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Wife rant (1 Viewer)

shadyridr said:
I leave for work at 630am. My wife leaves at 715 to drive my son to camp and then heads to work.

7:15 I get a call (CALL #1) that the tire sensor on her car is low. I say ok, goto gas station and fill it with air.

15 min later she calls again (CALL #2) and says she thinks she may have a flat, she'll bring it to station to repair and just be late to work. I said ok.

15 min later I get another call (CALL #3) to tell me there is an hour wait. I said ok you have no choice unless you want to wait for roadside assistance later.

Hour later she calls (CALL #4) and says of course its not that simple. They can't take tire off (not sure what the issue was, I didn't care). They can try and repair tire while its still on the car but have to bring back car to fix the issue because its going to be 2 hours to fix. She starts yelling at ME that she has no way of getting home (I am at work) if she leaves it, she now has to take an unplanned day off work, why cant I do it tomorrow (I took off tomorrow because my son doesn't have camp). I said, ok so you want ME to take it tomorrow and wait 2 hours with our son because I wont have any way to get home either (since she will be at work). I told her we will either bring it back in on Saturday or take an Uber home.

She hangs up disgusted at ME because she has to take the day off work.

So somehow a flat tire on MY WIFE'S car turned into 4 phone calls and her being pissed at ME all before 9am today! Yay me!
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Congratulations on your marriage.  I assume that happened recently if you’re shocked at this development. 

 
Andy Dufresne said:
Pro tip #1 - tows count against you IRT things like safe driver discounts.

I had three tows (car totaled in accident, daughter in ditch, no master "key" for tire nut) in three months and lost my discount because of it. 

Pro tip #2 - When buying a used car that requires a "key" to get the nut off your tire, ensure it comes with the car when you buy it. Otherwise you're looking at getting it towed to an authorized dealer that has a master key.

Pro tip #3 - When talking to an irritated female, the correct response is "Wow, I can understand why you're angry." Then await further instruction.
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I guess i've only used mine for flat tire changes and not towing. Never noticed losing any discounts. Could vary by insurance company.

 
Son #1 and I are sporting fresh cuts.  Son #2 stayed home with his mop top.  He has a swim meet tonight that my wife will be taking him to.  I have a poker game to attend and will be skipping this meet.  So, at least I have some time before I will need to listen to her about it.  I will just tell her the barber only had openings in his schedule while while son #2 was at swim practice, so we went without him.

 
Bull Dozier said:
stbugs said:
I’m not surprised she’s emotionally attached, but am shocked she didn’t even bring it up. That small school isn’t going to be able to pay her that much, but I can understand your shock that she didn’t even consider a 50% raise. That is a huge jump. Reminds me of my wife switching from a crappy defense contractor to a huge tech company almost 3 years ago. Total compensation for her first four years is about a 170% jump. Completely life changing for us. I’ve got son 1 going to college in the Fall and two more so 12 years to pay for in the next 10. I honestly don’t know how I would have handled that without that change because as a two income family we were in that middle class area of not wealthy enough to not need aid and make too much to really get anything besides crappy loans.

 If my wife passed that up because she was working with one of her best friends, I would have flipped out knowing the difference it would have made.
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 TBD, but I don't know that she didn't consider it.  I think she may have, at least to some degree.  She just made the decision and turned it down before talking to me.  She came home frustrated with work and just threw a bunch of stuff at me at once.  This was one of the many things.  I didn't have 382 consecutive hours to actually get into the specifics of all her issues of the moment, so we didn't dive as deep into this one as I wanted.
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What I don’t get is why interview for another Principal job at all?

I can see saying I’ll talk to them and see what happens but I’m not switching unless it’s at least an xx% bump, but that number probably wouldn’t be higher than 50%. 

And even THEN, how about discuss all this with your spouse?! Maybe that the decision in the end anyway but at least talk to me about it. 

 
An argument or discussion usually ends (or so i thought) by me saying "yes honey, that is correct" or something similar.  Knowing I am wrong or right, it doesn't matter.  I just want it to end.  So I say it.  But then it just keeps on going and keeps on going and keeps on going.....

It'll be an hour later, and she will bring it up again, how I screwed up, or didn't do this or that.  It never friggin ends....

Sometimes I have no clue what she's talking about because the initial conversation was an hour or two ago.

 
Johnny Rock said:
What I don’t get is why interview for another Principal job at all?

I can see saying I’ll talk to them and see what happens but I’m not switching unless it’s at least an xx% bump, but that number probably wouldn’t be higher than 50%. 

And even THEN, how about discuss all this with your spouse?! Maybe that the decision in the end anyway but at least talk to me about it. 
Click to expand...
A little more detail trickling in.

She didn't actually interview for the job.  The principal at the new school is her predecessor at her current school, so they know each other.

The "offer" came from two different conversations.  The first was a month ago when his assistant principal quit.  He asked her if she wanted to be an assistant principal.  She laughed it off.

Yesterday they had another conversation and he mentioned the starting pay (50% higher than what she makes now).  Today she says it wasn't an offer technically, so I told her to call him back and see what she needs to do to be considered.

to be continued...

 
Bull Dozier said:
A little more detail trickling in.

She didn't actually interview for the job.  The principal at the new school is her predecessor at her current school, so they know each other.

The "offer" came from two different conversations.  The first was a month ago when his assistant principal quit.  He asked her if she wanted to be an assistant principal.  She laughed it off.

Yesterday they had another conversation and he mentioned the starting pay (50% higher than what she makes now).  Today she says it wasn't an offer technically, so I told her to call him back and see what she needs to do to be considered.

to be continued...
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Salary aside, principals never want to move back into assistant principal roles.  

 
Andy Dufresne said:
Pro tip #3 - When talking to an irritated female, the correct response is "Wow, I can understand why you're angry." Then await further instruction.
Click to expand...
Reflective listening: just repeat what they said using 1/1000th the verbiage and tack on an acknowledgement of their emotions. Under no circumstances should you introduce logic into the equation.

 
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General Malaise said:
My wife and I won't call each other unless it's an absolute necessity or an emergency.  Text/email only.  That way we both know to answer if either of us calls; must be important.  You guys that take daily phone calls from your spouse confuse and baffle me.  
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This is smart. You can’t enable too many “emergencies”. 

I take it a step further and leave my phone at home/off sometimes. 

 
Galileo said:
Salary aside, principals never want to move back into assistant principal roles.  
Click to expand...
Sweeping generalizations are never true.  :rimshot:

A principal that is located at a financially struggling small school who hasn't had a significant raise in three years would move to an assistant principal role if it meant a 50% pay raise and more job security.

 
Johnny Rock said:
What I don’t get is why interview for another Principal job at all?

I can see saying I’ll talk to them and see what happens but I’m not switching unless it’s at least an xx% bump, but that number probably wouldn’t be higher than 50%. 

And even THEN, how about discuss all this with your spouse?! Maybe that the decision in the end anyway but at least talk to me about it. 
Click to expand...
Yep. That’s such a big number that it’s one of those, wow I wasn’t really even thinking of leaving but damn a 50% raise is huge. That’s a game changing offer where it doesn’t matter how attached you are to your current job. Based on @Bull Dozier‘s post, he’s not making so much that his wife’s income doesn’t matter and this doesn’t appear to be any other type of crazy scenario (like a huge job offer from Blockbuster 5 years ago). 

 
Don't Toews Me said:
As a single dude, I can't believe some of these stories......pretty funny stuff. 
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Not single in the least, but also not married. 10 years together, 8 living together. I love the married guys of FBG's bc I've been sending her links to threads like this for years and we laugh about it and use it as a reality check. Our conversations about why we think so many people live like this, to the point where it's culturally normal, are always interesting. 

Idk if we'll always be this way. I hope so and think that what we're best at is communicating and being on the same page. But for now I consider laughing at threads like this to be pre-emptive deprogramming for both of us, reminders not to fall into these roles. 

 
Terminalxylem said:
This is smart. You can’t enable too many “emergencies”. 

I take it a step further and leave my phone at home/off sometimes. 
Click to expand...
You intentionally leave your phone at home?  :lol:  

 
doowain said:
As not a single dude, I can't believe some of the stories from my single buddies.....pretty funny (and often depressing) stuff.
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Indeed. Some funny stories on both sides......my other single friends stories can be fairly hilarious but also leave me shaking my head at times

 
Man... I'm glad my wife can do sh!t.  She's currently putting fake wood floors (vinyl plank) throughout her mom's old house so she can then act as a realtor and sell it to save them on commission.

 
  • Smile
Reactions: Ned
it comes with the marriage territory, everything is a crisis.

the other night I left my phone charging in the kitchen while I was in the living room watching TV. apparently I missed a text from my wife while it was charging. when she walked in the door, it went like this:

her:  you didn't get my text?
me:  my phone is charging in the kitchen
her:  you shouldn't do that! what if it was an emergency! what if I was stranded, or lost, or in trouble!
me:  and yet here you are...

 
Terminalxylem said:
Yep. But it’s not to avoid my wife. Just don’t think it’s necessary all the time. The dreaded “what if there’s an emergency” concept is overblown, IMO, and I like being untethered from technology.
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Can't imagine thinking like this. I'm not paranoid in the least, but I'd hate to think if someone I loved had an emergency, I wouldn't know about it or be able to help because I was being stubborn and yearning for the good old days. There are tons of real downsides to having a phone on you all the time. Being available for emergencies isn't one of them. 

Nevermind the possibility that it might be you who has the emergency and needs to call someone. Just seems like needless pushback against technology--there are much more productive ways to channel that need imo. But again, that's just me. 

 
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ConnSKINS26 said:
Can't imagine thinking like this. I'm not paranoid in the least, but I'd hate to think if someone I loved had an emergency, I wouldn't know about it or be able to help because I was being stubborn and yearning for the good old days. There are tons of real downsides to having a phone on you all the time. Being available for emergencies isn't one of them. 

Nevermind the possibility that it might be you who has the emergency and needs to call someone. Just seems like needless pushback against technology--there are much more productive ways to channel that need imo. But again, that's just me. 
Click to expand...
Thankfully you weren't born in the 60'ies or 70'ies

 
ConnSKINS26 said:
Can't imagine thinking like this. I'm not paranoid in the least, but I'd hate to think if someone I loved had an emergency, I wouldn't know about it or be able to help because I was being stubborn and yearning for the good old days. There are tons of real downsides to having a phone on you all the time. Being available for emergencies isn't one of them. 

Nevermind the possibility that it might be you who has the emergency and needs to call someone. Just seems like needless pushback against technology--there are much more productive ways to channel that need imo. But again, that's just me. 
Click to expand...
Fair enough. But true emergencies require ambulances, police officers and firefighters, not everyday Joes. Most everything else can wait for ones input. And it’s not like personal cell phones are the only mode of communication.

I think cell phones are very useful, but their existence has given us a collective sense of urgency and need for instant gratification/immediate feedback. How many true emergencies has your cell helped to stave off, where alternative communication wasn’t possible and you meaningfully impacted the situation?

And to clarify, I have my phone most, but not all of the time. I don’t have kids and both my parents are deceased, and my closest family member is 5000 miles away. So my situation may be very different than yours and the guy getting berated by his wife while charging his phone in the next room.

 
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msommer said:
Thankfully you weren't born in the 60'ies or 70'ies
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This isn't logical. Cell phones didn't exist back then, so you weren't taking a risk by not having them. They also didn't have airbags in the 60's, it doesn't mean you're some kind of noble rebel not to have them today, or to ignore other advancements that have made living today safer. 

There are plenty of things we didn't have or know back then that would be downright irresponsible to ignore now. 

People can do what they want. I was simply saying that for me, it's not worth the risk that my loved ones may have an actual emergency. I don't value the potential safety of the people who depend on me below my arbitrary freedom to stick it to the man for a few hours at a time. I can limit my dependence on technology in other, more effective ways.

The "what if there's an emergency concept" as he called it probably IS overblown, on the whole. Until that one time it isn't and you're unavailable when you "should" have been. No thanks. Just like needing different kinds of insurance is overblown...until you need it. 

I'd even argue that it would be better to not have a phone at all than to do what he does. At least then people know what to expect from you--you aren't an emergency contact option. But to usually have a phone on you and then once in a while get a wild hair and purposely leave it at home out of some rebellious need? Nah

 
Terminalxylem said:
Fair enough. But true emergencies require ambulances, police officers and firefighters, not everyday Joes. Most everything else can wait for ones input. And it’s not like personal cell phones are the only mode of communication.

I think cell phones are very useful, but their existence has given us a collective sense of urgency and need for instant gratification/immediate feedback. How many true emergencies has your cell helped to stave off, where alternative communication wasn’t possible and you meaningfully impacted the situation?

And to be clarify, I have my phone most, but not all of the time. I don’t have kids and both my parents are deceased, and my closest family member is 5000 miles away. So my situation may be very different than yours and the guy getting berated by his wife while charging his phone in the next room.
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This is much more understandable. Geographically you aren't giving anyone any help beyond advice via a phone call, and your friends probably have someone closer to call. So it's less of an issue. 

 
Maik Jeaunz said:
it comes with the marriage territory, everything is a crisis.

the other night I left my phone charging in the kitchen while I was in the living room watching TV. apparently I missed a text from my wife while it was charging. when she walked in the door, it went like this:

her:  you didn't get my text?
me:  my phone is charging in the kitchen
her:  you shouldn't do that! what if it was an emergency! what if I was stranded, or lost, or in trouble!
me:  and yet here you are...
Click to expand...
If it was an emergency I would assume one would place a phone call before sending a text. 

 
ConnSKINS26 said:
This isn't logical. Cell phones didn't exist back then, so you weren't taking a risk by not having them. They also didn't have airbags in the 60's, it doesn't mean you're some kind of noble rebel not to have them today, or to ignore other advancements that have made living today safer. 

There are plenty of things we didn't have or know back then that would be downright irresponsible to ignore now. 

People can do what they want. I was simply saying that for me, it's not worth the risk that my loved ones may have an actual emergency. I don't value the potential safety of the people who depend on me below my arbitrary freedom to stick it to the man for a few hours at a time. I can limit my dependence on technology in other, more effective ways.

The "what if there's an emergency concept" as he called it probably IS overblown, on the whole. Until that one time it isn't and you're unavailable when you "should" have been. No thanks. Just like needing different kinds of insurance is overblown...until you need it. 

I'd even argue that it would be better to not have a phone at all than to do what he does. At least then people know what to expect from you--you aren't an emergency contact option. But to usually have a phone on you and then once in a while get a wild hair and purposely leave it at home out of some rebellious need? Nah
Click to expand...
Well, at least you don't want you loved ones to be independent and solve their issues themselves, so there is that...

 
Terminalxylem said:
Fair enough. But true emergencies require ambulances, police officers and firefighters, not everyday Joes. Most everything else can wait for ones input. And it’s not like personal cell phones are the only mode of communication.

I think cell phones are very useful, but their existence has given us a collective sense of urgency and need for instant gratification/immediate feedback. How many true emergencies has your cell helped to stave off, where alternative communication wasn’t possible and you meaningfully impacted the situation?

And to be clarify, I have my phone most, but not all of the time. I don’t have kids and both my parents are deceased, and my closest family member is 5000 miles away. So my situation may be very different than yours and the guy getting berated by his wife while charging his phone in the next room.
Click to expand...
But that's something in your control.   This reminds me of the person that pays stuff at the store with check b/c they can't control their credit card spending.   Just today I was glad I had my cellphone at work b/c it allowed me to watch the british open.   

 
msommer said:
Well, at least you don't want you loved ones to be independent and solve their issues themselves, so there is that...
Click to expand...
Not remotely related to what I said. I said emergency. Idk what that means for everyone but for me that's something you don't want to be out of the loop on if you care about the person. Not a flat tire or a bad day. I'm surrounded by pretty self-sufficient people. 

 
ConnSKINS26 said:
Not remotely related to what I said. I said emergency. Idk what that means for everyone but for me that's something you don't want to be out of the loop on if you care about the person. Not a flat tire or a bad day. I'm surrounded by pretty self-sufficient people. 
Click to expand...
So they know to call 911 in a real emergency insted of dad/spouse/whatnot. That's good. 

 
Bull Dozier said:
No kidding, right?  Of course she just told me this last night, and apparently turned it down over two weeks ago.  I was really too much in shock to have a discussion about it.  Not sure if she can go back and see if it has been filled yet.  More discussion tonight.

She's a principal at a small private school  It's the same school she went to as a kid, same church she went to as a kid, same church our kids were baptized at.  Same school our kids went to Pre-K through 8th grade.  She is too emotionally tied to the school to think logically about it.
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Just wondering.  Is she a hoarder?

 
I work about a block away from a grocery store.  My wife has a thing for this fancy bread - like $7/loaf stuff - that is made locally.  She calls me this morning and asks/tells me to see if the fancy bread is at the grocery.  I tell her I'm busy with work and will try to get there in the next hour.  Silence.  So I head over right quick.  No bread.  She calls me again this afternoon saying she's sure the bread is there because they usually deliver it at 1:30 so go check, now.  She then says she only wants the bread with berries or fruit and to not buy anything else.  I get there and there's only one loaf of this wheat bread left.  I send a text - no bread - as I'm walking back to the office.  I get back to the office and she calls, asking "Was there any bread?"  I say "Not with berries or fruit. Only some wheat bread"  In a huff, she says "Go buy the wheat bread!"

Three trips to the grocery store for one loaf of the wrong bread and I'm still in the dog house.  

 
Gally said:
Nobody was conditioned to the need it now world of today so there were no "emergencies". 
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I don't know, I think there were plenty of emergencies, just as many per capita as today, only no one other than the first responders could deal with them anyway so it wasn't an issue

 
msommer said:
I don't know, I think there were plenty of emergencies, just as many per capita as today, only no one other than the first responders could deal with them anyway so it wasn't an issue
Click to expand...
I was not talking about emergencies.....I was talking about "emergencies"

 
Mookie said:
I work about a block away from a grocery store.  My wife has a thing for this fancy bread - like $7/loaf stuff - that is made locally.  She calls me this morning and asks/tells me to see if the fancy bread is at the grocery.  I tell her I'm busy with work and will try to get there in the next hour.  Silence.  So I head over right quick.  No bread.  She calls me again this afternoon saying she's sure the bread is there because they usually deliver it at 1:30 so go check, now.  She then says she only wants the bread with berries or fruit and to not buy anything else.  I get there and there's only one loaf of this wheat bread left.  I send a text - no bread - as I'm walking back to the office.  I get back to the office and she calls, asking "Was there any bread?"  I say "Not with berries or fruit. Only some wheat bread"  In a huff, she says "Go buy the wheat bread!"

Three trips to the grocery store for one loaf of the wrong bread and I'm still in the dog house.  
Click to expand...
Good god.

 
I believe one of the main responsibilities of being a good parent is raising kids to think and be independent. As such, most of the time on week long fishing trips to Canada I don’t talk to my wife or kids at all. They know I love them. They’re good. We text once in a while or call if it’s something important, but they’ll be ok and it teaches them that they don’t need to rely on me to solve their problems.

 
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Mookie said:
I work about a block away from a grocery store.  My wife has a thing for this fancy bread - like $7/loaf stuff - that is made locally.  She calls me this morning and asks/tells me to see if the fancy bread is at the grocery.  I tell her I'm busy with work and will try to get there in the next hour.  Silence.  So I head over right quick.  No bread.  She calls me again this afternoon saying she's sure the bread is there because they usually deliver it at 1:30 so go check, now.  She then says she only wants the bread with berries or fruit and to not buy anything else.  I get there and there's only one loaf of this wheat bread left.  I send a text - no bread - as I'm walking back to the office.  I get back to the office and she calls, asking "Was there any bread?"  I say "Not with berries or fruit. Only some wheat bread"  In a huff, she says "Go buy the wheat bread!"

Three trips to the grocery store for one loaf of the wrong bread and I'm still in the dog house.  
Click to expand...
To bad they don't .. never mind... Didn't realize the filter was controlled by six year olds that giggle at basic anatomical words.

 
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My wife is perfect.

Also, I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me.

 
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Galileo said:
I am debating whether or not to piss my wife off today.  She wants son #2 to get a haircut.  Son #2 does not want to get a haircut.  Although he desperately could use a haircut, I told my wife why bother getting bent out of shape about a teenager's hair.  It's just not worth it in my book.  Let him have his hair the way he wants.  It won't last.  She emphatically said "HE NEEDS TO GET HIS HAIR CUT".  So, today is pretty much only available time we have for the next week and a half.  Myself and son #1 are going for haircuts.  I am seriously considering leaving son #2 behind.  If I do, it won't be pretty...
Click to expand...
I fight this with my wife over my 14 year old.  He's a good kid, but wants his hair a bit longer than the wife likes.  The talk about haircuts is prevalent.  I respond that he should be able to enjoy his hair while he has it and remind her what her father's genes will cause.  It's an unassailable point, which makes her even a bit more emphatic about the whole thing.

 
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