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A Plea To Please Be Excellent To Each Other (2 Viewers)
- Thread starter Joe Bryant
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timschochet
Footballguy
KCitons
Footballguy
You've all missed @Joe Bryant's point. He didn't say that you shouldn't disagree, he just asked you to be excellent to each other.
I have people in my life that frustrate me with their opinions and actions. I dont be little them and I dont bring a group of my friends to attack them to get the opposite point across.
I've been on the receiving end. If I post the sky is red, it doesn't take 10 of you to post the same argument as to why the sky is blue. If you have a unique take that differs from the previous posters, then post it. Otherwise what are you doing besides piling on? This is what leads to the claims of mob mentality. The world is full of people that think differently. Make your argument and move on.
I have people in my life that frustrate me with their opinions and actions. I dont be little them and I dont bring a group of my friends to attack them to get the opposite point across.
I've been on the receiving end. If I post the sky is red, it doesn't take 10 of you to post the same argument as to why the sky is blue. If you have a unique take that differs from the previous posters, then post it. Otherwise what are you doing besides piling on? This is what leads to the claims of mob mentality. The world is full of people that think differently. Make your argument and move on.
timschochet
Footballguy
A lot of times when this happens the “mob” is simply due to people posting at or around the same time.
dkp993
Footballguy
2 things to add to my post....
I talk to my General Mangers all the time about with emails (or any written word communication) that tone and tenor are an extraordinarily important part of the communication. With the written word you have to think about how the other person is reading into it, where in person your tone and tenor often convey your intentions better then the actual words coming out of your mouth. Communicating via written word takes far more fore thought to conveying intention, yet it often doesn't happen with most of us. Taking time to consider how the other person could interpret your intentions or meaning goes a long way toward preventing issues.
Secondly I'm a 44 year old man, getting likes for my posts never factors into my intention, I guess I missed growing up in an era where this became important. With that said why do I get a sense of satisfaction when @krista4 likes one of my posts?
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identikit
Footballguy
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timschochet
Footballguy
You shouldn’t. But why assume that there will be no results? You shouldn’t do that either.
identikit
Footballguy
Because I've seen you (and others) pledge, then go right back to the same un-excellence (usually much sooner than later).
krista4
Footballguy
2 things to add to my post....
I talk to my General Mangers all the time about with emails (or any written word communication) that tone and tenor are an extraordinarily important of the communication. With the written word you have to think about how the other person is reading into it, where in person your tone and tenor often convey your intentions better then the actual words coming out of your mouth. Communicating via written word takes far more fore thought to conveying intention, yet it often doesn't happen with most of us. Taking time to consider how the other person could interpret your intentions or meaning goes a long way toward preventing issues.
Secondly I'm a 44 year old man, getting likes for my posts never factors into my intention, I guess I missed growing up in an era where this became important. With that said why do I get a sense of satisfaction when @krista4 likes one of my posts?
I was reading through the first paragraph thinking, "This is another great point," and then got to end! You have made two excellent and highly reasonable posts here that I appreciate. At work if I have a difficult message to send, I'll type it up and then set it aside for a bit, to re-read with fresh eyes and attention to tone. Your suggestion to consider the interpretation from someone else's POV is spot-on, though the problem in this forum can be when someone specifically intends the negative interpretation.I would add that @jon_mx's terrific post on the first page is one that a lot of us (including jon himself) should re-read and keep in mind when we're posting. I think at times we can all fall into one or more of the traps he describes.
pinkham13
Footballguy
You are 100% wrong according to the dictionary socialism is the prelude to communism. Facts.
https://www.dictionary.com/e/socialism-democracy/
I searched "prelude" on the page you linked and it might surprise you to find that it wasn't used once.
Don't Noonan
Footballguy
This is the type of thinking and posting that will surely bring us closer like Joe wants. Also, laughing at any Trump supporter posts is great too.
pinkham13
Footballguy
Let me point you to the dictionary as well socialism is always the prelude to communism. Maybe it’s just you and team blue that doesn’t understand.
https://www.dictionary.com/e/socialism-democracy/
KCitons
Footballguy
Can you explain this comment? I dont see how that makes a difference. The example I used was if I post that the sky is red. If Bob posts that the sky is blue due to X, why would 5 more people need to post that it's due to X. Did they not read Bob's post? I doubt it.
The other thing that happens is that Bob will post X as a counterargument, while Ken posts Y as a counterargument. Even though X and Y contradict each other and can't both be correct. However, Bob and Ken never engage in disputing each other, the singular goal is only to dispute my comments. That's why there is a perception of a mob mentality. The mob doesn't feed on its own.
dkp993
Footballguy
Re: the bolded. I completely agree. I also believe most of that stems from my first point about the anonymity the keyboard provides and the breaking of social norms.
I would add that @jon_mx's terrific post on the first page is one that a lot of us (including jon himself) should re-read and keep in mind when we're posting. I think at times we can all fall into one or more of the traps he describes.
I searched "prelude" on the page you linked and it might surprise you to find that it wasn't used once.
I am not hopeful from any longterm improvement from many of the responses in this thread. I think Krista and dk are having a productive discussion and I would hope discussions along those lines would continue.
Courtjester
The Town Drunk
People just need to hold it together for a little over a year and this problem solves itself. I believe Biden will be the next president and this place will become a ghost town overnight. Sure there will be some drive by trolling now and again, but there sure won't be more than one thread started per day. This forum will make the basketball forum look active at that point.
The person I feel bad for is Tim because he literally will be having to respond to his own posts. He will have to use one of his aliases just to have someone to argue with.
I basically had this conversation with my wife earlier in the week, that once Trump is gone, what is CNN going to do? I mean, they have over 20 hit pieces on their front page on him. I mean there are only going to be so many hurricanes, plane crashes and white cops shooting people to keep them relevant. That network owes a debt of gratitude to Trump and all the source material he has given them.
The person I feel bad for is Tim because he literally will be having to respond to his own posts. He will have to use one of his aliases just to have someone to argue with.
I basically had this conversation with my wife earlier in the week, that once Trump is gone, what is CNN going to do? I mean, they have over 20 hit pieces on their front page on him. I mean there are only going to be so many hurricanes, plane crashes and white cops shooting people to keep them relevant. That network owes a debt of gratitude to Trump and all the source material he has given them.
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Thanks for the mention. That makes you, Tim, and Joe. It is a good post, but what frustrates me is I don't have the solution. I can spot where the downfall is, but I have no idea how to correct it. Pointing it out is just whining. Throwing their tactics back at them is hypocritical. People need to realize those tactics do not lead to positive discussions. But how do you tell people and do most people even really care more about improving the tone of discussions than winning?
ETA: I do appreciate Joe for taking a bold stand and trying.
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My post was not directed at any poster. I am not going to sugarcoat how I feel about issues. Especially when it comes to Trump's weaknesses as a human being. I have been asked not to respond to posts with just an emoji. And I will respect that. But as long as there's a reaction emoji button I will use it when I think a certain reaction is appropriate.
sho nuff
Footballguy
I suggest you find a better place to post this...I don't think this thread is the one for spreading such things...
Let's go ahead and wrap this thread up. Thanks to those who will help us in trying to do what I'm asking. I've got some more thoughts on this I'll try to put together into something coherent for a future thread.
I'd rather stop this one here before it veers completely off the tracks.
I will say this - I trust you folks. I trust that you have good intentions and good hearts. I think we all want mostly the same big picture things. We may just have different ways to get there. I know that sounds naive but I think it's true.
And I think the key that, at least for me and the maybe not normal way I think, is civil discussion. And for me, that's being excellent to each other.
Not just recognizing differences but accepting differences. Instead of demonizing the "other" side or weaponizing our points Or their points.
We've got a lot of work to do. And I fully recognize what I'm striving for is probably tilting at windmills and futile. But I'm still going to try. And I'm going to ask you folks to help me. Thanks.
Peace and Grace to you.
I'd rather stop this one here before it veers completely off the tracks.
I will say this - I trust you folks. I trust that you have good intentions and good hearts. I think we all want mostly the same big picture things. We may just have different ways to get there. I know that sounds naive but I think it's true.
And I think the key that, at least for me and the maybe not normal way I think, is civil discussion. And for me, that's being excellent to each other.
Not just recognizing differences but accepting differences. Instead of demonizing the "other" side or weaponizing our points Or their points.
We've got a lot of work to do. And I fully recognize what I'm striving for is probably tilting at windmills and futile. But I'm still going to try. And I'm going to ask you folks to help me. Thanks.
Peace and Grace to you.
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