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If 62% of kids have given up on sports....what have we done wrong? (1 Viewer)

I was at a midget football game on Sunday.  Score was 28-0 half way through the first.  Idiot coach played the starters into the 4th quarter, they played both sides of the ball.  Even though there is 32 kids.   

So basically it was the coaches kids playing both ways., There is 7 coaches which I found weird.  At 3:30 sec. Into the 4th quarter the  Coach says who hasn't played yet, and wants to go in.  Mind boggling that he never started substituting until the 4th quarter.

Basically coaches like these a-holes drive the kids away.

 
video games, play dates, mommy-control. etc

have you noticed in the town you live or grew up in, there are no more trails or shortcuts? why? because kids dont do anything wihout mommy taking them there.they don't walk now, they don't take shortcuts with their bikes, b/c they don't ride bikes anymore.

used to be you walk or ride your bmx bike to the school yard, and play basketball or football or whatever, with whoever was there.it's how you met people. it's how you realized that some people were nuts or some were cool, some you don't want to mess with, etc.you were away from your parents for hours a day.you grew as a person.but no, nowadays, everything is mommy has to hand-select who you play with , when, and where.it's all about control.mommy HAS TO BE THERE.. it's how society has devolved into this everyone gets a trophy, it's ok to feel bad tommy. in the old days we'd be out 12-15 hours a day, from 8a till at least sundown at 8.30p. you'd be in for a quick sandwhich, and back off on your bike.now, you can't go 5 mins without mommy yelling 'tommy, tommy!! where are you my shnookums..oh baby mommy didnt see u , i need to see you all the time 24/7/365 for 20 years, mmmmmkay?!?!. 

it's all about mommy control now. as a parent with 3 kids under 9, I see so many mothers and the way they are. they simply  cant let tommy dance on the floor without being 4'8" away with a camera, directing him here, there, and everywhere, without letting him just.live. kids are smothered by their moms nowadays.no, its NOT the dads. I see the way moms act picking up there kids.it's all about 'my kid is royalty and yours is a pauper' mentaility. narcissistic, self centered society.

stop giving kids trophies for not winning bmx races, or football games.stop letting kids play soccer -I'm serious, I've never met a soccer kid who wasn't a complete brat ***hole.. its the sport for those who can't make the team in other sports in the USA.can't play hoops bobby? there's always soccer.can't play football? play soccer. they don't keep score, and they don't keep time - it's arbitrary. it might end at X minutes, it might run on 12 minutes, we really don't know nor do we care. My son plays football as a 7 yr old, its comical to watch them, but they hustle, they cry when they lose, they don't get coddled.  my daughters race BMX bikes - it's an individual sport, you lose, that's on you, you sucked that night. they play golf.same story. one plays hoops, as her team coach, I bust her #### to make sure she carries her weight. that she's the one setting the picks, doing the dirty work like boxing out,rebounding. she's not the star of the team, nor is she treated as such.but she works her tail off more than anyone else. my son plays oline.he's 84.4 lbs in an 85lb and under league. he pushes people around like ragdolls. but he works his butt off, he's not coddled. when he comes off the field crying because the coach made them run WAY more than he wanted, my wife and I tell him to suck it up, stop the crying, take a quick sip of water and run back out to the huddle - don't dare be last kid out there. 

I know a kid in my children's  school , he's a boy.parents dress him as  a girl, with skirts, and pink backpack, and bright blue shoes, and a bow in his hair.every,single,day.he goes to the girls bathroom.he's only 7. like he even KNOWS what's going on...mommy has 2 sons, missed the daugher thing, made her youngest into her 'daughter'. guess what happens when izzy ( the 'girl's' name , formerly Zach) hits puberty and realizes he likes girls?  he's forever traumatized by what mommy has done to him. he's the guy who goes postal.sadly his dad has played along, like a 7 yr old even knows. clearly the kid goes along with it because of attention.

parents suck nowadays. schools suck.kids aren't taught US history. they don't know penmanship. don;t get me started on teachers, or common core. it's called social engineering.thankfully , DeSantis signed an excutive order day 1 in office here fla, to eliminate common core , starting 2020.yay! 

 
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When everyone wins, competition gets boring.  I remember going to watch my daughter's softball games when she was 10 and the kids were bored because the adults were trying to make everyone happy and not hurt anyone's feelings.  You could see that the kids were bored.  

As a kid, I loved sports because I loved the feeling of being better than someone on a given day.  And that feeling of losing made me want to be better the next time I played.  I don't think young kids have that thrill.  And therefore don't continue on to play sports once they get to an age where society allows them to finally win and lose.

 
My kids still do some things (cross country in the fall, in town basketball in the winter, track in the spring) at ages 10 and 13 just to get them some exercise.   Initially, I was a little bummed that they didn't take to sports more.   Now that they're this age and I have all my weekends essentially free and a few grand more in my wallet, I'm not complaining.  

 
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Can you provide some context for the statistic in the OP?  Is it that 62% of kids today never play organized sports?  Or that 62% of kids quit playing organized sports by a certain age?  Is that percentage materially lower than it was in the past, and if so, by how much?  If there has been a material reduction, is that for both boys and girls?

I ask because organized sports is absolutely bonkers where I live and a much bigger part of most kids lives than when I was a kid. Just looking at club sports for young girls (elementary and junior high age) in my city, there is indoor volleyball, beach volleyball, swimming, diving, water polo, lacrosse, field hockey, soccer, gymnastics, softball, golf (individual youth competitions rather than club) and tennis. In other cities, I imagine there is also girl’s hockey.  When I was in elementary school, I don’t remember club sports existing for girls of that age in any of the above categories except for gymnastics and soccer (and the girls who played soccer were often sprinkled onto the boys’ teams because there weren’t enough girls for a girls only league).  And now with Title IX, the drive for girls to excel at sports has intensified. I don’t know what the percentages are, but back in the day, I knew very few girls who were playing organized sports in elementary school, and today that percentage for my friends with daughters is around 85%. I can’t imagine that sports participation among young girls has gone down from then to now.

As for the boys, when I was a kid there was youth football, little league baseball, basketball and soccer and that was pretty much it. Sure, a bunch of boys played sports, but the options were limited. Now young boys who aren’t the best at those core sports can pursue things like lacrosse or water polo or swimming. A couple friends of mine have sons who got lacrosse scholarships to college.  Maybe it’s where I live, but sports still remains a big part of most kids lives.

I’m sure there is some context to the quoted percentage that I’m missing.

 
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In my humble opinion, adults have ruined it for kids.  They sit the stands, they carry on like it's the end of the world if their little Johnny isn't the starter, isn't the focus, etc.  They yell at the volunteer refs and embarrass the rest of us, I have seen this time and time again.  Honestly, I used to physically get up and sit in a different area of the stands because I was so repulsed by this childish and embarrassing behavior.  Ultimately, a lot of the parents become coaches so that they can center the game around their son and they surround themselves with like minded parents who don't give a damn about anything except supporting that coach so that THEIR son can start on the team as well, I'm specifically talking about football, it's pretty disgusting really.

And, stupid adults being stupid adults think the other children and parents are clueless morons that don't see what is CLEARLY happening or they simply don't give a damn what anyone else thinks because all that matters is that their kid starts, plays 90% of the game on both sides of the ball and to hell with everything else.  When I played sports, honestly, we had two coaches for football.  One was a really old guy that was also the school janitor and the other guy was some guy who loved football, neither of them had kids, grandkids or relatives on the team.  If you didn't start the game it was because you weren't trying hard enough, you weren't good enough or you pissed the coach off by doing something he told you not to do but by and large everyone got a chance to play in the game.

I only saw this happen one time but I recall one of the Dad's came down to b!tch to our coach about why he took his son out.  Our football coach, whom I couldn't stand at the time because he used to run my ash off, looked at him and said "get back in the stands, you don't belong here, I am the head coach."  And that was that. This would NEVER happen in a million years today.  I have seen kids in tears and throw temper tantrums because they were taken out of scrimmages so the backup kids could play, seriously, scrimmages.  I don't blame these kids, it's their idiotic, selfish, worthless parents who have turned these kids into these little monsters.  

 
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In my humble opinion, adults have ruined it for kids.  They sit the stands, they carry on like it's the end of the world if their little Johnny isn't the starter, isn't the focus, etc.  They yell at the volunteer refs and embarrass the rest of us, I have seen this time and time again.  Honestly, I used to physically get up and sit in a different area of the stands because I was so repulsed by this childish and embarrassing behavior.  Ultimately, a lot of the parents become coaches so that they can center the game around their son and they surround themselves with like minded parents who don't give a damn about anything except supporting that coach so that THEIR son can start on the team as well, I'm specifically talking about football, it's pretty disgusting really.

And, stupid adults being stupid adults think the other children and parents are clueless morons that don't see what is CLEARLY happening or they simply don't give a damn what anyone else thinks because all that matters is that their kid starts, plays 90% of the game on both sides of the ball and to hell with everything else.  When I played sports, honestly, we had two coaches for football.  One was a really old guy that was also the school janitor and the other guy was some guy who loved football, neither of them had kids, grandkids or relatives on the team.  If you didn't start the game it was because you weren't trying hard enough, you weren't good enough or you pissed the coach off by doing something he told you not to do but by and large everyone got a chance to play in the game.

I only saw this happen one time but I recall one of the Dad's came down to b!tch to our coach about why he took his son out.  Our football coach, whom I couldn't stand at the time because he used to run my ash off, looked at him and said "get back in the stands, you don't belong here, I am the head coach."  And that was that. This would NEVER happen in a million years today.  I have seen kids in tears and throw temper tantrums because they were taken out of scrimmages so the backup kids could play, seriously, scrimmages.  I don't blame these kids, it's their idiotic, selfish, worthless parents who have turned these kids into these little monsters.  
You're not wrong, but I would add that there have always been 'those' parents. We're just seeing more of them as more opportunities are available. When I was playing intramural boys club basketball in the late 70's, the ref (a dad who coached a different team and was just volunteering) had to stop the game to calm down a group of unruly parents/siblings.  TBH, while I don't remember the particulars of what was said, I'm pretty sure that paid officials now endure abuse on a more intense, constant basis, so I'll concede that the idiotic behavior is getting worse, but I still say it has existed probably as long as competitive youth sports have existed, which to me is more of a function of society at large and how we're allowed to act/respond to things that don't go our way.

 
I too miss the good old days. Back in those days, rich men would ride around in Zeppelins, dropping coins on people. One day I seen J.D. Rockefeller flying by. So I run of the house with a big washtub and... hey! Where are you going? Anyway, about my washtub. I'd just used it that morning to wash my turkey, which in those days was known as a walking-bird. We'd always have walking-bird on Thanksgiving, with all the trimmings: cranberries, ***** eyes, yams stuffed with gunpowder. Then we'd all watch football, which in those days was called baseball.

 
Technology is more fun now?
Curly nailed it imo

Much more fun to stay at home play video games and socialize on a pc.

Kids learn a love of a sport by playing with with those they love; their friends on the streets/playground. Completely unorganized. 

They climax that love then playing in organized leagues where the stakes are higher.

Kids don't have that foundation of love playing outside as much as they used to, If their 1st introduction into a sport is the organized chaos of "practice" at a rec league where everyone is watching, cheering and screaming....its hard to love that. The sports are boring when you try to field 8-10 kids on a field and only a hand full know what their doing and the others are being told not to do xyz.

Sports are fun as a kid when you're running around acting stupid and making the rules up as you go. Cause that what kids do.

A home run is over the fat telephone wire. A touchdown is passed Mrs Jackson mailbox etc...

Kids simply are having more fun and building a foundation in front of a screen, not on a field.

 
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That doesn’t help explain what the number means. 
The 62% is meaningless without context.  In my experience, the youth sports pyramid is much more intense - meaning, tons of young kids play sports but they get weeded out and numbers decline pretty quickly. By the time kids are 11 or 12 or so, there is already pretty strong pressure to have picked one or maybe 2 main sports to focus on.  The best kids (or kids with the most intense parents) focus on club over school teams in almost all sports from a young age.

I can see 62% being the number by the time kids finish middle school. 

My son is a freshman in high school this fall.  The freshman football team is no-cut, as is cross-country.  If you want to play soccer or volleyball, you'd better have been playing at a top club in town since 5th or 6th grade to have a shot. He wasn't even allowed to try out for both soccer and volleyball, his two main sports.  He made the VB team, but next year the numbers shrink to such a low number of boys, they have to be at the very top of the very best clubs to have a chance.

Also, at my son's high school and at most colleges there are tons of intramural sports opportunities.  People can play bar-league volleyball and soccer into middle age and beyond. So I question what it means to say 62% have given up on sports.

 
Unfortunately that doesn’t really provide any helpful context. It just says “If 62% of kids have given up on sports, what are we doing wrong?” I guess it does indicate that we are talking about kids who played organized sports, and then chose to stop. I’m pretty sure that happens, and has happened, all the time. In my day, kid’s who played little league stopped playing baseball unless they were among the few good enough to make the high school team. Same for basketball and football. 

 
The 62% is meaningless without context.  In my experience, the youth sports pyramid is much more intense - meaning, tons of young kids play sports but they get weeded out and numbers decline pretty quickly. By the time kids are 11 or 12 or so, there is already pretty strong pressure to have picked one or maybe 2 main sports to focus on.  The best kids (or kids with the most intense parents) focus on club over school teams in almost all sports from a young age.

I can see 62% being the number by the time kids finish middle school. 

My son is a freshman in high school this fall.  The freshman football team is no-cut, as is cross-country.  If you want to play soccer or volleyball, you'd better have been playing at a top club in town since 5th or 6th grade to have a shot. He wasn't even allowed to try out for both soccer and volleyball, his two main sports.  He made the VB team, but next year the numbers shrink to such a low number of boys, they have to be at the very top of the very best clubs to have a chance.

Also, at my son's high school and at most colleges there are tons of intramural sports opportunities.  People can play bar-league volleyball and soccer into middle age and beyond. So I question what it means to say 62% have given up on sports.
My son’s high school fields five football teams. That’s right, five full squads. Of course, I live in Texas. 

 
I find it odd here that people are always upset at how society changes. Kids don’t play sports, kids don’t go outside, kids don’t get jobs, kids don’t whatever...  things change. Do you get upset that adults don’t go into offices as much anymore?  Does it bother you we online shop now instead of going to stores?

Who cares?  Let people do what they want to do and stop remembering your childhood through nostalgia lenses.

 
I find it odd here that people are always upset at how society changes. Kids don’t play sports, kids don’t go outside, kids don’t get jobs, kids don’t whatever...  things change. Do you get upset that adults don’t go into offices as much anymore?  Does it bother you we online shop now instead of going to stores?

Who cares?  Let people do what they want to do and stop remembering your childhood through nostalgia lenses.
the substantial increase in childhood obesity is a bit alarming, but other than that, I totally agree.   

 
I find it odd here that people are always upset at how society changes. Kids don’t play sports, kids don’t go outside, kids don’t get jobs, kids don’t whatever...  things change. Do you get upset that adults don’t go into offices as much anymore?  Does it bother you we online shop now instead of going to stores?

Who cares?  Let people do what they want to do and stop remembering your childhood through nostalgia lenses.
I think you're missing the point. I would suggest kids aren't playing sports as much because their parents won't let them fail anymore. So who cares? We should all care. Because those kids are going to grow up without the benefit of the life lessons that failing and succeeding in team sports teaches. They'll be worse human beings because of it. And we'll all suffer for it.

 
I think you're missing the point. I would suggest kids aren't playing sports as much because their parents won't let them fail anymore. So who cares? We should all care. Because those kids are going to grow up without the benefit of the life lessons that failing and succeeding in team sports teaches. They'll be worse human beings because of it. And we'll all suffer for it.
don't you fail playing video games?   why isn't the failure of for instance trying to beat a particular level over and over and then eventually succeeding just as beneficial.  

 
don't you fail playing video games?   why isn't the failure of for instance trying to beat a particular level over and over and then eventually succeeding just as beneficial.  
Different kind of failure. You can just hit reset button. And it's not typically done on a public stage, like team sports. I'm not ripping on video games. I'm ripping on parents who won't let their kids fail at anything, that are sheltering their kids and raising miserable human beings in the process.

 
the substantial increase in childhood obesity is a bit alarming, but other than that, I totally agree.   
That is a fair point, but I’m not sure there’s much correlation to teak sports. I played football, baseball, and basketball growing up. It turned me into an obese offensive lineman and into an obese adult. I lost all that weight by running and changing my diet as an adult.

Nutrition definitely needs to change, but as far as team sports, I’m not sure that changes anyone’s BMI much anyway.

 
Different kind of failure. You can just hit reset button. And it's not typically done on a public stage, like team sports. I'm not ripping on video games. I'm ripping on parents who won't let their kids fail at anything, that are sheltering their kids and raising miserable human beings in the process.
And do you really fail at video games?  I mean, you might not beat a level the first time, but you usually always do eventually.  

If we're talking about playing against other kids, it's easy for a kid to just give up if he keeps losing.  The benefit to the sport is that you have a coach who can help you cope with losing and teach you to get better.

 
I think you're missing the point. I would suggest kids aren't playing sports as much because their parents won't let them fail anymore. So who cares? We should all care. Because those kids are going to grow up without the benefit of the life lessons that failing and succeeding in team sports teaches. They'll be worse human beings because of it. And we'll all suffer for it.
yeah, all these kids not volunteering for the military and forcing the US to bring back the draft is horrible. We need failure to weed out the weak and make strong kids so that we can maintain the best military in the world... 

 
And do you really fail at video games?  I mean, you might not beat a level the first time, but you usually always do eventually.  

If we're talking about playing against other kids, it's easy for a kid to just give up if he keeps losing.  The benefit to the sport is that you have a coach who can help you cope with losing and teach you to get better.
Coaches who help you cope?  You guy’s had much different experiences. I loved playing sports, but the coaches were meatheads who never got past their high school glory. 

 
Different kind of failure. You can just hit reset button. And it's not typically done on a public stage, like team sports. I'm not ripping on video games. I'm ripping on parents who won't let their kids fail at anything, that are sheltering their kids and raising miserable human beings in the process.
I know you're not.   And maybe, but there's still a similar lesson to be learned.   With video games, there's the additional benefit of having to figure it out all on your own.   You don't have a coach there telling you exactly what to do.   To BigMarc's point, i think each have their benefits but we tend to emphasize the benefits of sports and to disregard the benefits of video games b/c of our own frame of reference.  

 
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And do you really fail at video games?  I mean, you might not beat a level the first time, but you usually always do eventually.  

If we're talking about playing against other kids, it's easy for a kid to just give up if he keeps losing.  The benefit to the sport is that you have a coach who can help you cope with losing and teach you to get better.
I don't think you've ever played Age of Empires at the hardest level.    To this day, I can't beat that.   

 
I know your not.   And maybe, but there's still a similar lesson to be learned.   With video games, there's the additional benefit of having to figure it out all on your own.   You don't have a coach there telling you exactly what to do.   To BigMarc's point, i think each have there benefits but we tend to emphasize the benefits of sports and to disregard the benefits of video games b/c of our own frame of reference.  
It might also have something to do with the fact that physical sports have been a thing for thousands of years and video games are about two scores old.

 
I don't have kids, but it seems like sometimes we focus too much on what comes next rather than on the joy of playing the sport today.

An example - I have a friend who has a son playing 7th or 8th grade travel baseball. Because his HS is very large and competitive, he doesn't think his son will be able to play in high school. So his attitude was like, "Well why waste the time and money of all the travel baseball now if he's not going to make the HS team?"

That seems a little ####ed up to me. The reason to play travel baseball is because baseball is SUPER FUN. 

Don't worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow it may rain.

 
That is a fair point, but I’m not sure there’s much correlation to teak sports. I played football, baseball, and basketball growing up. It turned me into an obese offensive lineman and into an obese adult. I lost all that weight by running and changing my diet as an adult.

Nutrition definitely needs to change, but as far as team sports, I’m not sure that changes anyone’s BMI much anyway.
There's certainly multiple factors at play, but what we're seeing is just the moving of the line where people become overweight and eventually obese.   

 
I find it odd here that people are always upset at how society changes. Kids don’t play sports, kids don’t go outside, kids don’t get jobs, kids don’t whatever...  things change. Do you get upset that adults don’t go into offices as much anymore?  Does it bother you we online shop now instead of going to stores?

Who cares?  Let people do what they want to do and stop remembering your childhood through nostalgia lenses.
When my lazy ### tries to order clothes guessing at the right sizes and it's a pain in the ### to ship things back and guess again I do.  Ahh nevermind, going to the store is actually worse  :lol:

 
All I know is 50% of my kids are interested in sports and if it makes me an ##### for being bummed about it, so be it.

My daughter played 4 seasons of soccer and is now in her first year of softball.

My son wants no part of sports.  Granted, he's just 6 but my visions of him being this stud athlete are quickly diminishing.  

 
I know you're not.   And maybe, but there's still a similar lesson to be learned.   With video games, there's the additional benefit of having to figure it out all on your own.   You don't have a coach there telling you exactly what to do.   To BigMarc's point, i think each have their benefits but we tend to emphasize the benefits of sports and to disregard the benefits of video games b/c of our own frame of reference.  
I think most people that rip on video games are ripping on it within the context of that's ALL the kid does. All the time. Nothing else. That's a problem. Let's do both. Or rather, all of the above. Kids should try lots of different things. There are plenty of people (me included) that rip on sports if that's all a kid does - particularly one sport year-round.

 
I think most people that rip on video games are ripping on it within the context of that's ALL the kid does. All the time. Nothing else. That's a problem. Let's do both. Or rather, all of the above. Kids should try lots of different things. There are plenty of people (me included) that rip on sports if that's all a kid does - particularly one sport year-round.
I agree that kids should be exposed to variety of things and to me that variety should include physical activity but not necessarily sports.  If a kid is getting sufficient exercise and also learning to play the violin, that's just as good if not better than playing just sports.    I was going to make the point that the flip side is typically not true where people will rip on a kid for playing sports all the time so at least you're consistent.  

 
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I'm not sure we have done anything wrong. I grew up in the 70's and 80's and loved playing sports but it's not like I had a whole lot of other things to do. Times change. I raised my kids encouraging them to try many things and figure out what they liked. Luckily, they were pretty active in our small school. My son played a lot of video games but also ended up liking hunting, fishing, football and wrestling and he turned into a pretty darn good football player and loved the game. He is now working and can still find enjoyment in hunting, fishing and video games but his football playing days are over. He built a lot of nice memories but his days of being in a team sport might be over.

My daughter is a junior this year. She enjoys reading, cheer leading and dance. She also was a junior princess and a princess for our town and keeps us busy going to parades where she is on the float for that and also has to scurry back to the band to do color guard. She isn't as interested in athletics but is pretty studious and will probably go on to college. Her personality is more big city than our small town so she will probably migrate in that direction. 

I think my kids are doing fine even though they haven't allowed sports to consume their lives. Kids have a lot more options than when I was their age and I want them to try many things and figure out what they are passionate about.

 
14M children in the US are obese. It may be the end all sooner than they think. 
Yep, the life expectancy of the average American has declined three years in a row now.  American parents are a huge part of the problem - they would rather binge watch Netflix for four hours a night than be burdened with insisting their kids do some kind of physical activity.

 

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