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Help with birthday gift for Mom

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I’m out of town and typically I send my Mom some flowers for her birthday or Mother’s Day. She always makes a big deal about getting them but this has been her gift for the last 10 years. She’s turning 79 this week and  doesn’t need anything or particularly want anything.

She had bone cancer a couple of years ago and had a large portion of her femur removed and replaced with a titanium rod. I say that to let you know, getting out and about is doable but not easy. She’s on a walker full time. 

Any thoughts or do I stick with the old standby? I was thinking of having dinner delivered to the house but I have never used any of the delivery (grub hub, etc) options and not sure if they do “nice”dinners??

 Thanks in advance for any suggestions, well the non schtick ones! 

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Blanton's - then you will have something nice to drink when you visit

 

 

P.S. you should visit more. 

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5 minutes ago, Jaysus said:

Blanton's - then you will have something nice to drink when you visit

 

 

P.S. you should visit more. 

For the last 16 years (lived 2 hours away), I have visited my parents at a minimum, once a month. I just recently moved to DC and I am about six hours away. I won’t see them as frequently but I call multiple times a week.

Thanks for the suggestion though! 

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Speaking as a guy who lost his mom not too long ago and watched her go much faster than I thought I would lose her, I strongly suggest you go visit, take her out to lunch and spend some QT with her.  

I don't know much in life but I guarantee you with 100% certainty you will never regret doing this later in your life.

 

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Posted (edited)

Universal rule #36

Unless it is ridiculously extravagant, women (ed: and mothers are women) care more about the getting than the gift. A cheese straightener with a good story of what it took to find just the right one for her is more valuable than the rarest orchid, the shiniest bauble.

ETA: And a gift based on something they said months before is gold. Women give more of themselves, even if they take more too, than we do and returning the favor now & then is solid human economics.

Edited by wikkidpissah
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Make the visit, and if going out is difficult for her take a good meal with you. She'll enjoy your presence more than anything else. I know it's a long drive now and that's a pain in the butt for you, but you won't regret it.

My mom's 87 and in nursing care and going downhill steadily. A year ago she was using a walker and we were still able to get her to, into, out of, and from my car for rides around the local reservoirs. Now it takes 2 aides to get her in a wheelchair (if they can that day) and I can't take her anywhere. So I visit each weekend with things she likes --- watermelon, photos, family stories, food to fill up her bird feeders. I do not know which visit will be the last. She is always happy when I'm there, so I'll be there every Saturday that remains.

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13 minutes ago, General Malaise said:

Speaking as a guy who lost his mom not too long ago and watched her go much faster than I thought I would lose her, I strongly suggest you go visit, take her out to lunch and spend some QT with her.  

I don't know much in life but I guarantee you with 100% certainty you will never regret doing this later in your life.

 

I appreciate this, I really do! But, 

I moved away from home in June. I went to visit her the first week of September. I will be with her at Thanksgiving. I will be visiting again at the beginning of January.

I see my parents frequently and I talk to them multiple times a week. I wish I could see them more but I do make it a point to be with them when we can make it happen. 

I’m really looking for birthday gift ideas.

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Not sure if you have kids or not, and even if you don't: how about one of those digital picture frames loaded up with family pics, pics of her favorite things, stuff like that. 

 

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If she doesn’t have a smartphone buy her and yourself an amazon echo show.  It’s easy for her to use once setup, screen can act as a digital frame . Can be used for video calls between you two , music , weather news etc. 

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1 hour ago, General Malaise said:

Speaking as a guy who lost his mom not too long ago and watched her go much faster than I thought I would lose her, I strongly suggest you go visit, take her out to lunch and spend some QT with her.  

I don't know much in life but I guarantee you with 100% certainty you will never regret doing this later in your life.

 

Time is the most precious gift. I lost my mom in May. We had her move in with us a year and a half before she passed , so happy we had the extra time together 

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1 hour ago, HellToupee said:

Time is the most precious gift. I lost my mom in May. We had her move in with us a year and a half before she passed , so happy we had the extra time together 

That's pretty cool that you were able to have her move in.  The caregiving required in a lot of instances (certainly for my mom) can be too cumbersome for the sort of arrangement you had with your mom.  If I never have to visit a rehab/nursing center/long term care facility again the rest of my life it'll be too soon.  Those places are depressing.

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I would stick with the flowers, maybe double up on what your normally spend and I'll bet she would appreciate a handwritten card where you write something personal, tell her how much she means and that type of thing.

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1 hour ago, General Malaise said:

That's pretty cool that you were able to have her move in.  The caregiving required in a lot of instances (certainly for my mom) can be too cumbersome for the sort of arrangement you had with your mom.  If I never have to visit a rehab/nursing center/long term care facility again the rest of my life it'll be too soon.  Those places are depressing.

Unfortunately she spent her final 6 months in a rehab/ skilled nursing facility. Totally agree about them being depressing . Soul crushing 

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I just bought my mom an Apple watch.  My mom is 80, and she lives by herself.  Of all the features/functions that the watch provides, the feature that made me buy it for her was the fall detection.  If the watch wearer falls, the watch detects the fall and asks if they want to call 911; if there's no response in a minute or two, then the watch automatically dials 911 and also sends a text to any emergency contact person.  This feature has already saved lives (you can Google the stories).  I know there are other devices that do this function, but wearing an Apple Watch doesn't make my mom feel like an old person (and I know she cares about that).

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3 hours ago, ChiefD said:

Not sure if you have kids or not, and even if you don't: how about one of those digital picture frames loaded up with family pics, pics of her favorite things, stuff like that. 

 

This ... or actually print photos off and make a multi photo collage ...photo collage

(I prefer vs watching photos scroll by on a little tv type digital frame)

This was also helpful for my mom when the marbles began to get lost.

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6 hours ago, ChiefD said:

Not sure if you have kids or not, and even if you don't: how about one of those digital picture frames loaded up with family pics, pics of her favorite things, stuff like that. 

 

Yes, good suggestion.

Also saw this at the mall, they embed an old family photo in a block of glass that creates a 3d image. One way to enliven old hard copy images.

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