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Toxic Femininity (1 Viewer)

KickinT

Footballguy
If you apply logic to the the term toxic masculinity, or too masculine, that implies that one could be too feminine.  Are there negative feminine qualities?  Do we dare in this age of “equality”, speak of such things?  Does a man fear celibacy  so much that we will accept yet another double standard?  Why are not people condemning this one sided concept for the rubbish it is?  Please respond as to why and how you think we have gotten to this place in male\female relationships. Oh and Happy Valentines Day!

 
When my wife saw the Gillette ad, she was shocked. She immediately said "Now imagine you showed a woman playing head games or being #####y or catty and tagged it with something like "Women, we have to do better." She concluded that Gillette would be shuttered within a week.

 
Toxic femininity won't catch on, but there are certain elements of the hyper-feminine that are doing society no good. I'm not sure I really want to come up with examples for fear of seeming like a whiner, but there seems to be a sort of social matriarchy going on these days, as Despyzer pointed out. I remember when Lorena Bobbitt graced the cover of Vanity Fair in a sort of sexy pool shoot. 

That was when, even in high school, I knew that society might have jumped the shark with identity politics and victim culture. 

Also, in before somebody makes a snarky comment about how hard white men have it. It's not mutually exclusive to have economic and political benefits but be lagging in one indicator. 

 
It's 3am in the morning,  there you are both asleep when she is awaken by a bump in the night.

Wife...pssst pssst, wake up (with an elbow nudge)

Husband...huh?,  what?

Wife...listen, hear that?

Husband....yeah, go check it out.

 
If you apply logic to the the term toxic masculinity, or too masculine, that implies that one could be too feminine.  Are there negative feminine qualities?  Do we dare in this age of “equality”, speak of such things?  Does a man fear celibacy  so much that we will accept yet another double standard?  Why are not people condemning this one sided concept for the rubbish it is?  Please respond as to why and how you think we have gotten to this place in male\female relationships. Oh and Happy Valentines Day!
Yes.

We should be able to.  I can speak freely with my wife about such issues.  

Yes.

Because men fear celibacy too much and women will not throw their collective identity under the bus in an "argument of the sexes". 

 
It's 3am in the morning,  there you are both asleep when she is awaken by a bump in the night.

Wife...pssst pssst, wake up (with an elbow nudge)

Husband...huh?,  what?

Wife...listen, hear that?

Husband....yeah, go check it out.
It really seems like you are trying to make a point that revolves around the fact that genetic averages demonstrate that males are typically physically stronger than females. Is that sincerely the hook you want to hang your hat on?

 
It really seems like you are trying to make a point that revolves around the fact that genetic averages demonstrate that males are typically physically stronger than females. Is that sincerely the hook you want to hang your hat on?
More like we do have guys opening doors for their women.  Men changing that flat. He leads the dance as she follows that lead. The door bell rings at 11pm, he is the one who answers the door.

Daughter is all nervous about the dance, this is time for mom to step in and ease the nervousness.

The family meets up on Thanksgiving, it will be granny at the head of the table saying grace.

When Alabama lines up to kickoff another football season it will be a male head coach leading the troops.

It's never going to be...male/female....so what?

 
More like we do have guys opening doors for their women.  Men changing that flat. He leads the dance as she follows that lead. The door bell rings at 11pm, he is the one who answers the door.

Daughter is all nervous about the dance, this is time for mom to step in and ease the nervousness.

The family meets up on Thanksgiving, it will be granny at the head of the table saying grace.

When Alabama lines up to kickoff another football season it will be a male head coach leading the troops.

It's never going to be...male/female....so what?
Are you sincerely trying to make a point? You have propogated a posting style that is very vague in general.

I honestly like you but most around here think you are a troll, more measured than most but a troll nonetheless and I definitely understand where they are coming from.

I am asking you sincerely to try and make your point clearly without the run-ons and stream of consciousness style that typically marks your posts.

I'm serious here, guy. You seemingly dodged my last post in the grocery store clerk thread (or just missed it) but I'd really like to read coherent, well defined post explaining your position on this topic...or a response in that it her thread.

ETA: actually your style is more fragment than run-on but I think you get my point.

 
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Are you sincerely trying to make a point? You have propogated a posting style that is very vague in general.

I honestly like you but most around here think you are a troll, more measured than most but a troll nonetheless and I definitely understand where they are coming from.

I am asking you sincerely to try and make your point clearly without the run-ons and stream of consciousness style that typically marks your posts.

I'm serious here, guy. You seemingly dodged my last post in the grocery store clerk thread (or just missed it) but I'd really like to read coherent, well defined post explaining your position on this topic...or a response in that it her thread.
I have noticed there is a....if you don't see it my way, you must be a troll.. which is comical.

I simply never confuse the role a man plays and the one a woman plays. Nothing any deeper than that.

 
I have noticed there is a....if you don't see it my way, you must be a troll.. which is comical.

I simply never confuse the role a man plays and the one a woman plays. Nothing any deeper than that.
Fair enough. But it also seems that you confuse a fragmented, stream of consciousness writing style with a coherent fully formed point. Perhaps changing that would generate less skepticism of the positions you take.

Playing the persecuted message board victim rarely gains traction regardless of which perspective you feel the persecution is coming from.

 
I have noticed there is a....if you don't see it my way, you must be a troll.. which is comical.
No. He's saying that in most instances, no one knows what the #### you are saying. And he's right. He was kind enough to try and explain that rather than just saying "What?" And just to be clear, I was pretty sure I understood your initial point and was going to point out as much to Chaka. But admittedly even I wasn't entirely sure.

 
This reminds me of white people that complain about there being a Black History Month but not a White History Month.
Thanks for the response. Yes, my post was an alcohol enhanced rant that got a little off track and whiney, I will give you that. You must never feel emasculated by the women in your life, or you’re ok with it?

 
I got nothing for the thread but "it's 3am in the morning" is one of the most annoying things I've read in quite some time. I'm not sure why.

 
One small example would be when a woman tells you to man up or quite being a baby. 
men actually say this to other men fairly often.  Is that considered emasculating?

As a side question, is there a feminine version of the word emasculate?

 
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People have to learn how to stop taking life personally. We'll be improvising - which, as i've said, is only for fools & geniuses - at life til we do.
Yeah, I’m getting the sense this topic bothers me more than most. It may be a non issue all together. But, imagine being able to sit on the fence dividing the way things were women, and the way things are now. Then being able to hop from one side to the other when it presents an advantage. Can you have your cake and eat it too? That’s hard to get along with.

 
men actually say this to other men fairly often.  Is that considered emasculating?

As a side question, is there a feminine version of the word emasculate?
Yes I think the behavior is one and the same regardless of sex.  Not cool.  Another hypothetical. A man tells a woman to “ be a woman”’and stop acting so masculine. 

 
“Toxic Femininity” would more likely be the “damsel syndrome” or learned helplessness that women are encouraged to display and the ability to take advantage of male stereotypes. 

 
Yeah, I’m getting the sense this topic bothers me more than most. It may be a non issue all together. But, imagine being able to sit on the fence dividing the way things were women, and the way things are now. Then being able to hop from one side to the other when it presents an advantage. Can you have your cake and eat it too? That’s hard to get along with.
Work on yourself, dood. There's enough in that for each and every one of us not to have to pay a moment's attention to anything outside their ken. And, once one does, it's such a great & consuming pleasure that even a luckyily peripatetic type such as i doesn't feel he has to worry about much anything else. As a dead white guy once said, "Self-reform does more to change the world than any crowd of noisy patriots".

 
make yourself better and delete your facebook account. you guys wouldn't even be talking about this unless you hadn't already been spoon fed the toxic masculinity crap already. ate it up, too. this is a figment of someone's imagination and you're wasting time worrying about it. a man doesn't worry about this

 
make yourself better and delete your facebook account. you guys wouldn't even be talking about this unless you hadn't already been spoon fed the toxic masculinity crap already. ate it up, too. this is a figment of someone's imagination and you're wasting time worrying about it. a man doesn't worry about this
Which man?

 
Work on yourself, dood. There's enough in that for each and every one of us not to have to pay a moment's attention to anything outside their ken. And, once one does, it's such a great & consuming pleasure that even a luckyily peripatetic type such as i doesn't feel he has to worry about much anything else. As a dead white guy once said, "Self-reform does more to change the world than any crowd of noisy patriots".


make yourself better and delete your facebook account. you guys wouldn't even be talking about this unless you hadn't already been spoon fed the toxic masculinity crap already. ate it up, too. this is a figment of someone's imagination and you're wasting time worrying about it. a man doesn't worry about this
In other words Man up. Add that to the itemized list of deficiencies our gender must work on.

 
In other words Man up. Add that to the itemized list of deficiencies our gender must work on.
Not necessarily. There are as many definitions of man and woman as there are hormones in your underpants. I'm suggesting that finding yours is a great deal more useful and enjoyable to yourself, your loved ones & society than troubling the business of strangers

 
Not necessarily. There are as many definitions of man and woman as there are hormones in your underpants. I'm suggesting that finding yours is a great deal more useful and enjoyable to yourself, your loved ones & society than troubling the business of strangers
Sorry to trouble you. I appreciate all responses and opinions. I’m interested in how men view this. And thanks to Henry, how one reasonable feminist sees it. 

 
Did you read Henry’s linked article?
just did. pandering. there's a big market for that. several years ago i tried blogging in the attempt to make a late-life writing career for myself. because i expressed some original opinions on gender politics (including about the "sexual fraud" issues i mentioned in my first post in this thread), i was set upon by a series of "Men's Health" imitators who were looking to make dough with both "poor white man' and "poor man" content & formats. victim culture, nothing more. there is a real issue here, but anyone who believes now is the time to address that hasn't given the subject enough quality thought.

 
Maybe you can check back in and grace us after all of the less intelligent and self aware catch up on this.

 

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