What's new
Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums

Welcome to Our Forums. Once you've registered and logged in, you're primed to talk football, among other topics, with the sharpest and most experienced fantasy players on the internet.

My wife thinks I have a drinking problem.... (1 Viewer)

Bull Dozier

Bull Dozier

Footballguy
How do I tell her to pound sand?

Now, before anyone thinks there might be some slim chance she's right, let me lay out how much I drink and where this conversation started.

My go to drink is a Captian Diet (coke).  I know, not the classiest or coolest, but its what I like.  For Christmas, I received two bottles of Captain, a 500ml and a 750ml.  The 750 hasn't been opened, the 500 is about 1/4 gone.

I've had a beer with dinner out twice since Christmas.

That is the grand total of alcohol I've consumer, prior to last night, in the last 2 1/2 months.  So, what started this conversation last night?  We've had some snow here in the Twin Cities that last few days.  My two sons shoveled the driveway after school yesterday (unprompted, proud of them).  It snowed a little bit more last night, and the wind was blowing so I went out about 8:30 to do a quick shovel of what had come down since.  I didn't ask anyone to help, they were all sitting inside watching TV.  I get back in and make myself a cup of hot chocolate to warm up.  I noticed we still had some Bailey's, so I added some to my hot chocolate (FTR, I bought this bottle of Bailey's Christmas 2017 when we got some for her parents).  I bring it in to the living room and she asks what I'm drinking.  I said hot chocolate with Bailey's, and she goes off the deep end.  She cannot believe that I would have a drink "ON A THURSDAY NIGHT" (her words) and thinks that is just the most reciculous thing ever.  I said its just Baileys, I put like 2 oz in my hot chocolate because its tastes better, and is not nearly enough alcohol to feel anything.

She drinks maybe twice a year.  She'll have half a bottle of Mike's Hard lemonade and stops because she feels a buzz, and doesn't like it.  So, she can't understand why anyone would drink, particularly during the week. I will, maybe once every two weeks (as evidenced by the pace of my Captain disappearing) have a drink after a stressful day at work.  She thinks this is a sign of a problem that I need to deal with in a more productive way.

Should probably make this a pole, but I'm primarily venting and offering up my situation for fodder...

 
Does she have some sort of personal traumatic previous experience with alcohol?  A family member that battled alcoholism or maybe knew a victim of a DUI or something of that nature?   I've known a few people that have demonstrated similar behavior to your wife and it's always been due to something like that. 

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Dan Lambskin said:
Are you married to Helen Lovejoy?
Click to expand...
I don't know who that is, but Helen Killjoy would be more appropriate.

jb1020 said:
She always like that when you drink?  Or is this just a one off type thing?  
Click to expand...
We get together with friends during the summer for bonfires, etc., and I have several drinks then.  She's never said anything about that type of drinking.  But, if I ever have one during the week, she thinks it is the craziest thing in the world.  I really haven't been doing that for very long (started maybe a year ago) and only do it once or twice a month.  I've brushed her off most of the time.  But, she went a little overboard last night and it was over Baileys in hot chocolate of all things. :crazy:  

 
That's rough. She's obviously wrong but that's a really hard accusation to answer without coming off defensive or evasive.

Maybe ask her for examples where your drinking has created problems... assuming the answer to this is basically never based on what you've described.

 
jvdesigns2002 said:
Does she have some sort of personal traumatic previous experience with alcohol?  A family member that battled alcoholism or maybe knew a victim of a DUI or something of that nature?   I've known a few people that have demonstrated similar behavior to your wife and it's always been due to something like that. 
Click to expand...
No.  The closest thing is that her mom probably drinks too much, but other than being annoyed by it when she sees her, I wouldn't describe it as being traumatized.  I've know my wife for almost 30 years (I was 17, she 15 when we met) and she's never said anything like the above.  She never drank in high school because she did not like the feeling of not being in control.  She is the definition of someone being "high on life," super extroverted and loves to be around people, so she would never drink socially.  She just doesn't understand it.

Da Guru said:
My wife gets mad if I don`t drink...says I am more fun and loose after a couple cocktails.
Click to expand...
I totally think of myself as a "fun Bobby" (Friends reference).  I would think my wife would be like yours.

 
Murph said:
That's rough. She's obviously wrong but that's a really hard accusation to answer without coming off defensive or evasive.

Maybe ask her for examples where your drinking has created problems... assuming the answer to this is basically never based on what you've described.
Click to expand...
I tried asking her something close to that last night.  Probably not phrased as well.  She never gave me any reason for it being bad other than drinking during the week is "weird."  

 
urbanhack said:
Light up a joint next Thursday night.
Click to expand...
Funnily enough (or not?) when I said at one point that it is not out of the ordinary to have a drink after a particularly stressful day, my 17 year old suggested there were other ways to de-stress, and then mocked taking a puff.

 
I feel like we're only getting one side of the story here. Maybe get your wife a FBG account so she can post here side? It is Friday after all.

 
If this is the first time she's said it in 30 years of you being together, there are probably other issues involved. Maybe even "the change".

 
Bull Dozier said:
She cannot believe that I would have a drink "ON A THURSDAY NIGHT" (her words) and thinks that is just the most reciculous thing ever. 
Click to expand...
Almost every Thursday night my buddies and I get together for beer and a cigar.   Last night I had about 7 or 8 beers in 5 hours which is about typical and it sets up the weekend nicely.

If this is wrong I do not want to be right...

 
dgreen said:
I feel like we're only getting one side of the story here. Maybe get your wife a FBG account so she can post here side? It is Friday after all.
Click to expand...
I'm sure someone is firing up a alias as we speak.  I've been telling her about my "message board people' for over a decade.  She makes condecending remarks about the community here between updating her instagram and facebook posts.

zamboni said:
If this is the first time she's said it in 30 years of you being together, there are probably other issues involved. Maybe even "the change".
Click to expand...
Not the first time, but the most overreactionary.  Maybe she doesn't understand what Bailey's is.  I tried to explain it, but then again if she drank 2 oz of Bailey's, she be smashed.  She has objected to me having a drink on a random weekday before, but I've just said its not a big deal and didn't really confront her on it.  Last night I pushed back, probably due to a combination of it only being Baileys, but also walking in to the house after shoveling the driveway while she sat on the couch, instead of a thank you I got a "you're drinking on a THURSDAY?!?!?!"

OrtonToOlsen said:
Last night the wife and I went to the movies.

Her: "We're sneaking in booze, right?"
Click to expand...
I'd say I'm jealous, but on the other hand, if my wife did drink too, I probably would have a drinking problem.

 
Bull Dozier said:
Not the first time, but the most overreactionary.  Maybe she doesn't understand what Bailey's is.  I tried to explain it, but then again if she drank 2 oz of Bailey's, she be smashed.  She has objected to me having a drink on a random weekday before, but I've just said its not a big deal and didn't really confront her on it.  Last night I pushed back, probably due to a combination of it only being Baileys, but also walking in to the house after shoveling the driveway while she sat on the couch, instead of a thank you I got a "you're drinking on a THURSDAY?!?!?!"
Click to expand...
Sounds like it's not just the drinking issue. But I have a consistently failing grade in emotional intelligence, so I probably don't know of what I speak.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
It's not just the drinking.  There's something else there and you should talk to her about it.  If you having a random drink on a Thursday night was a huge deal for her, she'd have blown up a lot sooner than this(assuming this isn't the first weeknight you've drank on before).

You drinking was just easier to attack than whatever it is she's actually upset about.

 
encaitar said:
It's not just the drinking.  There's something else there and you should talk to her about it.  If you having a random drink on a Thursday night was a huge deal for her, she'd have blown up a lot sooner than this(assuming this isn't the first weeknight you've drank on before).

You drinking was just easier to attack than whatever it is she's actually upset about.
Click to expand...
Now this guy is emotionally intelligent. 

 
Last edited by a moderator:
need2know said:
Your wife needs to back the f off. Stand your ground and put her in her place
Click to expand...
Sounds reasonable.

encaitar said:
It's not just the drinking.  There's something else there and you should talk to her about it.  If you having a random drink on a Thursday night was a huge deal for her, she'd have blown up a lot sooner than this(assuming this isn't the first weeknight you've drank on before).

You drinking was just easier to attack than whatever it is she's actually upset about.
Click to expand...
This might be the case.  However, I feel like I can read her well.  I usually know if something is bothering her, even if I don't know what it is.  It didn't seem like that last night, as we were just chilling with one of our kids watching TV, until I got up to shovel.

If there's any trailing effects today, I'll see what I can find out.

 
encaitar said:
It's not just the drinking.  There's something else there and you should talk to her about it.  If you having a random drink on a Thursday night was a huge deal for her, she'd have blown up a lot sooner than this(assuming this isn't the first weeknight you've drank on before).

You drinking was just easier to attack than whatever it is she's actually upset about.
Click to expand...
This.

I know what alcoholism looks like, and if you are being honest about your relationship with alcohol, it doesn't look like that.

That said, the online quiz posted earlier by someone is one good starting point for anyone who wants to assess their situation.

Another litmus test is "if you have sufficient reason to stop drinking, are you able to?"   Or "once you start drinking, are you able to stop?"

 
Man I don't even know what to say. If that's a drinking problem then I need to do some self reflection. Or I may just have a few when I get off work. My response would have been, I'm an adult. I can have drink whenever I please.

 
jb1020 said:
My wife recently discovered the Bota box.  Its dangerous keeping that thing on the counter all week.  Its easier to have a glass of wine now than it is to get a glass of water at my house.  
Click to expand...
Yeah, that would be dangerous. But we drink mostly Italian with some French and I like to mix them up and not have the same kind too often.

 
Alex P Keaton said:
This.

I know what alcoholism looks like, and if you are being honest about your relationship with alcohol, it doesn't look like that.

That said, the online quiz posted earlier by someone is one good starting point for anyone who wants to assess their situation.

Another litmus test is "if you have sufficient reason to stop drinking, are you able to?"   Or "once you start drinking, are you able to stop?"
Click to expand...
Ya, I'm being honest.  I have not exagerated how much I have consumed.  I have two teenage boys in the house, so if I'm continuing to be honest, I'd probably drink more frequently if they weren't there.  I do enjoy Capt Coke, and I like beer.  But, I don't think they need to see their dad drink all the time.  It's a special occasion type thing.  And as has been made clear in this thread, I drink a lot less than most people.

All four of my grandparents were alcoholic (maybe undiagnosed, but from the stories my parents told, that was my impression).  My dad had a vodka gimlet almost every night.  I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing, but I was scared of becoming an alcoholic so I did not drink in high school, and only a couple of times in college before I was 21.  I only drink now when I plan on it, or want one in the evening.  That's it.  I have no urges or cravings.  I just like to do it from time to time.

 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

parasaurolophus
Kid bullying my daughter.
2
Replies
57
Views
1K
Mrs. Rannous
Mrs. Rannous
G
Help for a heartsick dad
Replies
47
Views
1K
Jaysus
Jaysus
M
What's the weirdest thing your dog does?
2
Replies
86
Views
2K
ragincajun
ragincajun

Users who are viewing this thread

Total: 2 (members: 0, guests: 2)
Top