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About 554,000 homeless people in America, who knows how many more less than a paycheck away, and a strong disagreement with observations of what you allege to be bad actors. Unless you consider living in your car to not be homeless.
I guess it's possible, and I agree "distressed stranger" absolutely sounds like a routine. But it's certainly a routine that an actual homeless person might use as well.
That’s unfortunate, and surprising as I thought the data showed homeless and mentally ill people were no more likely to commit violent crimes than the general population.
Yeah, but those stupid scientists keep revising their hypotheses. And stories are more fun to tell.
I wasn’t trying to be a jerk. Your post was just so different than anecdotal things I’ve read over the years.BobbyLayne said: Give it a shot & report back?Johnny Rock said:I would think $8 PER HOUR would be low for NYC. $8 PER DAY seems preposterous.
chaka i think your heart is frankly a lot bigger than mine honestly brohan but with all due respect any time you lie to get money i think that qualifies as a scam doesnt it take that to the bank bromigo
The lie is an assumption. And also in OP there's a young child present there with the person asking for gas. I understand a lot of people have made up their mind that the guy is scamming them and going to buy drugs or try to stab and kill them or whatever but maybe he's not? And maybe either way the $5 means way more than to them than it does to me.
no i am responding to chaka and he said what is below i am not talking about what the op said just about what chaka said where he says flat out someone lied to get money and that my friend is a scam right take that to the bank
Your points are valid, but there are plenty of other people out there to whom $5 means a lot, too. How do you choose? First come, first serve?
Yeah, see I guess I think you have to look both big and small picture. In the grand scheme of things, my $5 can be put to better use, without a doubt.
By definition if they are lying to you, then you are getting scammed. Perhaps you don't mind being scammed if you think the person is down on their luck. That's your choice.
Yeah, I think the high roller and violent homeless stories are overblown. But I also think you're underestimating the potential harm you may be causing if your cash is used to fuel addiction.
I'm not sure about my heart but I appreciate it.
i dont have the answers to any of the larger questions you asked but i dont think it is right to excuse lies history has taught us that leads to horrible things so for myself i subscribe to old sammy langhorn clemens addage that people who tell the truth dont have to remember anything take that to the bank bromigos
My guy using a child as a prop in an attempt to turn the odds in his favor is a scam by definition.
1. I wasn’t born yesterday
honestly i have no idea how you determine who is lying i guess the only way you know is when you find out but all i am saying is that once you know it should not be excused take that to the bank brohan
FTR I also think that guy is probably lying about needing gas.
I went through a drive through food place. I paid with cash, the exact amount. the cashier seemed absolutely startled that somebody was using cash. clearly she was ready for me to show my phone or my watch. I'm a dinosaur and the comet is coming right for me.
Interesting perspective.
Good point. I say be up front about it and you’d get a guy like me throwing you gas and a 20.
nope i am not assuming anything i was simply responding originally to the question you asked where if someone lies were you scammed and i said yes a lie is a lie and that is a scam that is the only point i was making i honestly know that i dont know enough about people and why they do what they do to make judgment calls about them or to be able to tell if they are telling the truth or not my only singular one off this is it point is that lying is lying and it shouldnt be excused thats it take that to the bank brochacho
With strangers asking me for something, that is the safe thing to do. I am confident I am right more often than not. And by lying I'm include little white lies, deception, and lies of omission.
So how much time are you willing to give someone to convince you they are telling the truth? What does that scenario look like?
I love your well thought out response and agree wholeheartedly. As a father I seek teachable moments for my kids as well.
The main problem is that the more people who give without caring if it's a real person who needs help or a scammer, then the more scammers come along. By blindly handing out money to everyone, it essentially creates more scammers. And the more scammers, the less of the overall pie that goes to those in need. Not to mention, it jades people against handing money over to strangers.
You're jesting, but that is something to think about.
That's not my problem to solve as I walk down a city street. I give to charity and have been recognized as a top volunteer in my 70,000+ employee company, so I sleep well at night knowing I'm doing my share. Every person I encounter on the street has a problem of some sort. Some are short on money. Some have issues in their marriage. Some just lost a parent, or other loved one. I certainly can't worry myself with solving all of the troubles in the world, so I do what I can in a way I feel is appropriate. Giving money to people I don't know on the street to do something I don't know isn't a responsible use of my limited resources.
I appreciate your honesty here.
) pursuing the same young lady. Surely this is a zero-sum game; one of us is going to be a winner, and the other will be the loser. But what if she chose neither of us? Did we both lose? But then let's suppose we each go on to meet someone even better suited to be a life partner: more beautiful, kinder, more in tune with our dreams & ambitions, absolutely committed to making the relationship work. Though there was an L in there for the short term, we both end up with a W, and it wouldn't have been possible without the relationship that never worked out.
Giving them money certainly isn't the moral high ground. It provides zero net societal benefit the vast majority of the time.
I understand what you're saying about happiness, but this is actual money. There is a finite amount of money that is going to be handed out to panhandlers. If I see one panhandler, I give them $5. If I see 20 panhandlers, I won't be giving each one $5. So the more panhandlers we add, the less money there is in the overall pot that is collected each year. But if we add scammers in with the panhandlers, less money goes to the actual people who need it.I appreciate your honesty here.
I think that worldview explains many of the answers in this thread. In game theory, it's called Zero-sum thinking. This zero-sum bias informs our thinking in any situation: resources are finite, and therefore your loss is my gain. If someone else is winning, then someone is losing - probably me. It's them or us. It's a view of the world as a closed system.
It’s all about competition: The player who collects the most and makes it through the course is the winner. The others lose. Some people take game playing very seriously and will do just about anything to win.
- Apply this concept to finances: The rich would have a lot less if the poor were to have more than barely anything.
- Social interactions: If I’m friends with you, I don’t have any friendship left over for that other person. So they’re not included in our group.
- Classroom: We’re grading on a curve. So even if you do excellent work, you may get a low grade, because there are others who do more excellent work and somebody has to be on the bottom end of the curve.
- Workplace: There are 2 positions open, with 10 applicants. Only 2 can get a job. The rest are losers.
The thing is, zero-sum thinking is just that: Thinking. It’s a psychological construct that could be based in facts, but often is not.
If success is measured by happiness, life is not a zero sum game because happiness is not a limited resource. Could that apply to other areas?
Personally I don't think of life as a zero sum game. We live in a time of amazing abundance. There are new things being created, invented, perfected, every single day. Life gets better and better. I don't need to worry about the size of my slice of the pie (& the crumbs that fell off cutting it - those are mine too!) if the pie is getting bigger and bigger.
- At the end of our lives we have more skills, experiences and wisdom than when we entered it. (Hopefully a lot more of each if we played our cards right).
- There is no limit to human creativity. E.g. two companies in the same industry who compete with each other, will actually grow the entire industry and both will profit. E.g. Apple and Samsung.
- An act of kindness to another human being or animal can lead to a reciprocating action as a well as a friendship. So for zero net cost, you have now gained a friendship.
- If there is only one promotion vacancy available and your competitor gets it but you think you could have done it, you can get that promotion at another company or start your own business. So you both win.
- Let's imagine we are young men (
Zero-sum thinking limits us far more than it actually protects us. It divides us into winners and losers. Setting that thinking aside, we can find options. We can have a win-win instead. Sure, there are times when resources or options are truly limited; zero-sum thinking might apply in those circumstances. But I would submit it's not nearly as many times as we are apt to think. Because options. There are so many options in life when we look for them. Options, alternatives, other ways of addressing the problem or issue. Other ways to move forward.
It starts with our thinking: A mindset of abundance, so let’s find options. Or a mindset of limited resources, so somebody wins and somebody loses. Which do we really prefer?
What they do with the money I give them speaks to them as a person. Whether or not I choose to help or to not help someone when I have the ability to speaks to me as a person.
This is different from what i read. The only studies i saw that had %s that high were when they gave out gift cards and tracked the purchases because they had the card info.
Does your employer follow you around to see if you’re hitting the liquor store after payday?
, feel free to hold another view.
Why does that matter? I did an assigned task for an agreed upon set of money. That transaction is completed. I made no promise to my employer of what I would spend it on, and my employer doesn't care as long as I don't spend it on something that affects my job.Does your employer follow you around to see if you’re hitting the liquor store after payday?
Most of us are cashless & walk around without any bills. Debit card for everything (though I usually carry some because so many restaurants are cash only or have a high vig if you swipe.)
If you’re worried the ROI on a couple bucks, maybe just answer (probably truthfully) “Sorry I don’t have any cash today” if you’re that concerned about how it’s going to be spent.
We’re literally talking about extending compassion in the form of a few dollars to the most vulnerable people. It’s not gonna move the needle in your life.
Just my
