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A letter arrived in the mail today addressed to my sister. The name and address were supplied with a label (not hand written). My wife thought it was an invitation to this family reunion we have coming up and they just put the wrong name...so she opened it. I kind of wish she hadn’t because I have no idea what to make of this or what to do.  

Here is what it said:

Dearest (oldmanhawkins’ sister),

I simply want to offer support to you and your beautiful children. Have faith in yourself and in family and friends around you. I know the road ahead is rough but you are a very strong woman who can do anything alone. You are a strong woman who knows what’s best for her and her children and knows how valuable she is. Unfortunately you have someone in your path who does now know your value and has preferred infidelities and various affairs over his family. He does not appreciate you or your family. It is dreadful to see and know the dishonesties he has had during your relationship and marriage. You do not deserve that or him. As your friends and family we are here to fully support you and your family. There is nothing you cannot do. We have always been proud of the woman you are and know that you will have a better future with a trustworthy person who loves you and your family. Everything is easier said than done but there is a light at the end of the tunnel, your happiness.

There was no name.  No return address. Who could have sent this? Why’d they send it to me?  What do I do with it?  I will supply more details as needed.

 

Edited by oldmanhawkins

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Did they deliver it to the wrong or correct address per what was printed on the label? 

Edited by rockaction

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7 minutes ago, oldmanhawkins said:

What do I do with it?

Sleep with the recipient ... wait ... nevermind ... :doh:

Do you have any reason to believe this could be credible? What do you think of your BIL?

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1 minute ago, Man of Constant Sorrow said:

Sleep with the recipient ... wait ... nevermind ... :doh:

Do you have any reason to believe this could be credible? What do you think of your BIL?

My initial reaction...thought there was a 0% chance he’d cheat. The more I’ve thought about it the more I’ve been able to imagine a scenario where he has. Good guy, works a lot, has been under a lot of stress at work over the past couple of years.

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Perhaps it was sent to your address so that the husband wouldn’t get to it before your sister had a chance to read it. Can you just put it in a new envelope, put her name on it but your address again, send it to yourself, and then tell her that you received mail with her name on it?

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Some more background that may or may not be relevant.

my sister and BIL met while she was working on her PhD. She was married at the time and he was engaged.  

BIL comes from a very conservative religious family but he is atheist.  

The letter was postmarked in Harrisburg, not far from where he grew up.

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4 minutes ago, oldmanhawkins said:

My initial reaction...thought there was a 0% chance he’d cheat. The more I’ve thought about it the more I’ve been able to imagine a scenario where he has. Good guy, works a lot, has been under a lot of stress at work over the past couple of years.

OK. So, this is possible.

Also, after reading the letter again, it sounds like it could be a reply to your sister by someone who has been informed ... not an informer. Like she is getting support.  At first, I read it as new info to your sis. Now, I am not sure.

How do you read it? Could your sis already know and just be keeping it secret?

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1 minute ago, Man of Constant Sorrow said:

OK. So, this is possible.

Also, after reading the letter again, it sounds like it could be a reply to your sister by someone who has been informed ... not an informer. Like she is getting support.  At first, I read it as new info to your sis. Now, I am not sure.

How do you read it? Could your sis already know and just be keeping it secret?

I had a similar reaction...initially thought it was informing her but then realizing that from the jump the writer assumes her knowledge and offers support. If so, why send it to me? Did they want me to read it?  If so, why put her name? 

If he was having an affair (and I’d still put the odds near zero but suspicion is unfortunately creeping in) I’d say it was highly likely she wouldn’t share that info. She can be very private with that sort of thing. This fact more than anything makes me think the note might be legit. But there are other explanations too.

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9 minutes ago, ffweasel said:

Perhaps it was sent to your address so that the husband wouldn’t get to it before your sister had a chance to read it. Can you just put it in a new envelope, put her name on it but your address again, send it to yourself, and then tell her that you received mail with her name on it?

Would it be best to just send it off like I never read it? I don’t want to intrude on someone’s privacy like that but if something did happen shouldn’t I somehow offer support?

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I'm not sure what the play is here to be honest. I read the note at first as a "spill the beans" letter, then I saw the comments that maybe your sister already knew and I was swayed by that. I think you can give her the letter and say you're sorry you opened it and then leave it at that. 

I dunno: Not a good situation to be in.  

Edited by rockaction
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I would pass it on to your sister and tell her the truth. It was mailed to you by mistake. It was opened with no ill intentions.

I once kept quiet in a similar situation. In the long run, I wish that I had just been open from the beginning. 

Edited by Man of Constant Sorrow
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This was written by your parents and came to you on purpose so you would know what is going on.

Tomorrow, go to the liquor store. Buy a 6 pack of tall boys. The ones that still use the 6 pack holders. Go to your sisters house and invite your brother in law outside for a drink.

Pull one off for you. Open the can and take a long swig.

Ask him: “you want one”?

When he says yes, swing that 5 pack over your head like a helicopter and throw it at his balls. As he is cringing on the ground, spit at his feet and say:

”This is for my sister you cheating sonofabeeyitch. I’ve only just begun.” 

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38 minutes ago, oldmanhawkins said:

Some more background that may or may not be relevant.

my sister and BIL met while she was working on her PhD. She was married at the time and he was engaged.  

BIL comes from a very conservative religious family but he is atheist.  

The letter was postmarked in Harrisburg, not far from where he grew up.

I’m betting it’s his ex-fiancée. 

Edited by Henry Ford
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26 minutes ago, oldmanhawkins said:

Would it be best to just send it off like I never read it? I don’t want to intrude on someone’s privacy like that but if something did happen shouldn’t I somehow offer support?

You don’t want to throw yourself in the middle of it, but if it was my sister I guess I would let her know what happened and leave it to her if she wants to talk about it. 

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4 minutes ago, cap'n grunge said:

Who communicates like that? Sounds like a possible scam or prank to me.

The “who” has me shuked.

How could it be a scam? Perhaps she has received letters and then sending it to me has taken it up a notch? 

The religious overtones (“have faith”) made me think it could be from one of his family members. I only know his father and sister. Met his mom once. All three are very religious. LDS I think? 

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4 minutes ago, bradyfan said:

Sounds like chain mail.

Yeah, that's what I was thinking. For what purpose who knows.

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2 minutes ago, Henry Ford said:

I’m betting it’s his ex-fiancée. 

This was my first thought. Someone trying to stir something up. But how would she get my address? 

why would anyone send an actual letter anyway? Wouldn’t an anonymous email work just fine? 

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2 minutes ago, cap'n grunge said:

Yeah, that's what I was thinking. For what purpose who knows.

Like the stuff knights wear?  Haha.  But wouldn’t a chain letter ask that I forward it or something?

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Just now, oldmanhawkins said:

About 6 years.

They have two kids, 1 and 4. 

 

Then ex-fiancee might be a good call.

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5 minutes ago, Rustoleum said:

This would go right where my grade school teachers put homework papers with no name on them - right in the trash.

Because you doubt its legitimacy or because you want to stay out of others business?

Edited by oldmanhawkins

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More I look at it, maybe some awkward dude that has a crush on her? Secret admirer? If so maybe he didn't know her address and googled it and assumed yours was hers?

Edited by cap'n grunge
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5 minutes ago, oldmanhawkins said:

The note was typed. A few weird spacing issues that makes me think it may have been someone older.  

It started “ I simply   want to offer support”

And by support I mean for you to come live in the pit behind my remote cabin in the woods.

Edited by cap'n grunge
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I have no idea what to do in this situation.

But I do have a new idea for "Shtick you use in real life". Thanks.

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1 hour ago, oldmanhawkins said:

This was my first thought. Someone trying to stir something up. But how would she get my address? 

why would anyone send an actual letter anyway? Wouldn’t an anonymous email work just fine? 

Two years ago I got a group text that was sent to several dozen people about a distant cousin of mine.  The sender was his ex wife, whom he hadn’t been with in several years.  She decided to tell us all he had cheated on her with a stripper and given her herpes several years earlier, she had taken him back, and then he cheated on her again. 

People carry stuff around. They let it out in weird ways. 

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6 hours ago, oldmanhawkins said:

A letter arrived in the mail today addressed to my sister. The name and address were supplied with a label (not hand written). My wife thought it was an invitation to this family reunion we have coming up and they just put the wrong name...so she opened it. I kind of wish she hadn’t because I have no idea what to make of this or what to do.  Here is what it said:

Dearest (oldmanhawkins’ sister),

I simply want to offer support to you and your beautiful children. I know the road ahead is rough but you are a very strong woman who can do anything alone. You are a strong woman who knows what’s best for her and her children and knows how valuable she is. Unfortunately you have someone in your path who does now know your value and has preferred infidelities and various affairs over his family. He does not appreciate you or your family. It is dreadful to see and know the dishonesties he has had during your relationship and marriage. You do not deserve that or him. As your friends and family we are here to fully support you and your family. There is nothing you cannot do. We have always been proud of the woman you are and know that you will have a better future with a trustworthy person who loves you and your family. Everything is easier said than done but there is a light at the end of the tunnel, your happiness. Have faith in yourself and in family and friends around you. 

There was no name.  No return address. Who could have sent this? Why’d they send it to me?  What do I do with it?  I will supply more details as needed.

 

99% chance it's a chain letter.  Ignore it.

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5 hours ago, oldmanhawkins said:

The note was typed. A few weird spacing issues that makes me think it may have been someone older.  

It started “ I simply   want to offer support”

No one who wants to offer support does it anonymously.

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Toss it.

If it doesn't have your name on it. Don't open it.

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The internet can make it pretty easy to find addresses of relatives.  Good chance you aren’t the only one who received a copy of this letter.

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Type up a new label, mail it to your sister and don’t bring up that you saw the letter.  

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Maybe it was really meant for your wife and they got the name wrong......

: backsawayslowly:

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1 hour ago, Ned said:

How does it get through the mail with no return address

With magic

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Nobody questioning opening mail addressed to somebody else? 

 

Old person would've included their name, imo- because they learned how to write letters. 

Google would turn up your address- maybe the writer doesn't know the husband's name, and found yours...which makes sense only if your sister goes by her maiden name.

Was this letter received on a Friday?

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19 minutes ago, belljr said:

Maybe it was really meant for your wife and they got the name wrong......

: backsawayslowly:

I suggested this angle to my wife and I thought she’d kill me in my sleep.  Not yet anyway.

 

8 minutes ago, El Floppo said:

Nobody questioning opening mail addressed to somebody else? 

 

Old person would've included their name, imo- because they learned how to write letters. 

Google would turn up your address- maybe the writer doesn't know the husband's name, and found yours...which makes sense only if your sister goes by her maiden name.

Was this letter received on a Friday?

Yes the letter came yesterday. 

 

1 hour ago, Juxtatarot said:

The internet can make it pretty easy to find addresses of relatives.  Good chance you aren’t the only one who received a copy of this letter.

I thought about this...what if my parents also received a letter?  They’d lose their ####.

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8 hours ago, oldmanhawkins said:

Because you doubt its legitimacy or because you want to stay out of others business?

Yes to both. And also because as others have said, if they really wanted to help, they would have put a name to it.

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