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My boss isn't much of a talker. (1 Viewer)

Raptors409

Raptors409

Footballguy
I won't get into too much detail, but pretty much I recently started a new job on May 6th and my new boss is not much of a talker.

She'll pass by my desk in the morning and say hello, but then I literally don't hear from her the rest of the day.

She's very busy as this is a CPA office she owns that specializes in International Taxation, I'm just used to being buddy - buddy with the boss.

I'm thinking it might be a disconnect of being the opposite gender and 30 years younger than her. As it's easy to make small talk with your male boss about his favorite sports team.

I almost think she has some kind of small crush on me she avoids eye contact and almost comes across as nervous or awkward at times.

Every indication I get tells me that everyone is content with the job I'm doing, I think I'd just feel better if I had the boss in my back pocket.

My 90 days before becoming salary is on August 6th. If I make it past then, I'm just going to assume everything is fine and my boss is just somewhat introverted or too busy to care.

Anyone have any advice, stories, or words of wisdom? I'm having a terrible time reading this rich woman in her late 50s, early 60s.

 
belljr said:
I talk to my boss maybe once a week
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For me it’s a call every 2 weeks with the rest of my group scattered around FL. This is mandatory for him/us. Otherwise I rarely hear from him at all. It’s nice being quasi-autonomous.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
zamboni said:
Sounds like you’ve had a very social workplace in the past. The current situation you’re facing sounds reasonably  normal.
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:goodposting:  My manager has a cube 10 feet away but, other then work items that come up and the morning "how was your night/weekend",  we are busy working.
As you said, your boss isn't as close to you as mine so your interaction seems about normal.

Believe me, it is MUCH better then having a "helicopter" boss who micromanages everything you do. 

 
I only talk to my boss when there is an issue about something.  He's early 60's and I have nothing in common with him at all.  In fact, I have little to nothing in common with anyone I work with right now.  Just another reason I loathe coming to this place every M-F.

 
Just focus on doing good work and everything will work out.  Maybe she's quiet, or maybe she's waiting to see how you'll turn out before opening up, or maybe she likes you, or maybe she doesn't - you'll never get the answer to those questions now.  Work hard through Aug. 6, and then once you've passed that first hurdle, you may feel more comfortable approaching her with small talk.

 
As someone who manages several people, I'd rather you be working and ask me questions pertaining to work. Most days are so busy I don't have time for idle chit-chat.

Don't get me wrong - I'll be friendly with my people when the time arises and when the time is right, but they need to be working and so do I. 

I save my idle chit-chat for this message board.  :)

 
I'm a socially awkward person who gets nervous and avouds making eye contact when I have to talk to people I'm not used to. People I'm comfortable around, I'm much different. 

It has nothing to do with how she feels about you other than the fact that she probably isn't comfortable around you yet.

 
Cowboysfan8 said:
I wish my boss would shut up most days
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This. My boss is cute, about 37 and very good at her job. But she thinks EVERYTHING is a crisis. 

Most conversations start with ‘I’m worried about’ or ‘This isn’t good but...’. Most of these things are the normal stressors of a sales role. But everything is immediate and high stress for her. 

I told her ‘I would appreciate it if we didn’t start most of our conversations with ‘I’m worried’ but rather ‘Let’s figure this out.’  It’s helped immensely. 

 
My boss talks all day long. I call him out on it all the time when he mentions things take longer than they should. We have a good time, but he'll talk for 8 hours if you give him the chance. 

 
Side note, but my boss is also an idiot.  He just sent me an IM with his 3 steps to improve an application we have.  This is what he wrote word for word:

"Our priority needs to be something like this:

1. Get feedback from users

2. Develop great plan to improve it

3. Implement

What do you think?"

I think it's brilliant.  I was going to develop a good plan.  But a GREAT plan might be even better. 

It's like that joke where they say something like the steps to become a millionaire:  First, get a million dollars...

 
TheIronSheik said:
Side note, but my boss is also an idiot.  He just sent me an IM with his 3 steps to improve an application we have.  This is what he wrote word for word:

"Our priority needs to be something like this:

1. Get feedback from users

2. Develop great plan to improve it

3. Implement

What do you think?"

I think it's brilliant.  I was going to develop a good plan.  But a GREAT plan might be even better. 

It's like that joke where they say something like the steps to become a millionaire:  First, get a million dollars...
Click to expand...
Phase 1: Collect underpants

Phase 2: ?

Phase 3: Profit

 
TheIronSheik said:
She might be slightly on the spectrum.  I'd love to have a boss that didn't bother me all day.
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Starting to strongly think this or some type of anxiety may be the answer here.

I felt like I was making some progress last week. But the last 3-4 days has been back to me feeling like I'm invisible.

Which, I guess is fine. The office is full of all women besides me, so she's got her pick of her "gal pals" to chit chat with. So that definitely puts me at a disadvantage for socializing.

I still think it could be some of kind of weird crush type thing. I wore a muscle shirt arbitrarily a few weeks ago and she was SUPER nice and talkative with me that day.

In theory, I am the lowest accountant on the totem pole. I'm doing most of busy work / easy returns that. There's realistically probably not a need to talk to me.

But when I see her talking to everyone else on the office but me. It just feels uneasy. They keep giving me more responsibility, so I don't think my job isn't in jeopardy.

Just a weird work environment to be in. Used to having somebody (especially the boss) being buddy, buddy with me at work.

 
Raptors409 said:
Starting to strongly think this or some type of anxiety may be the answer here.

I felt like I was making some progress last week. But the last 3-4 days has been back to me feeling like I'm invisible.

Which, I guess is fine. The office is full of all women besides me, so she's got her pick of her "gal pals" to chit chat with. So that definitely puts me at a disadvantage for socializing.

I still think it could be some of kind of weird crush type thing. I wore a muscle shirt arbitrarily a few weeks ago and she was SUPER nice and talkative with me that day.

In theory, I am the lowest accountant on the totem pole. I'm doing most of busy work / easy returns that. There's realistically probably not a need to talk to me.

But when I see her talking to everyone else on the office but me. It just feels uneasy. They keep giving me more responsibility, so I don't think my job isn't in jeopardy.

Just a weird work environment to be in. Used to having somebody (especially the boss) being buddy, buddy with me at work.
Click to expand...
How old are you?

 
Raptors409 said:
Starting to strongly think this or some type of anxiety may be the answer here.

I felt like I was making some progress last week. But the last 3-4 days has been back to me feeling like I'm invisible.

Which, I guess is fine. The office is full of all women besides me, so she's got her pick of her "gal pals" to chit chat with. So that definitely puts me at a disadvantage for socializing.

I still think it could be some of kind of weird crush type thing. I wore a muscle shirt arbitrarily a few weeks ago and she was SUPER nice and talkative with me that day.

In theory, I am the lowest accountant on the totem pole. I'm doing most of busy work / easy returns that. There's realistically probably not a need to talk to me.

But when I see her talking to everyone else on the office but me. It just feels uneasy. They keep giving me more responsibility, so I don't think my job isn't in jeopardy.

Just a weird work environment to be in. Used to having somebody (especially the boss) being buddy, buddy with me at work.
Click to expand...
This isn't your Father's CPA office, this is today's Accounting office. New this Fall on Bravo....The Real Accountants of (the name of your city goes here)!

 
I once had a boss follow me to my car at the end of the day, but I don't think it qualified as stalking. 

 
How does the sexual harassment policy at a small accounting firm compare to a larger company?  Say a Walgreens.

 
The other day I wore a banana hammock to work with no shirt and the HR lady kept staring at me.  I think she has a thing for me.

 
mr fancypants said:
It's probably due to his age and/or experience, but the OP is really sounding like he is in need of some kind of self affirmation.
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True, but if what he says is accurate he hasn't gotten much if any commentary on his work for the 2+ months he's been there.  That's pretty unusual (and not, IMO, an undue cry for attention).

 
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