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How are you limiting your kid's device usage? (1 Viewer)

glvsav37

glvsav37

Footballguy
I'm thinking its time to start seriously limiting the device usage in the house. I have a 13 year old girl and 9 y/o boy.  Daughter is on it a decent amount but is normally talking to friends or managing her social fan accounts. But my son is using one constantly and is even doing normal things—like brushing his teeth this AM—with the ipad watching YouTube.

I need to put some restrictions in place, esp now that summer is almost here.

What are you guys doing with your kids? Household policies? Time limits? Burning all devices in the fire-pit and roasting marshmallows over them?

And yes, I'm a horrible father for letting it get this bad...we can just get that out of the way. Calling CPS on myself now.

 
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My son is going into his senior year in high school, and he still has to check in all his devices at 11pm on weeknights.  We also have him check his phone in when he’s studying for a big test. 

 
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We don't allow devices upstairs (bedrooms).

Apple gives me the ability to limit screen time - I have it set to off from 10PM to 6AM.  We also put limits on certain categories - e.g. Social Media 60 minutes per day - and we have blocked certain websites we felt were not appropriate.

Its a work in progress (my older daughter ditched her Instagram app and now accesses it via the web).  

 
My dog doesn’t have thumbs so I doubt she can use a smartphone, but I’m noticing toys and treats around the house that I didn’t buy nor did Mrs. O. I may have to throttle innerwebs access while we’re out during the day.

 
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Sinn Fein said:
We don't allow devices upstairs (bedrooms).

Apple gives me the ability to limit screen time - I have it set to off from 10PM to 6AM.  We also put limits on certain categories - e.g. Social Media 60 minutes per day - and we have blocked certain websites we felt were not appropriate.

Its a work in progress (my older daughter ditched her Instagram app and now accesses it via the web).  
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Screen Time is definitely the best for iphones.

Qustodio is really good for android.  It's only like $55/year and you can put on multiple devices.  You can put in all kinds restrictions on specific times and time limits for apps.  I think that minutes limits for apps are best, because it helps them learn how to manage through the day.  But you have to be prepared to keep that enforced despite whining.  I really think that limiting social media time is important for the girl.  My daughter just finished 8th grade and gets 15 minutes per weekday and 1 hour for each weekend day.  I think it has dramatically changed her behavior.  There are all kinds of other things that I could say (and other threads) on this, but social media probably affects middle school girls the most negatively.

I agree with keeping the phones out at night and also good to have times when the phone is physically taken away from them and other general down time where devices are not on.  

I could go on and on about my thoughts (and tons of mistakes that I made) in more detail, but that is generally what I think.  The effect of digital devices can be subtle and pervasive and the sooner and more restrictions put on it, the better.  I think that erring on the side of restriction is always going to be right (even if there can be individual cases made).

 
We have never put firm time limits on our kids. We tried with our older daughter and it seemed like the fights over limiting were worse for all of us. I have Xfinity and there was one night last month my 14 year was up gaming too late, I send  her a warning text to go to bed. She didn't comply, so I just shut the internet off from my phone to all her devices. She learned to save frequently and listen to me the first time. We trust our daughters to make good choices and they both have turned out amazing so far. 

Each kid is unique, so what works for one may not work for another, but most routers have parental controls you can set internet permission and schedules. 

 
Sinn Fein said:
We don't allow devices upstairs (bedrooms).

Apple gives me the ability to limit screen time - I have it set to off from 10PM to 6AM.  We also put limits on certain categories - e.g. Social Media 60 minutes per day - and we have blocked certain websites we felt were not appropriate.

Its a work in progress (my older daughter ditched her Instagram app and now accesses it via the web).  
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Plaid Boxer said:
Google wifi allows me to set schedules per person and device.
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this.  our 13 year old is very responsible, but will isolate sometimes.  we have adjusted her limits for summer.  

pluses and minuses.  we have been able to catch up on shows that have looked good over the years.... but still want to pull her back into family activities.

 
My kids got phones at 13yo.  From 8-10th grades, my kids put their phone on the kitchen counter at 9pm, up to 11pm on weekends.  For 11-12th grades it’s 10pm on school nights and 1am weekends - though I didn’t always enforce the 10pm limit for my second-semester senior last year. With Screen Time I don’t have them put phones on the counter anymore because Screen Time lets you select which functions are locked, and they use phones for alarm/music.

 
16 yr old and 15 yr old... We have no restrictions other than they can not take them upstairs to their bedrooms and they must surrender them on demand whenever we request it.  I sometimes regret not having greater time restrictions, because there are times when they are too attached.  The 15 yr old practically lives with ear buds in his ears.  I tend not to stress over it as long as they are handling their responsibilities.  Oldest son gets straight As, has been a 2-3 sport athlete (gave up baseball this year), competes on a robotics team, and has a job working at a car wash a few days per week.  Youngest son also gets straight As, is a year round swimmer, does robotics, works as a lifeguard at the neighborhood pool and helps coach the neighborhood swim team.  Yeah, it a little irritating when they spend 6-8 hours on their screens (they have xbox, chrombooks, and phones) for a given day when they are free, but most days they have other stuff going on that breaks up their usage.  As I type this, my oldest son is laying on the coach with his chromebook watching a video.  Whereas I grew up watching a lot of TV in the evenings, this is his version of "TV".  He is actually watching a math lecture simply because he loves math.  Don't get me wrong, he'll watch his share of nonsense too, but it is times like these that keep me from restricting too much.

 
Galileo said:
16 yr old and 15 yr old... We have no restrictions other than they can not take them upstairs to their bedrooms and they must surrender them on demand whenever we request it.  I sometimes regret not having greater time restrictions, because there are times when they are too attached.  The 15 yr old practically lives with ear buds in his ears.  I tend not to stress over it as long as they are handling their responsibilities.  Oldest son gets straight As, has been a 2-3 sport athlete (gave up baseball this year), competes on a robotics team, and has a job working at a car wash a few days per week.  Youngest son also gets straight As, is a year round swimmer, does robotics, works as a lifeguard at the neighborhood pool and helps coach the neighborhood swim team.  Yeah, it a little irritating when they spend 6-8 hours on their screens (they have xbox, chrombooks, and phones) for a given day when they are free, but most days they have other stuff going on that breaks up their usage.  As I type this, my oldest son is laying on the coach with his chromebook watching a video.  Whereas I grew up watching a lot of TV in the evenings, this is his version of "TV".  He is actually watching a math lecture simply because he loves math.  Don't get me wrong, he'll watch his share of nonsense too, but it is times like these that keep me from restricting too much.
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my 13 y/o is also a great student, plays basketball, dances, on the kickline team and was just inducted into the jr honor society. I got no problems with her overall screen time. She earned it.

My 9 y/o, he's a whole other story. Yes, he plays travel ice hockey and deck hocky, but aside from that, he's a real lazy student, hates to read, is lacking in many academic areas and has no desire to get better. When he could be out working on his shot, or just playing in general, he would rather sit inside and watch YT. He does enjoy STEM type activities, but they don't hold his attention long yet.

and i'm with you on YT. I fight with my wife on it, b/c i agree, it IS their television. I'll be honest, I'm not a big TV watcher, but my YT viewing has prob eclipsed my TV viewing. YT is the on-demand entertainment medium of the future. Unfortunately his YT watching usually is some video game channel or this one family that runs around screaming at the top of their lungs at each other for fun.

 
We have gotten to the point that the only way they can be on any technology (kindle, TV, XBox, etc.) is they have to ask first.  Once we tell them they have to get off, they are done.  Any continued begging or excessive whining leads to full day or multiple day bans.

We've had to get very strict with it this year as my 12 yr old son has become obsessed and will be on a screen 100% of the time if we let him. 

 
Kids are younger, 9-6-3, and we only have kindles for them. We set the kindle to deactivate before 7 am, after 8 pm, and have usage limits in place in between. 

They're forbidden at meals. If we have company over they're not to be used in whatever room we are in. 

 
So, I'm kind of new to ScreenTime.

Here's what I would like to do, and maybe someone can tell me if it's possible.

I'd like to put a 2-hour time limit on the phones.  The kids are able to do chores for an additional hour of time.  If they do 3 chores, it will unlock for the whole day.

I have 3 kids with phones.

I'm annoyed that I just can't approve an additional hour for all apps on the phone.  They have to request additional time for each individual app.

I wish I could just turn off wifi and cellular data.  I feel like it would make this much easier.

 
Lord of the Flies over here at the Casa de Pik. 

Lord of the Flies...

  On Monday through Thursday, my fourteen year old does schoolwork until noonish. Then he plays video games plays until three am typically.  He's getting about five hours of sleep a night, maybe a nap mid day.  He's getting about fourteen hours of gaming in on school days.  The weekends are closer to sixteen hours of gaming.  This all started the weekend before St. Patrick's day. 

   He has straight A's and picked up some sticks in the yard for fifteen minutes yesterday.  100% true story.

 
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PIK95 said:
Lord of the Flies over here at the Casa de Pik. 

Lord of the Flies...

  On Monday through Thursday, my fourteen year old does schoolwork until noonish. Then he plays video games plays until three am typically.  He's getting about five hours of sleep a night, maybe a nap mid day.  He's getting about fourteen hours of gaming in on school days.  The weekends are closer to sixteen hours of gaming.  This all started the weekend before St. Patrick's day. 

   He has straight A's and picked up some sticks in the yard for fifteen minutes yesterday.  100% true story.
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Ditto here although my 12 year old gets shut down at 11:00 (phone and tablet lock, TV gets powered down).  He is usually up around 9 gets his homework done and has to go for a walk (approx 1/2-1 mile) then it is on Xbox and Computer until 11:00. Rinse and repeat.  I can't complain because both the wife and I work, he is a straight A student and is trustworthy enough that I know he is getting his schoolwork done before he jumps on the xbox.  Plus, these days that is about the extent of his social time that he gets with his buddies.

 
I was all about limiting the screen time until quarantine happened.  Now, as long as the schoolwork and chores get done first (and we make sure to work in some non-screen family activities too), I’m not going to worry about It too much.

 
dino259 said:
Tell them to go outside.
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This. Also helps that I am mostly unemployed these days so we go for bike rides or make a fire or whatever. My kids are also only 6 and 8, so screen time isn't really a thing for them. Not that there aren't 6 and 8 year olds that spend a lot of time - it's just something that we have prioritized not allowing. Yes, we are those parents

 
I set no limits on any devices, but we are stuck in the 70's.  Rotary phone in kitchen only (but we did splurge for the long cord), one TV in living room (13 channels and no remote), bicycle, whiffle ball & bat, a deck of cards, record player, and a few board games.  Have fun, kids!

 
BigJohn said:
So, I'm kind of new to ScreenTime.

Here's what I would like to do, and maybe someone can tell me if it's possible.

I'd like to put a 2-hour time limit on the phones.  The kids are able to do chores for an additional hour of time.  If they do 3 chores, it will unlock for the whole day.

I have 3 kids with phones.

I'm annoyed that I just can't approve an additional hour for all apps on the phone.  They have to request additional time for each individual app.

I wish I could just turn off wifi and cellular data.  I feel like it would make this much easier.
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In the situation you described, I would simply collect the phones until the three chores are done. 

*my kids have no limit and seem to be turning out just fine. 

 
Cjw_55106 said:
In the situation you described, I would simply collect the phones until the three chores are done. 

*my kids have no limit and seem to be turning out just fine. 
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Yeah.  Figuring that out.  I'd just like to see some physical activity.  All 3 kids get awesome grades.  I'm not too worried.  Just got frustrated with trying to use Screen Time for what I thought would be a simple situation.

 
I'm not sure what happens Monday-Friday from 8am-ish until 4pm-ish.   My wife is at home with the kids (9 and 7).  I know they have about 1-2 hours' worth of "school work".  Sometimes more.  I know they play outside quite a bit.

But I also know the 9-year old girl is on her phone (yes, she has a phone... wife's old phone, not connected to network, just WiFi) quite a bit (watching YouTube, messaging friends on Facebook Messenger for Kids, playing games).  

The 7-year old boy has a Kindle Fire which he is on during the day, watching Minecraft-related YouTube videos.

Now, if either of them gets in trouble, the first thing to go is the device.  The boy's tablet is currently on time out (until the 16th) for various reasons.  

We probably don't do a good enough job regulating how much time they spend.  I'd guess that once they get a little older that the rules will be clearer.  

 
The 13 year old's gaming has gotten a little out of hand, but we aren't cracking down too much because that is how he talks to his basketball buddies that he can't see.  

Mostly it's an "earn the next day's usage" program that we started.  Do your schoolwork and prove it and unlock the next day's gaming.   He watches his 5 year old sister a lot during week as we both are still working and her daycare basically closed for a bit, so I don't ride him much on other tasks - that's quite the responsibility there.   However, unlocking more game time on the weekend requires a couple cleaning tasks and getting out for some exercise.  

For the 5 year old we now have ABC Mouse on a tablet, so she can do "schoolwork" while bro does his in the morning.   Besides that she's not watching stuff a ton, so I haven't had to police it too much.  Of course we will watch shows and movies, but she usually wants to go outside and run around or ride bike so it's not a huge issue there.  

 
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