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Apologies - A Good Example (1 Viewer)

Joe Bryant

Joe Bryant

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I see lots of people apologize poorly it seems. 

Good example here of how to do one right.

1. She was sincere. Or at least seemed sincere. 
2. She owned it. No "sorry if YOU were offended" putting blame to the listener. 
3. She was specific. No vagueness.
4. She made a connection - tweeting is one thing. She wanted to look the viewer in the eye. That likely means less than it used to for some people, but it's important. 
5. She didn't belabor it. 

Home run. Now the trick of course is we all only have a few of these to use up on a topic. If she said something just as bad next week, apologies lose their power. People aren't stupid. But this was a good example of how to try and right a mistake. 

 
I agree, she handled the apology well.

I particularly dislike when an apology includes "I apologize to anyone who was offended..."

When I see/hear that, I immediately begin to discount the sincerity and understanding behind the apology.

 
Joe Bryant said:
I see lots of people apologize poorly it seems. 

Good example here of how to do one right.

1. She was sincere. Or at least seemed sincere. 
2. She owned it. No "sorry if YOU were offended" putting blame to the listener. 
3. She was specific. No vagueness.
4. She made a connection - tweeting is one thing. She wanted to look the viewer in the eye. That likely means less than it used to for some people, but it's important. 
5. She didn't belabor it. 

Home run. Now the trick of course is we all only have a few of these to use up on a topic. If she said something just as bad next week, apologies lose their power. People aren't stupid. But this was a good example of how to try and right a mistake. 
Click to expand...
While i agree that the direct apology is a good thing, that will not change the mind that makes the comment as an off the cuff choice of words. My point being that if that is her go to insult then her apology rings as insincere and hollow to me. Her true thoughts are the ones that come out unscripted and not read off of a teleprompter after being vetted by the legal dept.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
The Big Guy said:
While i agree that the direct apology is a good thing, that will not change the mind that makes the comment as an off the cuff choice of words. My point being that if that is her go to insult then her apology rings as insincere and hollow to me. Her true thoughts are the ones that come out unscripted and not read off of a teleprompter after being vetted by the legal dept.
Click to expand...
Totally agree 

 
The Big Guy said:
While i agree that the direct apology is a good thing, that will not change the mind that makes the comment as an off the cuff choice of words. My point being that if that is her go to insult then her apology rings as insincere and hollow to me. Her true thoughts are the ones that come out unscripted and not read off of a teleprompter after being vetted by the legal dept.
Click to expand...
I agree that what she originally said was likely a window into her thinking - although we all occasionally say things that we would hate to have taken as our true core beliefs/personality.

One thing missing from her apology is that she is going to voluntarily change her behavior and modify her thinking that a gay comparison can be equated to something negative.

Without her acknowledging the need for a personal change and announcing it, the apology does sound more like a checklist item than a sincere recognition and acceptance of an error.

 
It flowed so naturally that you know it was not the first time she has used that term. Some locker room talk that was caught live on air.

Good apology?  Yes  Sincere? Only Mika knows that, but that is what people who are on the air have to do. So many people apologize now that who knows what is sincere or not.

 
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Joe Bryant said:
I see lots of people apologize poorly it seems.
Click to expand...
(Looking right in your eyes) On behalf of those people you've seen apologize poorly, I'm sorry.

1. Nipsey was sincere. Or at least he seemed sincere. CHECK
2. He owned it. No "sorry if YOU were offended" putting blame to the listener. CHECK
3. He was specific. No vagueness. CHECK
4. He made a connection - tweeting is one thing. He wanted to look the viewer in the eye. CHECK
5. He didn't belabor it. CHECK
Click to expand...

 
dgreen said:
What's the point of apologies? When should someone apologize?
Click to expand...
Great question. I agree that when she said what she said that her intention was to not hurt the lgbtq community and her sole intention was to hurt Pompeo alone. So I do believe her apology from the aspect that she did not intend to throw a wide insult and only meant to throw a very specific one.

So when does someone apologize? Another good question. 

 
I have never heard the term butt-boy before this news item broke.  I can understand where certain segments of our society might view this as a negative comparison between a sexual practice and a description of a persons behavior toward another person.  Maybe she meant it as a compliment because she greatly admires the current administration and the term butt-boy to her is a positive descriptor. 

 
"Totally agree with you -SUPER BAD choice of words .. I should have said “water boy”... like for football teams or something like that.."

I personally won't forgive her until she apologizes to water boys everywhere. 

 
Mr. Know-It-All said:
I have never heard the term butt-boy before this news item broke.  I can understand where certain segments of our society might view this as a negative comparison between a sexual practice and a description of a persons behavior toward another person.  Maybe she meant it as a compliment because she greatly admires the current administration and the term butt-boy to her is a positive descriptor. 
Click to expand...
Been around a long time..now you are woke.

 
The Big Guy said:
While i agree that the direct apology is a good thing, that will not change the mind that makes the comment as an off the cuff choice of words. My point being that if that is her go to insult then her apology rings as insincere and hollow to me. Her true thoughts are the ones that come out unscripted and not read off of a teleprompter after being vetted by the legal dept.
Click to expand...
I guess there no point in a sincere apology since my first reaction was to laugh at the comment.  

jhib said:
I personally won't forgive her until she apologizes to water boys everywhere. 
Click to expand...
The consensus water boy thoughts.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
And the Oscar Committee's job just gets harder with yet another candidate scratched off the list...

 
Joe Bryant said:
I see lots of people apologize poorly it seems. 

Good example here of how to do one right.

1. She was sincere. Or at least seemed sincere. 
2. She owned it. No "sorry if YOU were offended" putting blame to the listener. 
3. She was specific. No vagueness.
4. She made a connection - tweeting is one thing. She wanted to look the viewer in the eye. That likely means less than it used to for some people, but it's important. 
5. She didn't belabor it. 

Home run. Now the trick of course is we all only have a few of these to use up on a topic. If she said something just as bad next week, apologies lose their power. People aren't stupid. But this was a good example of how to try and right a mistake. 
Click to expand...
I just watched it again, one thing I noticed is that Mika did not apologize to the person she said it to though. So that says she was only concerned about the backlash from the gay community that was blowing up Twitter.

Also should Mika be given time off for her use of the slur?

 
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