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people who grew up with a purpose/goal - how's that going? (1 Viewer)

mr. furley

mr. furley

Footballguy
as a parent, i want my kids to go to college with a plan in mind so as to not just founder around piling up debt & ultimately (hopefully) getting a degree that maybe isn't of any use.

my day to day focus growing up was definitely not on the future. nothing really interested me long-term to a level where i chased it with a plan.. so i'm not sure if this is something we're born with or something people stumbled upon while trying out many new things as kids.

i know people who said things like "oh, i knew i wanted to be an architect since i was like 6". they always had the passion for a single thing, the drive to pursue it and the ability to stay on task from youth to middle-age. 

and still other people who were able to pursue many, many different options until they hit on something they really loved and decided would be their future.

my questions then are:

 if you were someone with a passion at an early age.. did you pursue it? how? how's it going today?

if you were someone who tried on many hats and found one that fit.. were you naturally curious? did your parents push you to constant new adventures?

 
I worked in fast food, moved on to waiting tables, then bartending. At 23 I decided I wanted to go to college because my friends were all getting degrees. I thought, hmm, what sounds hard because if I do this I want have a degree in something that sounds really cool. So, I chose Aerospace Engineering. And that's the real reason. I had no interest in technology or airplanes.

Five years later I graduated (at 29), worked at Honeywell for awhile, and started my own business 18 years ago.

No push from parents, no push from anyone except me feeling left behind by what my friends were doing.

Everything worked out just fine. 

 
kutta said:
I worked in fast food, moved on to waiting tables, then bartending. At 23 I decided I wanted to go to college because my friends were all getting degrees. I thought, hmm, what sounds hard because if I do this I want have a degree in something that sounds really cool. So, I chose Aerospace Engineering. And that's the real reason. I had no interest in technology or airplanes.

Five years later I graduated (at 29), worked at Honeywell for awhile, and started my own business 18 years ago.

No push from parents, no push from anyone except me feeling left behind by what my friends were doing.

Everything worked out just fine. 
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Now imagine if “Porn star” was on the top of your list of cool sounding jobs how your life would have turned out. 

 
mr. furley said:
i know people who said things like "oh, i knew i wanted to be an architect since i was like 6". they always had the passion for a single thing, the drive to pursue it and the ability to stay on task from youth to middle-age. 

my questions then are:

 if you were someone with a passion at an early age.. did you pursue it? how? how's it going today?

if you were someone who tried on many hats and found one that fit.. were you naturally curious? did your parents push you to constant new adventures?
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since 12 for me. didn't know what they were before then.

for me, because I knew it's what I wanted to do- I didn't myopically immerse myself in it... I spent time doing other stuff while young- sports, music, girls, etc. took drafting classes in HS and then majored in college (albeit, at a liberal arts based college where the major was almost a minor compared to study of liberal arts) with a focused MArch afterwards. 

my parents always told my brother and me to follow our bliss (campbell), and supported us in whatever things we pursued. I don't ever recall them pushing us into things we weren't already naturally interested in. they always said school was our job, so we were fortunate to not have to work as kids. my dad grew up broke and fatherless and made damn sure we didn't- he was very involved. and my brother and I both worked hard in school before heading off into our idiotic career paths- his even more dumb and self-absorbed than mine: actor. 

so yes, I pursued it. and today is awesome!

the last month has sucked though... stretching back about- oh... 20-25 years or so.

 
i, of course, had no plan and my life is a direct product of that. I'm broke, alone and spend most of my time spewing stories & theories to a small colloquy of mooyuks online. i have been very lucky at times and very unlucky at times, but have no regrets and ended up knowing far more than i ever thought i could, which i've wanted since i was 2.

i believe strict plans, for which i understand the reasons, are a net minus for humankind. there is but one criteria i wanted for my sons as they developed, and i believe they met it - that they care. about something, anything, everything. far as i know (my contribution was little more than biological - but i have excellent taste in women), they are both good before great and believe the give is the real get in life. the rest is window dressing. nufced

 
When I was young I really wanted to be a veterinarian. 

Then I met zoology the same time I met beer and women. 

So now I'm a vet of a different set. 

 
Funny bc I was the kid who wanted to be an architect at age 6.  I use to sketch house floor plans in my notebooks and had a drafting ruler set before I was 10.  

High school only offered a 1/2 year drafting class so I had them allow me to do individual instruction in place of other electives. 

I went to college and after my 1st semester I met some guys in the graphic design/advertising dept and though it was super cool. I switched my major that day and went home to tell my parents. After I revived my mother, we decided To have me go to a local college to see if I liked it.  I went on from there, graduated and have been working in advertising and creative roles for over 20 years and just left my full time gig early in the year to open my own creative agency.  

I do miss architecture and had had a blast coming up with ideas when we renovated my house.  But I don’t know if I would have been as happy in that field. I know a few and none of them are doing work that would keep me interested.  

 
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mr. furley said:
as a parent, i want my kids to go to college with a plan in mind so as to not just founder around piling up debt & ultimately (hopefully) getting a degree that maybe isn't of any use.

my day to day focus growing up was definitely not on the future. nothing really interested me long-term to a level where i chased it with a plan.. so i'm not sure if this is something we're born with or something people stumbled upon while trying out many new things as kids.

i know people who said things like "oh, i knew i wanted to be an architect since i was like 6". they always had the passion for a single thing, the drive to pursue it and the ability to stay on task from youth to middle-age. 

and still other people who were able to pursue many, many different options until they hit on something they really loved and decided would be their future.

my questions then are:

 if you were someone with a passion at an early age.. did you pursue it? how? how's it going today?

if you were someone who tried on many hats and found one that fit.. were you naturally curious? did your parents push you to constant new adventures?
Click to expand...
Let's hope they format their text better than you.

 
I went to college with the intentions of being a sportswriter.  Majored in English for about a quarter and a half before I realized I wouldn't last.  

Had always loved the "built environment", maps, etc.... saw that "Geography" was actually a degree and many of the classes sounded really interesting, so I switched over at the end of my freshman year.  I was too deficient in math to do architecture... and there was no program at my college anyways.

25ish years later and I'm still immersed in the industry.  In real estate development / construction management.  

Funny thing is, after all this time, and after ditching the dream of being a full-fledged sportswriter, I'm writing about sports as a side hustle (thanks, FBG!).

Not sure what my daughter's path will be (she's just 8), but I can see my son being in engineering.  He's only 6 but wows us with what kinds of things he's able to pull off with train sets, toy car ramps, etc.

 
I went to college with the sole purpose of playing sports.

Was undeclared for 2 years, then majored in Business, then Finance my Senior year because I liked the primary professor in that department and I had a high aptitude in math.

Graduated, got married and got a job as an accountant in that order over 3 months at age 22.  Then I bounced around accounting gigs for 15 years, and had 2 kids, before deciding I just couldn't do it anymore and started really thinking about what I wanted to do with the rest of my life.

Landed on construction project management with a long term goal of owning rental houses and doing non-profit housing work as part of a Christian ministry.

Having a goal of some kind is both more demanding and more fulfilling.  I'm less depressed at least.

 
There is a book just out about specialization vs generalization by David Epstein that just came out that seems like it touches on a lot of these and seems to suggest that that generalization leads to better outcomes.  At least that’s my initial sense just from having read about the book.

 
A new book argues that you can be more successful in life if you learn different things and don't try to be an expert. In "Range: Why Generalists Triumph in a Specialized World", author David Epstein says diverse experiences are helpful in business, science, music, parenting and even sports.

Appearing on "CBS This Morning" Monday, Epstein said research by LinkedIn on a half-million members found that one of the best predictors of who would become an executive was the number of different job functions they had worked across within the industry, "which kind of goes against everything we're told about just 'pick and stick,'" Epstein said.

He even managed to sway Malcolm Gladwell, who had characterized the importance of putting in 10,000 hours of practice in order to gain proficiency in a particular skill. 

"I changed his mind some," Epstein said. "Not that practice isn't incredibly important, but if you look at sports and music, the domains that we most associate with these specializations, when scientists study future leaps in those domains, what they see is that they actually have what I called a sampling period early on. They do a variety of sports, variety of instruments, gain a breadth of general skill, learn about their interests and their abilities before they focus, and systematically delay specializing until later than peers who plateau at lower levels."
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I have no idea whether this is really true or not, just thought it was interesting and relevant and of the moment.

 
I had an amazing sense of purpose from the age of 11.  It drove me nearly every day and I told everyone I met about it.

But then I killed Count Rugen and I didn't know what to do with myself.

 
Long Ball Larry said:
I have no idea whether this is really true or not, just thought it was interesting and relevant and of the moment.
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Interesting. I’ve taught almost every core subject in high school and I have enjoyed that a ton. It’s hard work but also really rewarding to dig deeper into a new subject. 

 
Dinsy Ejotuz said:
I had an amazing sense of purpose from the age of 11.  It drove me nearly every day and I told everyone I met about it.

But then I killed Count Rugen and I didn't know what to do with myself.
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I’ll like your post but it’s not as good as Navin’s since he’s in character.  Go get the Inigo alias and you win.

 
As far back as I can remember, I wanted to be 2 things as a kid: race car driver or an inventor.   By the time I was in 9th grade, that morphed into engineering.  It helped that my grandpa and uncle were both engineers.  I went to college, got my engineering degree. And then my masters.  

I've worked the past 20 years as an engineer designing consumer products.  It can be a pain in the butt, but I really can't imagine doing anything else.  I do get a good sense of fulfillment seeing my products in the stores.  I can walk into any Target and find products on the shelves that I designed for 3 different companies.

Its helpful that my degree and career have the same title, it's a field in demand, and the pay is pretty good.

I've got no regrets.

 
mr. furley said:
i know people who said things like "oh, i knew i wanted to be an architect since i was like 6". they always had the passion for a single thing, the drive to pursue it and the ability to stay on task from youth to middle-age. 
Click to expand...
This is funny because an architect is precisely what I wanted to be starting at around 13. Took every available drafting and architecture class I could take through high school. Applied and was accepted to a highly regarded Masters of Architecture program.  And then I proceeded to drop out of the program after only a year. Realized that while I was a good draftsman, I was going to be a bad architect. It’s hard enough to make a living when you’re good at it. Best decision I ever made. 

 
moleculo said:
As far back as I can remember, I wanted to be 2 things as a kid: race car driver or an inventor.   By the time I was in 9th grade, that morphed into engineering.  It helped that my grandpa and uncle were both engineers.  I went to college, got my engineering degree. And then my masters.  

I've worked the past 20 years as an engineer designing consumer products.  It can be a pain in the butt, but I really can't imagine doing anything else.  I do get a good sense of fulfillment seeing my products in the stores.  I can walk into any Target and find products on the shelves that I designed for 3 different companies.

Its helpful that my degree and career have the same title, it's a field in demand, and the pay is pretty good.

I've got no regrets.
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I’ve never thought of an engineer being consumer focused. Can you give me some real examples?

 
Glass Joe said:
I’ve never thought of an engineer being consumer focused. Can you give me some real examples?
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I've designed Cell phones, pagers, blood glucose meters, fingerprint scanners (ok, these were military & LEO, not so much comsumer), retail security (the things that set off alarms if the cashier doesn't remove), and juvenile products.  

 
moleculo said:
I've worked the past 20 years as an engineer designing consumer products.  It can be a pain in the butt, but I really can't imagine doing anything else.  I do get a good sense of fulfillment seeing my products in the stores.  I can walk into any Target and find products on the shelves that I designed for 3 different companies.
Click to expand...
Funny, I feel the same way being a graphic designer. I've had books I've designed on display at the Disney Store, WDW and all the major book stores. Ads hung in local malls. A huge billboard outside and inside CitiField. And products in snack and personal care aisles at supermarkets in supermarkets, even a few products we eat and use at home. It is a very fulfilling feeling. 

On the flip side, when we went through our home remodel and expansion a few years ago, we found the architect who designed the house for our original contractor—the house was one of the 3 basic models he built. We hired him thinking it would be a smart move given he designed it, so he would know the best ways to expand it. When we invited him over for a consultation, he admitted to us that he had never actually been inside one of these homes built. It was interesting and kinda sad to see him walking around looking at all the interior aspects of the house like how the ceiling lines came together and the flow of the rooms. 

 
I had no ambitions in life but my parents pushed engineering hard growing up so that is what I became.  I did not have an aptitude for it and I hated it for the most part.  But through some hard work and luck, I made enough to retire early and get out.

My daughter is in college now.  While she is doing extraordinary well grade wise, she has had some serious mental issues that does not allow us to have any long term plans as we just work day to day with her.   It is hard seeing all her cousins have specific goals that they are achieving when she is every bit as smart or smarter than they are but lacks so many other life skills.

 
When I was in school we didn't have any computer courses until Grade 11.  I was hooked right then.  We had PET computers I believe with cassettes for storage.  We started programming simple things like the infamous "Hello world!" and I knew this was my calling.  Went to college after grade 12 and was a computer Operator at 19. One year of that and promoted to programmer.  I continued through the ranks from Jr, to Sr. to analyst, etc and now, at 54 am in Software Support. I feel very fortunate to have known back then what I wanted to do with my life. I don't think I could do anything else and certainly wouldn't have as profitable career in any other profession.

 
glvsav37 said:
Funny bc I was the kid who wanted to be an architect at age 6.  I use to sketch house floor plans in my notebooks and had a drafting ruler set before I was 10.  

High school only offered a 1/2 year drafting class so I had them allow me to do individual instruction in place of other electives. 

I went to college and after my 1st semester I met some guys in the graphic design/advertising dept and though it was super cool. I switched my major that day and went home to tell my parents. After I revived my mother, we decided To have me go to a local college to see if I liked it.  I went on from there, graduated and have been working in advertising and creative roles for over 20 years and just left my full time gig early in the year to open my own creative agency.  

I do miss architecture and had had a blast coming up with ideas when we renovated my house.  But I don’t know if I would have been as happy in that field. I know a few and none of them are doing work that would keep me interested.  
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Flip this just a bit. Kinda.  One of my interests in high school lie in graphic design. I eventually decided to pursue advertising art and design in college. Ran into some architectural design majors in the dorms who were tasked with building 3D mock ups of ideas they had as a way to flesh out some creativity. Many of them were stuck, so beer in hand I wandered around pointing out potential relationships in their designs that they didn't yet have the eye to see. Got me some free beers. I didn't change my major, but my interest in architecture has stayed with me since.  

 
I went to college with plans to be an attorney. Then my senior year, I decided I didn't want to do that. I was double majoring in psychology and poli sci. I went to graduate school for industrial/organizational psychology. Got out of school went to work in my field, a couple years later got canned. Switched it up, took a ground floor IT job. Took to IT like a duck to water. 5 years later, I was a systems architect. Most people need 10-15 years to get that gig. 

While doing IT, I started a blog about grilling. That makes me a nice check every month. Nothing to live on, but helps with the quality of life.

The blog led to social media. I crush it on Instagram and get paid to put products in my posts. This pays quite well. Not enough to live on, but helps with the quality of life.

Then people asked me to teach them how to crush it on Instagram. So I formed a company with one of my first students and we have an online course that pays pretty well, but not enough to live on...

Then brands started asking us to run their social media. So we added some employees and now manage feeds for a handful of companies and are growing rapidly. It pays well...

Then I had brands come to me to organize ambassador programs for them, which I do as well as experiential marketing campaigns. It pays well too. 

So I have a day job and own three small companies and have the biggest grilling and BBQ IG feed in the world. I more than doubled my salary from the day job, but will double dip for as long as I can. My benefits are stellar working for a hospital system and I qualify for the pension plan in a couple years. 

So what is my plan? Now it's just spotting opportunities. I have a very broad network of people I can draw on and when a need arises, sometimes I can fill the need. Not always. And when I do, I get a check. I guess you could call it organic entrepreneur. Oh, and very blessed. 

 
El Floppo said:
still bitter about this co-opting of the "architect" thing, if anybody cares. 
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It's architecting solutions for some sort of business need. So identify the need, find some sort of solution out there then implementing that solution in the current infrastructure, often times with the help of several other departments, so a lot of project management. I actually stepped back from that to an engineering roll about 4 years later and stayed there for the next 7 years. Less responsibility.

 
glock said:
Flip this just a bit. Kinda.  One of my interests in high school lie in graphic design. I eventually decided to pursue advertising art and design in college. Ran into some architectural design majors in the dorms who were tasked with building 3D mock ups of ideas they had as a way to flesh out some creativity. Many of them were stuck, so beer in hand I wandered around pointing out potential relationships in their designs that they didn't yet have the eye to see. Got me some free beers. I didn't change my major, but my interest in architecture has stayed with me since.  
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what are you doing now? still in advertising? 

 
TheFanatic said:
It's architecting solutions for some sort of business need. So identify the need, find some sort of solution out there then implementing that solution in the current infrastructure, often times with the help of several other departments, so a lot of project management. I actually stepped back from that to an engineering roll about 4 years later and stayed there for the next 7 years. Less responsibility.
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I understand what it is. still bitter about appropriating the name. and also now bitter about using it as a verb. basically... bitter.

 
glvsav37 said:
what are you doing now? still in advertising? 
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LOL! Well, I wish I could say yes. But, as a young feller I made a decision that I wasn't going to sell my soul to Madison Ave (commute, etc) and would instead cast my lot with the agencies out on The Isle of Long. As low man on the totem pole out there I got laid off and rehired enough to sour me on the business. I sold my soul to a fledgling business (that grew to become a major corporation) for the insurance, benefits, etc. Got involved in some web design to feed the creative itch. 36 years later I find myself looking back with some regret thinking what could have been, tempered by having the security of a pension, 401K, etc.  

 
I said I wanted to be a criminal defense attorney if I wasn't a professional baseball player since I was 8 years old and watched Matlock with my mom.  I'm now 3-0 in jury trials where my client is facing mandatory life in prison with no release/parole and have won dozens of other achieving a disproportionately favorable trial record. 

I wouldn't necessarily call it a "passion," however.  I just made sure I didn't screw up in school.  I made sure I got an internship right away with a defense firm/pdo. I worked hard and tried to learn what it takes to do the job (but it's not like I spent every waking moment focused on it). It's obviously going very well today. 

 
I graduated from high school and went to college thinking I was either going to be a coach or an athletic trainer.  After one year at Purdue I was "shuked" and then transferred to a small school in Michigan where i got my marketing degree and my PGA professional status.  Then spent a few years teaching and working in the pro shop and quit that to jump into technology for golf courses.  20 some years later I switched from golf to the weed business still doing tech/software.

 
urbanhack said:
I graduated from high school and went to college thinking I was either going to be a coach or an athletic trainer.  After one year at Purdue I was "shuked" and then transferred to a small school in Michigan where i got my marketing degree and my PGA professional status.  Then spent a few years teaching and working in the pro shop and quit that to jump into technology for golf courses.  20 some years later I switched from golf to the weed business still doing tech/software.
Click to expand...
what's yer handicap?

 
El Floppo said:
still bitter about this co-opting of the "architect" thing, if anybody cares. 
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I do.  Whenever I'm job-hunting, it's impossible to get accurate results looking for "architecture" or "developer".  It's usually all IT-related.

 
nirad3 said:
I do.  Whenever I'm job-hunting, it's impossible to get accurate results looking for "architecture" or "developer".  It's usually all IT-related.
Click to expand...
Yep. Last time I was looking, there were 10 or more of those ads for every architect ad. Search engines had a terrible time differentiating.

 
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