What's new
Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums

Welcome to Our Forums. Once you've registered and logged in, you're primed to talk football, among other topics, with the sharpest and most experienced fantasy players on the internet.

I'm officially an adult now (1 Viewer)

Jayrod

Footballguy
Made my first pot of coffee at the office this morning.  I turned 41 a month ago. 

I used to never drink coffee, but found it was a free source of caffeine at the office and started drinking it about 2 years ago.  Today, I made my first pot at the office.  According to the coffee snobs, I did a good job.  I believe that checks off all of the boxes and I'm now a grown ### man:

  1. Full time job - check
  2. Wife, kids, dog, cat - check
  3. Mortgage - check
  4. Self perform minor auto & house repairs - check
  5. Injured myself playing recreational sports - check
  6. Caught myself leering at women young enough to be my daughter - check
  7. Complained about taxes - check
  8. Don't understand "kids these days" - check
  9. Referred to "the good ole' days" in casual conversation - check
  10. Made a pot of coffee - check
Anything I'm missing?

 
My boy, you're ready for proctocams & yelling at the TV - you've made it!
Oh, I've done the second thing (my wife was none to pleased about my rant last night on why the refs wouldn't sack up and give Draymond Green a technical).

Now I'm willing to learn about proctocams.

 
Oh, I've done the second thing (my wife was none to pleased about my rant last night on why the refs wouldn't sack up and give Draymond Green a technical).

Now I'm willing to learn about proctocams.
There's time for that, believe me.

You're geographically lucky that you live in a part of the country where such regional requirements as "dispose of a hooker's body" and "swing a bat at something other than a ball" do not apply (i checked w the board and you are just far N enough to not be required to "harass a swarthy person"). So it's just grandchildren, enema bags and the cold embrace of death from here on...

 
I see being a man has given you the confidence to start a topic or 2.  Some day, I will be a man, but I still won't make coffee.

 
I was in a Fantasy Football League from 2000 till 2016. At our draft in the first years, we would take breaks and talk about partying and chicks. The last year I was in it, when we took breaks we talked about landscaping and our 401K's. Getting old sucks. 

 
Made my first pot of coffee at the office this morning.  I turned 41 a month ago. 

I used to never drink coffee, but found it was a free source of caffeine at the office and started drinking it about 2 years ago.  Today, I made my first pot at the office.  According to the coffee snobs, I did a good job.  
I've made plenty of pots of coffee but was never much of a drinker until recently.  I like the mini-buzz, especially at the office.

 
You need to injure yourself while doing a mundane task.. like sleeping;

Have you told the kids lately  who don't like a rule or a decision: " The reason is because I said so, my house, my rules and when you are an adult you can make the same decision" just because either A) you made a bad parenting decision - too strict likely but can't go back now or B) you have your reasons but do not want to explain them

 
You need to injure yourself while doing a mundane task.. like sleeping;

Have you told the kids lately  who don't like a rule or a decision: " The reason is because I said so, my house, my rules and when you are an adult you can make the same decision" just because either A) you made a bad parenting decision - too strict likely but can't go back now or B) you have your reasons but do not want to explain them
A few years ago I had a pretty serious back injury from just sitting in my chair wrong for months at a time.

And yes I have said that to my son. Usually because of option B.

 
Made my first pot of coffee at the office this morning.  I turned 41 a month ago. 

I used to never drink coffee, but found it was a free source of caffeine at the office and started drinking it about 2 years ago.  Today, I made my first pot at the office.  According to the coffee snobs, I did a good job.  I believe that checks off all of the boxes and I'm now a grown ### man:

  1. Full time job - check
  2. Wife, kids, dog, cat - check
  3. Mortgage - check
  4. Self perform minor auto & house repairs - check
  5. Injured myself playing recreational sports - check
  6. Caught myself leering at women young enough to be my daughter - check
  7. Complained about taxes - check
  8. Don't understand "kids these days" - check
  9. Referred to "the good ole' days" in casual conversation - check
  10. Made a pot of coffee - check
Anything I'm missing?
If making Keurig cups counts as a pot of coffee, I'm an adult too based on this.  Thanks for making me feel old, like my knees don't do that already.  Which reminds me, did I ever tell you the story about how I hurt my knee?  It happened way back when....

 
By the way, when making pot of coffee, whenever you think you have the right amount of grounds, add an extra 1/2 scoop.  Most people make coffee pot coffee too weak and it's pretty unlikely that you'll make it too strong.

 
Welcome! I recently accepted adulthood when I realized I have no idea what the allure of Fortnite is and will never make even a slight effort to find out.

Also, "Lil Uzi Vert."  What the hell is that all about? Even the name makes no sense. I'm done.

 
Welcome! I recently accepted adulthood when I realized I have no idea what the allure of Fortnite is and will never make even a slight effort to find out.
The local arcade where i have been taking my son for years doesn't do paper tickets, it just puts points on your card. He's never been into picking out prizes so i just kept racking up points for him and eventually got enough for the biggest prize, a ps4. 

I asked the youngest adults who voluntarily talk to me which games to try and they all suggested fortnite.

It turns out the ps4 comes with a headset with a microphone so you can talk to your online teammates.  I eschewed this opportunity. But the sound still plays through your tv speaker or headset if your teammates talk to you, and i found out quickly that it's better to wear headphones even if you're not using the mic. 

It turns out the 8 and 9 year olds that play this use the n word a lot, and they hit the hard R with vigor. It's hard not to stereotype the ethnicity of the prepubescent voices you're hearing when they casually make racial slurs a synonym for "that guy over there" but it took effort not to tell them how disappointed i was by their language and disrespect. 

Similarly, homophobic slurs appear to still be in style with the younger crowd, but usage of f....t seems to be more negative. For example, if a child said this n....r just walked up and shot that f....t, it would be complimentary of the shooter, but saying this f....t just walked up and shot that n....r, it would imply dismay with the shooter. 

These weren't the only pejoratives I heard.  Apparently there's a thing called a "noobskin", and I'm one of them.  It's easily identifiable. You can spend money to buy a "skin" that just makes your character look like a literal clown, or some other costume, instead of the default outfit they wear which looks like combat fatigues.  Using the default skin is something new players do, so noobskins are generally looked down upon and are not given opportunities for protection or other team activities that might be available to peers who spend money on the game. 

Common usage of this term includes things like "oh no we're all dead let's see what our last teammate was doing... oh no,  he's a noobskin... wait why is he running into that tree... oh no he sucks. You suck noobskin. Damn n....r, you're terrible.  Look at this n....r, he's horrible." Said in the voice of an angel faced boy lacking supervision and ball hair. 

There's also an indeterminate amount of age based discrimination. I tried talking on the microphone and was told that i sound "like someone's dad trying to learn how to play", which is admittedly true, but it was not said with the kind inflection of someone who was excited to play with me or appreciated the effort i was putting in to spend time with the younger generation.  

Overall playing fortnite was a valuable sociological experiment but not one I'll soon repeat.  Also you build walls and run around and shoot people but i didn't get very good at that. 

 
Made my first pot of coffee at the office this morning.  I turned 41 a month ago. 

I used to never drink coffee, but found it was a free source of caffeine at the office and started drinking it about 2 years ago.  Today, I made my first pot at the office. 


You drank coffee for 2 years before making your first pot, people like you are the reason I make 2-3 pots of coffee a day for my 2 cups of coffee. :hot:

 
Hurt your back sneezing?

Spend more time on your lawn?

Complain about the prices of things?

Actually think about retirement savings or paying for college?

Spend time in the garage with no real task to complete?

Stand in the alley and drink beer with your neighbors?

 
Laceless shoes - I have embraced the comfort and ease of not having to bend down and tie laces.  No more daily reminders of how larger my midsection is or how inflexible I’ve become.  Slip-ons, loafers, crocs (that’s right, yard shoes!), I’m wearing them!

 
The local arcade where i have been taking my son for years doesn't do paper tickets, it just puts points on your card. He's never been into picking out prizes so i just kept racking up points for him and eventually got enough for the biggest prize, a ps4. 

I asked the youngest adults who voluntarily talk to me which games to try and they all suggested fortnite.

It turns out the ps4 comes with a headset with a microphone so you can talk to your online teammates.  I eschewed this opportunity. But the sound still plays through your tv speaker or headset if your teammates talk to you, and i found out quickly that it's better to wear headphones even if you're not using the mic. 

It turns out the 8 and 9 year olds that play this use the n word a lot, and they hit the hard R with vigor. It's hard not to stereotype the ethnicity of the prepubescent voices you're hearing when they casually make racial slurs a synonym for "that guy over there" but it took effort not to tell them how disappointed i was by their language and disrespect. 

Similarly, homophobic slurs appear to still be in style with the younger crowd, but usage of f....t seems to be more negative. For example, if a child said this n....r just walked up and shot that f....t, it would be complimentary of the shooter, but saying this f....t just walked up and shot that n....r, it would imply dismay with the shooter. 

These weren't the only pejoratives I heard.  Apparently there's a thing called a "noobskin", and I'm one of them.  It's easily identifiable. You can spend money to buy a "skin" that just makes your character look like a literal clown, or some other costume, instead of the default outfit they wear which looks like combat fatigues.  Using the default skin is something new players do, so noobskins are generally looked down upon and are not given opportunities for protection or other team activities that might be available to peers who spend money on the game. 

Common usage of this term includes things like "oh no we're all dead let's see what our last teammate was doing... oh no,  he's a noobskin... wait why is he running into that tree... oh no he sucks. You suck noobskin. Damn n....r, you're terrible.  Look at this n....r, he's horrible." Said in the voice of an angel faced boy lacking supervision and ball hair. 

There's also an indeterminate amount of age based discrimination. I tried talking on the microphone and was told that i sound "like someone's dad trying to learn how to play", which is admittedly true, but it was not said with the kind inflection of someone who was excited to play with me or appreciated the effort i was putting in to spend time with the younger generation.  

Overall playing fortnite was a valuable sociological experiment but not one I'll soon repeat.  Also you build walls and run around and shoot people but i didn't get very good at that. 
FYI - You can start your own playstation chat party (from the playstation menu, not in game) and you won't hear any of the in game chat if you don't want to.

 
There's time for that, believe me.

You're geographically lucky that you live in a part of the country where such regional requirements as "dispose of a hooker's body" and "swing a bat at something other than a ball" do not apply (i checked w the board and you are just far N enough to not be required to "harass a swarthy person"). So it's just grandchildren, enema bags and the cold embrace of death from here on...
Man, that sounds good.

 
Made my first pot of coffee at the office this morning.  I turned 41 a month ago. 

I used to never drink coffee, but found it was a free source of caffeine at the office and started drinking it about 2 years ago.  Today, I made my first pot at the office.  According to the coffee snobs, I did a good job.  I believe that checks off all of the boxes and I'm now a grown ### man:

  1. Full time job - check
  2. Wife, kids, dog, cat - check
  3. Mortgage - check
  4. Self perform minor auto & house repairs - check
  5. Injured myself playing recreational sports - check
  6. Caught myself leering at women young enough to be my daughter - check
  7. Complained about taxes - check
  8. Don't understand "kids these days" - check
  9. Referred to "the good ole' days" in casual conversation - check
  10. Made a pot of coffee - check
Anything I'm missing?
Black licorice?

 

Users who are viewing this thread

Top