having seen it happen with kids involved.....interested to get thoughts on what’s the move if you were cheated on? Get the heck out? Kids don’t deserve to suffer cause your spouse is a tool though? What’s the consensus. 

 
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