Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums
randall146

randall's ALS diary

Recommended Posts

Update time. I’m writing from a Duke student center of some kind while my 16 year old is on an admissions tour. Later today we visit Wake, and tomorrow UNC. Who knows if he’ll apply or get into any of them, but we thought a couple extra days tacked onto our OBX vacation made sense. It’s a good way to start looking at colleges and a great way to spend some time with him. 

Durham has REALLY changed since I was here 20+ years ago. Tons of new commerce and construction. It’s really beautiful. We went to a Liverpool bar in Raleigh for yesterday’s match, and a Durham Bulls game last night. 

Our week in Duck was mixed. It was great for the kids, but bittersweet for me. There’s just a lot I can’t do now. My days of walking are pretty much done, but I haven’t moved to a full wheelchair. I’m using an electric scooter chair, which is great in that it conserves a lot of energy, but nothing in my world is handicapped friendly. The house we were at wasn’t, so I could use the chair on the main(2nd floor), but had to really think about going anywhere else.

I couldn’t go on the beach. I had to really struggle to get to the sun deck where we always have our coffee in the morning. I couldn’t really participate in our annual cornhole tournament (I can throw the bag around 10 feet, and not at all accurately).

And I was constantly battling between asking for help and just not participating. I have great friends and they’d do anything for me, but, for example, I don’t WANT them to have to carry me up and down steps. I’m not ready to be that needy. But, truthfully, I am that needy. 

Highlights of the week included fishing (not catching) off Jennette’s Pier, lots of cards and laughs, and some outstanding bbq in Chesapeake VA on our way to a Norfolk Tides game. 

I also told you guys about my spring training trip with my middle son. It was just great all around. We saw some games, had some good meals, saw some nature, and went to the beach. 

I was still walking at that point so we could do a little more. Unfortunately my legs had already lost my ability to swim. I borrowed a life vest from a ski-doo rental place and was able to spend some time floating in the water, which was actually really nice. I needed help getting to and into the water. My son was clearly a bit embarrassed to support my walking initially, but he got over it and eventually he relaxed and we had some fun. 

This whole thing has been a tough learning experience for them. They’re being stretched but becoming better stronger people. 

That’s all for now. I’ll post some work and health updates sometime soon. 

Edited by randall146
  • Like 15
  • Love 32

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Good to hear from you Randall.  I spent Easter with my niece's husband who has ALS.  He's really lost his mobility quickly.  Five months from first symptoms to being in a wheelchair and unable to lift his arm high enough to feed himself. He got results back from the genetic tests and he was positive for one of the markers.  

Stay strong Randall.  Lots of support for you here if you need some.

 

  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey Randall, 

Sorry for all you're going through, its just not fair GB.  My father in law was just diagnosed with ALS about a year ago.  Day to day he's using a rolling walker with a seat but can't get very far with it anymore, the electric scooter option sounds interesting.  Last summer we did a family trip to a condo in OCMD because the high rise had an elevator but he had trouble getting out onto the beach with us and the kids and only made it out once with help.  Last month we took another family trip with him to Siesta Key, FL near Sarasota.  One of the reasons was we could rent a house with its own elevator and pool.  When we got down to the beach we found the coolest thing though, there was a company renting basically motorized chairs with treads to get around on the beach...  Tracked Mobility   I don't know if its an option in many other places but it was a big help on the beach.

 

  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you for the update Randall.  Sounds like you're creating some awesome memories.  Sending my love your way brother.

  • Love 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks for the update randall. Each update to the thread shares your story with people who may have missed it before.

Looks like the GoFundMe page achieved its initial fundraising goal, but I assume donations are still needed to help this wonderful family deal with their new unanticipated expenses and enjoy their lives together. Here it is again, for anyone else who may have missed it earlier.

  • Thanks 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We’re all with you Randall. Please continue to keep us updated and share your journey. It’s inspiring.

All the very best to you and your family. 

O

  • Like 2
  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Just back here after a few months and read back from January. Sorry you have more symptoms emerging, but so impressed with how you are handling, planning.preparing. Continue to enjoy life and those awesome kids.

  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 3/6/2019 at 10:21 AM, randall146 said:

I've been meaning to give an update and have some time, so here goes.

First, another grateful thanks to everybody here for being so supportive with words and $.  One of the most amazing things about this illness is it's opened my eyes to the goodness and generosity of my various communities - internet, defense bar, law enforcement, people I grew up with, people in my town.  It's been overwhelming, sometimes literally.

A lot has changed but a lot is still the same since my last update.  Physically, I've continued to deteriorate slowly.  I now need a cane to walk anywhere, and sometimes that's not enough.  I'm thinking of moving to a "Rollator" which is a four-wheeled walker that also has a seat when you need one.  Mentally I really don't want to move to that since in my mind those are strictly for old ladies.  But it seems inevitable.  I also walk MUCH more slowly.  I now use flexible orthodic braces too - they have a plastic sole that goes under the foam insert in my shoes, and then firm plastic bars that run up my ankle and strap around my calves.  I've only had them for a few days but they keep me more stable, keep my toes lifted so I don't trip as much, and even have a little bit of bounce to them so I use less energy walking.  The downside of the braces is it takes even longer and is more tiring to get dressed in the morning.  In fact, most things take longer.

The other physical difference is I feel my arms and hands weakening.  I drop things frequently.  Typing is becoming more difficult.  I've made a few short attempts at using voice recognition software but haven't given it enough time yet, so I'm not sure how that'll work for me.  I also plan on doing voice-recording soon so that my digital voice is still available when/if my real voice goes.

One awful thing I've been having to come to grips with is that certain things are just gone from my life.  My hobbies and favorite pass-times are watching my kids sports, playing sports, working on my aquarium, playing guitar/drums, singing, hiking, and body surfing. Other than watching my kids' sports, I will never be able to do any of those the same way again.  I can't hike.  My legs won't kick in water and I won't be able to stand in waves, so I can't body surf.  I can't hold chords or move my hands or feet quickly, so playing instruments is becoming more difficult.  My voice can't reach or hold notes that used to be no problem.  I can't carry water around to clean my aquarium the way I'd like.

Most of these things don't impact my daily activities.  On a moment to moment basis I can accept all of them and not be upset.  It is what it is.

But sometimes when I have time to reflect it creeps in that so many of the activities that make life great are just gone.  The thought that I'll never run again is simple, but sad and deep.  It sucks.

On a positive note I can say that my wife and kids continue to be amazing.  I spent a lot of this morning thinking about my 15 year old (16 on Saturday) and looking at pictures of the two of us.  I got myself pretty upset and ended up texting him a bunch of the pictures.  From class he texted back "best 1-2 combination ever."  I wrote back that I was thinking about him and how much I loved him and how proud I was.  So then he writes back "Love you too dad, many more of those pictures to be taken."  :crying:

Last week I had a bad fall in the kitchen when my dog walked under my feet.  I fell hard, hit my back on a door frame, and had the wind knocked out of me.  My 9 year old saw and was pretty upset.  As I lay there before getting up my 15 year old laid down next to me and calmly started just joking around, making both me and the 9 year old feel instantly better.  He's never seen me or my wife do anything like that - it's just instinctual, which is amazing.

I think that'll be all for now

-randall

Did you ever get around to recording your voice?  If not, please do ASAP!

https://twitter.com/SteveGleason/status/1123419798900281344

Recently diagnosed with ALS, and planning to live? I would urge you to record your voice in as high quality of a situation as possible. @TeamGleason can help from that point. It is one of my best decisions & I'm seeing too many people unnecessarily using generic voices.

  • Like 3
  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, Tiger Fan said:

Did you ever get around to recording your voice?  If not, please do ASAP!

https://twitter.com/SteveGleason/status/1123419798900281344

Recently diagnosed with ALS, and planning to live? I would urge you to record your voice in as high quality of a situation as possible. @TeamGleason can help from that point. It is one of my best decisions & I'm seeing too many people unnecessarily using generic voices.

That’s on my agenda for next week - thanks!

  • Like 6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 5/2/2019 at 9:13 AM, randall146 said:

That’s on my agenda for next week - thanks!

awesome!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 Not around here much anymore so just seeing this. Thoughts and prayers. Always enjoyed your thoughts in the ACC basketball threads. You were one of the classy, rational Duke fans. Certainly more classy and rational than I was as a UNC fan. 

Good luck and keep fighting and posting. I think I saw the Go Fund Me link above so I’ll visit that. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Right now I'm pulling for Brighton to stage a comeback in the second half against Manchester City.

Do it for Randall, ya seagulls!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 hours ago, Judge Smails said:

Randall, are you sharing your journey on patientslikeme?

I joined, but I don’t love the format. I prefer checking in here occasionally!

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 5/3/2019 at 10:24 AM, Tiger Fan said:

awesome!

Slight delay (on my part), but Team Gleason approved funding for my voice recording today. I’ll start recording sometime this week!

  • Like 4
  • Love 12

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 5/12/2019 at 10:51 AM, The Z Machine said:

Right now I'm pulling for Brighton to stage a comeback in the second half against Manchester City.

Do it for Randall, ya seagulls!

Thanks Z - I feel no disappointment in a 97 point runner-up season. Liverpool appears well positioned for the next few years, and the CL final. 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 5/4/2019 at 7:13 AM, ConstruxBoy said:

 Not around here much anymore so just seeing this. Thoughts and prayers. Always enjoyed your thoughts in the ACC basketball threads. You were one of the classy, rational Duke fans. Certainly more classy and rational than I was as a UNC fan. 

Good luck and keep fighting and posting. I think I saw the Go Fund Me link above so I’ll visit that. 

Thanks Contrux - there were only 2 unbearable posters in those threads, and neither was a heels fan. Everything else was shared fandom of great rivalries. 

I don’t know if you read further up, but I recently took my 16 year old on college tours of Duke, UNC, and Wake. He didn’t care for Duke or UNC, but loved Wake. 

He did spend some of my money on UNC gear though :shudder:

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks for the updates Randall- crazy how much I think about a random good dude from the infowebz... :oldunsure:... but I do- and continue to think/wish all the best for you and your family. and the hot wife. :oldunsure:

just occurred to me- with the voice recordings... are there adjustments/apps for working a keyboard too? 

  • Thanks 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
23 minutes ago, El Floppo said:

Thanks for the updates Randall- crazy how much I think about a random good dude from the infowebz... :oldunsure:... but I do- and continue to think/wish all the best for you and your family. and the hot wife. :oldunsure:

just occurred to me- with the voice recordings... are there adjustments/apps for working a keyboard too? 

I appreciate the thoughts.

I’ve been trying to use a voice command/dictation program that comes as part of Windows 10 but i haven’t found it to be very user friendly yet. I can dictate emails and documents alright, but operating voice commands is tough. All the pros are recommending Dragon software so I may ask my office to pay for that if I can’t figure out the Windows one. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, randall146 said:

Slight delay (on my part), but Team Gleason approved funding for my voice recording today. I’ll start recording sometime this week!

That's awesome Buddy. We're with you.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
19 hours ago, randall146 said:

Thanks Z - I feel no disappointment in a 97 point runner-up season. Liverpool appears well positioned for the next few years, and the CL final. 

I'll be pulling for the red side in Madrid (which is typical for me).

  • Laughing 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
21 hours ago, randall146 said:

Slight delay (on my part), but Team Gleason approved funding for my voice recording today. I’ll start recording sometime this week!

Excellent!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

randall i find your strength both personally and for your family completely inspiring i can only hope to someday have that type of grit 

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 5/13/2019 at 5:24 PM, randall146 said:

Thanks Contrux - there were only 2 unbearable posters in those threads, and neither was a heels fan. Everything else was shared fandom of great rivalries. 

I don’t know if you read further up, but I recently took my 16 year old on college tours of Duke, UNC, and Wake. He didn’t care for Duke or UNC, but loved Wake. 

He did spend some of my money on UNC gear though :shudder:

Everybody likes the swag, my friend. :D

Take care.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

And keep fighting, GB.

My wife and I went to a charity event tonight for pediatric cancer for a foundation in Charlotte started by a couple in our neighborhood that lost their 7 year old daughter to cancer. And of course it was very moving and sad, but something the mother said tonight really resonated with me. She said that although they eventually lost their daughter, the fight their little girl showed in her struggle inspires people to continue to give and care and research these terrible diseases. That inspiration lives on long after she is gone. Don't underestimate the fight and strength and humanity you show in your struggle. It will live on forever.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Getting dressed for my first court day in a wheelchair (actually an electric Scooter-type chair).  Also my first day driving the chair around the financial/court district in Providence. 

I’ve been dreading people I know professionally seeing me in the chair. I fear they’ll feel sorry for me, but also think less of me. After 20 years I’m something of a senior member/leader of the criminal defense world (in my tiny little pond) but I should only be halfway through my career. I think people are naturally going to see me as a has-been when they see me in a chair, needing extra help, extra time, etc. Everyone has heard that I’m sick, but this will be a lot of people’s first time really seeing/getting it.

However, today’s an important day to go, because it’s the day of our re-entry court program, which provides extra services and supervision to defendants re-entering society after long jail sentences. These are guys facing a ton of hurdles getting back to “normal” life (addiction, housing, employment, drivers license, old court fines, family court issues) and I think it would benefit them to see me persevering through my health issues. 

So that motivation is helping me overcome my fear of people seeing me out there disabled. Once I get through that first day, I figure I’ll regain my confidence and be ok with it. 

Also, it’s my job and I need the money. 

  • Like 13
  • Love 14

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
26 minutes ago, randall146 said:

Getting dressed for my first court day in a wheelchair (actually an electric Scooter-type chair).  Also my first day driving the chair around the financial/court district in Providence. 

I’ve been dreading people I know professionally seeing me in the chair. I fear they’ll feel sorry for me, but also think less of me. After 20 years I’m something of a senior member/leader of the criminal defense world (in my tiny little pond) but I should only be halfway through my career. I think people are naturally going to see me as a has-been when they see me in a chair, needing extra help, extra time, etc. Everyone has heard that I’m sick, but this will be a lot of people’s first time really seeing/getting it.

However, today’s an important day to go, because it’s the day of our re-entry court program, which provides extra services and supervision to defendants re-entering society after long jail sentences. These are guys facing a ton of hurdles getting back to “normal” life (addiction, housing, employment, drivers license, old court fines, family court issues) and I think it would benefit them to see me persevering through my health issues. 

So that motivation is helping me overcome my fear of people seeing me out there disabled. Once I get through that first day, I figure I’ll regain my confidence and be ok with it. 

Also, it’s my job and I need the money. 

You go Buddy. 

One thing I've learned is heart trumps talent. Especially physical talent. Or ability. And that holds true for the entire spectrum of physical ability.

We've all seen it where the scrappy guy with less physical ability outworks and out hustles the more physically talented guy. I'm not trying to paint a happy face on this. But I want you to know my guess is it'll be human nature (and I'm pretty good at predicting human nature) that while you think these folks may be seeing you as "less than", the reality is they're going to be seeing you as badass. You're showing them you're fighting. You're showing them you're overcoming.

And for the defendents getting back to society who very likely feel the deck is stacked against them and it's "not fair", what an incredible image for them to see in you. Wow.

You may not even realize it but you're delivering a huge message just being there and doing your job. You're showing them and living out an example of your words. Your message is powerful. Rock on Buddy.

 

  • Like 3
  • Love 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

For sure people are looking at you for inspiration. We do here let alone people you know irl. You are staying strong and not giving up your life.

I follow Selma Blair on Instagram, her struggles with ms. She sees beauty in life and embraces it. She has a 10 year old son. She's a great person to follow on Instagram. Her words are poetic and uplifting. Xxx

  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 hours ago, Joe Bryant said:

You go Buddy. 

One thing I've learned is heart trumps talent. Especially physical talent. Or ability. And that holds true for the entire spectrum of physical ability.

We've all seen it where the scrappy guy with less physical ability outworks and out hustles the more physically talented guy. I'm not trying to paint a happy face on this. But I want you to know my guess is it'll be human nature (and I'm pretty good at predicting human nature) that while you think these folks may be seeing you as "less than", the reality is they're going to be seeing you as badass. You're showing them you're fighting. You're showing them you're overcoming.

And for the defendents getting back to society who very likely feel the deck is stacked against them and it's "not fair", what an incredible image for them to see in you. Wow.

You may not even realize it but you're delivering a huge message just being there and doing your job. You're showing them and living out an example of your words. Your message is powerful. Rock on Buddy.

 

I don't think i can express this anymore eloquently than Joe. I've been reading this thread since the beginning and am impressed with your grace and humanity and courage and strength.

i'll share something with you that I haven't been wanting to share on the internet, because I hope maybe it can be as inspirational to you as it was to me and so many others. My wife just passed yesterday, after a 14 year battle against breast cancer. The last few years, the cancer had spread to her brain. She fought like a warrior. She never gave up, remained a devoted mother to our boys and was a constant inspiration to everyone around her, because she never played the victim.

I thought of you and your family and this thread often over the last few months. She lost her ability to walk without a walker. She stopped being able to drive. Eventually, she couldn't get around without a wheelchair. She had to have me help her onto the toilet. Towards the end, she couldn't even feed herself, and had to wear adult diapers. She had her moments with me when she broke down and got frustrated and angry- she wouldn't have been human without those times. But, she always maintained an otherworldly grace and strength, even in the face of the greatest indignities and the betrayal of her own body. She fought hard until it was time to rest.

I'm sharing this with you, specifically, because you are that inspirational to everyone here. You seem otherworldly and possessed of a grace and strength we can't even imagine in your courage. Clearly, there is a lot of fight left in you, brother. And you are definitely up for it. I offer my condolences to your family, and my gratitude that people like you are strong enough to share your story, because it reminds all of us of what it means to be human. Be gentle with yourself and those you love for your humanity and frustration and doubt and pain in the coming times. And continue to be strong and inspirational. My heartfelt prayers and love for you and yours. 

  • Love 10
  • Sad 9

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
10 minutes ago, ProstheticRGK said:

I don't think i can express this anymore eloquently than Joe. I've been reading this thread since the beginning and am impressed with your grace and humanity and courage and strength.

i'll share something with you that I haven't been wanting to share on the internet, because I hope maybe it can be as inspirational to you as it was to me and so many others. My wife just passed yesterday, after a 14 year battle against breast cancer. The last few years, the cancer had spread to her brain. She fought like a warrior. She never gave up, remained a devoted mother to our boys and was a constant inspiration to everyone around her, because she never played the victim.

I thought of you and your family and this thread often over the last few months. She lost her ability to walk without a walker. She stopped being able to drive. Eventually, she couldn't get around without a wheelchair. She had to have me help her onto the toilet. Towards the end, she couldn't even feed herself, and had to wear adult diapers. She had her moments with me when she broke down and got frustrated and angry- she wouldn't have been human without those times. But, she always maintained an otherworldly grace and strength, even in the face of the greatest indignities and the betrayal of her own body. She fought hard until it was time to rest.

I'm sharing this with you, specifically, because you are that inspirational to everyone here. You seem otherworldly and possessed of a grace and strength we can't even imagine in your courage. Clearly, there is a lot of fight left in you, brother. And you are definitely up for it. I offer my condolences to your family, and my gratitude that people like you are strong enough to share your story, because it reminds all of us of what it means to be human. Be gentle with yourself and those you love for your humanity and frustration and doubt and pain in the coming times. And continue to be strong and inspirational. My heartfelt prayers and love for you and yours. 

So sorry for your loss. May she rip. Xx

  • Love 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
16 minutes ago, ProstheticRGK said:

I don't think i can express this anymore eloquently than Joe. I've been reading this thread since the beginning and am impressed with your grace and humanity and courage and strength.

i'll share something with you that I haven't been wanting to share on the internet, because I hope maybe it can be as inspirational to you as it was to me and so many others. My wife just passed yesterday, after a 14 year battle against breast cancer. The last few years, the cancer had spread to her brain. She fought like a warrior. She never gave up, remained a devoted mother to our boys and was a constant inspiration to everyone around her, because she never played the victim.

I thought of you and your family and this thread often over the last few months. She lost her ability to walk without a walker. She stopped being able to drive. Eventually, she couldn't get around without a wheelchair. She had to have me help her onto the toilet. Towards the end, she couldn't even feed herself, and had to wear adult diapers. She had her moments with me when she broke down and got frustrated and angry- she wouldn't have been human without those times. But, she always maintained an otherworldly grace and strength, even in the face of the greatest indignities and the betrayal of her own body. She fought hard until it was time to rest.

I'm sharing this with you, specifically, because you are that inspirational to everyone here. You seem otherworldly and possessed of a grace and strength we can't even imagine in your courage. Clearly, there is a lot of fight left in you, brother. And you are definitely up for it. I offer my condolences to your family, and my gratitude that people like you are strong enough to share your story, because it reminds all of us of what it means to be human. Be gentle with yourself and those you love for your humanity and frustration and doubt and pain in the coming times. And continue to be strong and inspirational. My heartfelt prayers and love for you and yours. 

I'm sorry Buddy. Praying for you and yours. 

  • Like 1
  • Love 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@ProstheticRGK  I'm sorry for your loss, Pros.  Your wife sounds like she was an amazing person, and reading about her through your lens of love is inspiring. Everyone should hope to be remembered with such love and respect. I hope her being at peace now gives you and your loved ones peace.  ❤️

  • Love 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 hours ago, ProstheticRGK said:

I don't think i can express this anymore eloquently than Joe. I've been reading this thread since the beginning and am impressed with your grace and humanity and courage and strength.

i'll share something with you that I haven't been wanting to share on the internet, because I hope maybe it can be as inspirational to you as it was to me and so many others. My wife just passed yesterday, after a 14 year battle against breast cancer. The last few years, the cancer had spread to her brain. She fought like a warrior. She never gave up, remained a devoted mother to our boys and was a constant inspiration to everyone around her, because she never played the victim.

I thought of you and your family and this thread often over the last few months. She lost her ability to walk without a walker. She stopped being able to drive. Eventually, she couldn't get around without a wheelchair. She had to have me help her onto the toilet. Towards the end, she couldn't even feed herself, and had to wear adult diapers. She had her moments with me when she broke down and got frustrated and angry- she wouldn't have been human without those times. But, she always maintained an otherworldly grace and strength, even in the face of the greatest indignities and the betrayal of her own body. She fought hard until it was time to rest.

I'm sharing this with you, specifically, because you are that inspirational to everyone here. You seem otherworldly and possessed of a grace and strength we can't even imagine in your courage. Clearly, there is a lot of fight left in you, brother. And you are definitely up for it. I offer my condolences to your family, and my gratitude that people like you are strong enough to share your story, because it reminds all of us of what it means to be human. Be gentle with yourself and those you love for your humanity and frustration and doubt and pain in the coming times. And continue to be strong and inspirational. My heartfelt prayers and love for you and yours. 

My god - I’m so very sorry for your loss and all your family went through. Thank you for sharing it.

I’m sad for you and your boys but hearing all you went through also makes me feel stronger to go through my own similar experience.

And I take solace in the fact that your experience with your wife seems to have made your relationship that much stronger.

Illness is an awful thing but also an opportunity to forgive our faults and imperfections and just be human with one another. 

Anyhow, I don’t know what else to say other than I’m so sorry for your loss and thankful for your sharing it. 

  • Like 1
  • Love 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, randall146 said:

My god - I’m so very sorry for your loss and all your family went through. Thank you for sharing it.

I’m sad for you and your boys but hearing all you went through also makes me feel stronger to go through my own similar experience.

And I take solace in the fact that your experience with your wife seems to have made your relationship that much stronger.

Illness is an awful thing but also an opportunity to forgive our faults and imperfections and just be human with one another. 

Anyhow, I don’t know what else to say other than I’m so sorry for your loss and thankful for your sharing it. 

Thanks, randall. You and she are really similar in demeanor and outlook. I know it's just doing what needs to be done out of necessity, but that, to me, is real strength. So many people wilt and shrink in the face of real adversity. I'll tell you what I told her every day: "If I were in your shoes, I'd be an #######. A whiny, petulant #######. All the time. You manage to only be an ####### about 25% of the time. That makes you better than 99% of the population. And if you weren't an ####### at least 25% of the time, I'd be worried that you weren't human."

Seriously, my best to you and yours.

  • Like 1
  • Love 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
15 hours ago, ProstheticRGK said:

I don't think i can express this anymore eloquently than Joe. I've been reading this thread since the beginning and am impressed with your grace and humanity and courage and strength.

i'll share something with you that I haven't been wanting to share on the internet, because I hope maybe it can be as inspirational to you as it was to me and so many others. My wife just passed yesterday, after a 14 year battle against breast cancer. The last few years, the cancer had spread to her brain. She fought like a warrior. She never gave up, remained a devoted mother to our boys and was a constant inspiration to everyone around her, because she never played the victim.

I thought of you and your family and this thread often over the last few months. She lost her ability to walk without a walker. She stopped being able to drive. Eventually, she couldn't get around without a wheelchair. She had to have me help her onto the toilet. Towards the end, she couldn't even feed herself, and had to wear adult diapers. She had her moments with me when she broke down and got frustrated and angry- she wouldn't have been human without those times. But, she always maintained an otherworldly grace and strength, even in the face of the greatest indignities and the betrayal of her own body. She fought hard until it was time to rest.

I'm sharing this with you, specifically, because you are that inspirational to everyone here. You seem otherworldly and possessed of a grace and strength we can't even imagine in your courage. Clearly, there is a lot of fight left in you, brother. And you are definitely up for it. I offer my condolences to your family, and my gratitude that people like you are strong enough to share your story, because it reminds all of us of what it means to be human. Be gentle with yourself and those you love for your humanity and frustration and doubt and pain in the coming times. And continue to be strong and inspirational. My heartfelt prayers and love for you and yours. 

She and Randall are inspirations like no other....so sorry for you loss buddy. Hang in there. 

  • Love 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.