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Amish Country (1 Viewer)

TheIronSheik

TheIronSheik

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This past week, I've had to work out in the heart of Amish country.  And because of some road work, I've had to take the back roads to and from work.  This meant a lot of driving through the farmlands.  I used to think those people were crazy living like that.  But as I drove home from a stressful drive, stuck in traffic, I started to think, "Maybe I should convert to Amishism.  And also, I should learn the real term of what they call their religion."  Waking up early and just plowing a field.  Raising a barn.  Talking crap about the English.  I mean it kind of sounds like heaven.  Although, the women are ugly.  I'd say no offense to any Amish women reading this, but, going out on a limb, I think I'm safe.  Not because I think Amish don't use the internet.  But more because we're on an outdated form of social media, catering to guys who play fantasy football, but who don't want to talk about fantasy football.  Honestly, I'm surprised any women are here.  Or men.  Some might think, "But Sheik, aren't you married?"  And my answer would be, "Probably not if I switched to Amishism." 

Driving on those two lane country roads, I must have passed at least 50 buggies each day.  50.  Like, where the hell are these people going?  Here I was thinking becoming Amish would get me away from rush hour traffic and these people are in it and the cause of a lot of it.  So they still deal with traffic, the women are ugly, and I can't grow a beard. I mean besides that... No.  No, I guess I couldn't handle it.  Ok, but, if we could get some hot women.  Maybe allow me to still use a car.  And power tools.  Plus I don't want to wake up early.  Or work.  If I could get all that, being Amish would rule.  

Side note:  On the way home, there's a sign I saw that said in big letters WORLD'S BIGGEST ANTIQUE COLLECTION 5 MILES ON RIGHT.  Then, as I got closer, I could see above the big letters were smaller letters that said "probably one of the..."   :lol:   I just picture Jebidiah and Ezekiel going "Well, is there anyway to confirm were the biggest?"  "No."  "Well are we one of the biggest?"  "Probably?"  "Ok.  Put that on the sign."

 
DaVinci said:
Amish stand-up is in a Dark Age. Maybe you could be just what they need.  :mellow:
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I could probably actually kill.  I'd just steal Seinfeld's material and churn it into my own.  It's a proven model that works.

"What's the deal with no food allowed on buggies?"

 
I just don't get the Amish, though.  So many questions.  First off, how are you?  But secondly, do the Amish and the Mennonites hate each other?  I feel like the Amish look at the Mennonites wearing their fancy colored clothes and think, "Look at these mother####ers.  :smh: "  

But other questions I wonder are:

1. Why are they allowed to use some technology but not all?  They use power tools and cell phones.  I asked one and he said that they can use those devices if NOT using them would hurt them financially by not being able to compete with the English.  Well, couldn't you say that about everything?  
2. I see them out in the fields on a piece of machinery, but they have horses pulling it.  I mean, that seems like cheating.  
3.  Where do they get those awesome scooter/bikes?  I kind of want one.

 
Sheik I went to Amish country in Holmes county Ohio for a vacation Labor Day week. 

Went to a place where we rode around on a wagon driven by an Amish guy and we fed giraffes out of our hand. 

Good times man. 

 
NREC34 said:
Sheik I went to Amish country in Holmes county Ohio for a vacation Labor Day week. 

Went to a place where we rode around on a wagon driven by an Amish guy and we fed giraffes out of our hand. 

Good times man. 
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Yeah, we live right next to Amish country, so we're there all the time.  It's a cool place.  But... giraffes?  Is that Amish?

 
I think I'd probably move out to Intercourse or Blue Ball, PA, just so I could dryly tell people that "I've been suffering from too much Blue Ball today, so I'm going to Intercourse" and pretend to not understand their reaction to what I just said.

 
Aren't you a brown-ish guy Sheik?  Does that disqualify you from being Amish?  :(  

Spent some time on the back roads in Wisconsin Mennonite territory.  The kids were walking to school and every one of them smiled and waved.   They seemed really happy even though they were walking miles in the middle of winter.

 
I like visiting Amish country with the wife to visit some of the cheese places and farm stores.  It would be so much better if there weren't all those stupid buggies and Amish folk running around.  They are the WORST dog breeders by the way.  Most Amish breeders are really just puppy mills.  Treat the dogs like crap because they look at them like cash revenue rather than pets.  I'm really not an Amish fan I guess... 

 
  • Smile
Reactions: Ned
I am probably in the minority on this but I think Amish women are hot. I bet they are freaks in the bed too. 

 
WDIK2 said:
Aren't you a brown-ish guy Sheik?  Does that disqualify you from being Amish?  :(  

Spent some time on the back roads in Wisconsin Mennonite territory.  The kids were walking to school and every one of them smiled and waved.   They seemed really happy even though they were walking miles in the middle of winter.
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When I went to school in Madison I would ride my bike around lake Mendota every day.  some days I would venture farther out and the Mennonites, as you know, are right out there.  One day I was coming down the road and saw a buggy off to the side with a broken wheel.  The man was struggling to lift it as the grade was against him and he did not have the proper tools for the lean of the hill.  I stopped to assist.  I was wearing only bike shorts and shoes. I was glistening with sweat and was, at that time, a pile of muscle.  His daughter was checking me out, glancing and then glancing away quickly.  He was put out but needed the help.   We got him squared away and I offered them one of my water bottles as they had none and had been out in the sun for some time.  He declined, politely.

 
Didn’t see many Amish in the yoga pants thread. And even in Witness with Kelly McGillis taking a sponge bath I still don’t think I could go there. I’m no John Book

 
TheIronSheik said:
I just don't get the Amish, though.  So many questions.  First off, how are you?  But secondly, do the Amish and the Mennonites hate each other?  I feel like the Amish look at the Mennonites wearing their fancy colored clothes and think, "Look at these mother####ers.  :smh: "  

But other questions I wonder are:

1. Why are they allowed to use some technology but not all?  They use power tools and cell phones.  I asked one and he said that they can use those devices if NOT using them would hurt them financially by not being able to compete with the English.  Well, couldn't you say that about everything?  
2. I see them out in the fields on a piece of machinery, but they have horses pulling it.  I mean, that seems like cheating.  
3.  Where do they get those awesome scooter/bikes?  I kind of want one.
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To #1 - I think those are Mennonites, no?  They're a bit more progressive.

 
AAABatteries said:
What’s the beef between the Amish and the English?
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I would say their lifestyle and the way they treat their women were things I gleaned from a conversation I had with a lady running a beer store in Millersburg, Ohio. 

Had to go over there because where I was staying was dry. 

She also said the Amish were hypocrites and some would ride over there in their horse and buggy and buy alcohol then lie about why they were buying it. 

She really acted like she couldn’t stand them. 

 
Don Quixote said:
I think I'd probably move out to Intercourse or Blue Ball, PA, just so I could dryly tell people that "I've been suffering from too much Blue Ball today, so I'm going to Intercourse" and pretend to not understand their reaction to what I just said.
Click to expand...
make a wrong turn on the way to Intercourse and you'll end up in Bird-In-Hand..  

 
TheIronSheik said:
This past week, I've had to work out in the heart of Amish country.  And because of some road work, I've had to take the back roads to and from work.  This meant a lot of driving through the farmlands.  I used to think those people were crazy living like that.  But as I drove home from a stressful drive, stuck in traffic, I started to think, "Maybe I should convert to Amishism.  And also, I should learn the real term of what they call their religion."  Waking up early and just plowing a field.  Raising a barn.  Talking crap about the English.  I mean it kind of sounds like heaven.  Although, the women are ugly.  I'd say no offense to any Amish women reading this, but, going out on a limb, I think I'm safe.  Not because I think Amish don't use the internet.  But more because we're on an outdated form of social media, catering to guys who play fantasy football, but who don't want to talk about fantasy football.  Honestly, I'm surprised any women are here.  Or men.  Some might think, "But Sheik, aren't you married?"  And my answer would be, "Probably not if I switched to Amishism." 

Driving on those two lane country roads, I must have passed at least 50 buggies each day.  50.  Like, where the hell are these people going?  Here I was thinking becoming Amish would get me away from rush hour traffic and these people are in it and the cause of a lot of it.  So they still deal with traffic, the women are ugly, and I can't grow a beard. I mean besides that... No.  No, I guess I couldn't handle it.  Ok, but, if we could get some hot women.  Maybe allow me to still use a car.  And power tools.  Plus I don't want to wake up early.  Or work.  If I could get all that, being Amish would rule.  

Side note:  On the way home, there's a sign I saw that said in big letters WORLD'S BIGGEST ANTIQUE COLLECTION 5 MILES ON RIGHT.  Then, as I got closer, I could see above the big letters were smaller letters that said "probably one of the..."   :lol:   I just picture Jebidiah and Ezekiel going "Well, is there anyway to confirm were the biggest?"  "No."  "Well are we one of the biggest?"  "Probably?"  "Ok.  Put that on the sign."
Click to expand...
You need to start farming hemp. Many Amish farmers are switching over to hemp and making a fortune. They are loaded with cash (no taxes) and make all of their kids do a majority of the hard labor

 
A group of German Baptist (Dunkers) in the Redlands, south of Miami, open for the winter months. When they open in a few weeks, there will be lines forming at 4am to be the first to get their famous cinnamon rolls. My mom loved their dilly bread, everyone loves the strawberry milkshakes. My kids loved their u-pick strawberries and grape tomatoes. This year, the Knaus Berry Farm is advertising a pumpkin spice milkshake. 

Their dress is very modest and similar to the Amish. But they use telephones and cars. 

 
Judge Smails said:
Didn’t see many Amish in the yoga pants thread. And even in Witness with Kelly McGillis taking a sponge bath I still don’t think I could go there. I’m no John Book
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Amish porn is a thing.  At least that's what a friend told me.

 
We have Amish communities in southern indiana.  The classiest people you will ever meet.  Had a tornado go thru and completely wipe out a local cabinet makers production facility.  The whole community pitched in and rebuilt it and was up and running three days later.  The other Amish cabinet makers even pitched in and covered all their orders due to the damage and down time. 

And despite their lack of makeup and  very conservative dress, there are beautiful Amish women.  They have a women's softball team, they are thin, athletic and tough.  Kind of fun to watch.  

 
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WDIK2 said:
Aren't you a brown-ish guy Sheik?  Does that disqualify you from being Amish?  :(  

Spent some time on the back roads in Wisconsin Mennonite territory.  The kids were walking to school and every one of them smiled and waved.   They seemed really happy even though they were walking miles in the middle of winter.
Click to expand...
Didn't you ever watch Amish Mafia?   They had a black dude on that show.  

 
Ned said:
To #1 - I think those are Mennonites, no?  They're a bit more progressive.
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Yes and no.  Mennonites are slightly more progressive and are allowed crazy things like colors, the Amish still allow themselves to use certain things.  Just not sure why or when they can use them.  I do know that a lot of Amish farmers who work at like Farmers Markets will use cell phones because they need to coordinate deliveries or things like that.  It's odd.  Also, we were on vacation to OBX and a bus pulled up and the whole thing was filled with Amish people coming to see the beach.  Like, what?  :confused:

 
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Reactions: Ned
AAABatteries said:
What’s the beef between the Amish and the English?
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The "English" are what the Amish call anyone who is not Amish.  When the English are around them, the Amish will speak about them in Pennsylvania Dutch.  If you are ever around an Amish person and they start speaking a different language, you can pretty well guarantee that they are talking bad about you.

 
I delivered bags of ice and ice blocks during college for a couple years. Pretty great job for a college kid, load up a dually truck with a 800 bags of ice drive around the country side delivering them to bars, small stores, etc. Kept my own schedule, got exercise, drove around southern Indiana which is somewhat nice looking part of the country.

Didn't like delivering the ice blocks. Total pain in the ###. We sold the majority of these to stores to the Amish areas of the state. So when I saw them on the order sheet I knew I had to drive out to that part of the state. Would see the Amish in the stores occasionally. Never talked, never said hello, very little eye contact. The whole thing combined with the beard no mustache I have to be honest kind of creeped me out a bit.

I still remember one morning lugging one of the PITA blocks into a store when an Amish man was coming out and was hoping I could meet him just as he was exiting to get a hand with the door. He held it for me and looked at me and said something which was definitely out of the ordinary. I continued in and just happened to see out of the corner of my eye him getting into a Buick and driving off. There are rouge Amish out there. 

 
First Sheik if you are ever up in the Wyomissing (Berks County) area for work and want to grab lunch let me know, would love to meat the IronSheik in person.

As for what they use there are different sects much like not all protestants are the same. Some use no technology, some use tractors but must have steel wheels (more on that in a moment) others are more progressive yet. I actually have two guys in my golf group that goes to Myrtle every year that were born/raised Amish. One guy his whole family left when he was young, the other guy left after rumspinga so he still has family that are Amish. Interestingly his parents still talk to and associate with him, his sister however went through rumspringa and then took her vows to stay and a few years later changed her mind and left. His family has shunned her and have little contact with her. Always have a good time having a few drinks with him and hearing about his youth.

On the steel wheel tractors, they piss me off. They run up and down the roads and tear the hell out of them. Another interesting side note a buddy of mine hit an Amish horse and buggy that had broken loose and run into the road in front of him. No people on board but the horse was put down. A few days later a guy from the Amish church shows up and pays him in cash for his car that was totaled.

 
SwampDawg said:
First Sheik if you are ever up in the Wyomissing (Berks County) area for work and want to grab lunch let me know, would love to meat the IronSheik in person.
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I don't get out that way for lunch unfortunately.  Office is in KOP and our closest plant is in Lancaster, so I go out there a bunch to test things.  But I live fairly close to Wyomissing.  Sometimes, we go up there to hit that Italian Market.  That place has some awesome food.  It's called Russo's.

 
TheIronSheik said:
I don't get out that way for lunch unfortunately.  Office is in KOP and our closest plant is in Lancaster, so I go out there a bunch to test things.  But I live fairly close to Wyomissing.  Sometimes, we go up there to hit that Italian Market.  That place has some awesome food.  It's called Russo's.
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Yep, been to Russo's many times. The Farmer's Market not far from there over behind Best Buy is open Friday and Saturday's, some good food in there as well.

 
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