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Random Reasons You Know You're OLD (1 Viewer)

nirad3

Footballguy
I'll get right to the point:  I threw my back out reaching down to flush the toilet on Sunday afternoon.  Like BAD.  

I took 4 ibuprofen after I did it and it had no effect.

It was to the point where I considered going to the emergency room... the pain was that bad.

Ended up going to my doctor on Monday and they prescribed muscle relaxers, high-dose ibuprofen and (thank God) pain pills.  Also got an x-ray.  That was fun.

So I've been hopped up on multiple drugs the past day or so, and while it still hurts when I get in/out of bed or have to bend over, I'm better than I was on Sunday night.

So what are some random things you've noticed lately that prove that you are, in fact, an old geezer?

 
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It hit me the other week, when I went to a shoe store and realized it was the first time in my life where I made my purchase based on functionality over style.  

 
When you wake up from bed and multiple parts of your body ache.  You also notice creases in your skin that you never had.

Grey hair down there.

You get insulted by millenials who you consider rude.

 
functionally, i now get tired simply from moving past my aches to do everyday things

generationally, i can sit quietly for significant periods of time - the rarest and most necessary-to-well-being talent in modern humanity

ETA: also, for 60 yrs, i could biff anybody needed biffing without doubt or fear. i still look fwd to ops to str8en folks out, but i have to rely on ascerbics as much as aerobics

 
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My knees are shot.  I can't jump at all anymore, not even a little bit.  Sprinting, stopping and changing directions is very difficult and requires a solid 20 minutes of warm up before it is even possible.

 
Unless you teach college you are getting to the point where your students parents will have the same response. 
I do actually work in higher ed, and part of my job over the summer is to visit with parents at our new student orientation sessions.  Part of my real-life shtick at these events is to drop pop culture references from the 1980s and then thank the parents for actually understanding the reference.  Works like a charm.

 
I once saw a flat brim being worn backwards with the sticker still on.   Never more angry in my life.
The worst is a youth league baseball player wearing a flat brim with the sticker still on for games and practices.  I made all my players remove that sticker immediately.  Terrible

 
I went on my 5 day lake trip (kneeboarding, water-skiing, tubing, etc.)  this past week.  I always leave that trip sore for 1-2 days...  but it's Wednesday and I can still barely move.. (mowing the lawn yesterday and trimming legit hurt).

I'm also at risk for throwing my back out with something as simple as putting on my socks while standing up.

 
Was talking about some stuff at work and someone used the quote of "you're either on the bus or off the bus" - but didn't know where it came from. I work with a bunch of young IT people - so I explained the Electric Kool Aid Acid Test and the Pranksters. I had told them I was on the bus - Furthur2. These kids didn't know Thom Wolfe. (Hell didn't even know about Right Stuff) Or Ken Kesey. I talked about Neal Cassady and I explained the Dean Moriarty character in On the Road - none knew Kerouac.  I told them about hitchiking around country following the Dead. It was like I was from a different planet. I felt very sorry for them. 

 
When my son tells me about pop culture references that makes, that people younger than him don't get.

 
Getting bent out of shape when the AM radio talk show I like gets moved to a different time slot or cancelled. 

 
I made a Young Guns reference and my niece looked at me like I had two heads. 

I responded with “why exactly do you think Emilio Estevez is famous?”

She asked who Emilio Estevez is.  
I had a similar experience when I recently made a Huey Lewis reference at work.  Twenty-something year old coworker just stared at me blankly and asked, “Who?”

 
I do actually work in higher ed, and part of my job over the summer is to visit with parents at our new student orientation sessions.  Part of my real-life shtick at these events is to drop pop culture references from the 1980s and then thank the parents for actually understanding the reference.  Works like a charm.
Also being in higher ed ...several years back I found myself taking an interest in some of the moms of the students. 

Another way I know I'm old: I have a spreadsheet with retirement investment numbers listed.  If I play around with the numbers, I find that not much changes over my remaining work years.  In a sense, that's a good thing ...just glad I maxed out on the company's (university's) retirement match over the past decades.  

 
I have a 14-year old son. He makes me feel like I'm old every single day. 

I'm 49. That's not old, right guys? Right? 

 
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I was checking out at the grocery store and the clerk asked me if I wanted the Senior Discount!  My wife died laughing! I am 56 and the grey is showing.
Take it dude. Makes up for the we id everyone lady in the same store who gives out free samples of booze. 

 
OK.. had a work conference call the other day and we had 4 "Interns" on the call...  all in mid 20's.  We discussed a hazard due to it's acid nature, and they all were like "it's been 5 years since I took high school chemistry!"... .. I replied ... I took HS Chemistry in 1980.  They shut up. 

 
Up by 6 at 3 am to go to the bathroom!  
Fixed.  :kicksrock:

Probably another sign of being old: My wife and I sleep in separate rooms.  I have restless legs, and she has sensitive ears/everything.  It's easier to just sleep in another room where I can rock and roll as necessary and not worry about her complaints.  We do have occasional sleep-overs.   :pickle:

 
I tweeked my knee doing a cannonball into the pool a couple weeks ago.  my kids love it when I cannonball in and they were sad when I told them it was never going to happen again because I'm too old

 

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