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How often do you...? (Your Parents) (1 Viewer)

share your feelings with your parents (beyond how job/kids/family are doing?)

  • Often

    Votes: 19 12.3%
  • Sometimes

    Votes: 44 28.6%
  • Rarely

    Votes: 61 39.6%
  • Never

    Votes: 30 19.5%

  • Total voters
    154
Very luke warm relationship with my parents.  I won't go into details, but had a falling out with my dad several years ago.  Made amends, but things have just been "ok" since then.  After we were talking again, we had a family bru-ha-ha over Thanksgiving one year.  My dad was asking me about my point of view, and I decided I'd see where we were.  I said "can I tell you something that just stays between you and me, and not even mom?"  He agrees, and I tell him my matter of fact opinion.  Two days later my brother calls me asking why XYZ upset me.  I haven't bothered to trust my dad with anything since, so that kind of limits the relationship.

I see my parents mostly at either holidays, and they will come to my kids sporting events.  Then a few random times over the year.  It's not as bad as the first paragraph makes it seem, we spent a week together in Hilton Head last month.

I never call just to talk.  We never have them to our house for dinner.  We don't get together like that too much.  If we are seeing each other, there is some reason. :shrug:  

 
My parents - even at their ages (81, 71) - help with childcare from time to time.  Maybe 1-2 times a month.  

My wife works nights, so I'll occasionally go out to dinner with them and the kids, especially if wife works on a weekend night.

They live close, so we'll go over there for special occasions and even some not-special occasions.  

So it's somewhere between once a week and once/twice a month.  

Due to scheduling of the childcare and other things going on, I probably call more than once a week.  Ongoing text messaging.

 
i have a good relationship but don't talk all that much.

I never really did.   When they go down to florida I barely talk to them and it drives my dad and mom nuts.

My dad doesn't chit chat and neither do I.

They keep up with my wife and daughter via facebook and all anyway so we're not cutoff or anything.

I talk to my dad more about something that pops up but we play golf when we can. I see my mom when they come to my daughters games :shrug:

 
Different for my mom and dad. See and talk to my dad much more often. 
Same here.  Talk to Dad every couple of days.  Saw him once a week at least for the past 9 years, although he's about to move 3+ hours away now so that's going to drop to probably every other month or so.  We talk about everything, not just "hey what's been going on lately" kind of stuff. 

Haven't spoken to or seen Mom in two years, and have no plans to.  Different story for a different thread. 

 
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See them maybe once a month each. Talk to them every 2-3 days. I walk he dog and give them a call since my dad works from his home and my mom is retired. There’s not many people to call during the work day, so I’ll send a call if I’m open. I mainly chat tv and sports with dad, whatever with mom. 

 
I really didn’t talk to my parents at all over the last 25-30 years. Dad wouldn’t have anything to do with me because I’m weird and have too many kids. Mom is an alcoholic who was homeless or in and out of jail/shelters. So I just went on with my life. Now they both have cancer. Mom is in Hospice care so I try to call her once a week but I actually forget. I know that makes me horrible but I will just forget for a few days then call. Conversation is always the same. How are you, nothing new. Dad just got out of the hospital from his stem cell transplant and is doing very well. I try to call him once a week too but again sometimes I forget. I try to text him every day but still sometimes forget. 

 
Parents have been divorced since I was 5 so answering poll here..

See parents - See my Dad about 8-10 times a year... Haven't seen my Mom for over 11 years.

Call - Call my dad twice a year.. His birthday and Fathers day.. Can't remember the last time he called me.. Probably 2 or 3 years ago... Mom.. Haven't talked with her on the phone for 9+ years.. 

Appreciate them? ... :lmao: once I turned 18 I might as well as have moved to Mars for as much support they gave me.

Share feelings - they'd have to give a bleep about me and my family for me to share feelings.

 
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Saw my parents last week. It had been two years before that, we've seen each other probably 5 times in the past decade.  They live a day's drive away and life has been busy the last couple decades. 

Talk to them roughly 3x / month. 

We have a cordial relationship, I respect my mom more than anyone I know, but we just don't have that much to talk about now. 

We see my in laws a couple times a month but they live less than 2 hours away and they make an effort. 

Feelings? You mean like when the Jayhawks lose in the tournament or the Tide wins another championship? Sure

 
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My mom passed away 10 years ago, do my best to stay in regular contact with my Dad. Text him more than I talk to him but talking and seeing him more as he is having some health issues. 

 
Saw my parents last week. It had been two years before that, we've seen each other probably 5 times in the past decade.  They live a day's drive away and life has been busy the last couple decades. 

Talk to them roughly 3x / month. 

We have a cordial relationship, I respect my mom more than anyone I know, but we just don't have that much to talk about now. 

We see my in laws a couple times a month but they live less than 2 hours away and they make an effort. 
About the same here.. inlaws live 5 miles away... See them a few times a month because, as you said, they make the effort to be part of our lives...

My Dad has never just called to say "hey, I am in town and thought we'd stop by".. He lives 10 miles away and at least 3 or 4 times a month is in our town to shop at walmart.. If I don't email him to setup time to see him I don't hear from him. :angry:

I guess I can thank him for one thing.. For teaching me how NOT to be a Dad as I will never be OK seeing my daughter only when she calls. 

 
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About the same here.. inlaws live 5 miles away... See them a few times a month because, as you said, they make the effort to be part of our lives...

My Dad has never just called to say "hey, I am in town and thought we'd stop by".. He lives 10 miles away and at least 3 or 4 times a month is in our town to shop at walmart.. If I don't email him to setup time to see him I don't hear from him. :angry:

I guess I can thank him for one thing.. For teaching me how NOT to be a Dad as I will never be OK seeing my daughter only when she calls. 
:goodposting:

Only lesson I learned from my parents was how not to be a parent.

 
My dad died 20 years ago at age 57, but I used to talk to him 3 or 4 times per month. I lived in a different state than my parents at that time. We would talk sports, politics, superficial day to day family stuff, etc.  My dad was not an emotive man and, although he showed it regularly, I don't think he ever told me he loved me. I followed suit and rarely (if ever?) said those words to him and I regret that. 

My mom died 2 months ago but lived in an assisted living facility 1 block from my office over the past 3 years. I saw her 4-5 days a week over the past 3 years and we expressed our feelings frequently.  I'm very grateful that we had that time.

 
My mom lives 2 miles from me. I see her a few times a month. I've outsourced calling her to my wife. We don't talk about feelings.
My parents are less than a mile away and have also outsourced most communication to the wife.  My dad is great at yard work and will help is on projects.  

I have some unresolved issues with them...

 
Great thread @Captain Cranks

One thing I did a while back.

My parents divorced when I was 8. My real father is a big personality, super outgoing guy. Lifelong entrepreneur and risk taker. 

My mother remarried when I was 10 and I got the world's best step dad. But opposite personality from my father. My Pop is quiet, calm and steady. Worked for a corporation his entire career. 

I was the typical teenage snot growing up stomping out of the house on occasion with the "you're not my real dad" stuff. He never batted an eye and just loved me and my brother unconditionally. When I was a teenager, I thought my step dad was kind of not cool. Looking back as an adult, I see he was a rock star. 

When I was about 30 years old, I sat my mom and my step dad down and apologized for how I'd acted to him. And told him how much I admired how he showed me unconditional love and grace. He was super appreciative as you can imagine. He showed me what it was to be a man and a father. He knew he did the right thing. But me telling him I knew he did the right thing was important I think.

 
I have seen my father 2 times in the last 10 years. I talk to my mother daily and see her 3 - 5 times a week. She watches out daughter a couple times a week, we go to church together and we talk about almost everything and I tell her and show her how much I appreciate her all the time.

Difficult to answer the question since both my parents are on the exact opposite side of the spectrum.

 
my parents live a few states away from me now. Dad comes up over the summer every year while my mom comes up every year or so. i will drive down to visit my dad for the holidays every other year. i don't do the holidays with my mom because she doesn't want to travel and it's too expensive to fly us all down. i talk or skype with my dad every 2-3 weeks. i might skype with my mom every other mom. i follow my mom on FB in order to tabs on her. i haven't spoken to my brother in probably 3-4 years and don't lose any sleep over it anymore.

 
Really interesting thread.  For me the big takeaway of this thread is a sobering reminder, for those of us who are fortunate to still have two parents here and good relationships with them, that we should tell them more often while we can how great they are and how we feel about them, because time is precious and fleeting. Mine are both in their late 60s, and we have family histories of heart disease and cancer on both sides.  So I have to stop and take a breath more often, take stock, and be grateful for them.

Thanks.

 
Really interesting thread.  For me the big takeaway of this thread is a sobering reminder, for those of us who are fortunate to still have two parents here and good relationships with them, that we should tell them more often while we can how great they are and how we feel about them, because time is precious and fleeting. Mine are both in their late 60s, and we have family histories of heart disease and cancer on both sides.  So I have to stop and take a breath more often, take stock, and be grateful for them.

Thanks.
My mom passed away when she was only 50 and I lament the fact that she's not here to watch me and my children grow up.  Meanwhile, my Dad is still alive, but I don't have much of a relationship with him.  It's not because we don't love each other or that I don't admire him.  He's always been my hero.  But we both let distance and laziness get in the way of fostering anything meaningful.  I tell myself that I'm going to do a better job of keeping up with him, but year after year passes and I seem to do even worse.  I hope I don't reach the day when he's gone and I never got my act together and made the effort to build a better relationship with him.  I'm sure he feels the same way, but we just don't seem to be naturally built to communicate with each other like others are. 

 
Really interesting thread.  For me the big takeaway of this thread is a sobering reminder, for those of us who are fortunate to still have two parents here and good relationships with them, that we should tell them more often while we can how great they are and how we feel about them, because time is precious and fleeting. Mine are both in their late 60s, and we have family histories of heart disease and cancer on both sides.  So I have to stop and take a breath more often, take stock, and be grateful for them.

Thanks.
Late 60s is not that old.  Plenty of time.

 
Blessed to have great parents.  They are in their early 80s and still very mobile and lucid.  Going camping with them this weekend.  Great knowing my kids get to know their grandparents like I was never able to. 

 
Very tight with my parents. They live about 5 minutes away from us and we usually see them a few times a week. I'm very grateful for the relationship they have with my wife and I. What I'm most thankful for is that they are super tight with my kids. They take our kids out to breakfast every Saturday morning, attend all sporting events, my dad helps them write and edit their school papers, my mom takes them cloths shopping for school, dad going on all college visits with us for my oldest daughter, the list of things we/they do together is quite long. It helps that my parents are fairly hip and my dad has always been tech savvy so he can relate with the kids and their devices. We aren't super touchy feely but you can feel the love. I can talk to them about anything and get good feedback, they are very supportive. I actually enjoy hanging out with my parents, and my extended family for the most part, we fortunately have a very drama free family which is great. 

My Wife's parents have always been more into their own thing. We only see them on holidays and special occasions. That was tough on my wife for a long time until she just accepted that they just weren't into hanging with us and the kids. Sometimes it makes it harder seeing how involved my parents are but she has learned to let it go.

 
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Don't really talk to my parents.  They live out of state now, so maybe a text message once or twice a month to see how they're doing.  But it is recipricol.  They don't really reach out to me, and I don't really reach out to them.  Even when we lived in the same city, the relationship was the same.  Maybe see them once a month.  Now that they are out of state, more than likely once a year or so.  Can't really afford to take the family to them, and they don't have the money to come to us.

We don't talk via FB, as I have given up on that following a bunch of family arguments/cat fights on there.  I don't need the hassle.  My wife never bought into it, so she doesn't have an account either.

My side of the family has been weird for the last 20 years.  They have their own cliques (aunts, uncles, cousins) and I don't want to get caught up in it, nor do I want my kids caught up in it.  Singularly, I get along with everyone, but in a group setting I can't stand them.  Overly racist and white trash - but won't admit to it even when they openly talk about it.  It frustrates me to the point, the last get together I grabbed my wife and kids and told them it was time to go.  I haven't spoken to anyone from my family after that party for almost 2 years now.

Sorry for venting, back to my parents.  Our relationship has been this way since before I was engaged.  My mother and aunt said some very mean things about my wife that I just couldn't stand.  I called them out on it, and to this day there have been no apologies.  My dad has tried to mend things, but it hasn't helped.  The relationship is what it is, and there are times I feel like I should do more to mend it, but it still bothers me to this day.

 
i have a good relationship but don't talk all that much.

I never really did.   When they go down to florida I barely talk to them and it drives my dad and mom nuts.

My dad doesn't chit chat and neither do I.
This is pretty much exactly my situation. I have a good relationship with them, but don't call just to chat. We live about an hour away from each other and get together once or twice a month

 
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I've never felt a compulsion to have a relationship with someone just because we're related. 

My parents got divorced when I was 8 and neither handled it well. I grew up with my mother and visited my father a couple times a year (he lived about 800 miles away). After a few years, he and my mother had a custody dispute and he decided that if he couldn't have his way, he'd just not have my siblings and I visit at all. He'd remarried quickly and his new wife hated me anyway. Eventually, he stopped calling, too. 

My mother constantly made it clear that she saw me as a burden and couldn't wait for me to get out on my own. She eventually got married to an ####### my siblings and I didn't care for. Since I left home, my mother has made an effort to stay in touch. I don't like her, but I talk to her when she calls and see her and the rest of the family at holidays (my siblings and I have never been close). I figure, when she dies, I won't have to deal with any of them any more. 

 

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