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Dinner Was Ruined (1 Viewer)

rockaction

rockaction

Footballguy
Did I handle this correctly?

So my niece comes back from college, it's the first time I see her, my brother only has custody of her for the night, so we (my family and I) go out to dinner. At the Macaroni Grill, sadly, but that's what we got. So anyway, this is a place that's made us wait an hour and a half for our food before, has generally given bad service, etc. I don't really want to go there, but that's where the family is going, so I say okay. So we order. And wait. And wait. The table of fourteen that has come in after us gets served. Reasonably soon after (and I say this charitably) we get served. We've been talking the whole time, having a good time, catching up. The food comes out. It's 

  • cold
  • wrong
Mine is non-existent. We've been waiting an hour, mind you. They look confused. I tell them calmly, nicely, to take my food off the order and the bill. They insist that they'll get it. But I don't want to wait another ####### hour for food. So I say, firmly, " no, I don't want that. Please don't serve me and remove the charge from the bill, please." Keep in mind I'm being calm. The waitress starts to cry. I don't have my glasses on so I can't see, but this is what my family tells me. It gets uncomfortable, as if it wasn't already. So my mother starts saying "rock, rock" like I'm supposed to change what I'm saying. I don't want to be there for another hour. 

It ends. Then the manager comes over. Asks about the lamb shank. I say, "please just bring me a piece of bread and forget it." 

On the way to the parking lot, get a lecture from the Moms telling me that I was making everybody "uncomfortable." I'm not one to ruin a server's night, though. 

I'm sideways and on tilt. What is this ####?  What's the pro play?  

 
I think you handled it perfectly. You didn’t feel like waiting another hour for a lamb shank and requested that it be taken off the bill. They should’ve taken it off the bill no questions asked. You never blamed the the server for the food being cold (did you?) because if it’s that busy, why the hell do they not have an expo and food runners? If she’s going to cry because you remained calm and ask that the no-show food be taken off the bill, she’s in the wrong field of work 

 
I have to ask...You said that the food came out cold?

Are you talking all of the entrées or just a few? If all the hot entrees came out cold, that means that food had been sitting there, not under a heat lamp, which tells me that they have a bunch of cooks who don’t know how to time different dishes

And wrong to boot? F*** them but how many covers and how many were cold and/or wrong?

 
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Jules Winnfield said:
I have to ask...You said that the food came out cold?

Are you talking all of the entrées or just a few? If all the hot entrees came out cold, that means that food had been sitting there, not under a heat lamp, which tells me that they have a bunch of cooks who don’t know how to time different dishes
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Just some came out cold. Some came out hot. I think there's major mismanagement there. 

I'm just upset that my declaration and assertiveness could be seen as ruining dinner. That was never my intention.  

 
You didn’t ruin dinner, they did.

Im still baffled by the server starting to cry. 

You never took it out on her or blamed her for the incompetence of these “chefs” allowing cold food to go out?

 
I think you handled it well. Honestly--the restaurant screwed up--not you.  I'm shocked they didnt offer to bring you the entree quickly and for free.  Even more so than your entree--they should have comp'd some sort of desserts or treats to the entire table for all of their screwups with your group.  It sucks that you got painted as being the source of tension unfairly.  

 
Jules Winnfield said:
You didn’t ruin dinner, they did.

Im still baffled by the server starting to cry. 

You never took it out on her or blamed her for the incompetence of these “chefs” allowing cold food to go out?
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No. I simply asked her to remove my entree from the bill. No kidding, no lie. It's weird. We're a passive family, I guess. Californian, where you don't upset anything and wait an hour for cold food. 

It's bizarre to me.  

I never raised my voice, nor got caustic. Just tried. I'm just wondering how to negotiate this better in the future.  

 
Like I said, never took it out on the server. Just simply asked for the food to be removed from the bill and that I didn't want it. I wasn't pouting or causing a scene. She kept pushing. And when she came back around to our table and asked how we doing and we all nodded "fine," she said, "but you don't have your food." 

No ####.  

 
Otis said:
If everyone at the table was embarsssed by his behavior, I’m thinking not. 
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I never said that. I only said one interpretation was that people were uncomfortable. I know it's only one side of the story, but I wasn't on tilt until several (note the sever in several) people were embarrassed because she started crying, which was never an appropriate response. I didn't berate. Didn't castigate. 

I was a gentleman. She started bawling. And some of the women in our party couldn't deal with that, simply because she was a poor, neglected server. 

Awwww...

And I didn't even know she was crying, frankly, or I wouldn't have said ####.  

 
I should say I've worked as a busboy before and know crappy customers. This was not that. This was ####ty service, plain and simple. And that some in my party couldn't recognize that for what it was is a sad and ####### pathetic state of affairs.

eta* And I curse not because I'm vociferous about it, but because I'm so upset about it, it ruined my night, too. It shouldn't have had to come to that. It was utterly ridiculous. And no curse words were thrown around then, I assure you.  

 
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Was the restaurant busy? What time were you there?

Also, it’s holiday time. I would imagine that some regular staff are away on vacation too. Current staff is probably the B or C team. 

 
Tom Skerritt said:
Was the restaurant busy? What time were you there?

Also, it’s holiday time. I would imagine that some regular staff are away on vacation too. Current staff is probably the B or C team. 
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Yeah, it wasn't busy. The front light wasn't lit and we walked in and asked if it was open. Our server said "NO," and then countered "yes" they were open. Inauspicious, perhaps.  

Bolded is fair. Didn't think of that. It could have been B or C team. It sure seemed like it.  

Again, I'm not complaining like a wretch at a five-star. I just wanted hot food and food at all.  

 
Seems like you handled it fine. I have no idea why the moms would be giving you the guilt trip - you're the person who didn't get their food, they should have been taking up for you, not the other way around. Doesn't seem like you were overplaying a martyr hand or anything. I guess the only thing I might have done differently is have the manager start sending me free drinks.

 
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rockaction said:
Yeah, it wasn't busy. The front light wasn't lit and we walked in and asked if it was open. Our server said "NO," and then countered "yes" they were open. Inauspicious, perhaps.  

Bolded is fair. Didn't think of that. It could have been B or C team. It sure seemed like it.  

Again, I'm not complaining like a wretch at a five-star. I just wanted hot food and food at all.  
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I get it. I was a waiter for most of my 20’s. I can deal with a lot of crappiness at restaurants. But when it’s bad, it’s really bad, and I’ve got no problem calling it out  

And I hate going out to eat. I avoid it whenever possible. Especially around holiday time. 

 
Gr00vus said:
Seems like you handled it fine. I have no idea why the moms would be giving you the guilt trip - you're the person who didn't get their food, they should have been taking up for you, not the other way around. Doesn't seem like you were overplaying a martyr hand or anything. I guess the only thing I might have done differently is have the manager start sending me free drinks.
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Yeah, I think you're right. I guess free drinks wasn't really an option at a family dinner and all, which says something. I have no idea about the guilt trip. Seems like a family malfunction as much as a restaurant one. I think we have work to do on that front.  

 
Tom Skerritt said:
I get it. I was a waiter for most of my 20’s. I can deal with a lot of crappiness at restaurants. But when it’s bad, it’s really bad, and I’ve got no problem calling it out  

And I hate going out to eat. I avoid it whenever possible. Especially around holiday time. 
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Yeah, I see this in the bolded. I just didn't want any problems and she apparently started crying, which I don't want. Ever. And I thought I was being nice but maybe I need to check the nice-o-meter into the shop for a go 'round. I just...I've been there. It's hard, but this was stupid bad. She wasn't listening, greeted us with a "No," all that stuff that turns you off. So when you mess up the order, it gets worse.  

I've been a busboy, had a girlfriend in my twenties that bussed at a country club in the Hamptons. It's demanding. Tonight was just a joke.  

 
rockaction said:
 I have no idea about the guilt trip. Seems like a family malfunction as much as a restaurant one. I think we have work to do on that front.  
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This was my first thought upon reading your OP - that there's some baggage/history there for your folks' reactions. That maybe some of them are extremely averse to any type of conflict, maybe there was another occasion where someone DID go ape #### and that informed their reaction this time, etc......

The restaurant screwed up royally. Sounds like you handled it reasonably well. The only thing I may have done differently is going to the manager as soon as I could discern the server was in over her head - not at the table, but somewhere else.

 
Rock, rock?  Tough night to go out imo.  At least you didn’t go to the OG. Hoping your meal today and family interaction goes a lot better.  

 
Uruk-Hai said:
This was my first thought upon reading your OP - that there's some baggage/history there for your folks' reactions. That maybe some of them are extremely averse to any type of conflict, maybe there was another occasion where someone DID go ape #### and that informed their reaction this time, etc......

The restaurant screwed up royally. Sounds like you handled it reasonably well. The only thing I may have done differently is going to the manager as soon as I could discern the server was in over her head - not at the table, but somewhere else.
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I think you're right Uruk. I think maybe there's some stuff we all need to work on that hasn't gone well. We've had conflict, though not of the abusive sort. I don't see how this situation wasn't anything but cut-and-dried and that past situations, completely unrelated to servers have affected it. Thanks.  

 
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I imagine the waitress was having other issues and this just piled in top.  She probably thought she would get the blame from the manager.  Who knows, maybe she has a sick cripple Tiny Tim at home who she will not be able to buy a Christmas present for.    All you had to do was to pretend to enjoy your cold tasteless lamb shank.  

 
jon_mx said:
I imagine the waitress was having other issues and this just piled in top.  She probably thought she would get the blame from the manager.  Who knows, maybe she has a sick cripple Tiny Tim at home who she will not be able to buy a Christmas present for.    All you had to do was to pretend to enjoy your cold tasteless lamb shank.  
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I get that. It was probably larger than my order. But there was no cold, tasteless shank. They completely offed my dinner into the ether, jon. They were serving me shrimp salad instead as a recourse. 

It was bad.  

First World Problems.  

 
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Shrimp salad they tried to bring from another table. It was pathetic. Or did they just mess up my order? I wouldn't know because they delivered the other table's orders to ours.  

 
jon_mx said:
It sounds like this girl needs to find a new profession.  
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I guess. I can't see three feet in front of me and don't have my glasses on. If I see she's crying, I stop. Pronto. 

But that wasn't the case in a low-lit, low-budget dinner, I guess. Try some lights, folks, I feel bad!

 
No doubt it makes everyone uncomfortable when you aren't eating while they are.  It was the wrong move.  You should have switched your order to something that could be prepared quickly.

 
Juxtatarot said:
No doubt it makes everyone uncomfortable when you aren't eating while they are.  It was the wrong move.  You should have switched your order to something that could be prepared quickly.
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Yeah, fair enough. That's what I'm looking for. The pro move. Should have ordered a quick pasta. Thanks. That would have been best, I think.  Great call, Juxtatarot.   

 
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Really good call. Problem solved, I think. I just didn't think of it. I'm human.  

 
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rockaction said:
Really good call. Problem solved, I think. I just didn't think of it. I'm human.  
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Nah.  You wanted what you wanted.  And when you didn't get it, you didn't want to pay for it. You shouldn't have to settle for something that you didn't want.  Sure, ordering something else is/was an option, but your choice to not accept that as a solution was perfectly fine.  You didn't do anything wrong.

Eat extra turkey and stuffing today.  Mmmm....stuffing.

 
ClownCausedChaos2 said:
Nah.  You wanted what you wanted.  And when you didn't get it, you didn't want to pay for it. You shouldn't have to settle for something that you didn't want.  Sure, ordering something else is/was an option, but your choice to not accept that as a solution was perfectly fine.  You didn't do anything wrong.

Eat extra turkey and stuffing today.  Mmmm....stuffing.
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Stuffing is my favorite. Yeah, stuffing.  

 
rockaction said:
I never said that. I only said one interpretation was that people were uncomfortable. I know it's only one side of the story, but I wasn't on tilt until several (note the sever in several) people were embarrassed because she started crying, which was never an appropriate response. I didn't berate. Didn't castigate. 

I was a gentleman. She started bawling. And some of the women in our party couldn't deal with that, simply because she was a poor, neglected server. 

Awwww...

And I didn't even know she was crying, frankly, or I wouldn't have said ####.  
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Maybe she's crying because you never acknowledged you're the father of Jr child.

 
I would have found the manager and had a side bar. "Look, this experience is sucking, but let's try and salvage it. Get me something to eat now, with the rest of my family and we'll just blow off all this other incompetent ####. 

 
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